by PJ Fernor
“Circumstantial at best.”
“But… we can get a full warrant.”
“We can get that now if we wanted, Allie,” Ben said. “The crap he pulled with his brother’s SUV was enough…”
“Yeah but this is something, Ben. Catch him off guard. Bring him into the station and throw him into a room. Then we scour that house.”
“Which is full of Jessie…”
“But something has to give.”
“When are you planning on doing this?”
“Right now.”
“Now?”
“Why not? I’m waiting for Lo to get home and then I’m going over there.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Allie, I can’t be there… I…”
“What’s wrong? Is it your father?”
The words just rushed out of my mouth.
Shit.
“Allie…”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ll be fine, Ben. I’ll have someone follow me. I’m not going over there to start a fight.”
“But if you keep going back to Connor and he did this, he’s not going to go down without a fight.”
“I can handle myself,” I said.
“I know you can,” he said. “I’m… I’m sorry, okay?”
“Look, I don’t know where we are with things, Ben, but you take care of your father. Okay? Maybe someday we can talk about everything, but until then, just take care of things. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”
“Allie, please,” he said.
“Sorry.”
The apartment door opened and Lo walked in.
“Hey, Lo just showed up,” I said.
“Please be safe,” Ben said. “Please call. Text. Anything.”
“I will,” I said.
I ended the call and Lo tried to get past me.
“Hey,” I said to her. “I’m leaving. Miss Kesslier has meatballs.”
“Wonderful,” Lo said.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Lo said. “Did…”
“Getting there,” I said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay. I’ll try. Please be safe.”
She repeated Ben’s words and it meant a lot coming from both her and Ben.
I took those words with me as I drove to Connor’s.
And I didn’t call in for someone to meet me.
I didn’t want to show up with a police cruiser in his driveway. I didn’t want to made him mad. And I knew there was a chance this was just another way for Cat to take a swing at him.
Which, if true, I was going to have words with Cat.
Playing emotional chess was one thing and using your daughter was another… but with your daughter missing, you shut up and focus.
I exited my car and walked to the familiar door and knocked.
When the door opened and Connor saw me, the first thing he did was look left and right.
“What the hell is this?”
“Connor, I just want to talk to you about something.”
“Like last time? When you pulled a gun on me? When you made me feel like a criminal…”
“Don’t go down that road with me,” I warned.
“Do you have a warrant? Do I need to call my lawyer?”
“I just want to ask you something. About a key.”
“A key?” Connor asked. “What about a key?”
He kept a straight face.
He looked angry, as always when he saw me.
“A key was found,” I said. “Near where Lucy was found.”
“Lucy? That other girl? What does this have to do with me?”
“I found a key, Connor,” I said. “And I got information that you know about it.”
“About a key? You think a key has something to do with my daughter missing? Or better yet… that I had something to do with it? We’re going back to that again?”
“Then let me show you,” I said.
I took the key out of my pocket and watched Connor’s face when he saw it.
He was quiet. His face like stone.
And his eyes lifted to meet mine.
“That’s the key?” he asked.
“That’s the one. And I was told it was your key.”
Connor nodded. “Okay… let’s find out what that key goes to then.”
My heart raced and I wished Ben was with me.
Connor backed up.
I put my hand to my gun.
I knew I was making a bad decision…
But I felt like I had no choice.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Nothing in the house had changed since the last time I was in it. I told myself that maybe it was a good thing for Connor. Maybe he was holding onto the hope that Jessie was alive and okay. He hadn’t tried to clean up the house and erase her memory. At the same time, he could have just been grieving. Trying his best to keep her memory around.
Either way, it was all the same.
The same messes on the table and counters.
The same pictures and calendar on the fridge.
Connor stood in the kitchen and pointed to the basement door.
“I have go down there to get something,” he said. “Are you going to follow me? Pull your gun on me? Trust me? Arrest me? What’s our end game here, Detective?”
“My end game is the same as yours, Connor. Bring Jessie home. Safe.”
“And being here isn’t going to do that.”
“All because of a key,” Connor said. “Fine. I have a lockbox. I have it down in the basement, under the stairs. It’s black. Do you want to go get it? Or should I?”
“We’ll go down together, Connor,” I said.
Going down the basement with someone you think may have kidnapped his own daughter?
Connor opened the door and turned on the light.
It wasn’t some creepy basement. There was a light at the top of the stairs and plenty of light that flooded throughout.
“It’s a great basement,” Connor said. “Easy to finish. Just never had the time or money to do so. I always wanted my own man cave. But I guess the entire house is sort of that now.”
Our feet thudded against the stairs.
I waited at the bottom as Connor moved to the side of the stairs and reached under. Sure enough, he pulled out a black lockbox.
My heart raced a little bit quicker.
My right hand flirted with my gun.
“Let’s take it upstairs,” I said to Connor.
“Sure,” he said.
He was calm now.
We went back up the stairs and I left the door open and the lights on.
Connor put the lockbox on the counter.
“Now what?” he asked.
I took the key out again. “You can be completely truthful with me, Connor.”
“Truthful? I am. That key doesn’t go to this lockbox. You’re going to want to see it for yourself though. I can tell. So have at it.”
Connor turned the lockbox around.
I tried to stick the key into the lockbox but it wouldn’t fit.
I shut my eyes for a second and felt empty again.
The key didn’t work. The key didn’t even fit.
“I get why Cat said what she said,” Connor said, again, still calm.
I swallowed hard. “And you understand I have to follow every possible lead.”
“I do.”
“You’re calm right now, Connor.”
“I’m sorry to say this, but I’m losing hope,” he said. “My calmness is all I have right now. Do you want me to open the lockbox?”
“Please,” I said.
Connor turned and opened a drawer.
I made a quick move and flipped the key back into my pocket and touched my gun again. A part of me wanted to let my guard down near Connor because it seemed he had been through enough already.
“I bought this thing a long time ago,” he said. “Never thought I would need it for this…”
Connor showed me a key.
“May I?” I asked.
Connor gave me the key. Just to know for sure, I compared his key to the key I found.
Definitely not a match.
I stuck his key into the lockbox and turned.
It worked.
I opened the lid and the first thing I saw was a picture of Jessie’s smiling face.
It was so shocking, I let out a gasp.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Connor asked.
He turned the lockbox back to himself and picked up the glossy five-by-seven picture of his daughter.
His eyes filled with tears.
I knew right then no matter what happened, he wasn’t the one who did anything. At least not on purpose. Sure, he was out on a date, pretending to be someone else. He should have had plans and communicated with his ex-wife to make sure his daughter was home safe, but he didn’t directly do anything to Jessie.
“I had to do this,” Connor said. He wiped the corners of his eyes. “She started to destroy things.”
“Excuse me?”
“Cat did,” Connor said. “When it all fell apart, she started to destroy memories. Pictures. Things Jessie made us. She would drink and get angry. It was like she wanted to erase everything. And it got worse and worse. So one night she left and I went through everything and put it here. Jessie’s first haircut. She got this little certificate for it. Plus the first snip of hair. There are some of her baby teeth. My favorite pictures of me, her, and even all of us. Cat included. Divorce hurts but no matter what, Cat was and always will be a part of my life. Just a much lesser part now… or so I thought.”
I looked down at the lockbox.
Everything Connor had said was true.
There was even a ziplock bag with a leaf in it.
I pointed and Connor smiled.
“We were on a walk when she was two years old,” he said. “And she wanted to see a yellow leaf. It wasn’t even near fall yet. But when she got something in her head… she was like her mother. Stubborn. She’d get that one thought and she wouldn’t let it go.”
Yeah, that sounds like Cat.
Connor laughed. “Now, when you’re two, it’s cute. She complained about it. She kept asking me to find her a yellow leaf. And as her father, I was going to make it happen. Even if I had to take a green leaf and paint the thing yellow. But as we turned the corner on Madison, I swear on my life a yellow leaf just dances through the air to the ground. Right in front of us. She was so happy that day. Of course, being two, she got home, showed Cat, and then left the leaf on the table.”
“And you kept it,” I said.
“Of course I did. I have more stories if you want. But I can’t do this anymore, Detective. Either arrest me or trash my house or… or just leave me alone for good. The next time I hear your voice I want to know what happened to my daughter. I’m ready for whatever that is.”
“I’m so sorry, Connor,” I said. “We are all working to find her. It’s not just here in Sandemor.”
“Of course it’s not,” he said. “It’s everywhere. And just like what happened with the search parties… it’ll fade. Someone else will go missing. Or something tragic will happen. Whoever took her could be… I don’t know… be living in South Africa by now…”
“That’s not likely at all,” I said.
“If you’re done here, Detective, please leave,” Connor said.
He reached into the box and took out a homemade card.
On the front it read HAPPY FAHTERS DAY!
The word father spelled wrong. In such a cute way.
My heart went from racing to aching as I left Connor’s house.
I needed to take him off my list for good.
I got into my car and backed out of the driveway.
Connor had started to refer to his daughter in the past tense. His heart and mind were starting the grieving process of letting her go. Which gave me my answer from earlier.
But I wasn’t ready for that yet.
I never would be ready for it.
Two blocks away from the house, my phone rang.
It was Miss Kesslier.
She never called.
I sat at a red light and answered the call.
“Hey, I’m actually on my way-”
“Allie,” Miss Kesslier’s voice said.
“What’s wrong?”
“Allie, where are you?”
“Sitting at a red light.”
“You better get home right now.”
“What’s wrong?” I yelled into the phone.
“Lo… I can’t find her. She’s… she’s gone. The door was open… and she’s… she’s gone…”
I heard Miss Kesslier’s voice crack.
She was scared.
The light was still red.
I dropped my phone and drove through the light.
Miss Kesslier’s voice echoed through my head.
She’s gone.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Lo was not missing.
That’s what I repeated to myself as I hurried back home to the apartment.
My first temptation was to call Ben. But he was home dealing with his father.
For the first time in a while, I sort of felt alone.
Trying to parent Lo had been hard enough, but now… I felt alone.
Me.
Myself.
I.
Allie Down.
I chased the thoughts to the back of my head as I pulled into my parking spot at home.
Miss Kesslier met me at the apartment door, tears in her eyes.
“What is it?” I asked.
“She’s really just gone, Allie,” she said. “I’m so sorry. I went next door to get the meatballs, okay? That’s all I did. She was in her room. I checked on her. I didn’t just leave without checking.”
“Okay,” I said. “Calm down. She did this before and it was my fault. Let me check the calendar and call her.”
“I called,” she said. “Nothing. Went right to voicemail.”
“What?” I asked.
I gently pushed by Miss Kesslier.
I ran to the kitchen, looked at the fridge.
Nothing.
There was nothing on the magnetic calendar Lo insisted I use. Nothing for days.
My heart wanted to sink but I had to focus.
I went into Lo’s room.
Her school bag was on the floor. Her laptop on the desk.
No sign of her phone though.
Which was maybe a good thing.
I took out my phone and I called her.
Just like Miss Kesslier said - right to voicemail.
I opened my mouth but then ended the call.
No voicemail. No need for one.
I called again. And again.
I slowly became more frantic as the seconds passed.
I opened her laptop.
Password protected.
Not the best time to realize she had a password on her laptop and not the best time to tell myself to tell Lo no more passwords.
I turned around and Miss Kesslier stood in the doorway.
I gasped and jumped.
“Anything?” she asked.
“No,” I said.
Miss Kesslier covered her mouth. “This is… what if…”
“We will find her,” I said.
I realized how it sounded. How fake it sounded.
Did I sound the same to Connor? To Cat?
“What do we do? Call it in?” Miss Kesslier asked.
“Just give me a second to think,” I said. “You saw her here?”
“Of course,” Miss Kesslier said. “You left. I came over. I asked if she was hungry and she said she wasn’t. I sat down on the couch. I was relaxing. Almost felt tired. Heavy. You know? And then I looked at the clock and realized we hadn’t eaten yet. I rushed back to Lo’s room and she was on the bed. On her phone.”
Miss Kesslier covered her mouth.
“What?” I a
sked.
“When I opened the door, she quickly turned her phone off. Is that a sign? A clue?”
“Might be.”
“This is my fault.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “Tell me what happened next.”
My heart pounded inside my chest.
She had to have been texting with a friend.
But… who?
I knew none of her friends numbers. I should have had those. In case of an emergency.
Alex’s voice played in my mind.
Allie, this is what I’ve told you before. You’re too scattered. Too worried about everyone else. You need to worry about yourself. Maybe sometimes you can’t save everyone…
“Lo said she wanted meatballs and smiled.”
“Okay.”
“Then I went back to my apartment. I was there… ten minutes. If that. I came back and-”
“Was the door open?”
“The front door?”
I nodded.
“Yes,” Miss Kesslier said. “It was open. So was Lo’s.”
“And she was gone?” I asked as my heart sank even more.
“Gone,” she said.
“Okay,” I said. “You stay here. If anything happens, call me.”
I ran down the hallway and heard Miss Kesslier thumping behind me.
“I’m so sorry, Allie,” she said. “I let you down. I walked away. What if someone took her?”
I turned my head. “Don’t say that.”
Miss Kesslier swallowed hard.
That was the last thing I needed to hear.
Because… what if…
What if the person who took Jessie was local like I thought? And what if that person knew I was working the case? Maybe finding the key… going back to where Lucy’s body was found… just the investigation alone…
I wiped my forehead.
I tried to take a few deep breaths.
But when I got to the apartment door, I realized I had nothing.
I had nobody.
Sure, I had Miss Kesslier, but she wasn’t…
“Ben,” I whispered.
I had to call him.
He picked up on the fourth ring.
“Allie?” he whispered.
That’s when my throat closed up for a second. My voice crackled. “Lo’s missing… again… and this time I’m scared…”
“What?”
“She was in her room and Miss Kesslier went to get dinner and now she’s gone. And her phone is turned off. I have no idea where she could be. Ben… if I call this in, it’ll cause panic… if she’s just at a friend’s house… or what if someone… but the door was open… the apartment door was open…”