by Karen Rock
“Promise what?”
“Right before, before—” Jared cleared his clogged throat. “He said the family would need a hero after he passed. I promised him I’d be one.”
“Oh. Honey.” His mother’s concerned voice reached right through the phone like a hug. “I’m sorry.”
He rubbed his eyes. “For what?”
“That was a lot to ask of a young man.”
“Seventeen, was that young? Pa said everyone had a role to play. Jack was the enforcer. He’d keep us all in line. James was the protector. He’d never let anything bad happen to us. Me, I was the glue, he said, that kept us together and gave everybody hope, especially given Jesse’s struggles and Justin’s troublemaking.”
“Honey, he gave that speech to all of your brothers.”
“What?”
“It’s true. They told me.”
So much for his father’s request that they keep the conversation between the two of them. “What’d he tell Justin?”
“To watch over his twin.”
“No wonder...” Jared drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, thinking of his troubled younger brother, who’d grown dark and withdrawn after his twin’s death. “That was a lot to ask of Justin.”
“Yes—and of you, too.” He heard the splash of liquid poured into a glass, then the clink of ice cubes.
“He said we all had a responsibility to the family.”
“True. But what about your responsibility to yourself? A poster at my support group says be the hero in your own life story. Not mine. Not your brothers’. Yours.”
Jared stared out the windshield as his truck idled, mulling over her point. Players greeted girlfriends, wives and children. Their exchanged hugs sent a sharp spike of longing through him. No one waited for him. No one to hug. No Amberley.
“I got my spot back, first string.”
“And that was for you?”
He frowned at his mother’s skeptical tone. “No one else is here except me.”
“Not Amberley either.”
His fingers tightened around the phone. “That was her choice.”
“Seems to me you only left her with one to make.”
“We could still be close.”
“You think so? If you saw her again, you’d be fine not holding her hand? Not kissing her? Seeing her with someone else? Maybe Maverick...heard he’s taking a break from rodeo, so he’ll be around more...”
He clenched his jaw, staring out the window, imagining Amberley with another man. “The hell I would...”
“Exactly. The heart’s not a light switch. You can’t turn off emotions that easily.”
He nodded, and his eyes tracked a pair of ducks as they glided over a small pond, then landed, the water rippling behind them in a V. Every morning, he woke with Amberley’s name on his lips, a dream of them together, happy, dissolving in his mind. If anything, his feelings had only grown while apart.
“Except for Jesse, I’ve worried the most about you.”
Jared nearly dropped the phone. “Me? Why?”
“Everything came easily to you, and that’s not a good thing.” Crunching sounded as his mother chewed, then—“Anything worth having is worth fighting for, is worth working hard to earn. You’ve never had to learn that skill, that lesson.”
...until Amberley, he finished silently.
He’d always stuck to casual, short-term relationships because they were easy. He didn’t have to worry they’d fail. A long-distance relationship meant hard work without a guarantee of success—the real reason he’d broken up with Amberley, he suddenly saw. Fear motivated him, not faith. He’d taken the familiar, easy route rather than the unknown road with Amberley, a futile gesture since his heart hadn’t quit her, no matter the distance.
“You said you love Amberley?” his ma asked. “Are you in love with her?”
Memories scrolled though his brain, flash-bang: Amberley, fearless, astride Harley, blindly charging the barrels. Amberley determined, competing in the premier tour tryouts with a new horse on an unfamiliar course. Amberley, considerate, working with the kids on Spirit Ranch. Amberley reaching for him, finding him without her sight by following her heart.
He was blind, not her. She wasn’t blind in the way it mattered.
Her challenges made her precious to him. They revealed her true grit and undaunted heart. Amberley didn’t need him. She only wanted his love. He’d been so wrapped up in seeing what could go wrong between them, how he might fail her, that he’d stopped believing in what could go right. He loved Amberley, not just as a friend, but as a soul mate, a partner for life. She was his destiny. Not football.
“I’m in love with her.”
“Well. What are you waiting for? Go tell her right this minute!”
“I’m still in Denver.” Plus, he had to call his agent and announce his retirement. He wouldn’t waste another minute chasing glory when he’d already found it, right in his arms, every time he held Amberley.
“So is she.”
“What?” He pressed the phone closer to his ear.
“She competed in the final tryouts today.”
His hands shook on the gear as he shifted out of Park. “How?”
“Ella’s calling her through the course. You might be able to make the tail end of it if you hurry.”
“I will. Thanks, Ma. Talk to you later!” He clicked off his phone and gunned the truck.
He wanted to be the hero in Amberley’s life story, and ask her to be the hero in his.
Starting now.
Was he too late?
* * *
“HANK ANDREWS HERE, live, with barrel racing’s own Miracle Rider, Amberley James. Welcome, Amberley.”
“Howdy.” She shot Hank a wide smile, trying not to wince at the slightly condescending nickname. Getting to the final tryouts hadn’t been a miracle, it’d been hard work, dogged determination and grit. Hearing that nickname all day had left her feeling singled out when she’d wanted to simply run the course like any other athlete. At least she’d reached her last interview, to end what had been a long, incredible day. She couldn’t wait to call Jared and...
Her mouth drooped. She’d just secured a temporary spot on the ERA Premier touring team and she still pined for a guy who didn’t love her for who she was. He saw her as a burden, a weight that’d drag him down; she deserved better.
And she’d proved it here today with a second-place finish that caught everyone by surprise, especially her.
“Amberley, you had an outstanding run today for any rider, especially one with your—uh—challenges. I know you’ve talked to a lot of people already today. Going in, you knew the times and that three of the girls had knocked barrels in the mud. How’d that affect you coming out?”
She angled her body toward Hank’s voice, and the boggy ground sucked at her cowboy boots. It’d drizzled nearly nonstop until a half hour ago, leaving the world a shimmering, dangerous place. Petey’s tail thumped reassuringly against her leg.
“I knew it was more crucial than ever to keep Calamity Jane standing. It’s real hard to change your game plan or ride your horse any differently, so I just had faith in her—and myself—that if I did my job and placed her where I needed to that I could keep her standing.”
The wind rustled a nearby tree and sent a shower of droplets spraying on them. Amberley shivered, despite the still-humid night. In the distance, car doors slammed and the last of the day’s attendees called goodbyes to one another.
Who was waiting for her?
Her mother, sure, but that wasn’t whom she really wanted.
“Another challenge today was I noticed this arena doesn’t really have an alley to come out in. How did that affect your horse and just getting her used to charging out fast enough?”
“It’s difficult when you don’t have
a long alley to get tapped off right, but speed’s no problem for Calamity Jane. Every arena is different, and you have to be reactive to the moment and do what you need to do.”
There. No excuses about her eyesight. Just a flat-out answer like any other competitor, and it felt good. For the past half hour, journalists commented about her “overcoming her disability,” being “brave,” how she “suffered from” vision loss, “defied the odds” and, her personal favorite, that she was “inspirational.”
All true sentiments, no doubt, but somehow it sounded more like pity. They meant well and probably didn’t know that people with challenges wanted to be treated like any other competitor. At least Hank seemed more focused on logistics. For the first time tonight, she felt like her old racing self, only better, with a deeper awareness and appreciation of this second chance.
“Calamity Jane’s Ella Parks’s horse. Can you tell us how you came to work together? You two are the dream team.”
Amberley laughed. “Well. That’s appreciated. Ella’s a ten-time world champion, so it’s been an honor working with her. When she heard about my horse’s accident, she offered to help. I’m real lucky to partner with her and Calamity Jane.”
“We were all sorry to hear about Harley’s accident. He’s a real champion. Can you give us an update on his condition?”
Amberley nodded. “Thank you. Harley’s recovering well, and he’s got a new job working with children in an equine therapy program at Spirit Ranch in Carbondale. He’s their champion now.”
“They’re lucky to have him. And I understand you’ve been working there, as well?”
Somewhere in the distance a horse whinnied, followed by the sharp clatter of hooves on metal: an owner loading it into a trailer. Luckily, Ella, with Maverick’s help, had taken Calamity Jane home. Her husband’s work demands kept him from attending, so Maverick, a Loveland through and through for always lending a hand, had stepped in to assist.
“It’s the most fulfilling part of my life,” she vowed, knowing it to be true with everything that she was, everything that she’d become. It’d been great to return to the ring, hearing the applause, the cheers...but somehow it didn’t measure up as it once had; it didn’t satisfy this new part of her that needed to make a difference in others’ lives.
“I’m sure you’ll be sorry to give it up when you begin touring next month.”
“I’ll miss the kids. And Harley. But I’m planning on returning to them once Ella rejoins to the team.”
“Even if another permanent spot opens up?” Hank persisted. “Heard Windy Nelson may be retiring...”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, but right now, my heart is with the kids.”
And Jared, whispered the angel on one side.
He’s one gorgeous cowboy, sighed the devil on the other.
She heard paper crinkling and imagined Hank flipping through his little notebook. “Well, we’re sure happy to have a rider like you competing again. You’re a winner through and through.”
She dipped her head momentarily, then lifted it. She hadn’t run a flawless race today and she didn’t earn the top score, things she would have berated herself for back when she’d only wanted to be number one. Now she saw that giving, not taking, defined winning. Hearing the children’s excited cheers during the closing ceremony meant more than any trophy, any record, any score. “I appreciate that, Hank. Thank you.”
“Any words of advice you’d give to athletes with disabilities who hope to win, too?”
She paused and weighed her words, careful to get this right.
“I think everyone faces obstacles, some are just more obvious than others, so my advice is the same for all athletes. Winning isn’t a number, it’s not a ribbon or trophy. It’s a willingness to go longer, to try harder and give more than anyone else.”
Hank fell silent, then he cleared his throat. “Well. Thanks for that. Now. I understand Jared Cade had been coaching you before Ella...”
She steeled herself to answer as neutrally as possible. “He played an exhibition game today against Houston.”
“You two are real close.” A sly note entered the blogger’s voice. “Shame he couldn’t be here with you.”
“Who says I’m not?”
Amberley’s head snapped around at the deep, familiar baritone.
“Speak of the devil!” crowed Hank. “Didn’t expect to get a double scoop again like last time... Today marked quite a comeback for you, too. Congrats on scoring the winning touchdown.”
“The team did an outstanding job. The players gave it their all, so it was a real group effort. My only regret was not seeing Amberley compete.”
Amberley felt his eyes on her as he spoke, and her blood pumped in a strange rhythm. What was he doing here? Did he really have regrets?
“What can we expect from you this season, Jared?”
“Hank, last time we met, I offered you an exclusive, so here it is—I retired today.”
Amberley’s mouth dropped open. It sounded like he’d had a great game. Why...?
“What motivated your decision?” Hank’s voice rose in excitement at this breaking news.
“I’m hoping to manage Amberley, full-time...” His large hands cradled hers, and his voice lowered. “If she’ll have me and forgive me for being ten times a fool.”
“Why should she do that?” Amberley gasped, uncertain, wanting him back, but only for the right reasons—not if he was doing it out of pity or even for loyalty to their old friendship.
“Because he loves her very much. Believes in her, too, and knows that she’s the strongest, most independent woman he’s ever met, much stronger than him since he can’t live a day without her.”
Everything inside her went still as she processed what he said.
“Lordy, Lord,” she heard Hank exclaim. “My recorder clicked off. Would you mind repeating it?”
“But is he in love with her?” she urged, needing this validation, unwilling to accept anything less. Was he ready to commit and take the first steps into a future together?
Jared released her hands and slid his arms around her waist, eliciting a shivering, heady response. “Head over heels in love. You’re the shoulder I lean on, the person I can turn to, the love of my life, my everything. I don’t want anything else but my other half and my best friend.”
“Why isn’t this recorder working?” Hank grumped.
Overwhelmed, she nestled close and wrapped her arms around his neck. The delicious smell of his spicy aftershave wafted from his warm, smooth skin. “I didn’t want to lose you as a best friend.”
“You never did.”
“But I needed more.”
He reached his hand to her face, brushed his thumb slowly across her cheek, and Amberley’s blood turned into shooting stars. “You have it. Everything that I am is yours because I’m nothing without you, sweetheart. You’re the blue in my sky.”
She grinned, recalling the cheesy Valentine’s Day card he’d given her as a joke when they’d both been single (a frequent occasion for her—a rare one for him). She’d kept it in her nightstand and read it more times than she could count.
“You’re the sprinkles on my sundae,” she quoted from memory.
“You’re the cheese on my chili dog.” The smile in his gruff voice had her insides celebrating like it was Christmas morning. “And the beat of my heart.”
“Now, that sounds serious.”
He rolled his calloused thumb over her lips. “It is.”
“For keeps?”
“Forever.”
Her eyes drifted shut in complete and utter bliss. She’d never known a bond as strong as the one she shared with Jared: someone who truly cared about her, supported her, laughed with her and also happened to be in love with her. At first, the thought of falling for her best friend had paralyzed her with fe
ar. But it’d been worth the risk. She had a best friend and a true love all in one, making her the luckiest girl in the world.
“Ah! There it is,” Hank huffed. “Now. Would you mind repeating that for the record?”
“I don’t mind,” Amberley said, fast. It was her turn to speak her heart, and she wouldn’t miss the opportunity. “I’m so in love with you, Jared Cade. I probably fell for you the moment I spotted you at our first junior rodeo competition. You’ve always been there for me—through the awesome times and the not-so-awesome times, through all my upside-downs and inside-outs, giving me your proud smiles when I achieved and your helping hand when I needed to find my feet, you were the gentle breeze beneath my wings that let me reach every one of my goals. You’re my rock, my biggest fan, my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
“You’ll never have to. Hank,” Jared said without taking his eyes from hers. “I think you’ve got your exclusive.”
“Oh. Ah. Yes. Yes. Thank you and—uh—congratulations,” he said, his voice fading as he hurried off.
“Better?” Jared murmured once they were alone, and then his lips brushed hers in a tender kiss. Chills broke out over her skin and warmth flooded her insides at his sweet onslaught.
“Much better.” She sighed when his mouth slid off hers to trail the length of her jaw and tease the sensitive flesh of her earlobe.
“I chose to be your best friend,” Jared whispered as she kissed his face—just under his eye, not quite on his nose. “But falling in love with you was out of my control. I’ll be here for you from now on, guiding you every step of the way.”
“Um, yeah, but Ella is now my full-time trainer.”
“You’re saying you don’t need me?”
She almost laughed, he looked so crestfallen. “I do because I love you, but not in order to function. You’re my best friend and my fantasy all in one.”
“I like the sound of that,” he growled, then recaptured her lips, slanting them over hers with increased urgency, his broad hand on her back, molding her to his hard frame. He kissed her like she was gravity’s center and he was falling into her, and she kissed him back like it was the end of the world. Her heart writhed as she understood what lay before them.