by Lolita Lopez
“Lexi,” her mother said, “are you sleeping with Tom and Frank.”
Lexi barely avoided swerving out of her lane. She glanced at her mother. “What?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not judging.” She held up her hands. “You wouldn’t be the first woman to enjoy a threesome relationship.”
“Mom, I really, really don’t want to discuss my sex life with you. No offense but it’s weird.”
“Lexi, believe me. I don’t want to discuss your sex life either but I think I need to warn you.”
“Mom, honestly, there’s nothing you can say right now that I haven’t already thought of, okay? I didn’t go into this relationship without a lot of serious thought. It’s not just about the sex, I assure you.”
“That’s what worries me, Lexi.” Her mother shifted in her seat. “Listen to me. I know it’s awkward but hear me out. Before you were conceived, your father and I were swingers.”
Lexi gripped the steering wheel even tighter. For some reason, the image of her parents swapping partners with another couple was even worse than the usual image of them cheating on one another with strangers. Probably because swinging entailed voyeurism and shades of cuckolding. “Mom—”
“No, Lexi.” Her mother spoke firmly. “You’re going to listen and learn from my mistakes.”
“Your mistakes?”
“I thought that swinging was something special. It never occurred to me at the time that swinging was your father’s way of indulging his wandering eye with my permission. I’d stupidly assumed it was deeper and more intimate than that.”
“But?”
“But when I became pregnant with you, I was put on bed rest.”
“Yes.” Lexi had heard the tale a thousand times. Her mother’s pregnancy had been especially difficult. She’d gone into pre-term labor and had managed with drugs and strict bed rest to stay pregnant until thirty-five weeks.
“I assumed your father would stay home with me and support me, but, Lexi, I couldn’t have been more wrong. That’s when the cheating started. Your father had gotten a taste of that lifestyle, and suddenly I wasn’t enough.”
She got quiet. Lexi glanced over and saw her mother looking out the window. She caught her mother wiping a tear from her cheek. In that instant, Lexi understood. All these years, it was about betrayal. It was about shattered love and the cruelty.
“When I was healed, I slept with your father’s best friend. I made sure Eddie would catch us. I wanted him to know what it was like.” She laughed bitterly. “But, you know, I don’t even think it fazed him.”
Lexi didn’t know what to say. She kept her gaze fixed on the road and navigated the curves of the small highway.
“The cycle started that night. He’d cheat on me. I’d cheat on him. We’d buy each other gifts or go on vacation and live as husband and wife for a few months. Then he’d wander and I’d get right back at him.” She shrugged. “It’s a joke, really. Our marriage is a complete joke.”
“And Ramon?”
Her mother waved her hand. “He amuses me, but he’s not any more special than the others. I’ll buy him a car or get him started in a business and that will be that.”
Lexi was stunned by her mother’s cold reply. She didn’t particularly like Ramon or even care what happened to him but her mother’s ability to be so callous surprised her.
“Just be careful, Lexi,” her mother warned. “I see the way you look at them, at Tom and Frank. You love them. That’s a dangerous place to be, darling. One wrong move and you’ll be shattered for the rest of your life.”
They finished their drive in silence. Her mother’s warning circled round and round in her head. When she’d entered this unusual relationship with Tom and Frank, she’d known there were risks. Lexi had accepted that her heart could be broken. Irreparably? She’d doubted that in the beginning but now her emotions were so tangled up in the men it seemed a possibility. She’d never in her life loved the way she loved Tom and Frank. It was all-encompassing and real.
Shattered for life? Her mother might be right.
When they reached the house, Lexi parked the car as carefully as she could, making sure to pull in exactly the same way her father always did. Her mother grabbed a canvas tote with her purchases and the smaller box from the barbecue joint. Lexi ended up with the two big boxes.
“I’m going to run upstairs and change,” her mother said as she slid her box onto the kitchen counter. “Shall we eat in an hour?”
Lexi nodded in agreement and her mother disappeared. After she’d stowed the cold items in the fridge and the hot food in the oven on warm, Lexi fixed a glass of iced tea. She sipped the cold drink and became aware of voices from the hallway just off the kitchen. Curious, Lexi entered the butler’s pantry and noticed the door to the wine cellar was cracked just a few inches. Before she could get close enough to eavesdrop, the door opened wide and Allie appeared. She expected to see her father behind Allie but it was Ramon.
“What were you doing down there?” Lexi didn’t like this one bit. It wasn’t just expensive wine down there but also camouflaged safes that held some of the family valuables. Allie and Ramon had no right to be poking around in the cellar.
“Your father gave me the code,” Allie explained. “He wanted me to pick a bottle of champagne for tonight.”
Lexi’s eyes widened as Ramon lifted a bottle. “You’re pregnant. You can’t drink.”
Allie rolled her eyes and laughed. “A few glasses won’t hurt.”
Lexi didn’t push the issue. She didn’t really know enough about the current pregnancy research to say anything else. Maybe drinking was okay now? “Make sure you shut the door firmly behind you. It will mess up the humidity sensors if you don’t.”
Not wanting to spend any more time than necessary with the pair, Lexi returned to the kitchen. She hoped they’d pass right on through but Ramon stopped next to the island. “Where is the champagne bucket?”
Lexi gestured to the butler’s pantry they’d just left. “Bottom cabinet, top shelf.”
“So,” Allie said brightly, “how was your trip into town? You and your mom were gone for quite a while.”
“It was fun. Mom found some things she liked. I made a tentative deal with a new boutique.”
“Oh, for that little jewelry business of yours?”
Lexi fought the urge to tell Allie just how much profit her “little” jewelry business pulled in last year. “Yes.”
“Have you spoken to Tom or Frank yet?”
Lexi frowned. “No. Why?”
“No reason,” Allie replied lightly. “I just wondered if they were the ones who asked you to bring home barbecue.” She picked up one of the empty paper sacks emblazoned with the barbecue joint’s logo.
“No.”
“Oh. Well.” Allie shrugged and smiled. “You found it!”
Ramon returned to the kitchen with the silver bucket in hand. He placed the bucket and champagne on the island. “I’ll chill this when we start dinner. I think it will go great with what we have planned for dessert.”
Lexi got the feeling she was missing something huge. Not wanting to look like a fool—and certain Ramon and Allie had found some way to make her the butt of their joke—she ignored the pair and continued cleaning up the small mess left in the kitchen. They seemed to get it finally. She wasn’t going to take the bait. She caught them grinning at one another as they left the kitchen.
She carried an armload of dishes to the sink. She spotted the cookie sheet in the sink and found a trail of crumbs that led straight to the trash can. Allie. No doubt the other woman had been the one to throw them in the trash.
Annoyed, Lexi slipped on an apron and filled one side of the sink with hot, soapy water. She was scrubbing a cup with a brush when Frank scared her half to death.
“Lexi!”
Jumping, she somehow managed to hold onto the slippery glass. She carefully placed it in the sink and turned to face Frank. “Don’t do that! I could have cut myself
.”
“Sorry.” Abashed, he quickly crossed the kitchen and pulled her into his arms. His display of affection surprised her. His lips were suddenly on hers. They shared a long, heady kiss that left her slightly dizzy.
“Wow.” She stared up at him. “What was that for?”
“I missed you.” He touched their foreheads together. “Did you have fun with your mother?”
She smiled. “You’re the second person to ask me that so far.”
“Did Tom find you first?”
She shook her head. “I had a run-in with Allie and Ramon.”
He stiffened in her arms. “What did they say?”
She found his reaction odd. “Nothing much. They were down in the wine cellar.”
“The wine cellar?” Frank pulled away from her and headed for the door to the butler’s pantry. Before she could ask him what was wrong, Tom appeared in the doorway connected to the dining room.
“You’re home!” He sounded so relieved to see her and crossed the space between them in a few, fast strides. Tom gathered her up against his hard chest and claimed her mouth in a sensual kiss. “I love you, Lexi.”
“I love you, too, Tom,” she replied, a bit bewildered. When Tom lowered her to the floor, she asked, “What’s wrong? Did something happen while I was gone?” She thought about her dad’s stomach problems. “Is Dad okay?”
Frank’s jaw visibly tightened. “He’s fine.”
“Did he say something to you?” She wondered if her father had cottoned onto the truth of their relationship as easily as her mother had. “Did he ask about the three of us sleeping together?”
“No. Why?” Frank looked perturbed as he fixed a glass of iced tea. He took a drink and crunched a couple of ice pebbles between his teeth. “Did you tell him?”
She shook her head. “Of course not. But my mother figured it out and asked me about it point blank on the ride home.”
“What did you say?” Tom chewed his thumb as he usually did when worried.
“I told her the truth. She was surprisingly okay with it but warned me of the risks of this kind of relationship.” Lexi considered what her mother had said. “What happens if I get pregnant?”
Frank choked on his tea. He spluttered noisily until he finally cleared an ice cube from his throat. Tom hurried to his side while Lexi grabbed a clean dishtowel and dabbed at his face. “Are you okay?”
Frank waved her off and stared at her. “Why would you ask something like that right now?”
Lexi reared back at his frustrated tone. “Because it’s a possibility.”
“It’s not.” Tom looked as if he was about to pass out at the very idea of being a father. “We’re all careful. You’re on the Pill.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. The Pill has a failure rate for a reason. It could happen.”
“It’s not going to happen, Lexi.” Frank slashed his hand through the air. “Babies aren’t even on the radar right now. Seriously, that’s the last thing our relationship needs.”
Momentarily at a loss, Lexi glanced from Frank to Tom and back again. “What are you saying? You don’t think I’d be a good mother?”
Frank exhaled loudly. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Look, I don’t want to have this discussion right now.”
“I don’t remember asking you if this is what you wanted to discuss,” Lexi shot back angrily. “This is an equal relationship, Frank. I might let you spank my ass and order me around in the bedroom but outside that door? We’re equals. I want to talk about this.”
“Why? Because you have baby fever off a sudden? Because you’re jealous of your dad’s new girlfriend?”
Lexi’s head snapped back as if she’d been slapped. Frank’s cruel retort was almost worse than a physical hit. Her heart raced and palms grew damp as the ugliness of it all settled into her chest. The images of Frank and Allie playing in the pool danced before her eyes, taunting her with all she’d never be.
“Lexi, Frank didn’t mean that.” Tom stepped forward to comfort her but she lifted her hand to stop him.
“I think he did.” Lexi fixed Frank with an unwavering gaze. “Go ahead, Frank. Say it to my face. Say what you really think. Go ahead,” she prodded meanly. “Tell me how you think I’m fat and plain and boring compared to Allie. Tell me how much you loved playing with her in the pool while I was in here cooking and cleaning and playing the role of housekeeper for everyone.”
“Lexi,” Frank said, his voice filled with remorse. “I didn’t—”
She shook her head. “No. I get it. You’re right, Frank. I’m just a jealous loser.”
“I didn’t say that, Lexi. Now you’re being unfair.”
“I’m unfair? You’re the one who gets to decide what we do and don’t discuss but now I’m the one who is being unfair? Oh, that’s fucking rich, Frank.”
“You know what I think, Lexi? I think you’re really pissed off at your parents but instead of yelling at them, you’re taking it out on me.”
She rolled her eyes at Frank. “Yep. You’re right. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“You know what, Lexi? I don’t need this shit. Not tonight!” Frank threw his arms in the air and stormed out of the kitchen. Lexi couldn’t believe he’d just left like that. Chest aching, she watched him go.
“Lexi,” Tom said in a rush. “What the hell was that? Where is all this baby talk coming from?”
Lexi leaned against the counter for support. “I don’t know.” She wiped a hand down her face. “Mom was talking about where it went south for her and Dad. I just started to wonder if that’s how it’s going to be for us.”
“Lexi, kids are scary, okay?” Tom looked unnaturally pale and shaky as he spoke. “Kids are just…they’re not going to happen, okay? Not for me, at least. I’m not father material.”
“Tom,” she said softly, her heart breaking at the anguish on his face. “I know your father was a bad guy but that doesn’t mean you would be. I’m sure you’ll be a great dad someday.”
“Doubt it,” he said. “But that’s not the issue tonight. We’ve got years to figure that one out.” He took a step closer and gripped the lip of the counter. “Look, Lexi, something happened while you were gone—”
“Lexington!” Her father entered the kitchen like a bull on a rampage. “What the hell is going on down here? What was all that shouting?”
“It’s none of your business, Dad.” She hadn’t spoken to her father so sternly…well, ever. It actually felt a little good to tell him to butt out for once. “Just go back to Allie.”
“Don’t tell me what to do in my own house.” Her father came over and stood toe-to-toe with Tom who dwarfed him. “Did he tell you? Is that what all this is about? Is that why Frank stormed upstairs?”
“Tell me what?” Lexi didn’t like being in the dark. She twisted her hands together, sure whatever she was about to hear was going to upset her greatly.
“It’s not true, Lexi.” Tom shot her a pleading look. “I love you. You have to believe that. I love you.”
“He’s lying, Lexi.” Her father narrowed his gaze. “Frank found Tom trying to seduce Allie in the shower while you were gone.”
“What?” Lexi laughed at the absurdity of it. “Tom and Allie? Please!” She looked at Tom, certain he’d be rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness of it.
But Tom looked stricken. He turned his nervous gaze toward her. “It wasn’t like that, Lexi. I swear. Let me explain.”
Suddenly, it all made sense. The conspiratorial looks between Ramon and Allie. They were laughing at her in their own way. The way Frank seemed so quick to anger. If he’d discovered Tom canoodling with Allie, Frank would have been in a bad mood with a quick temper. And the way Tom had swept into the kitchen and kissed her. He’d known. He’d been trying to butter her up before the news reached her. The smile on her father’s face was even harder to bear. He seemed almost gleeful that he’d been the one to deliver the news.
Her stomach twisted painfully. Sh
e gulped down the ball of despair blocking her throat and blinked away the tears burning her eyes. She held up a hand as her father and Tom both tried to speak. “I can’t.” She shook her head and swallowed hard again. “I’m done. I’m just…I’m done.”
Wordlessly, she spun on her heel, picked up her purse and left the house. She climbed into the driver’s seat of her father’s sports car and fished the keys from her purse. And then she saw it. Someone—Ramon or Allie—had slipped a photograph into her purse. Allie, naked and smiling, was draped over Frank’s bare shoulder. Tom, naked and giving a full frontal shot, was just a few steps behind them.
The reality of the betrayal cut deep. She could barely draw air into her lungs as she put the car in drive and backed out of the garage. Once on the private road, she turned the A/C on blast to cool her hot face and cranked up the volume on the music. She sobbed pitifully as she drove, the tears streaming down her cheeks and spilling onto the apron she still wore. She considered driving straight back to her house but didn’t think she could safely make it the two-and-a-half hours.
No, she’d find a hotel room in the small town closest to the lake house or the town after that. And a liquor store. This was definitely a night that called for crawling into a bottle. If she didn’t drown her sorrows, she might die. The pain was that real. The two men she’d loved and trusted had fucked her over so badly—and with her father’s pregnant girlfriend, at that!
Lexi didn’t know how she would ever face them or her father again. Knowing they were all laughing at her left her so sick she fought the urge to pull over and vomit. Being humiliated and made fun of had always been her biggest fear. To have it done by the two men she loved and her father was almost more than she could take.
When she hit town, Lexi drove down the main road and eyed the various small hotels and motels for vacancy signs. This close to the lake and on a holiday weekend, the pickings were slim. She ended up veering off the main road. Finally, she came across a motel with a blinking vacancy sign. The place looked like it hadn’t had a revamp since the late eighties. The sign proudly proclaimed the fact the rooms had ice cold air conditioning and free cable. No mention of Wi-Fi or the other usual amenities. She didn’t much care about the décor or the lack of luxury. If it was clean, had locks on the doors and a vacancy, she was staying. Besides, the liquor store was right across the street. Convenience didn’t get much better than that.