“My boy was growing up nice and strong, with beautiful eyes and high cheekbones. He could have been a football star with his physique, or had his pick of girls at the high school…if I’d let him go.” She winks at me, and I want to poke her in her beastly eye.
“Josiah—I think I told you that was the new sheriff’s name? —started showing up at our house on other afternoons as well. But he wasn’t there for me, not really. Deep down, I knew this. I was getting older.” She shrugs, like we’re discussing a banana bread recipe. “My son was pure, untouched, ripe as an unpicked peach.”
My face contorts with rage. How could she? Whore out her own son? She snorts. “I see the way you’re looking at me. Like I’m some piece of shit. But understand this.” She points a sticky finger right at me. “Javi wanted everything that happened between himself and Josiah. You know how I know?”
I don’t, feeling sick.
She drops what she thinks is a bomb. “He was eighteen. A man. Could’ve left at any time. Yet he stayed and played.” Boom, my mind’s blown.
Self-satisfied, she nods at my confused stare and continues. “Josiah was always putting a hand on Javi’s shoulder, rubbing his arms, running his fingers through Javi’s hair. My boy looked like a dark angel back then—I think I told you that already, right? My mind isn’t as sharp as it once was.” She stops, eyeing me. I nod.
She cocks her head. “Is he still very handsome? I’ve not seen him in, well, I don’t even remember the last time I saw him.” The way she averts her eyes as she says this makes me think she remembers exactly when she last saw him.
My neck feels rusty as I nod, hating where this story is heading. A beautiful boy, willing to do anything just for a kind word from his mother’s poisonous tongue. Must be a happy ending, right? Yeah, I wish.
She continues, satisfied with my nod. “Javi ate up all that male attention. His father was always too busy to pay him much, attention that is. Hell, he didn’t even give me the attention I needed. Just content to drop presents in our lap instead of giving us his time. I often wondered if he had something on the side, a slut tucked away somewhere near his work. Maybe that’s why I acted out. Bedding down anyone who would give me a second look.”
I can see the rusty gears behind those eyes working as she flips through her memories, seeking redemption for her actions. But the past doesn’t change. “Never mind now. He’s long in his grave, and I might as well be. Where was I?” Before I can swallow the bile that’s threatening to come up, she starts again.
“So I was too tied up in my own vanity to be his mother. A glorified wet nurse. That wasn’t me. Instead of maternal love, all I felt towards the fruit of my womb was hateful jealousy. You see, I was destined to be more than a wife and mother.”
I can’t help myself. “What was your destiny? A housebound whore? Did you get paid by these men? Maybe use Javi as your muscle?” A hypocritical nerve ticks in my cheek, but my nasty questions are enough to snatch her off memory lane.
Hate replaces the nostalgia in her eyes. “It’s going to be another thousand if you want to know why the boy is the way he is,” she says in an even tone, before shoving a buttered roll into her mouth, overriding my no-eating rule and chewing as I think.
I’ve got the jist of it. Isn’t that enough? Besides, I’m not sure I can stomach any more of the gory details. Do I really need to? Do I not see where this is going? It’s not meant to end well for Javi. The broken man I know is proof. I could turn off my TV now, keep my money, and Javi’s secrets would remain hidden. From who? Me? Will he ever confide in me without slipping into some crazy-man coma? Yet, I’m afraid of my curiosity killing me if I don’t hear her worst. She continues to chew as I struggle with my inner self, not affected in the least by the war that’s raging in my own head.
Finally, I swipe my credit card through my phone reader, depositing the extra amount in her piggy bank. There’s a noise of dropping coins. She nods, so fucking smug I want to choke her, and continues.
“Javi was such a beautiful young man. Deep blue eyes, always twinkling. Those eyes looked upon me like the sun rose and set just for me, you know?” I do know, because that’s exactly the way he looks at me.
Her expression is wistful as she continues. “Deep black wavy hair with flecks of gold in it from the sun. Tanned skin, muscular, sinewy. So virile.” She holds up a flabby arm, mimes making a muscle, and I watch as the skin sags back down after her feeble exertion. She’s slightly winded as she continues. “And always so cheerful, my boy. Some people, men in particular, see an innocent like my Javi and all they want to do is to ruin him. Crush him!” She snaps her fist shut in front of her, squeezing hard. At this rate, I fear for her heart.
“That was the cop. Each time he would come to the house on some made-up errand or unannounced visit, he had to—and I mean had to—put his hands on Javi. First they were only light caresses, there and gone. I don’t know if Javi even knew what was going on at that point. I’d eye him carefully whenever Josiah was in the room with him, but his face never changed. He never let on that what Josiah was doing was unwanted.”
At this, I bite my tongue. Unwanted? Isn’t that the exact definition of molestation?
“Then the touches became bolder, more suggestive, forcing Javi to notice. His hand would snake out from under the table and caress Javi’s strong thigh while he was made to stand, by me, still as a statue while he served us lunch. I saw it all and maybe even encouraged it a little, I don’t know.” She sighs, throwing her hands up in defeat before continuing. “I don’t like boredom, and our little game eased some of the sameness of my life.
“Whenever Javi was out of the room, Josiah would work me incessantly. Placing gentle kisses along my jawline, feathering kisses along my ear. He’d whisper about thick full lips. Those he’d like to bite, to suck. But he wasn’t talking about my lips. No, he was talking about Javi’s. And I listened, turned on by his vile requests.
“I was an evil woman, just vain and preoccupied with myself.” Her voice drops, like this is a secret only we can share. “I’ve been made to see the error of my ways.” She winks, and her normal grating voice returns. “See, I didn’t really care much for my son. You have to understand that. I tolerated him mostly, and at times outright hated him and plotted his murder in my mind on many occasions. There was a close call or three when he was still in the crib.” She raises her eyebrow and gives a shake of her head before continuing. “I’d only given birth to him to secure his father’s money and loyalty to our marriage. He wanted and needed an heir, which I willingly gave to him, thereby ensuring my grip on the family name and their enormous wealth. Once I had both, Javi just seemed like an annoying gnat that buzzed around the outskirts of my life, always in the background, something I couldn’t kill, just had to endure.” She mimes waving a flying bug away before continuing. “Josiah, the charming devil, wheedled himself into our lives. It must have been uncomfortable for my son. Watching his mother barter away his services on a daily basis, like his virtue was nothing more than a used car. Him, within earshot, and me acting as the high priestess, going around, giving orders— ‘Just a little touch,’ and ‘yes, you can rub his back.’ I was a sick woman, infested with jealousy. Of my own son!”
I don’t believe the single tear that falls from one eye. I’m not Javi, and she can’t fool me into caring. Ignoring her fake cry face, I stare pointedly, waiting for her to continue, which she does when she realizes her poisonous tear means nothing to me.
“It became a mean sort of teasing game Josiah was playing with me, and he knew the exact sore spots to poke at. Betting me that my son didn’t love me enough to do the one thing he wanted most. That I couldn’t get Javi to do exactly what I wanted him to do for me.
“With my pride on the line, I thought, I’ll show him. I’ll get the kid to do it. He’ll do anything for me. Not really thinking of the delicate spirit I was crushing.”
She winks, as if her words are for someone else’s benefit, then resumes
. “Anyway, Josiah promised it would only be a kiss. Just a simple peck to the tip of his penis. See, I never really liked giving blow jobs. Had read somewhere that they gave a woman wrinkles, keeping your mouth like this for so long.” She forms a disgusting “O” with her lips. I nod, unable to remove the disdain from my face.
She titters. “I explained this to Javi in a way he would understand. ‘Do it for momma.’” Her soothing, singsongy voice makes my skin crawl.
“Of course, he didn’t want to at first, but I didn’t let that stop me. I groomed him for it. Asking him to do it for Mother wasn’t enough, though. I started showering him with affection, to which he was unaccustomed. Kisses, hugs. Long seductive back rubs. With my expensive oil, the one Javi thought smelled so pretty on me. He’d wiggle anytime I got close to his tight little ass. Uncomfortable under my too-familiar caresses. This would not work with Josiah. A mean streak ran through him that was better left undisturbed. I’d not want him to have to use his belt on Javi. There would be no way to explain marks like that to his father.” She stares at me. I’m unable to hide my disgust from her. She notices. As if to excuse her abhorrent behavior, she says, “I took a lot of pills then…and drank too much. I wasn’t a good mother. I’ve told you that.”
No, you are the furthest thing from anything good.
She shakes her head, rolls her eyes, but continues, “I’d ignored and berated him for so long, he was so starved for affection by that point, that he actually started warming to my caresses. This made me bold. I’d put whipped cream on my finger, teaching him how to suck the cream off by taking my whole finger into his mouth. It was a game we played. I told him he’d only have to suck as long as there was whipped cream. Just until it was gone. He was nervous. Granted, anyone experiencing something out of their comfort zone would be. He’d suck, wild eyes meeting mine, begging for affirmation as he performed only on me.” She lowers her voice, but I hear her disgusting dialogue loud and clear.
“But as they all do, the fateful day arrived. No money was at stake. Just simple bragging rights. Could I get my son to do anything for me as I’d bragged about on so many occasions to Josiah? Did he love me enough to do this for me? You have to understand, back then this house was the only one on the hill. Very secluded. It was just me and Javi for far too long. He had been homeschooled, had no friends save for me. I made it so I was his entire world.”
“And you betrayed that trust.”
She shrugs with indifference. “Tom-ay-toes, tom-ah-toes. You say ‘betrayed,’ I say ‘used to my advantage.’ I’d say I gave him a choice. Granted, my side was strengthened by medication and wine, ensuring that he would choose the right one. The one that would make Mother extremely happy. Something he’d never been able to do with the cooking and cleaning. But he did try to put up a brave front to the very end, so I knew other interventions were in order.
“I had difficulties with anxiety at the time. Juggling so many men while married tends to fray a person’s nerves. So I took a Xanax occasionally to settle me down, sue me.” This time I return her level glare, not caring one bit for the beast in front of me. A beast that eats her young.
“And these I shared with him. I’d give him a Xanax now and then, just to relax him, and maybe a sip of wine to wash it down. And that is just what I gave him that night. I figured it might be better in the long run if he didn’t remember too much. He took three pills from the pile I held in my hand— ‘happy pills’—and drank from the full glass of wine I handed him, to wash them down. I did tilt the glass ever so slightly, ensuring he got every last drop.
When he became groggy and his eyes glassed over, I had him lie face down on the guest bed, wearing just his boxer shorts. In this very same room. Back then it was a rumpus room with its own entrance, a guest suite…”
“Get back to the story.” Bitch.
“The door to the outside entrance, I left unlocked. I turned the lights down low and began to murmur into Javier’s ear. ‘Mama loves you. Don’t you want to make Mother happy? Do this one little thing. It will just be dessert. Just think of it that way. Just a little dessert. You like dessert, don’t you?’ Over and over while stroking his strong back. I felt the minute the massage, the pills, and the wine all kicked in.
His body went limp beneath my hand, pliable. To test the depths of his sleep, I pulled his white boxer shorts off, slowly, one eye on him the whole time. He stayed asleep, or pretended to, anyway. I stroked and kneaded his firm buttocks. There was no flinching. He was down for the count.
I continued rubbing and coaxing in the dark till I felt Josiah’s lips brush against my bare shoulder. He nipped and kissed along my collarbone, bending low to my front to suckle a nipple. His hot mouth ignited my core. Flames licked at my clit. His pinching and kneading fingers replaced his mouth on me. His lips moved down to Javi’s tight buttocks, placing open-mouthed kisses on first one, then the other.
“I’m impressed by what a good boy you have,” he whispered into the dark. “So obedient. So nice.” His dark hands each grabbed a buttock, spreading them to reveal Javi’s rosebud. “Unclaimed.” I watched, rapt, as his hands held Javi’s bottom open and each thumb stroked across his entrance. The light touches elicited a pucker, almost a kiss from the red bud. I felt my own lips quiver as he leaned down between Javi’s exposed cheeks and kissed back before moving his nose there to nuzzle it.
“I couldn’t pull my eyes away. It was all so forbidden. I continued to stroke Javi’s hair and upper back as Josiah licked at Javi’s core. Rimming the deep red entrance with his tongue. He pushed his thumb into my mouth. ‘Suck,’ he commanded, and I did. His other thumb pushed slowly on Javi’s bud, just enough to get a reflex. When his hole opened to receive, Josiah slid the tip of his thumb in. My boy moved at the intrusion.
“Hush,’ I whispered in his ear, watching mesmerized as Josiah’s thumb slid in and out. Nice and slow.
“It’s just Josiah. He’s giving you a massage. Quiet.’ His face turned to the sound of my voice. I peppered him with sweet kisses on his eyelids, his nose, and his lips. I kissed his neck. Josiah pulled his long cock out of his boxers. It lay heavy on his palm. ‘Do you have the whipped cream?’ my partner in crime whispered.
“I could only nod. Not believing we were really doing this, but excited to get started nonetheless. Josiah knelt between Javi’s muscular thighs, kissing and licking the hole while his thumb continued its rhythm, invading the inside of Javi.
In the dark, I couldn’t see Javi’s eyes, but I heard the grunting he was making. With each dark press of the thumb, his groans were audible. Sensing resistance, I leaned in, close to his ear. “You’ll do this for mommy if you love her.” I could feel the nod of his head.
Josiah removed his thumb, only to replace it with his tongue. Licking the inside of Javi’s stretched hole, he ate with greedy enthusiasm while cupping Javi’s balls. ‘That’s right, baby, push back against my tongue. You taste like brown sugar,’ he growled. I watched Javi flex his hips into the bed, rubbing his own orgasm out onto the coverlet. No matter what my boy says now, he was enjoying himself at our little orgy.” She lowers her chin and glares at me. Again, her words sound like they’re for someone else, and she continues.
“Josiah finished the oral gratification, moved to the side of the bed, beckoning to Javi. Neither of the men even cared that I was there. I felt pushed aside, I have to say.
“It was me who introduced the whipped cream can, spraying a little snowcap on the considerable mushroom head of Josiah’s penis first, before I put a dab on my finger and coaxed my way into the corner of Javi’s mouth.
“‘Remember how I showed you,’” I whispered into his ear as he sucked my finger into his mouth. ‘Harder, suck harder.’ Before he was able to, Josiah nudged me out of the way, smearing the head of his cock against Javi’s lips. Back and forth, more insistent with every sweep. ‘C’mon, Javi. I can do this all day. All you have to do is open, take what I give you. And when the cream’s all gone, you can have a br
eather.’
“Javi nodded at the coarse instructions, and this time, his mouth opened fully. It was sheer bliss watching the large head disappear into Javi’s mouth. I’d won! That was my power right there. I could get my son to do anything. All I had to was ask.
“Josiah watched as the head disappeared behind Javi’s full lips. He rocked gentle-like, testing the waters, before pushing in deeply. A moan escaped his mouth as he threw back his head, thrusting hard, two more times before pulling out completely. ‘That’s a good boy.’ He rubbed Javi’s lips with his rough fingers while motioning for me to spray more of the whipped cream on his shaft. I coated the tip as before, but he shook his head and pointed to a spot halfway down his shaft. I’m not proud of myself, but I did it. I was caught up in the moment.
“While I sprayed the cream on Josiah, I watched Javi suck Josiah’s index finger, to the knuckle, into his mouth. Swirling the digit with his tongue. I was right all along. The looks that passed between the two of them had been real. I hadn’t imagined it!
“This time, Josiah moved to stand, pulling Javi to his knees in front of him. He held Javi’s chin and asked, ‘Are you hungry for more cream, you dirty boy?’
Javi nodded and Josiah slid in carefully. Nice and slow, using the same rhythm his thumb had been using in Javi’s asshole.
As he gently rocked his way in deeper, halfway in, he grabbed the back of Javi’s head. ‘Leave the cream, Maria, and go. This part Javi and I do alone.’
“I did feel a tad left out watching their heated union. I moved from the side of the bed to the door and just lurked there. The slurping noise, the sound of Javi taking the cock, well, let’s just say, I orgasmed in the dark right along with Josiah.
Blue, Light and Dark (Chubby Chasers, Inc. Series Book 2) Page 6