by Sam Destiny
Tammy giggled and whispered something toward a person who seemingly was in the room with her. Taylor kicked off her shoes and looked up the stairs, wondering if she should go and check out the room Mason had created for her. In her anger, she had refused to go in there, but now, she was curious.
“So checked out the farm yet?” Tammy finally asked.
“Just finished a list with Daniel. He’s really nice. And smart around the farm.”
“And handy. He knows how to repair stuff. And he’s easy on the eyes,” Tammy stated, making Taylor giggle.
“He is,” she agreed, placing her hand on the door to what was now her room.
“While we’re talkin’ about bein’ easy on the eyes … how is Mason?”
Taylor turned her back to the door, sinking to the floor. “I don’t know. I had a few fights with him.”
“Wow, a few? One wasn’t enough, huh?” her sister inquired, and Taylor paused for a long moment.
“It’s either fighting or staring at each other. I don’t know what to do. I can’t look at him without being hurt and angry, lonely and feeling like a failure. He cleaned out Mom and Dad’s old room,” she whispered.
“Someone had to. I couldn’t,” Tammy confessed, and Taylor breathed a laugh.
“Neither could I.”
“How does it look?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, go and look, and tell me all about it,” Tammy ordered softly, and Taylor got up, opening the door. The room was beautiful, and while she still needed to push the furniture back against the wall, it was all she could have ever wished for and more. He even had a single, long-stemmed rose placed next to the bed, only now it looked somewhat sad. Taylor went over and took it from the nightstand.
“Perfect, isn’t it?” Tammy wanted to know in a hushed voice.
“Yes,” Taylor brought out.
“You worry about the money, don’t you?”
“I worry about the future, Tammy, and wonder if maybe all those years I never really knew him.”
There was a long silence on the other end, and then her sister finally sighed. “What the hell did he say?” Taylor sat down on her new bed, wondering where she should start. “Just start somewhere and we’ll take it from there,” Tammy prompted as if she had asked that out loud.
Taylor laughed and then fell in the tale of Mason and her, part … whatever. She already had lost count and didn’t really care.
A week after seeing Taylor last, Mason spent another sleepless night wandering the house as if he was its personal ghost. Lightning suddenly lit up the room, closely followed by thunder and screaming upstairs. Becca’s door flew open, and he met his daughter on the top of the stairs. The girl had her pink PJs on and a black sweater in her hand.
“Taylor!” The cry went through Mason’s bones, and Becca didn’t stop repeating the name, even after Mason had picked her up.
“What’s going on?” His mother came up the stairs, clutching her morning robe closed in front of her chest. Talking over the little girl seemed nearly impossible, so Mason simply shrugged in answer.
“Tay’s scared! Need to ‘tect Tay!”
He sighed, and instead of leaving the house, he went into his daughter’s bedroom. She started kicking her small legs, screaming even louder, if that was possible. Mason’s head threatened to split open with the noise.
He checked the clock on the little girl’s nightstand. It was one a.m.; an impossible time to bring someone to the house of the girl you loved yet turned against you.
“Taylor hates storms!” Becca was protesting more and more, tears falling rapidly.
“Maybe you should take her over,” Stella suggested. “You want to see her, Mase, and this is the perfect excuse.”
Yes, Mason was dying to see her, but she was angry enough without him showing up in the middle of the night. The problem was that the girl in his arms was wailing more and more, no matter how often he shushed and whispered to her. Nothing helped, not even offering chocolates. He assumed that the thunder rattling the windows didn’t exactly help, either. Hesitating just a few seconds longer, he finally grabbed the car keys his mother offered.
Becca instantly calmed down with nothing but small sobs coming from her. She still winced each time she heard thunder, but she’d stopped screaming.
“You don’t need to be scared, baby,” he reasoned, but she just looked at him, her face tear-stained.
“Tay is scared. I’m worried for Tay,” Becca admonished him, and he took a deep breath. With each mile he got closer to the Collins’ farm, his heart beat louder until it was all but drowning out the noise from the rain. He parked as close to the porch as he could, then he grabbed his daughter and ran for the front door. He hesitated, but a warm light spilled through the milk glass in the wood, and that made the decision for him.
He knocked; knowing that while a person downstairs would definitely hear it, he knew it wouldn’t necessarily wake up anyone else who was asleep in the house. It took only a few seconds until Taylor pulled the door open. She was wrapped in a blanket. God, Mason’s heart ached. He wanted to hold her so bad, but he had to tell himself not to reach out.
“Tay! I’ma ‘tect you!” The moment Becca had spotted Taylor, she threw her little body forward, and Michigan instantly reached out, taking the girl from him.
“A thunderstorm came, and she didn’t stop cryin’ until I promised to bring her over so she could protect you.”
Footsteps echoed from the stairs, and Timothy appeared with a baseball bat raised and ready to be used. “Everything okay, Taylor?” he inquired, and Mason felt pride swell in his chest. The little guy was ready to protect his sister, even though she was older, and he most likely wouldn’t ever stand a chance.
“It’s Mason and Becca,” Taylor whispered gently. “Go back to bed.”
Timmy came closer, lowering the bat yet shooting daggers at Mason with his ice-cold stare. Fury dripped from every pore of the boy’s body, and it caught Mason off guard. He’d always gotten along well with the Collins boy.
“If you came here to make her cry again, you can leave right now, buddy!”
Mason’s eyes flew to Taylor’s face, but she looked as shocked as he felt.
“Tim!” she reprimanded, but he just squared his shoulders, trying to look bigger, more intimidating.
“I hear how you cry yourself to sleep each night, Tay, and I hear you and Ash say his name whenever she’s here. I’m not dumb, you know?” her brother pointed out, and while Mason was glad that Taylor and Ashley were mending their friendship, he hated that it happened at his expense.
Anger reared its ugly head. “What?”
Instead of reacting to him, Taylor knelt and placed Becca on her own two feet. “Timmy, can you take Becca to my bed? I’ll be right up,” she promised, and though reluctant, Timmy gripped Rebecca’s hand and led her up the stairs.
Finally, Taylor turned to him again, and Mason was curious for that explanation. “You asked me to go to Ashley for the whole story, Mason, and I did. Despite what you might think, it’s emotional and long. I think it’s the first time Ash really worked through her own issues,” she then explained. She hugged her elbows close, grasping them so tight her knuckles turned white.
“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry. It was supposed to enlighten you,” he growled, and she nodded, her skin pale.
“I realized how much you two have been lying to each other and yourselves. How in the world could you have let it get that far?” She shook her head.
He didn’t know. “We were lost,” he rasped out, and she took a deep breath. It couldn’t be more clear that despite him almost saying the ‘l-word’ and the statement that she was his, they weren’t any closer to being a couple. She was hurt and still mad at him.
“Why are you cryin’ yourself to sleep, Taylor?” he then wanted to know, noticing how her lower lip trembled slightly until she bit it softly.
Slowly, as if worrying that he’d bite, she reached ou
t and cupped his cheek. Mason instantly turned into her touch until she all but ripped out his heart.
“I used to be in love with you for a very long time, Mason,” she whispered, and his head started spinning. “You were right the other day. You and I aren’t who we used to be,” she went on and then pulled her hand away from his face, closing it into a fist as if she tried to hold into something that could not be held.
Mason shook his head, panic seizing every cell in his body. “But that … I mean …”
She stopped him, raising her hand with her palm facing him.
“You were right, Mason,” she repeated.
“You’re still mad at me. I get it, but –”
“We’re okay, Mase. Besides, that bedroom is a dream. Thank you. It’s perfect.” He had noticed that his money was back in his account, plus a little something that supposedly had been for his hard work. He didn’t want the money. He just wanted her to be happy.
“Taylor …”
“Everything’s okay between us,” she promised another time.
Shit was okay between them, but his daughter’s call for Taylor reminded him that it was the middle of the night.
“I’m turning a year older next Saturday. If things are okay with us, you’ll come, right?” Even before she answered, the ‘no’ was clear on her face. He didn’t want to hear it, so he shook his head and then took his eyes off her face. “Forget it. Stella’s gonna drive her to pre-school. I’m gonna be at work. Just have her ready by –”
“I can drive her, Mason. It’s pre-school. They have clothes for her there,” she interrupted. Needing to get away as soon as possible, he just nodded in agreement. God, he needed to leave so he could piece himself back together. Glancing at the ground, he quickly checked for blood. Somehow, he worried that he was bleeding all over the porch from where she had torn his heart out.
Nope, everything was clear because she knew how not to leave a trace.
“Bye, Michigan,” he forced out, still remembering his manners.
“Mason?” she called, but he didn’t turn back as he stiffly walked back to his truck. He couldn’t stand to look at her another second without breaking down completely.
It was rather quiet at the station the next morning, and Mason hated it. It gave him too much time to replay Taylor’s words, trying to find anything that could hint at things not yet being too late for them. He stared at the faded photo in his hand; Taylor was no older than sixteen, blowing hair, eyes closed. Seth, a long-time colleague, joined him.
“God, that woman again?” He groaned, and Mason put the photo back in his wallet.
“She’s back and … my daughter adores her, my mother hopes for her, and each time I see her, it’s wedding bells for me. It looked promising, too, and then, last night, she said she used to be in love with me. What if there aren’t second chances in life? I keep messin’ up with her, we end up fightin’, and she cries herself to sleep. I don’t think there is a chance at anythin’ for us,” he whispered.
Before Seth even managed to comment, Mason’s cell went off.
“Stiles?”
“Your daughter never made it to school this morning,” a woman stated drily, skipping introductions and greetings.
“What?” Mason wanted to know, brow furrowed. “She should be there. I –”
“Nope, never made it. Mr. Stiles, other kids would love and appreciate the spot in our pre-school, so either your daughter shows up tomorrow, or we’ll fill her place. Have a good day.” The line clicked, and Mason stared at his phone, cursing under his breath until dialing a number, waiting impatiently.
“Collins residence?” Taylor sounded cheery, and Mason gritted his teeth.
“Did your house catch fire?”
“Morning to you, too. And no.”
“Did your truck break down?”
“No.” Annoyance crept into her voice.
“You’re sick, right? Close to dying?”
“No on both accounts,” she replied a lot more sober.
“Why the hell isn’t my daughter in school then?”
“She had a tummy ache,” Taylor explained.
“Of course, she did! She didn’t want to leave your house!” He was all but screaming, but too many pent-up emotions just crashed down on him like a wave, making him actually tremble from anger.
“I figured, but since I’m just gonna check fences today, I thought we’d be fine. You’ll get her back tonight. I promise.” Her calm demeanor only pissed him off more, especially because his initial worry about his daughter evaporated into thin air, leaving even more room for the fury to fill.
“She can lose her spot over missing a day without them being informed. Plus, you’re currently teaching her that lyin’ gets rewarded!” He heard doors slam and then birds singing. Taylor must have left the house.
“I’m currently teaching her what it feels like to have a mother,” she snapped.
“You aren’t her mother, Taylor Collins! In fact, you aren’t a mother at all or you’d have considered the consequences. Take her over to Stella right now.”
Her voice was colder than ice once she answered. “I will. Tonight. Bye, Mason.” She hung up without giving him a chance to say more, and he released a string of curse words a sailor would be proud to know.
“You know, that second chance thing you asked me about? Yeah, not gonna happen after that,” Seth pointed out. “What happened?”
“She kept Becca at home because the little girl pretended to have a tummy ache. Taylor stated she was teaching her how it felt to have a mother,” Mason gritted out.
“Hate to break it to you, man. Jacklyn used to do it with Lina all the time. They’d wait until everyone was out of the house and then they’d cuddle up on the sofa and watch Disney movies or braid each other’s hair. To this day, Lina swears those were the best days of her life. To be honest, I still think Jacklyn keeps Lina home sometimes. She’s ten by now.” Seth grinned happily, his eyes having that far-off look a guy only wore when being absolutely in love.
“She’s not her mother.”
“As you made very clear. I hate to tell you, but shouldn’t you be dancin’ with joy right now? Becca doesn’t have a mother who cares about her, and the woman you love wants to spend time with your daughter, ready to fill the spot that so far is a gaping hole. The only thing wrong about this whole thing is how you treated her. I wouldn’t talk to you ever again if I were in her shoes.” Seth shrugged and then got up.
“Maybe you should stop hanging out with women,” Mason grumbled.
“Maybe you should start. And while you’re at it, think about a proper apology for that stunt,” Seth suggested.
“I’m still trying to come up with somethin’ to apologize for the last stunt I pulled,” Mason admitted, worrying his lip with his teeth.
“Clearly, you’ve been an idiot,” his colleague commented, and Mason got up from the chair he had sat on.
“I told her she’s mine, and that I think we need to get to know each other again. She has been gone for so long, and I don’t … I thought we had time, but then, last night she told me she used to be in love with me. I think –”
“You did everythin’ right and still keep going wrong,” Seth finished for him, just arching a brow in a much-saying gesture.
Maybe Seth was right. Mason grabbed his phone again.
“No need to call her back. You’ll end up straight at voicemail,” the other man predicted, and Mason hated that he was actually right. A robotic voice instructed the caller to leave a message after the beep.
“What do I do?”
“Prove to her that she still loves you as much as you love her,” Seth hinted as if that actually was the easiest thing on the planet.
***
Taylor dropped Becca off just as she had promised. Tim was at home, playing computer games, and while she usually preferred to limit his computer hours, she figured that for once, he deserved the time, and she needed a quick break from
life anyway.
As it was, she started missing Becca the moment the door fell closed behind her little body. It was true that she wasn’t Becca’s mother, but for a few precious hours, she almost had been able to pretend otherwise.
She turned on the country station she and Mason had always loved. She knew the song playing by heart because even though she had stayed away from any country up in Michigan, Keith Urban’s Tonight I Wanna Cry had slipped through her armor and entertained her on more than one lonely night. As usual, it was exactly how she felt. She wanted to break down but told herself that it wasn’t going to happen anymore. She was taking care of her own life. She and Ashley had started mending their friendship, and she noticed more than a few cracks in her former best friend’s carefully crafted exterior. Together, they had cried and finally started healing again.
She came to her driveway and checked the clock on the dash. She could leave Timmy alone for a few more minutes, and she wanted to feel a breeze in her face, so she kept driving instead of turning.
She steered the truck toward the lake they used to go to on Halloween or bonfire nights. On her left was a field and a tractor plowing the last strip of earth, heading straight for the side road she was now on. Her station suddenly started to act up, interrupting the songs, and Taylor fiddled with it while keeping one eye on the tractor. They both had almost reached the intersection, and while he came from a side road, she suddenly wasn’t sure he had seen her. In fact, he was supposed to stop, but she saw that he was texting on his cell, the heavy farming machine not slowing down one bit.
Taylor shifted gears to cut back on her own speed, cautiously inching toward the crossroad before intending to fully stop. The next thing she knew, her truck was pushed forward and then hit from the side before everything went black around her.
***