by TJ Thomas
“Thank goodness for that. But you were saying?”
“You’ve never been anything but a friend to me and I should have remembered that. I can’t believe some of the stuff I said. I was so mad at you and I didn’t have a good reason to be.”
“I never intended to cause any trouble.”
Julie sighed deeply. “I know. When I can think rationally, I know that. You never did like to rock the boat. Even when you ‘came out’ you were calm and had it all planned out. But all this”—Julie stretched out her arms—“I was so angry and hurt and I couldn’t make any sense of it. It was all so…consuming.”
“Maybe perspective matters. I’m glad someone thought I was calm. I was a wreck.”
Julie’s laugh was full of childhood innocence. “You were so serious when you sat us all down to tell us, like we didn’t already know.”
“Well, how was I supposed to know you did? Nobody ever said anything.”
“Mom told us you’d tell us when you were ready. I guess she was right. She’s right a lot. I guess I should have remembered that.”
“Care to elaborate?”
Julie frowned. “I was so mean to her, but she stood her ground. She said to me, ‘I’m getting a chance at something important, and I can’t walk away from it. I love you, but I need to do what’s best for me.’ She was right, but I was so mad at her when she said it. I was being selfish. What had the most weight though was what she said to me at the hospital.”
“What was that?”
“She said, ‘Jo is too important to me to give up. If I can convince her to come back to me, you’re going to have to figure out how to deal with it.’ That made me really start to think. If she was willing to stand up against my foolish ultimatum then clearly I needed to start paying attention.”
Jo’s heart did a little flip when she heard Rhonda’s words. But she was curious. “So, what changed your mind?”
“You two have quite the band of supporters. They were coming at me from all sides. But really what made the difference was seeing how distraught and devastated Mom was while you were laying hurt in a hospital bed.”
“So, I guess I should be thankful for the accident?”
“I don’t know about that. I’m sure I would have come around eventually. I still can’t believe what a mess I made of this.”
“It was rough on Rhonda and me, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”
Julie looked at her and faced her squarely. “I owe you an apology. I acted badly. I hope you can forgive me.”
Jo held out her hand. “Apology accepted.”
Julie took the offered hand and pulled Jo into a heartfelt hug. Jo easily returned the warm embrace.
“There’s just one more thing.”
“What?”
“I need you to know I care a great deal about your mom.”
“Haven’t we covered that already?”
“There’s more.”
“Okay?”
“I’m an affectionate person. When I care about someone I show it in different ways. I hold their hand, or put my hand on their leg when I’m sitting next to them, or hug them, or even kiss them, and it doesn’t matter who else is in the room. I care about your mom, a lot.” Jo looked at Julie. “Are you going to be okay with that? It’s not an easy thing for me to turn off, so normally I wouldn’t ask. But I know you’ve had a hard time with this and I wanted to give you a head’s up.”
Julie considered for a moment and then sighed deeply. “I appreciate it and I’m not going to pretend it will be easy seeing you and Mom together, at first. But that’s my issue to deal with. You shouldn’t change anything for me. It would just make things awkward and wouldn’t help anything.”
“Okay. Are you going to stay for dinner?”
“Another time. I should get home to Ben and the kids.”
“Maybe we should do a girl’s night out soon. Us and Rhonda, Barbara, and Christie, what do you think?”
“I’d like that. It would be nice to have some adult time. And it would be great to really catch up with you. I can’t believe how much time I wasted.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Clearly this whole situation is unusual and you needed time to sort it all out. Nobody is going to fault you for that. We’ll just start over with a clean slate.”
“I would really appreciate that.”
“Let’s go downstairs so you can say good-bye to Rhonda before you leave. I’m glad you stopped by.”
“Me too. Thanks for taking it easy on me.”
“You’re welcome. Of course you know that means I owe you double next time you screw up.”
“That’s a given, my friend.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
The evening of the planned Girl’s Night Out finally arrived. As arranged, Christie, Julie, and Barbara came over to the house. Everyone agreed it didn’t make sense to take more than one car to go out for the evening and Jo volunteered to drive her new SUV. They soon arrived at the sushi restaurant. The hostess sat them quickly and took their drink orders.
Barbara opened the conversation. “What was the most fun place you ever went on vacation? I’ll start. I really enjoyed Austria. There was just something about it that stuck with me.”
“I love Bermuda. It’s where Ben and I went on our honeymoon,” Julie said.
“I think my top so far is Italy,” Jo said.
“It’s Hawaii for me,” Christie said.
When everyone turned to Rhonda, she pondered the question. “I’ve enjoyed a number of places, but I think the most fun I had was when we’d go to the lake when you all were kids.”
Christie said, “That was a lot fun.”
“We should all go out to the lake for a couple of weeks next summer,” Jo commented casually.
She caught the shadow pass across Rhonda’s face. At the first opportunity, she excused herself, claiming she just had to make a quick call she forgot about. She went outside to get some air. She felt like punching the brick wall she was facing. She was frustrated and she needed to get her anger under control before she went back inside. Why couldn’t Rhonda trust she wanted a future with her?
“Jo? Are you okay?”
Jo hadn’t noticed Julie approaching so she looked at her before she could totally control her temper.
“Jo, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Julie. Everything’s fine.”
Julie shook her head. “I think this is the first time in our lives you’ve ever lied to me. Don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. I saw the hurt on your face when there was doubt in Mom’s when you suggested we all go to the lake. Then I come out here and you look like you want to put your fist through a brick wall. Don’t you tell me everything is fine when I can see for myself that is a bald-faced lie!”
Jo scrubbed her hands over her face and ran them through her hair in exasperation. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lied to you, but this is between your mom and me.”
“It’s obvious you two care about each other very much.”
“We do.”
“So why are you hiding out here?”
“Listen, Julie, your mom is having a hard enough time trusting there’s a future for us. I don’t want to shove it down her throat.”
“Maybe you should.”
“What?” Jo asked incredulously.
“Well, you’ve tried talking about it, right?”
“Every way I can think of, but I can’t get her to believe it.”
“So, can I give you a piece of advice?”
Jo smiled wryly. “Only if I don’t have to follow it if I don’t like it.”
Julie nodded. “Fair enough. Stop mitigating your emotions. Let her see your frustration.”
Jo shook her head. “That will just drive her away.”
“I don’t think so. I certainly don’t want to know details, but think about this, when is sex the best? I’ll know you’re lying again if you don’t answer when it’s out of control. When passion takes over and you lose yourse
lves in each other.”
Jo shoved her hands in her pockets. This was not something she wanted to be discussing with Julie. “What’s your point?”
“You’re always so controlled. You keep a tight rein on your emotions. Knowing you, I understand why, but in a way you’re depriving Mom when you don’t let her see what you are truly feeling. I know you think you’re protecting her. You’ve always done that for everyone, but I don’t think Mom wants nor needs your protection. I think she wants you, all of you. When you hide this part of yourself, you are robbing her of knowing you—all the parts of you. I know you’d talk until you’re blue in the face to try to convince Mom you two have a future together. Obviously, it isn’t working. Why don’t you try showing her all of you?”
“I don’t see how that can help.”
“Can it hurt at this point? Let me tell you a little something I learned from my mom recently. She told me sometimes fights make you stronger as a couple. It’s just one more way to figure things out when you’re each passionate about your side of an issue.”
Jo still wasn’t totally convinced. “I’ll think about what you said. Thanks.”
“Any time. I am pulling for you two, I hope you know that.”
“Thanks for that too. We should get back. Rhonda will wonder where we wandered off to.”
The rest of dinner passed with pleasant conversation and good food. After dinner, they walked to the movie theater. Rhonda and Jo held hands. Everyone enjoyed the movie more than expected.
“This was a great idea,” Rhonda said as they exited the theater.
“You’re just saying that because you got your happy ending,” Jo replied.
“Could be, but I still liked it a lot.”
Nobody was ready to go home yet, so Jo suggested they stop for a drink.
Jo sat at a table with Christie, Julie, and Barbara, and watched Rhonda. For the third time tonight, a man had sent Rhonda a drink. Each time, Rhonda politely returned the drink and told them something along the lines of, “Thanks but I’m not interested. I plan to go home with my girlfriend.” Then she walked back to the table and gave Jo a kiss.
“Jo, doesn’t this bother you at all?” Christie asked.
Jo glanced at Christie. “No. If it doesn’t bother Rhonda, why should it bother me? She’s an attractive woman with no ring on her finger. It would surprise me if men, and women, for that matter, didn’t try to hit on her. She looks like she’s having fun, doesn’t she?”
“It does, but I don’t know how you can be so calm.”
“Simple. I know she’s coming home with me. Have you actually watched her talk to these men? She’s not interested in any of them. She’s simply being polite.”
As Rhonda returned to the table, Jo stood and she kissed her.
“Hi, gorgeous, would you like to dance?” Rhonda asked.
“It would be my pleasure. Ladies, please excuse us.”
When Rhonda and Jo returned to the table after their dance, Rhonda and Barbara headed for the restroom. Jo took the opportunity to chat with both Christie and Julie about an idea she had. A little while later, everyone was ready to call it a night.
Once everyone left, Rhonda and Jo went inside. Jo took Rhonda’s coat and hung it in the closet and then her own. “How was your night, sweetheart?” Jo asked.
“Really good. It had been too long since we got together without the kids and had a night of adult conversation.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”
“How about you, Jo? Did you have fun?”
“I did. Catching up with everyone was great. You were quite popular this evening.”
“I hope that didn’t bother you. I wasn’t interested in any of those guys.”
Jo pulled Rhonda to her. “You’re lucky I’m not the jealous type.” When she saw Rhonda was actually concerned, she said, “I’m joking. I know you weren’t into any of those guys. I told your daughters as much tonight. Ask them if you want. I could tell by the way you were talking to them you were just being polite. It looked like you were having fun with it though. Rhonda, you’re a very attractive woman and I imagine people will hit on you most of our lives. It didn’t bother me. I knew you were coming home with me. I don’t ever plan to take that for granted, but I knew it was the truth tonight. So I just enjoyed watching you let them down. Okay?”
“If you say so, but will you promise me something?”
“What’s that?”
“If it ever does bother you, will you let me know?”
“Deal.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Rhonda woke and stretched her whole body. She felt wonderful. She reached for Jo but found the bed beside her empty. She was profoundly disappointed Jo wasn’t there. She looked around for Jo’s things and breathed a little easier when she saw signs of her all around the room. Then she remembered Mike planned to come over early for a run.
She lay back against the pillows pondering her thoughts in the brief moment before she remembered Jo’s morning plans. She would laugh if she weren’t so scared this would all end before she was ready. Would she ever be ready for it to be over? As soon as she asked herself the question, the answer was a big fat no.
Jo was doing all she could to allay her fears, but she had a hard time trusting Jo wanted this relationship as much as she did. She smiled, thinking about their time together. The way Jo looked at her, touched her, and craved her touch. Rhonda got hot just thinking about it. Obviously, Jo wanted her physically; that she did not doubt. And Jo always asked about her day and wanted to hear her thoughts on all sorts of things. Jo hadn’t flinched at any of the family drama and conflict. Why can’t I just trust Jo wants to be here with me?
Rhonda suspected when she could answer this question, it would be easier to believe. Tired of thinking about it all, she pushed herself out of bed and pulled on comfy clothes. She went down to the kitchen and pulled what she needed from the refrigerator and cupboards. She turned on the radio and started singing as she worked.
That’s how Jo found her when she walked into the kitchen a little while later. Every time she heard Rhonda sing, it took her breath away. She watched from across the room. Kona went to her water bowl and drank, and then she settled by Rhonda’s feet. Rhonda turned, looking for Jo.
She smiled shyly. “Hi.”
“Hi, yourself. You have a beautiful voice.”
Rhonda brushed back a tendril of hair from her face.
“I used to listen to you sing and wish you were singing to me.”
Jo caught the wash of emotion cross Rhonda’s face as she turned away. She stopped her. “Rhonda?” Jo stepped to her and pushed the stray hair back from Rhonda’s face and behind her ear. “What is it?”
“I just missed you.” Rhonda pulled Jo close and burrowed her head into her shoulder unfazed that Jo was hot and sweaty from her run.
Jo wasn’t fooled. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Can’t we just forget it?”
“No, but we can table it for now. Only because Mike is upstairs taking a shower and will probably join us for breakfast once he finds out you’re cooking. I’m going to take a quick shower myself, but we will talk about this, whatever it is, later.”
Jo was steamed. As she stepped into the shower, she slapped the wall. “Damn it!” She struggled to get herself under control. She stood under the spray trying to even her breathing. Her frustration wouldn’t help anyone. Rhonda had given her body to her fully. But Rhonda still guarded pieces of herself. If she gave Rhonda time, she would believe deep down. She would wait as long it took. But waiting wasn’t easy. Seeing the doubt creep into Rhonda’s eyes whenever she spoke of their future was hard.
She had been as honest as she could with Rhonda. But at the moment she would like to shake some sense into her. Jo shook her head at the thought, glad she had a few minutes to cool off. She wasn’t going anywhere, and Rhonda was just going to have to get used to it.
*
When Mike walked into the
kitchen, Rhonda was lost in thought. “Mom, are you okay?”
“What?” Rhonda focused. The sound of Mike’s voice brought her back. “Oh hi, honey. Yes, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”
“Anything I can help you with?”
“I appreciate it, but no.”
“Okay. The bacon smells delicious.”
Rhonda was glad she made plenty given Mike’s appetite. “Yes, it does. There will also be pancakes and eggs. How would you like your eggs?”
“Scrambled, please.”
When Jo walked in a few minutes later, there was no indication that anything was wrong. She walked up to Rhonda and hugged her from behind. “Breakfast smells amazing.” Rhonda turned so she could look into Jo’s eyes. The heat she had seen as Jo left the room was gone. It seemed for now the storm had calmed. Jo took the opportunity to kiss her lightly. “How can I help?”
“You can tell me how you’d like your eggs and then take these two plates to the table. I think Mike has taken care of everything else.”
Jo lifted the indicated plates of pancakes and bacon. “Over easy on the eggs, please.”
In minutes, Rhonda had the eggs done and carried them to the table. “How was the run?”
Jo and Mike exchanged a look and said together, “Good.”
“You didn’t push yourself too hard, did you Jo?”
“No we kept it easy today, I don’t have all my stamina back yet, so Mike let me off easy.”
“Good.”
“So, Mike told me he had a date last night and he’s seeing her again today. In fact, he’s been seeing quite a lot of her lately.”
Rhonda picked up her cue. “Oh really?” She drew out the last word. “Do tell.”
Mike laughed at them. “Her name is Sarah. She’s in law school too, second year. She’s smart, cute, and funny. We are meeting later to watch the game.”
“Jamie’s game?” Rhonda asked.
“Yes.”
“She knows your whole family’s going to be there?”
“Yes. When I told her what I was doing this afternoon, she asked if she could tag along.”
“It’s been a long time since you let us meet one of your women, Mike.”