by Gregory Kay
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider it, but I knew how hurt you’d be, and, win or lose, I’d have to live with myself for the rest of my life, knowing I’d intentionally deceived you. I love you – you know that – and I need you and I want you to stay with me, but that’s a decision you’ll have to make yourself, with both eyes open, not because I cheated you into making the one I hope and pray to God you’ll make.”
In other words, he’d thought of her first and put his own desires second, no matter how much it was going to cost him. Fiona knew, beyond a doubt, it was going to cost plenty...for both of them!
What am I going to do? God, there must be some way! I love him! Maybe we can make this work long-distance, but for the life of me, I don’t know how! How do you live only seeing someone you love once ever month or so? I know people do it, but I don't think I'm one of those people!
With those thoughts in mind, she sighed and swore only because she refused to allow herself to cry again, and walked up the concrete sidewalk to the library.
Upon entering, she glanced to the right, and saw a familiar face at a nearby table.
“Allie! I’m surprised to see you here on a school day.”
Jerking her head up, Alison Parks smiled when she saw who it was.
“Oh, hi Miss Pelligatti.”
Shaking her head, the intruder said, “It’s Fiona, remember?” Suddenly she felt the overwhelming urge for a little girl talk. “Can I join you?”
“Sure!” The enthusiasm in her voice was unfeigned, but Fiona couldn't help but notice the girl seemed usually nervous as she hurriedly moved her books to the other side of the table to make room.
“Why are you so jumpy? Are you skipping school or something?”
“Oh, no!” She said it like she would never think of the idea, and, as wholesome as the girl seemed, Fiona supposed she probably wouldn’t have. “I had a dentist appointment this morning. Mom and Dad are both working, and I don’t have a way back up to school, so they arranged it with Luke and I’m waiting for him to give me a ride. I thought I’d just catch up on a little research while I’m here.” Looking around, she added, “Even with all this stuff going on, at least I’m safe here, in public.”
Fiona reached out and laid her fingertips on the back of Alison’s hand, and the girl jerked slightly.
“Then why are you so nervous around me?”
Alison bit her lip and looked away for a moment, her cheeks reddening.
“You’re just so...glamorous, you know?”
Fiona opened both mouth and eyes wide with surprise.
“Glamorous? Me?” Seeing the girl's jerky nod, she shook her head in shock. “No, I don’t know; I don’t know at all! Why in the world would you ever think that?”
Alison waved her free hand helplessly, searching for the words.
“You’re just...I mean, look at you! You’re so pretty, and you have nice clothes and a nice car...”
Fiona grinned wryly, unable to believe it.
“And you’re even prettier and you’re tall like I always wanted to be, your nose isn’t big like mine, and you have the kind of boobs I would literally kill for, so what’s your point?”
“But...you’re a famous reporter! I mean, you work for a big national paper, and you live in New York City! That is just so cool!”
Looking down at the table for a moment, Fiona asked, “Do you really want to know what my life’s like?”
Alison nodded her head like she was trying to make it fall off and turned her hand over to squeeze Fiona’s, holding onto it like she was afraid the reporter would get away.
“Oh please! I’d love to hear about it!”
So Fiona told her. She told her about growing up the youngest of five on a policeman’s salary while living in one of the most expensive cities in the country. She told her about fighting her way through school, and about Sidney, whom she now worked for in exchange for shit wages in the business her own uncle had built. Then, before she could stop herself, she told her about Cliff, both what she had walked in on in New York, and what had happened last night when he’d tried to rape her.
“So you see, kiddo, my life isn’t exactly the bowl of cherries you pictured, is it?”
Oh my God, I sound just like Uncle Pat! Still, looking at it like that, it makes me wonder if it’s even worth going back for...but I have to!
“No,” Alison admitted, hanging her head under the weight of her own shattered illusions, “I guess not.” Suddenly she brightened. “But one good thing has happened to you lately; you met Luke!” Leaning in conspiratorially, she whispered, “I heard in the dentist’s office you stayed with him last night; is that true?” She blushed, but didn’t let that stop her. “None of my business, but...well, I’m just dying to know!”
Fiona could only shake her head.
“Good grief, is nothing a secret around here?”
“Not much,” Alison said with a big smile at having verified the gossip, “and Mom and Dad would be furious at me for saying this, but I am so glad you did, for both of you!” With an even bigger grin, she leaned forward once more. “Do you know how jealous you’ve made half the single women in town, and quite a few of the married ones too, probably? He’s a little old, but even most of the girls in my high school would have gone for him in a heartbeat anyway, if he’d given them half a chance.”
“What is he, the county stud?” Upon hearing that, after her experience with Cliff, she involuntarily started having second thoughts about Luke – well, to be honest, I’ve never stopped. – but Alison’s next words halted them dead in their tracks.
“No, and that’s what’s so weird. I mean...well look at him! He’s so cute and he’s such a hunk, and he’s got a good job, plus he wears a uniform. He’s just hot! Then he’s super nice on top of it all.” She paused, shaking her head as if she had trouble believing it herself. “That man is a catch any woman would be proud to have, and you’re the only one who’s caught him.”
“I’ve only known him for a few days.” The and I’ll only know him for a few more, went unsaid, but definitely not un-felt.
“Yeah, but you’re the only one he’s even gone out with since his wife died.”
It was Fiona’s turn to lean forward and exclaim, “What?” in a loud tone that earned her a dirty look from the librarian. Ignoring it other than to lower her voice to a more acceptable level, Fiona asked, “Are you trying to tell me he’s never dated at all after that?” and Alison shook her head.
“No, not that anybody around here knows of anyway. He’s never even looked at another woman until you came to town. You said you’re not glamorous; well, whatever you are, it must be really special to break through to him.”
Fiona suddenly felt really good about herself; that had been happening a lot since she came down here for some reason. She decided her research could wait a little while, and she smiled.
“Allie, you said you liked Jags; would you like to go for a ride with me while we're waiting for Luke? We can talk a little more privately, about anything you want, and nobody else in town will have any idea what it was we talked about.”
Alison was so happy she was literally bouncing up and down in her seat.
“Oh thank you, Fiona! I’d love to!”
“Then get your books and let’s get out of here for awhile.” Glancing at the frowning librarian, she added, “As much noise as we’re making, they’ll probably throw us out before long anyway.”
Alison giggled and away they went, never noticing the man seated at one of the other tables who abruptly made a cell phone call without bothering to go outside first, much to the librarian’s annoyance.
“Have you got a location?”
“Yes sir. Tracking is locked. The target is on Route 2 proceeding west at an approximate speed of sixty-two miles per hour.”
“Unit Four, they’re heading your direction. Do you copy?”
“Affirmative, One. In place and ready.”
“Good; we’ll give you
a heads-up when she approaches.”
“There’s where it happened, where Luke pulled me over.”
“Are you sorry?” Alison asked her, raising her voice over the roar of the engine and the rushing wind, and Fiona shook her head.
“No, but I know I’m going to be.”
The younger girl raised her eyebrows in consternation, but could make out nothing of her companion’s, whose own eyes were hidden beneath her sunglasses.
“I can’t imagine why.”
“Because I’m going to break his heart – both our hearts – when I go back to New York.”
“Go back?!” Alison exclaimed with astonishment, “You mean you’re going back and leaving him?”
Fiona didn’t miss the shock in her voice, of course, and she also didn’t miss the accusation, or the hint of anger in the girl’s tone.
“I have to. I mean, I guess we’re going to try a long-distance relationship, but...”
“Why? What’s so important back there?”
“It’s my career.”
“And you told me yourself that you hated what your job had become, right?”
“I do, but you don’t understand – “
“Why? Because I’m seventeen? Or because I can’t fathom why anyone would leave a man she loves to go back to a job she hates? Is that worth more than Luke, especially after all he’s done for you?”
She’s being unreasonable, Fiona couldn’t help thinking, and the worst part is that she’s being perfectly reasonable at the same time!
“I told you; it’s my Uncle Pat’s paper,” she explained with a patience she wasn’t at all used to exercising, and what she got in response was a glare; a glare accompanied by real, heartfelt tears that the wind kept snatching away.
“I know you loved him, but your Uncle is dead, Fiona. Luke’s still alive...at least for now.”
Those last words hit her like an unexpected slap across the face.
“What do you mean by that?”
She heard Alison’s breath whooshing out in desperate exasperation even over the road noise.
“You’re not stupid; do I really have to spell it out for you? Ever since his wife died, he’s been a suicide waiting to happen, and everybody in town knows it.”
The reporter couldn’t believe it.
“Look, I know he drinks a little – “
“He drinks a lot,” Alison corrected her, “which might not be that big of a deal, except he always does it alone, sitting there in that empty house by himself with nothing but painful memories and his guns for company. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s going to happen late some night; whether it’s the bottle or the gun he puts to his head, he’s eventually going to pull the trigger on one or the other of them.”
Fiona was horrified; this was something she had never even imagined, let alone considered.
“But why?”
“Because he was a dead man walking, who had nothing left to live for anymore, not until you showed up!”
“He has his career!”
“His career?” She spat out the word like she had a mouthful of shit. “A career is a job, Fiona; it’s a long-term job, but, in the end, that’s all it is. It’s not enough to keep someone alive, I mean, really living! Not someone like Luke, anyway...or like you, if you had enough sense to admit it to yourself!”
That one hit so close to home it stung.
“Now look, you, I don’t – “
“You do actually love him, right? This is not just some fling, or just about the sex?”
“No,” Fiona told her, almost visibly deflating, “it’s not just sex.” She swallowed hard. “Yes, I do love him.”
“Then ask him to come back to New York with you.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Oh, yeah? And why not?”
“He’d hate it. He’d be miserable.”
Alison pursed her lips and nodded in agreement before admitting, “He probably would, but he wouldn’t be half as miserable as he'd be here without you. And, miserable or not, at least he’d be alive, because he’d finally have something worth living for.”
Fiona considered the girl’s words, tried to imagine Luke in the city, and failed completely. It just wouldn’t work, and she said as much.
Alison’s response was to glare at her coldly, and, when it came, her voice was as hard and brittle and sharp as broken glass.
“I hope someday you really understand just what you’re throwing away; God forgive me, but you deserve to understand it! Every last bit of it!” She deliberately crossed her arms, turned her head, and looked away, out the window at the passing countryside. “Please take me to school now.”
Despite Fiona’s attempts to make her understand, Alison stubbornly refused to say another word or to even look in her direction. The reporter was still trying when the blue lights came on and the siren blared behind her.
Glancing in the mirror and seeing it filled with State Police cruiser, she shook her head.
Great! Just freaking great! This day can’t get any worse!
When the two troopers approached the car, one on either side, her first inkling that she might be wrong was when, despite the different uniforms, she recognized them as the same pair of fake game wardens they’d the encounter with in the TNT area. Then she recognized the Tasers in their hands for what they were a split second before the electrodes hit her.
CHAPTER 26
Luke was finally leaving the courthouse, having spent the past hour filling out reports and working things out with his boss. Despite the ostensible peace that now existed between them, he knew good and well the Sheriff was still smarting from the events of the day before, and wouldn’t be forgetting it anytime soon. Pete was one of those men who would admit it when he was wrong, but always took it personally whenever anybody proved it. It would be a long time before their working relationship fully recovered, if it ever did.
Alone in his Jeep, Luke mentally shrugged. He hated that, because he genuinely liked Pete, but he also knew, if he had the chance to go back and do it over again, he would do exactly the same thing.
He grimaced as he glanced at the empty seat beside him, suddenly feeling very alone.
I think I’ll see how Fiona is doing; if nothing else, hearing her voice should make me feel better.
He tried her cell phone and got no answer; then he remembered the library, so he called to see if she was back there yet.
“She’s already been and gone,” the librarian informed him, adding, “Allie Parks was with her; I think they were going for a ride in that sports car of hers.”
Luke had no sooner thanked her and pulled away from the courthouse parking lot when he saw a familiar figure coming up the sidewalk, anger clearly evident in his posture and stride: shoulders hunched, arms stiff and fists clenched, and legs moving with unnatural precision like opening and closing knives.
Bringing the Jeep to a stop beside him, Luke called out, “Johnny! What’s up?”
When Johnny Robinson turned to face him, Luke was startled to see angry tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. Waving his arms stiffly, he said, much too loudly, “Some no-good son of a bitch stole my Camaro!”
“What?” Then realizing traffic was backing up behind him, the deputy told him to get in.
“Is that why you’re walking to school?” Luke asked as he pulled forward even as the teenager settled into the passenger seat
Johnny nodded glumly, and, as soon as he had his seatbelt fastened, the deputy pressed him for more details.
“It was gone this morning; somebody took it right from in front of my house last night!”
“Did anybody see anything?”
The boy shook his head.
“No, and nobody heard anything either. The city police came and took the report, but...” He shrugged helplessly.
“Man, I hate that! Have you called your insurance company?”
“Why? All I’ve got is liability, and if nobody finds the car, I’
m just out.” He swallowed hard. “I know it was a piece of shit, but I really loved that car, you know?”
Luke nodded and blew out his breath in frustrated sympathy before an uneasy feeling began nibbling at the back of his mind.
“Did you see anybody strange in the neighborhood, just driving by or anything?”
“No, not that I noticed...” Suddenly he straightened, sitting bolt-upright in the passenger seat so quickly it made the vinyl squeak. “Hey! You don’t reckon those guys...”
“I don’t know,” Luke told him, although he strongly suspected the boy was absolutely right – his cop instinct knew without question he was right – but it would do no good to say it. If he did, it might end up causing harm to Johnny, because the boy might very well act on it, or, more likely attempt to act on it, and, from what the deputy had seen and what he knew of the people in question, they were coldly professional and would eat him for lunch, and they would get by with it. God only knew what would happen if the unlikely occurred and he did actually manage to beat the hell of one or both of them; federal prison, maybe. Whoever they were, they obviously had some high-level protection.
“Look, you need to talk to the agent anyway; you don’t want any wrecks or anything they might get into with your car to be on your insurance record. Which office is it? I’ll take you over there.”
Luke sat with him in the office while the boy explained what had happened all over again, and fifteen minutes later, they walked back to the Jeep.
Cocking an eyebrow, Luke asked, “You in a hurry to get back to school?” and the question was met with at least a halfway grin.
“Not really; I’ve already missed three classes, and, like I told you, the coach is probably going to run me to death this evening.”
“Good. Alison was off school for a dental appointment too, and she’s out with Fiona at the moment, taking a little joy ride. Why don’t we get up with them, then we'll all grab an early lunch together before I take you all back to class? My treat.”