by Andrew Elgin
The speed of it took him by surprise as did the warmth of its body through his tunic. He stood still, his arm held out stiffly, uncertain what to do next. He was concerned that he might injure it if he brought his arm back down to his side. As if reading his mind, the creature moved in its fluid way to encircle his neck, but this time, it left enough of its body suspended in air so that the head could regard Javin. He was surprised at his lack of fear and, oddly, felt rather comforted by the warmth of the creature around his neck. It was only wrapped tightly enough to prevent it falling off. There was no pressure there, just contact.
Squinting at it, Javin fumbled in his satchel to find something to offer it to eat. He offered scraps of cheese, which were rejected, some jerky, which was accepted, and some pok berries, which were also accepted. The creature ate by extending its mouth outwards, again, fluidly, swiftly, and enfolding the food, drawing it back in again. Not so much biting as enfolding. That which it did not like was rejected simply by opening its mouth again. That which it accepted, seemed to disappear into the length of the body.
Having eaten, the little creature finished coiling itself around him, the head ending up nestled in the soft curve under his jaw, for all the world as if it had been trained to do exactly that; maximum contact with minimum discomfort to him. It was, without doubt, a strangeness to have happened. But Javin trusted his feelings and smiled to himself. He decided that, as long as the creature did nothing to threaten him, he would be content to let it reside where it was. If nothing else, it would be an uncritical audience for his singing!
The rest of the day, Javin walked and hummed and whistled his way to Meldren, occasionally reaching up to reassure himself that the creature was still there and to stroke it gently. Over the next two days, the landscape seemed to be changing around him, morning and night. Nothing he could identify, just subtle differences. What he thought he recalled at night was never quite as it looked in the morning.
It was on the fourth day after leaving Luck that he began to wonder how far ahead of him Meldren was by now. There had been the odd sign of her passage; a crumpled stub of a feather, the outline of a large paw print at the edge of a pond. But he was not a good enough tracker to know how old such things were. All he knew was that he was traveling faster than she could have managed, but that there were many, many days to make up.
It was a great surprise, therefore, when, at the end of that day, tired but wishing he could have made even better progress, he found a place to rest and saw definite signs of recent use. Some cold ashes, a few wisps of fur, the distinct markings of gorries' feet, and even a broken wooden bowl; all spoke, even to his slight knowledge, of fairly recent use. His heart leapt at the thought of seeing Meldren soon, but he had no idea how that could even be possible. He had resigned himself to asking after her in Arlen, sure that she would have passed through there long before. But now? Everything was changed by these signs. He was almost too excited to eat, but did so in what was becoming a familiar routine. First, he took off the satchel with a thankful sigh, took out the blade and found and cut some branches for a bed. Then he picked through the remaining food to find which was most in need of being eaten before it went bad. As he did so, the creature unwound from his neck so that he could easily feed it small pieces. They both ate together. Then he took a drink from the water nearby, put on his spare clothes against the night chill and draped some more cut fronds over him. The creature appeared not to be bothered by his lying down, merely shifting enough so that it was not pinched or pressured by Javin's body.
But this night, he could not sleep, and the creature was not responsible for keeping him awake. He was too excited at the evident and unexplainable proximity to Meldren. He lay on his back, gazing at the stars, humming the tunes he had heard all day, wide awake and happy to be so. Finally, in the early part of the morning, or the late part of the night, he decided to start walking. He couldn't wait any longer. His eyes were well-adjusted, and he judged the reward was more than worth any possible risk of stubbed toes or twisted ankle.
He began cautiously but his eagerness to complete his journey soon encouraged him to make haste. The music was louder in his head and he found himself bubbling over with a feeling of joy and anticipation such that he ended up singing out loudly as he went along, with sounds that came to him, syllables that made no sense when strung together, except that, with the music inside him, they did have meaning. But it was a meaning he could only feel, not explain; a feeling that the world and everything in it made sense to him.
He stopped once to eat quickly and to share with the creature before hurrying on. It was late in the afternoon that he breasted a rise and saw before him the broad stretch of the river, and along the recognizable path leading to it was the unmistakable shapes making up Meldren's camp. There were the gorries in a straggly bunch, too loose to be called a herd. There was the wagon and nearby was the mandria. He could just make out the dogs and thought he could almost see her sitting down, but not clearly enough to be sure.
His singing stopped and he began to stumble into a run, trying to lessen the bouncing of his satchel and blanket at the same time as waving and calling. The two dogs, Skort and Fallack as he recalled, had gone on the alert, facing him, tails straight and unmoving, quietly assessing him as a threat.
As he neared the camp, so he slowed. Partly due to being out of breath and partly because he was reminded of what Meldren had said about the dogs. One of them had, sort of, accepted him, but the other one hadn't, she'd said. They were very large. Perhaps prudence was called for...
He still could not make out Meldren there and the dogs were strangely quiet. It all added to the air of unreality. Finding her so quickly, and now this silence. He halted and strained to see her, but could not. She was sleeping, perhaps? Off somewhere else? At Arlen, maybe? He could not guess and did not want to challenge the dogs directly. He called out again. "Meldren? It's me! Javin! I'm here! Is there anything wrong?" He waited anxiously.
He was about to call out again when she appeared from behind the wagon. Walking slowly, with the hood of her cape brought forward so that her face was in shadows, she beckoned him into the camp. He assumed her hood was shielding her from what breeze there was, but was not in the mood to think clearly about it. He was here! She was there! His aching legs were irrelevant as were his sore shoulders.
With a surge of relief, he made his way quickly to her, the dogs merely swiveling their heads as he passed them. She remained standing at the rear of the wagon. His heart was pounding and he knew there was the biggest and silliest grin on his face.
"Meldren! It's so good to see you again. I am so sorry I took so long, but I had an accident. Then I met the people in Luck and they told me about you and I hurried on, and it should have taken so much longer than it did, and I found this little creature." He realized he was babbling at her. And she stopped him with a brief gesture.
"I see you have found one of them." She pointed at his throat where the lithe being had unwound itself, as if waiting for food. She threw back her hood and smiled at him, dreamily almost. "I have one as well." She drew his attention to her throat where the twin of his was nestling.
Something was different about Meldren. Javin knew it, but could not define it. She was there, in front of him, yet seemed remote, distant in some fashion. "I think we need to meet again." The words she spoke were strange and out of place. And then, two things happened in quick succession. First, Javin realized that Meldren's eyes should have been blue, but they were dark, almost black. And, as he was about to point that out to her, so the creature around his neck lunged and bit him on the neck. It was too quick for him to do anything other than register the sharp pain and his own shock before he crumpled into unconsciousness; ankles, knees, hips, shoulders and neck folded him down onto the ground.
Chapter Twenty-Five
He was in a place between consciousness and unconsciousness: able to see, but with more than just his eyes, which could not focus. He knew that Meldren
was beside him, even though some very tiny and persistent part of him knew it wasn't Meldren. He was on his back. She was next to him. She rolled her head to look at him and he tried to look at her. And suddenly, he knew she was not his Meldren at all. He shut his eyes again.
She was, somehow, Harmony Herself. Here, with him, with them both. It was impossible and ridiculous but it was true and real. And he was not frightened. He did not worry. He had already had a taste of this wonder back at the cave.
This time, the music entered more swiftly, engulfing him more completely, if that were possible. The same boundless vision of the planet was there with its breathtaking intricacy. But, this time, it did not end there. Javin, or his perception of himself, or Harmony's perception of him, moved swiftly upwards, leaving the planet dwindling behind. He was moving outward, into the space beyond Harmony. No longer within the world, he was moving beyond it.
As he did so, he felt or heard or touched another level of music. This was not like anything he had so far sensed. If what he had seen first of Harmony was one small aspect, then this was another, grander view, like changing from studying a pebble to seeing the mountain it was part of. It grew from within the existing sound of Harmony. And, as it grew, so it lifted him further, to the source of this majestic, intricate and consuming sound. As he was moving, so he realized that what he had been aware of, the harmony of the planet in all Her glory, was no more than a sub-theme of this grandeur he was approaching.
Around him was nothing, or everything. A vastness whose distance made vision useless. but it was filled, filled with so much emotion, so much energy. Behind him, if that made any sense, was Harmony, singing Her song, tying Javin to Her with the notes and choruses he had been listening to. Ahead, or in a place he had not yet seen, the source of all sound was drawing him. Pure awareness alone made up Javin's existence and that awareness doubled and re-doubled until he was filled and stretched and a million miles tall and squeezed to a point all at the same time. He could take no more. It was too much. And still he was being drawn on and on. He felt he could die, would die here and it was fine, it was right. His death would just add one more note, one more tiny, minute sound to everything. But that note, made up itself of smaller notes, rhythms, echoes and sounds, would be his. Death was not to be feared, for it would add to the grandeur of everything.
Just as he was about to surrender himself to the music and become a formless sound, so the source, the origin of it all, made itself known. Blinding brightness reached to engulf him, accept him. He opened his mouth to sing the simple song of his life, offer it to the composer and conductor, giving it as the only thing truly his to give, back to the place of his birth. And, with that moment of intended surrender, everything became black and still and, worse, silent. Then there was nothing at all; the nothing of his own emptiness once more.
In that intense loneliness, Javin moved, became aware of his body again. Time was not part of that awareness.
He cried out, both at the pain of being left here and at the physical agony which followed that awareness. His head felt on fire from the inside. Scrunching his eyes against the light, he sought to turn his head but could not stifle the whimper it caused. Everything hurt beyond belief. He retched and felt moisture on his chin but could not move to wipe it away. The taste of bile in his mouth did not diminish. He wanted to fall into the blackness again, become unconscious, leave the pain behind, but he couldn't. Breathing in shallow gasps, he wanted to die, or at least to fall again into that blissful unconsciousness.
How long he lay there, he had no idea. At some time, with no way of knowing when, he was able to realize that he could feel something beyond him, beyond the agony. There were drops of coolness on his skin which did not burn or lacerate him. Raindrops. Rain fell upon him, some drops finding his mouth, moistening his lips, from where he licked it, took it within. Slowly, he was bathed from head to foot in cool, soothing water from the skies, washing away, dulling the pain until he finally could move without retching, breathe without flinching.
At some point, he was able to roll over and bring his knees up, his back now being washed. He saw Meldren nearby. She was sleeping, but under the wagon. He managed to crawl toward her and flopped down. Now he wanted to sleep because he was tired, not because he wanted to escape the pain.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Recovery was slow and was a head full of pulsing needles of pain the next morning, for both of them. The clouds remained, but the rain had stopped and there was now a gentle breeze, almost refreshing, but it whispered of rain in the future. They sat in silence, acknowledging the need for it with squinted eyes and deep breaths. Gradually, it became thinkable to speak.
Javin pointed at his neck. "Where did you get yours?"
Meldren half turned and fumbled around in the wagon. "I don't know. I woke up with it. And, the strange thing is, it doesn't feel surprising. Which, in itself, is a surprise." She turned back with a cloth in her hand. "What are they?" She wrinkled her brow. "Shouldn't we at least be a little more curious about them? A little more surprised? I've never heard of such creatures. I've never seen one before, let alone two. And here they are wrapped around our necks. For all we know, they could strangle us now and we couldn't stop them."
"Mine bit me. Knocked me unconscious." He explored the tender area of the bite with his fingertips. "Does yours bite?"
"Who knows?" She poured some water out into a bowl, and then paused as she thought about it more. "What worries me more is that I'm not worried about it. Should I be?"
Javin shrugged. "I found mine in a tree. But, generally speaking, in terms of strangeness, compared to what happened to us last night, no, not strange enough to worry about." He shifted his position slightly. "I really don't think I like this." He rubbed his temples gingerly. "Really. Everyone who knows about us has said what a wonderful honor it is. They have no idea!"
Meldren had dipped a cloth in the bowl beside her and was holding it over her eyes. "It wasn't like this before."
"No. It wasn't. This time, there was more to it. More going on."
She removed the cloth to glare. "What do you mean? That's not how it was for me! Just like last time, I don't remember anything. Not a thing! And you talk about not liking it! I meant that this is just more painful. What happened to you, then?"
Javin gestured helplessly. "I wasn't that good at explaining things the first time. And this? Well, it's just as difficult to explain. I'm not trying to be awkward, but I really don't know how to say it." He was silent for a moment, trying to marshal his thoughts. "Put it like this. If the first time was about how everything on Harmony is connected and it's all made up of songs, then, this time, it was about how Harmony is only part of something much bigger which is also made up of songs." He smiled apologetically. "It's all about songs. Everything. It's all songs." He sighed. "Which sounds really simple and stupid when I say it out loud. And it doesn't make much sense if I said that even the sky was a song, or part of one. Which it is. Or that that river is a song. Which it is. The water and the stuff growing in it? Songs. The water is just the way we see the song, that's all. Sorry, I can't tell you better than that."
Acknowledging the inadequacy of his own words, he tried again. "It's like the difference between singing a song and hearing one. If I hear a song, it can change my mood. Make me happy or sad or something else. But, if I sing it myself, then I'm making those emotions happen to others, assuming I can sing in a way which doesn't upset people. Well, that's the sort of thing about Harmony's songs. She sings songs which make things happen. We hear them and we are changed by them, see things, experience things, all because of Her songs."
Meldren wrinkled her nose at him, soaking the cloth again. "At least you got to remember. I never did have anything to remember."
There was something about remembering that nagged at Javin. Something he was going to say. He closed his eyes in an effort to recall what it was.
Meldren applied the cloth again, but this time to the back of her nec
k, gently twisting and turning her head to loosen the muscles as she did so. "All that happened to me was that, one moment there I was, settling down for the night and the next I was waking up in a different place under this wagon. In between? Pfffft!"
The 'something' was wriggling nearer the surface in Javin's mind. "So you don't remember meeting me last night?"
Meldren stopped and looked at him, sadly shaking her head. And that's when he remembered. "You have blue eyes! That's what it was. You have blue eyes!"
"Yes, and what of it?"
"But last night, they weren't blue! They were dark. Almost black? Maybe a really, really dark brown? But most definitely not blue." He grinned. "That's how I'll be able to tell. When you're you, you're blue. When you're Her, you're dark! Can't be any other explanation."
"My eyes changed color? Are you serious?"
"Oh, read my colors, girl! Am I lying? No! Think about it! Well, except you can't because.... Anyway, last night, I couldn't see your eyes because your hood was over your face, right until the end, when my little beast bit me. And the first time? Back at the cave? It was dark. Nighttime. I couldn't see your eyes if I wanted to. But if I had, I'm sure they would have been dark. Don't you see? It's an easy way of telling if I'm talking to Harmony or to you?"
Meldren was thinking about something else. "Last night?" She shook her head. "Can't have been. Last night I was in a different campsite, back along the track. I was going to wait there a few days. Close to the river, but not very close. Not as close as this." She looked around, puzzled. "But I'm here. How? And why didn't I notice it first thing?" She sat back, a baffled look on her face. "Something very strange is going on. Very."