by Lena Hart
“Ha! That’s just the beginning.”
The reverend proceeded to list all the repairs around the church that needed work. And it was quite a list.
“Do you have all the supplies for these tasks?” James asked.
The reverend shrugged. “I might. Everything during and after the construction was stored in the cellar. You’re welcome to take a look to see what else we might need.”
James inclined his head. “Lead the way.”
Reverend Linc led him outside of the church and around the back. It was then he decided to broach the subject.
“I heard there were some missionaries that arrived here the other day,” James began in what he hoped was a casual tone. “Are they all residing here at the church?”
“Oh, no. Those ladies are staying in the red cabins.”
James’ heart leapt with anticipation. She was here.
“If you ask me,” Reverend Linc continued, “they’re better off there too. Those small shacks are a far sight better than this building, with its weak walls and floors.”
“The church looks new. Why the feeble construction?”
“Why you think? One of those vagabonds in town burnt down our first building. I reckon they figured it’ll come down again so why bother building something sturdy?”
James frowned. “Have you taken this up with the sheriff?”
The reverend turned and gave him an incredulous look. “I can’t be too certain he wasn’t the one who lit the fire.” Suddenly, as if realizing he’d said too much, Reverend Linc pursed his lips and continued toward the tall cellar door.
From the wary glance the reverend had shot him right before he had turned away, James could only guess the vandals had been white men. Although he resented the idea of someone of the law neglecting to protect their citizens, James wasn’t exactly surprised by it. Before and since the war, he had the misfortune of meeting extremely hateful, bigoted men. As much as James sympathized with the small community’s unfortunate situation, he needed to focus on the real reason he was there—before the reverend did like everyone else in the community and completely shut him out.
“So about those cabins, are you sure they’re secure? If they’re close by, maybe I can drop by and take a look at them.”
Reverend Linc unlatched the door and pulled it open with a hard tug. “I believe they’re about two, three miles west of here, but it could—Hey! Where you off to?”
James didn’t stop in his tracks when he called back. “Sorry, Reverend. I just realized I’m late for an appointment.”
About three years too late.
James got to his horse and started off toward the direction the reverend had mentioned. In a mad gallop, he made it to the row of small, red cabins in record time. It was a little after noon yet the area appeared desolate. For a moment, James wondered if the reverend had gotten their location mistaken until he saw a young woman leaving from one of the cabins. He swung his horse in her direction and rushed toward her.
The woman froze, her dark eyes saucers as she clutched an armful of books to her chest. James immediately dismounted and pulled off his hat.
“Sorry, Miss. I don’t mean to bother you. I’m looking for Maddie—Madeline Asher. Can you point me to her cabin?”
The woman glanced toward his eyepatch, and then continued staring at him. For a moment, James wondered if she too would ignore him as the others had. He held on to his waning patience.
“Reverend Linc sent me,” James lied.
Well, it’s not a complete lie.
“The cabin on the end is where Maddie stays,” the woman finally said. “But she might still be at the school.”
School?
James simply inclined his head. With one final look in his direction, she continued down the path. He led his horse toward the last cabin down the row, his heart thudding in his chest.
Suddenly, he found himself torn between his anticipation to see her and his fear of how she would react when she saw him. As much as he wanted to lay his sights on her, to touch and hold her, there was a part of him that was afraid that she wouldn’t be as eager to see him.
Five years was a long time since they’d laid eyes on each other. He wasn’t the same man she’d known before the war. He no longer looked the same. With his damaged face, what if she found him repulsive? Frightening?
What if she had moved on from him?
James tethered his horse nearby and walked up to the cabin. Like he had done many times before, especially during the pits of battle, he shoved his fears and uncertainty deep inside himself. Fate—and perhaps even God—had brought him this far.
There was no turning back now.
Madeline was pleased with yet another successful day with her students.
The men and women of Dunesville were more eager about their education than she had realized—or had given them credit for. Because the previous evening’s class had been overcrowded, she had managed to convince those who could spare the time to attend the mid-day classes, saving the evening ones for those who needed it the most.
Today, she had gotten a decent turnout with a group that was just as eager about the upcoming classes and the thought filled Madeline with a quiet happiness and excitement.
As she made her way back to her cabin, the high afternoon sun beat down on her, adding to her lightheadedness and fatigue from the long walk from the school. She made a mental note to start eating something in the mornings before class, at least until the end of this sweltering summer, or else she wouldn’t have the stamina to teach anyone anything.
Madeline continued toward her small cabin, making another mental note to start carrying a hat with her to ward off the harsh sun. By the time she made it through the door of her cabin, she couldn’t think of anything more heavenly than the pitcher of cool water inside.
Madeline dropped her bag of books on the ground and rushed to the pantry. She reached for the pitcher and mug until she realized they both weren’t where she had left them.
She froze.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, and she could sense with every fiber in her being that she wasn’t alone. Panic swelled inside her but she swiftly suppressed it. She wasn’t the same helpless Maddie she had been two years ago. She began to slowly slide the knife out of her wrist holster, wishing she had her pistol in the same easy reach.
Once she had the knife from its sheath, Madeline whirled around to face her intruder.
Instead, she came face to face with a ghost.
The bottom dropped from her stomach, along with the knife from her hand. She had dreamed of that moss-green gaze and sensual lips that had stretched into a wicked smile whenever he had fancied a kiss from her.
Madeline shook her head.
No, this can’t be him.
The Jimmy she knew was dead and her mind was playing tricks on her. This strange man who bore the ravages of violence on one side of his face was just a larger, coarse, and damaged imitation of the man she had once known. He was here to hurt her and like before, she would be too weak, too stupid, to stop him.
Yet, with just a few simple words—words spoken in the same deep, richly smooth voice she remembered so well—the man managed to strip away the last of her defenses.
“I’ve missed you, Ladybug.”
Madeline gaped at him. Suddenly, something strange moved over her and the blood drained from her head.
To her immense horror, she fainted.
Chapter Five
Well, hell.
James barely had time to reach Madeline before she hit the ground. Luckily, he was quick. He lifted her in his arms, and for a moment he stood there, relishing the feel of her in his arms again. It had been too long since he’d been able to hold her, to have her pressed against him like this.
But he’d obviously frightened her to unconsciousness and needed to make sure she was all right. Crossing the short steps to her bed, he placed her down gently. Her smooth, brown cheeks were flushed slightly and he
undid a few of the buttons of her high collar.
He went to the water pitcher and dampened a cloth before he rushed back to the bed. James sat down beside her and lightly pressed the cool cloth against her flushed cheeks and down her neck. His gaze moved over her as he took in every nuance of her matured features.
It had been too long since he had been able to lay eyes on her, and yet she was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more so. And now that he had found her, had seen her, he couldn’t wait a moment longer to press his lips against hers and savor her sweet softness.
His gaze drifted down to her full, supple lips. With very little thought, or decency, James leaned down and kissed her. He lingered there for a moment, cherishing the deep pleasure of the stolen kiss and committing the taste of her to memory.
Just as he began to pull away, the hard steel barrel of a gun pressed beneath his chin. James froze. The sharp crack of the gun being cocked disrupted the warm, easy comfort of the small quarters.
“You’re right,” he said, inching back away from her, his hands raised in surrender. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
She pushed at his chest, keeping the Derringer leveled at his face. James kept his eye on the gun, vaguely wondering where the hell it had come from and just how well she knew how to handle it.
“Sorry. That was stupid. Now put down the gun, love.”
She ignored him, her shrewd gaze held steadily on him. There was a weariness in her eyes that seemed to age her more than her twenty-three years, but beyond that, she looked very much the same.
“Who are you?”
“Maddie, it’s me.”
He reached for her and she scooted away from him, lowering her arm until the gun was aimed squarely at his heart.
James frown. “I know I’ve changed, but don’t you recognize me? Even a little?”
She slowly shook her head, but her gaze was unwavering. “You can’t be him… Jimmy’s dead. They told me…they told me he died in battle.”
His heart broke at the anguish in her voice.
“I’m very much alive, Ladybug.” He offered her a gentle smile. “And I have a waterfall to show you, remember?”
Tears welled in her eyes. She released the hammer and lowered the Derringer. “Jimmy?”
“Yes, love. It’s me.”
With a loud sob, she tossed the gun aside and threw her arms around him. He tightened his arms around her and held her close, not realizing how much he had missed the way she called his name until that moment. It had been a long time since anyone had called him by that nickname. It brought back memories of her, his family, and his life before the war.
The wetness of her tears slid down his neck and James tightened his arms around her. Her embrace was the loveliest thing he’d experience in a long time. A tight lump formed in his own throat as five years of hell, of not being able to hold her like this, tore through him.
“I thought you were lost to me,” he murmured thickly against her hair as her body shook with silent sobs.
The countless days and nights he’d spent wondering if he would ever see her again, wondering if she was happy and safe, came pouring through him and he shut his eye against the sting of emotion that burned in his eye. He hadn’t allowed himself to think of what he had given up, of what he had lost, until now.
But now that he had her back, James had no intentions of ever letting her go.
She pushed away from him and stared searchingly at him, her eyes and cheeks dampened with tears.
“What happened to you, Jimmy? Where have you been? Why didn’t you come back to me?”
“I wanted to, love.” He wiped away the dampness on her cheeks. “Believe me, I wanted to.”
She stared at him as if waiting for the explanation he didn’t know how to give her. There just were no right words to tell her how broken he had been after his release from the Confederate prison camp, how he had been just a shell of himself after three months in the worst hell he had ever had to endure. It had taken him months to find his center again, his reason for living, and when he had, it had been too late.
She had been gone.
Madeline reached out and brushed her fingers lightly along his eye patch. “What happened?”
James turned away, and she let her hand settle back on her lap. He regretted the embarrassment that now tainted her face but he wasn’t ready to expose those dark memories yet. He knew he would have to. It had been a part of his healing, to talk about the atrocities he had witnessed and faced. Yet, he didn’t want to revisit those memories now. All he wanted right now was to savor this moment of having her back in his arms and in his life.
James took her hand in his. “I know you have a lot of questions, Ladybug, and that there’s a lot for us to discuss, but just know that as soon as I was able, I came back to Pennsylvania only to learn that you had left. I went searching for you all over. Reading, Philadelphia, New York, Chicago. It wasn’t until I discovered you had left for Montana to marry a wealthy miner that I stopped looking. I didn’t have much to offer you and I didn’t want to take you away from what could have been a happy life for you.”
“Jimmy, I could never be happy with anyone else.” Her hands tightened around his. “I’ve been miserable without you.”
His heart warmed at her words. “I’ve been miserable as well.” He brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. “Now that I’ve found you, I don’t plan to ever let you out of my sight.”
James pulled her toward him and sealed that promise with a kiss. For a moment, she was still against him, almost rigid. But he kept his mouth lightly pressed on hers and she slowly began to lean fully into him.
She rested her palm gingerly across his shoulder and he gathered her close, deepening the kiss. He savored the familiar taste of her, her sweet scent and gentle touch. In that moment, he would have given anything to have them naked, her smooth skin pressed against his.
Yet, as much as he wanted to be inside her again, to have her thighs trembling around him as he rode her through the depths of incredible pleasure, he had vowed that the next time they made love, she would be his wife.
James drew back, his breath coming out deep and ragged. He cupped her face, his heart racing with need and swelling with immense love and joy. He couldn’t help placing another fast kiss on her lips.
“Tomorrow,” he promised. “Tomorrow, we’ll have the reverend marry us, and then we’ll start out for Canada and…what is it?”
She shook her head. “I can’t marry you, Jimmy.”
His head jerked back in surprise. “What?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you. Not anymore. Not after…” Her gaze slid away from his. “You’ll never know how good it does my heart to know that you’re still alive, but things have changed, and I’ve made a commitment to the people of Dunesville. I can’t leave them now.”
He frowned. “What sort of commitment?”
“Teaching and recruiting more voters. The men and women here need a basic education and we have only just begun. I can’t abandon them now. Not when there is so much at stake.”
James could only stare at her. He had expected shock, maybe some uncertainty, but he hadn’t expected her to flat-out refuse him. The bond between them was strong and he had hoped she would be eager to continue on with the life they had dreamed for themselves.
“What about us, our future? We were supposed to leave for Canada, to build a new life for ourselves there.”
She pulled her hands out of his. “That was a long time ago, Jimmy, and dreams do fade. Things are different now. I am different. And I don’t know if things can be the way they once were between us.”
James gritted his teeth as a sinking thought entered his mind. “Is there someone else?” Something in his gut clenched at the thought that she may now be in love with another.
“No, there isn’t anyone else, but… You shouldn’t have come back for me. You should have just moved on.”
“I love you, Maddie. Once I fou
nd out you were here, moving on wasn’t an option for me.”
Tears again welled in her eyes. “But I’m no good for you. Not anymore.”
He regarded her closely, and he suddenly saw the somberness in her eyes, a sorrow he had never seen before.
“What happened to you to make you think that?”
Apprehension and shame filled her dark brown eyes, before she tore her gaze away and rested it on her clasped hands. He took her hand in his and laced their fingers together, wanting to wipe away that look from her eyes forever.
“Fate has brought you back to me, Maddie, and I have no intention of ever leaving you again.”
Madeline stared at James, still reeling from the shock of having him sitting right across from her—very much alive.
She also reeled from the fact that he still wanted them to marry. She didn’t have the words to tell him why he shouldn’t. The shame of what happened to her that long ago night would always stay with her. But it was what she had done after that made it all unbearable. How was she supposed to be his wife with so much disgrace following her?
Madeline pulled her hand from his grasp and stared down at his chest, as if she could find the words she needed to send him far away from her.
“Jimmy, I—”
A sharp rap on the door startled her. It was soon followed by Eldridge’s booming voice.
“Miss Madeline? Are you inside?”
His tone indicated something was terribly wrong. She scrambled out of the bed and rushed to the door. She jerked it open and what greeted her left her stunned.
Madeline glanced from Eldridge then to the shotgun in his hand. Standing some distance behind him, were three men she didn’t recognize and Sherry, concern and apprehension pulling at her brows.
“Eldridge, what is all this? What’s going on?”
But the man didn’t answer her. Instead, there was a sudden shift in his expression. Madeline knew then that James had come to stand behind her. Before she could reassure him of James’ presence, Eldridge raised his shotgun.