by Amber Nation
Yeah right, who the fuck was I kidding, I had thought of very little else except her since she made her grand appearance in Brown County.
“What the hell crawled up your ass?" Brock hissed my way as he then proceeded to take a drink from his water.
“I really don’t want to talk about it. I tried to call to get you to change the location or at least cancel my coming here, but someone wouldn’t answer the damn phone."
“Yeah…" He raised his finger pointing it towards my face, “You know, I had a feeling that was what you were trying to call for, which is exactly why I didn’t answer." He said matter of fact. Lowering his hand, he started dragging his fingers through the condensation on his glass. “Tessa thought it’d be great to be a little spy last night and followed you and Sheridan out of the bar and saw you two all over each other. So I wanted to hear about what went on last night."
My brows arched and if my hat wasn’t pulled down so low, you would’ve seen that they reached my hairline. “I call bullshit."
“Alright," he said raising both hands in a mock surrender, “I could really care less that you and Sheridan finally succumbed to the inevitable, but if I came home later without any ounce of gossip to feed to my wife, she might physically combust. Plus it was the only way to get to come here, she caught wind that I was coming to this grease trap. You know how she’s been on my ass about eating healthier." Slapping a hand on his belly, he continued, “Apparently I’m starting to form a gut." I wasn’t about to step into that trap, so I just kept my mouth shut.
“And I’m guessing by the way you keep readjusting your hat lower over your face and the way that Sheridan is ignoring your presence whenever she passes by our table, but is peeking through the window in the kitchen, so you can’t see, that things didn’t go well."
I quickly turned around only to find the small circle window that was on the door to the kitchen completely empty.
My shoulders slumped as I turned back to face Brock, a stony expression darkening my face, I felt truly defeated. “I thought things went well. When I woke up this morning she was back in her own bed asleep and then completely ignored me once she woke up." I wasn’t going to confess to him of my mental freak out. I was supposed to be a man dammit, I didn’t like all of these extra feelings. I continued to wrack my brain at what could have caused her awkward brushoff. She couldn’t be embarrassed because of her reaction to my spanking her, could she? Maybe I’ll never know.
Sheridan
As I stood flush against the cool tile of the kitchen wall with a hand on my chest, my heart was frantically beating against my ribcage at the possibility of getting caught staring after Mike. I realized how ridiculous I looked especially when I glanced up and saw Archie staring at me with one raised eyebrow and his arms crossed with his spatula sticking out. If I wasn’t mentally freaking out about the mess, I was in I would’ve almost laughed at his expression. Archie and serious weren’t really two things that went well together.
I really didn’t want to explain myself and my actions especially to Archie, so I took a defensive stance and said, “I’m taking a break," and quickly exited the restaurant through the backdoor.
Once I was out of the confines of the muggy kitchen, the sultriness outside wasn’t much better but at least I wasn’t in the same occupied space as Mike at the moment. I needed to get my head together because Mike Jameson was definitely clouding my judgment.
I leaned my entire body up against the aluminum of the diner and closed my eyes. I was beginning to wonder if staying in Brown County was even going to be possible after what happened last night. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly wanted it to happen, but feelings got in the way and now it has ruined everything.
After being with Mike last night, I was deliciously spent, I had never known that sex could be so amazing and I could feel so incredibly wanted. I guess what was different is that I was actually wanting to be a part of it. I immediately curled into Mike’s side and was ready for a great night’s sleep being in his embrace. That was until his breathing quickly evened out as he fell into a deep sleep and then he muttered four little words that would any other time make my heart flutter. “I love you, Sheridan." He loved me. Of course, I completely reciprocated those feelings, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us.
I didn’t waste any time slipping from his clutches and from his bed, immediately missing the close, intimate contact with him. I couldn’t allow myself to be happy and sleep with him when we couldn’t be together and make it work, especially because of…
The backdoor to the diner slammed open and Wanda appeared, “Sheridan we are getting pretty crowded in there. Normally I wouldn’t say anything, but you’ve been out here for twenty minutes. I also needed to check to make sure you were alright."
Shit. I couldn’t believe that I was abusing company time while reminiscing of things that could’ve been. “I’m so sorry Wanda, my mind is just elsewhere today. I’ll go in right away." I hurried and bypassed her on my way back in and immediately went to introduce myself to the customer not even sparing a second glance at Mike on my way.
“Welcome to The Diner, can I get you something to drink?" Then I looked up from my notepad and realized that I actually knew who it was. “Maggie?"
She glanced up from her menu and gave me a surprised look before quickly recovering, “Oh my goodness, Sheridan, how are you?"
I couldn’t help the infectious grin that spread across my face at all that had changed in my life, for the better, and most of it was because of Mike. Wasn’t that a kick in the heart?
“I’m doing good, just got my cast off a few weeks ago." Maggie followed my gaze down to my ankle as I pointed my foot and began rotating it around in a circle.
“I had absolutely no clue that you were still in Brown County."
“Yeah, I decided to stay, I’m actually living in Mike’s spare bedroom, but hopefully that won’t be for much longer." My expression turned into one of guilt. Why had we given into each-others desires and ruined everything? Would our friendship ever recover from this? “I’m looking for my own place. And I’ve been working here for about five or six weeks now, I love it. I love being able to work." Just the thought of having a job and my own money put a smile back on my face. I wouldn’t ever have to answer to anyone ever again.
We conversed for a few minutes as I was able in between bringing out her drink and pancakes which basically almost had her eyes rolling in the back of her head over her sheer enjoyment of eating them. If I hadn’t known any better, I would think that she was pregnant.
When she had finally finished her entire plate, I seriously thought that if no one was looking she would’ve licked all of the existing syrup clean from her plate, she walked up to the counter to pay for her meal.
The bell above the door dinged, and he was right on time.
“Good morning, Sheriff," I said to Charlie. He came in just about every morning and ordered the same exact thing, the big breakfast platter to go. Sometimes if I wasn’t too busy I would go ahead and put in his order so it would be ready and waiting for him so he wouldn’t have to spend too long in here.
“Good morning, Sheridan, Maggie," he said while he looked longingly at Maggie, never taking his eyes off of her. Hmm…perhaps she was the reason why he always looked so sad all the time. I really hadn’t known him long, but I could just tell that something just hadn’t seemed right with him lately.
“Hi," Maggie finally croaked out after several seconds of just standing there looking dumbfounded. Then the poor thing started to look sick and she covered her mouth and darted off in the direction of the bathroom. Too many pancakes I suppose, or was she really pregnant?
“Does she come in here often?" Charlie asked. He almost seemed a bit hopeful at the aspect of possibly running into her here again.
I remorsefully shook my head in the negative and said, “No, this is the first time I’ve seen her since my accident."
I ran to the kitchen to get his usual breakfast to g
o and brought it back to him, took his money, and he was out the door with only a solemn look exchanged between us.
Poor guy.
The crowd had diminished quite a bit so I went to the restroom to check and make sure that Maggie was alright. I knew she was a nurse, but it never hurt to lend an open ear, especially when I owed Maggie so much after my accident. I felt sad that I hadn’t ever called Maggie after she visited me while I was still in the hospital following my wreck. Was I so wrapped up in myself and Mike that I couldn’t have taken the time to call Maggie and at least thank her? That wasn’t the type of person that I was and definitely not who I wanted to be.
I lightly knocked on the door to the women’s restroom before I poked my head in, “Are you ok sweetie?" I was truly concerned for her because she looked extremely pained. And I didn’t think it was because she had just finished getting sick.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Is uh…is Charlie still out there?" she stuttered but finally asked.
I pushed open the door and came all the way into the restroom with Maggie. “No, Sheriff Hennings comes in every morning to pick up his breakfast to take it back to the station." I went to get a paper towel and run it underneath the cool water of the faucet before handing it to Maggie so she could cool and wipe down her face. “I remembered you two were together when you helped me after my wreck. Apparently that isn’t the case anymore?"
I didn’t mean to be so forward, but it just made my heart hurt from both of them looking so incredibly sad all of the time. All she could do was shake her head, “no."
“Then that’s why he always looks sad when he comes in. Makes just enough small talk with the customers so they don’t think he’s rude, since he’s new to the badge and all."
Her face seemed to fall even more so after my explanation and I almost regretted giving her so much information to how he always acted. It was absolutely none of my business and here I was putting my nose in it like a nosey Nancy.
We both retreated out of the bathroom and I immediately stopped in my tracks because right in front of me was Mike.
There seemed to be some sort of staring contest happening between the two of us. I wanted so badly to apologize or say something regarding my actions, but I couldn’t muster up enough courage let alone formulate the words that needed to be said.
His expression was first one of pain before it abruptly became extremely heated. I couldn’t help the way mine morphed to end up looking just like his. I wanted him again, but I just couldn’t. I could physically see the lust radiating off of him in waves, and I knew that he wouldn’t be the first person to walk away, so I had to do it. I reverted my gaze to the floor and I skirted around him, not saying a word and went about doing my job.
I walked into a dimly lit house and even Sadie didn’t run up to give me her usual doggie kisses so I assumed her and Mike were out in the tropical oasis, also known as his glorious backyard. Relaxing on his hammock sounded heavenly after the long day I’ve had, but I couldn’t bear to be directly around him right now, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to be either.
Wanda wanted me to work overtime, which normally wouldn’t be a problem, but after the events of last night and today had unfolded I was just mentally exhausted. A long hot shower and bed would be more of my speed for tonight.
I went to the kitchen so I could retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge before I disappeared for the night and I had to stop and gasp by the scene that was before me. I could see Mike in the backyard from out his bay window, but the way he had his head dropped down and cradled in his hands made my heart split in two. I was to blame for his anguish and I hated that more than anything. Last night should have never happened even though I really couldn’t bring myself to regret it, quite the contrary, it’ll be something that I always hold near and dear to my heart. There were just things that Mike didn’t and couldn’t understand, and being kept in the dark about them, for now, was what was best for the both of us.
The shrill sound of my mother’s ringtone startled me out of my longing preoccupation. Opening my phone, I still hadn’t been able to afford to be brought into the new age of smart phone technology, I was extremely lucky enough as it was to have a flip phone, I pressed the answer button, “Hey, mama." I was only able to get out those two words before my mother broke out into hysterics on the other line.
My stomach completely bottomed out and I felt as if the walls were rapidly closing in all around me. I had no idea what was going on yet, but just the sound of her sobbing had me instantly in fear and thrown into a panic attack.
My lungs had seized to bring in any additional oxygen and my heart was racing a mile a minute, but not in the positive way it would whenever I saw Mike. I could hear my mother finally calm down enough to repeat my name over and over, but I couldn’t bring in any air in order to be able to answer her.
I felt extremely weak and it wasn’t long until my legs gave out from underneath me and I fell to the tiled floor of Mike’s kitchen. I was wheezing and I couldn’t even formulate a sound to get Mike’s attention.
I noticed brown fur in front of my face and realized that Sadie must have come in through the doggy door and she vanished as quickly as she appeared. Moments later Mike came rushing into the house, no doubt in a panic after seeing me lying limp on the floor.
“Sheridan," he fell to his knees beside me and quickly enveloped my into his embrace, absolutely no questions asked. He held my back to his front and he whispered softly and soothingly into my ear, “I’ve got you, sweetheart. Everything will be just fine you just need to relax. Take a deep breath in, and now let it out."
After a few minutes, my heart rate and breathing returned back to normal and I noticed that Mike was rubbing his fingertips up and down my arm. I wanted so badly to relax into his embrace and just enjoy being in his arms, but I remembered that my mother was hopefully still waiting on the line.
I dove forward to retrieve my cell phone that had fallen with me to the floor but was still luckily intact, a good thing about the old phones, they were much tougher. “Mama, are you still there?" Hearing her confirmation, I delved right into apologizing, “Oh mama, I’m so sorry."
“Sheridan don’t worry about it," her voice was still cracking as if she was going to break again at any moment. “Sheridan, it’s your dad."
Another gasp left my mouth and I tried my very best to remain calm, it helped that I was still within the confines of Mike’s grasp and he held onto me tightly, while the rest of my mother’s news unfolded.
I hung up the phone after getting all the information on the situation and I was utterly helpless at what I should do.
“What’s going on, sweetheart?" Mike whispered in my ear again sending butterflies flying through my stomach. I didn’t have time to be lustful, I needed to find a way to get to my dad.
I quickly stood up from my position on Mike’s lap and turned around to see him following suit. “My dad is in the hospital, he had a massive heart attack. I have to find a way to get to him."
I was quickly trying to calculate how much it would be to take a cab back home, or better yet, a bus. Being four hours away, a bus would be much cheaper, and that was one thing I didn’t have in abundance to spend, money. But if it was to get to my dad, money would be no object.
I walked towards my bedroom so I could change out of my uniform when I placed my hand on the doorknob to my room, Mike’s hand appeared over the top of mine.
“Sheridan, don’t be silly. I would be more than happy to take you to your dad."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked up at him, but they weren’t for the reasons that Mike was probably thinking. I was absolutely grateful that he volunteered to take me, but I didn’t really know how to explain to him certain aspects of my life.
Mike
Sheridan was seriously worrying me. After she relentlessly tried and then failed at talking me out of taking her to see her father in the hospital, she had completely shut down. Walking in to see her in the middle of a pa
nic attack, it definitely scared the shit out of me. But instantly my paramedic training kicked in and I made her relax and soothingly talked her through it. It was incredibly nice to hold her in my arms once again, even though she wasn’t physically aware of it. It was a stomp on the foot once she darted up off of my lap.
We were now right outside of Atlanta with almost two hours to go. She apparently grew up about four hours east of Brown County in an even smaller town, but now her parents lived even further away from Atlanta.
I almost wondered if she thought that we would run into Pate, but I knew that wouldn’t be a possibility since he lived nowhere near them now.
Sheridan didn’t have much information to go on just that her father had a heart attack and with his underlying heart condition any more abuse on his heart couldn’t be good news.
I spared a glance her way to see her biting her nails again, telling me that she was nervous, but this time she had added a slight rocking motion to where she wasn’t still in her seat.
I couldn’t stand the silent treatment any longer, I pounded my fists on the steering wheel and yelled out the first thing that came to mind. “Why did you leave me last night?"
She stopped her rocking and took her fingers away from her mouth and just stared at me incredulously. She began fidgeting even more as she averted her gaze from mine. And just when I thought that she wasn’t going to say anything, she started explaining. “Listen, I had an incredible time with you last night," I felt a glimmer of hope spark within my chest, until she said the inevitable ending word, “but… I just figured that it would be awkward for us if I had stayed." Shrugging her shoulders as if it wasn’t any big deal.
I knew she was lying, I could just tell by her failure to meet my eyes even for a split second when I sparred a moment to look from the road.