by Gun Brooke
Spending time with Briar and Caya on a regular basis has made it clear to me they too uphold a force field around some aspects of their family—their parents, for instance. I know they were traditionalists and died when Caya was a little girl, but that’s pretty much it. Caya will sometimes bring her parents up, but it usually doesn’t take long for Briar to change the topic. This, of course, makes me more curious than I’d care to admit.
Briar and I mainly talk about our mutual interests: music, work, and the all-overshadowing riddle of who is behind the white-garnet attacks. It has now been more than ninety days since the last attack, and we are no closer to finding out the truth.
I am due to oversee a cube change this morning, and the last time we attempted the process during magnetar drive it gave us enough problems to make Korrian hide in her office for several days recalculating and running simulations. She and I have worked the specs and reprogrammed most of the sequences now. This time it better work or I’m afraid she will go into seclusion at work for good. This will not get us on Meija’s good side.
**End personal log**
*
“This is exciting,” Briar said where she stood next to Adina in engineering. “Thank you for giving me a visitor’s pass.”
“This is your doing as well. It was your suggestion we move the Gemosians closer to the center cube. Something you know I agree with.” Adina looked at Briar’s now-so-familiar features. Her hair had grown enough for Briar to make an intricate braid that she attached at the nape of her neck. Unruly locks curled around her temples, framing her freckled face. Her curvy, pink mouth smiled contagiously at Adina, who found it irresistible. Briar’s sweet appearance combined with her feisty nature always pulled her in, and it took all of Adina’s self-restraint not to reach out and run a finger along Briar’s jawline. They were friends, even very good friends, but Briar had never signaled she was interested in anything else. Not that Adina would have had enough sensitivity to pick up on such an overture. What she did pick up on was Briar’s invisible wall, erected around her and Caya—even toward a very good friend.
“Thanks. It’s nice of you to give me such credit, but a person can have tons of ideas with no way of executing them.”
“Just as a person can have all the tools in the world and the knowledge to build—only to realize that their creation bears no practicality in the real world. That’s why I love your grounded sense of the universe.”
Briar laughed, and the silvery tone in her voice made the people around her turn to smile at her. “Is that your way of saying we make a good team, Adina?”
The idea of teaming up with Briar in all sorts of ways fluttered through Adina’s brain before she slammed it down, like the palm of a hand killing a beautiful butterfly—with remorse and regret. “We do,” she muttered, her tone stark.
“Hey, don’t be so nervous. I just know you and Korrian nailed it this time.” Briar held on to Adina’s arm, shaking it slightly. “It’s going to work.”
Wondering if Briar had misunderstood deliberately, Adina pulled her reluctant lips into a smile. “I hope so.”
“That’s the spirit.” Korrian joined them with Meija following behind, carrying a basket. “And you need not ask what Meija’s bringing, as she won’t even tell me.”
“That’d be cheating.” Meija grinned. “I might tell Briar, though, as we’re the odd ones out in engineering.”
“Oh, please. You know your way around on this ship better than anyone else,” Korrian said, shaking her head. “I keep asking you for the quickest way to the outer cubes. Ridiculous.”
Adina knew Meija occasionally met condescension from Korrian’s peers, as Korrian was the more famous of the two. Usually, people only underestimated Meija once, as she had a way of putting them in their place without alienating them. Korrian claimed she was the born diplomat, which made Meija laugh and say, “You’re lucky I’m patient and not often in a murderous frame of mind. If I’d been so inclined, we wouldn’t be married. You’d be dealt with once and for all.”
This remark had amused Korrian no end, but Adina also knew there was a hint of truth to it. It was Meija’s doing that they were the successful team behind the Pathfinder cubes. If Korrian had been solely in charge of the project, they’d all be stacked and racked in little boxes instead of having squares, parks, video theaters, markets, shops, and libraries. It was because of Meija that Korrian had come to understand the Oconodians needed to live, not just exist, on this vessel.
“Sir, we’re ready.” A lieutenant saluted Korrian and Adina. “The magnetar-drive dome is stable.”
“Good.” Adina still rechecked the magnetar-drive readings. The way magnetar drive created an invisible force field like a dome around Pathfinder allowed it to travel several times faster than the speed of light in a layer between normal space and sub-space. As long as the dome was intact and magnetar drive was operating normally, they were safe to attempt the maneuver within their bubble of sorts. “All right. Commence separation and remagnetizing on my mark.” Adina glanced at the readings and then turned her focus to the big screen that showed the outer cubes. The Gemosian cube, which sat at the far end, needed to move two levels forward. Once that was done, they would shuffle the other cubes one level in different directions to make room for the Gemosians right next to cube one in the center. If this maneuver worked without problems, they would circulate the cubes on a regular basis, giving all people aboard Pathfinder the opportunity to reside next to the “capital.”
“Mark.” Adina held her breath as the Gemosian cube began to move. It shifted along the narrow magnetic tracks lining all sides of the cube, enabling it to move in any direction. “Looking good. Careful now.” The cube slid effortlessly over to the new level. “Good. Now, initiate the second shift. Mark.” Several levels of cubes moved as if engaged in a slow, beautiful dance. An opening created a new slot for the Gemosian cube, which elegantly moved into position, and the other cubes followed suit. Adina imagined the opening and closing of the jumper-system tunnels. People residing at the borders of their cubes now had new neighbors. Other cubes were now closer to the center cube with its park and access to their elected leaders, including President Tylio.
“That was amazing,” Briar said, her voice low. “And touching, somehow.” She squeezed Adina’s arm. “You and Korrian are a great team as well.”
“We sure are,” Korrian said, her eyes sparkling with delight. “Now, don’t make me beg, Meija. What’s in the damn basket?” She tried to flip the lid open only to have her hand smacked.
“Not so fast, dearest wife.” Meija held the basket out of reach. “I’ll get it. Just give me a sec.” She opened the basket and produced four glasses and a bottle of wine. “I’ve been saving this, and this latest technological success of yours is a great opportunity to make a toast.”
“Only if you give it.” Korrian looked mildly panicked.
“Very well.” Meija poured wine for them and handed out the glasses. “Here’s to your success, Adina and Korrian. Here’s also a toast to you and me, darling, for having loved each other for all these years. And finally, a toast to Adina and Briar, for having just started their journey together.” Meija didn’t seem to notice how Adina flinched or the way Briar blushed fiercely. “To Pathfinder and all of us.”
“All of us,” Adina echoed weakly.
“Eh, yes. Us.” Briar let go of Adina’s arm as if she suddenly realized she’d been holding on to it far too long. Adina missed the warmth of Briar’s hand immediately. What would happen if she asked Briar to put it back? Adina huffed at herself. Briar would feel uncomfortable and it would be the end of their friendship.
Knowing she was being overly dramatic, Adina donned a polite smile and sipped the wine. She knew she was being ridiculous. And she hated it.
*
Briar could sense how stiff Adina was as they made their way to the jumper station outside of engineering. Ever since the successful shift of the cubes and the toast, Adina had acted as
if she was on autopilot. Briar wished, as she did every time she was with Adina, she could let her know she was aware of her feelings.
These last few months Briar had struggled with her capacity for empathy. In the beginning it had been vague, and signals from different people had crisscrossed and blended until they were indistinguishable. Briar was glad she worked among the premature babies since their emotions were so basic and pure. As it turned out, she was more relaxed and refreshed after working a shift at the hospital than going to any of the markets with Caya or riding the jumpers.
Meditation turned out to be the best way to learn how to filter the input from others’ emotions. She learned the technique from the database and practiced sitting cross-legged on her bed with an old-fashioned candle burning on her shelf. Shadows played on the walls and she let her mind follow their erratic pattern, creating order among them. Eventually this practice would quiet all the stampeding feelings whirling in her mind. Briar picked one clear feeling after another, all her own, such as her love for Caya, her pride in her work, and, new and untested, the attraction and deep affection she felt for Adina. This was the biggest of these challenges: to dig deep and learn of her own true feelings only to realize she was falling in love with the most impossible of women, remote and standoffish, though also kind and loyal.
Briar could tell the exact time Adina’s feelings had crystalized in her mind. While having one of their many meals in Briar’s and Caya’s quarters, this time after a long session of meditation on Briar’s part, there it was. As if it was written clearly on the gray matter of Briar’s brain, she knew Adina wanted her. Not only that, she was in love with Briar and struggled with this state every time they were together.
At first, the filled her entire being, but then reality came crashing like a tidal wave. Friendship was one thing. Seeing each other once or twice a week and discussing ship’s business together with their shared interests worked fine. Admitting to love, letting someone into hers and Caya’s world of deceit, did not. She couldn’t inflict their potential disgrace on Adina. Briar could easily picture two scenarios if she and Caya were discovered. First, Adina could have her entire career destroyed, even if she didn’t know. Or second, Adina might find out and feel compelled to shelter their identities out of love—and risk being accused of treachery. She would be stripped of her rank, at best, or tossed out an airlock with Caya and Briar, at worst.
Briar had sometimes wondered if the changers felt blessed or cursed. She never asked Caya, as this was simply not anything you asked a child, and now when Caya was an adult, it seemed too late. At times Caya had expressed loathing for her ability to see future events. Now, Briar was faced with these same feelings, having to pretend that their friendship was enough, when she yearned for Adina to wrap her up in an embrace. She had dreamed of finding this sort of love and indulged in daydreams where she might find personal happiness when Caya was old enough to be on her own. Briar had fantasized about a time when the risk of Caya being a changer could be managed. Instead she would have to put on a happy face, be Adina’s friend, and never let on that she knew about their mutual feelings.
“You look very serious. What’s the matter?” Adina broke into Briar’s reverie. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing. I can tell something’s bothering you.”
So raw still from diving into her own heartache, Briar tried to stall. “I’m—I’m just tired. I’ve pulled double shifts lately to get time off for the presidential dinner.” She shrugged, infusing the right type of uncertainty in her voice. “I worry about what to wear. And about Caya going since she’s been having migraines lately.”
It was all true, even if the clothes situation was a bit exaggerated. Caya had gone through a cluster of migraines, which didn’t bode well. It often happened when something big was imminent. Going to President Tylio’s event was hardly advisable, but neither was declining.
“I hope you’re not asking me for fashion advice. I’m expected to be in my dress uniform.”
“I suppose not. I wish I knew what to wear though. I have enough credits to buy something at one of the stores or at the Gemosian market, but what?” Briar shrugged.
“I can ask my oldest niece, Camindra, if you like. She’s known for her trendsetting style.”
“Thank you.” Relieved they’d moved away from dangerous thoughts and topics, Briar managed a genuine smile. “If she suggests something appropriate and where to get it, I’ll be in her debt.”
“I don’t think she’ll see it that way. She’s very generous and loves everything to do with fashion and beauty.” Adina stepped closer and Briar forgot how to breathe. Struggling hard to block the empathy, she stood her ground even though all she really wanted was to run. Adina stunned her by pushing an errant lock of Briar’s hair behind her ear. “As for the beauty part of her skills, I don’t think you need assistance in that department.”
Groaning inwardly, Briar trembled at the brief touch. Then the comment about beauty…it was too much. She sensed the waves of attraction and affection from Adina wash over her. It was too late. Briar made herself stand absolutely still. If she moved even a little, she would throw herself into Adina’s arms, dangers be damned.
A new jumper arrived at the gate, and the loud whoosh as it came to a stop and opened the doors made it possible for Briar to break the perilous connection. She headed for the closest door and Adina followed. Several people squeezed in between them, which was a relief. Briar took several deep breaths to calm herself. Glancing in Adina’s direction, she flinched. The unadulterated hunger in those amber eyes nearly sent her to her knees despite the distance between them.
Closing her eyes, Briar wondered how she could possibly resolve this dilemma. Not only was it frightful, but what hope could she have for an achievable solution when her stubborn heart wanted to forge on and just commit to love?
Chapter Twelve
**Day 178**
**Presidential Dinner**
**Seclan Hall**
Seclan Hall, named after one of the advance team’s most famous pilots, was sparkling as the computer ran a starlit sky in the tall ceiling. The tables were decked out with porcelain plates brought from Oconodos for occasions such as this presidential dinner. Gold ribbons and silk flowers provided centerpieces on all the tables, and the chairs wore skirts made of golden lace. Soft classical music played over the speakers, and after the dinner, live music would entertain and also provide an opportunity to dance, for those who wanted.
Adina took her seat at the head table after waiting for President Tylio to sit down. As the chief engineer, Adina was third in command of this vessel, from a military standpoint, following Admiral Vayand and his next in command. The president and her cabinet decided on policy and looked at the big picture, but as far as Pathfinder, the vessel, was concerned, Admiral Vayand was her next in command.
President Gassinthea Mila Tylio, their civilian leader who, together with her military advisers and cabinet, was responsible for the Oconodians’ future, sat in the high-back chair at the center of the head table. Members of the Gemosian leadership also sat at the head table. This arrangement sent an important message to both people. If they were to unite as one at the P-105 homeworld, their cooperation would start with the leadership and trickle down from there.
“Commander Vantressa, I am a great admirer of your joint work with Admiral Heigel.” A woman sitting across from Adina leaned forward, her blue eyes sparkling. She wore her blond hair in a tall, intricate hairdo that looked as if it had taken hours at a beauty vendor to create. “I’m Dalanja Bymento.” She looked expectantly at Adina as she spoke her name.
“Yes, I know.” Smiling politely, Adina had to play the political game no matter how she loathed it. “I have met your husband, Interim President Bymento.” The former Gemosian president had perished with so many of his people on Gemosis. In the camp, they had managed to hold what could pass for a democratic election, even if the Loghians did their best to disturb and intervene.
�
��He speaks highly of you,” Dalanja said. “He says if it wasn’t for your self-sacrificing actions at that first white-garnet attack, Pathfinder might not have reached Loghia and we’d still be suffering in those horrendous camps. I can’t tell you what hardship we went through.” Looking distraught, Dalanja lost her glossy and glamorous image for a moment. Instead, shadows dimmed the sparkle in her eyes, and she seemed more human than she had a few moments ago. “But that’s in the past,” she said after a deep breath. “Tonight is about celebrating. A presidential event, no less.”
Charmed despite herself, perhaps because Dalanja had involuntarily revealed the real person behind the glossy surface, Adina chuckled. “No less, indeed. I admit, I’m not much for pomp and circumstance, but in some ways I think this time it’s necessary.”
“Exactly. Show a united front—a togetherness, as it were.” Dalanja beamed. “And as much as your work with the admiral is most exciting, I heard through the rumor mill that you are friends with someone much more enticing.”
“Oh, yes?” Curious, Adina shifted enough for the waiter to fill her glass with some refreshing pink Gemosian sugar-star wine. “To whom are you referring, Madam Bymento?”
“Please, call me Dalanja.” Smiling, the other woman leaned across the table. “I’m talking about Red Angel, of course. She’s a friend of yours, no?”
Her mind swam at the question. There it was again, the moniker pertaining to Briar. “I’m afraid I don’t know who you mean.”