by Kim Karr
The word rings in my ear.
Anything.
Sabotage?
Murder?
When I stand up, so does she. “I meant what I said earlier, Charlotte, I’m so sorry for who I was back then. I know that isn’t nearly enough, and I don’t expect that you will ever be able to forgive me, but if someday, you think you might, I’ll be here.”
I can’t even call her mom. I can’t call her anything. And I can’t say I accept her apology because she’s right, it’s not nearly enough. So I nod and as I turn to leave, I pause and then reach for her hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
Tears spring to her eyes and to mine.
And I leave.
Walk out into the night and inhale the air.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
I let it fill my lungs with air before exhaling a long cleansing breath.
Slowly, I make my way to my car, and when a breeze blows by, I raise my arms up high above my head and clutch fistfuls of air as it weaves it way through my fingers.
It wasn’t me—it was her.
Her.
She was the broken one.
Not me.
Then I look down at my still-flat belly and think . . .
Maybe.
Just maybe . . . I can do this.
LICENSE TO DRIVE
Jasper
EVERYONE WANTS TO do it.
Drag down Hansen Dam, Ogden and Kostner, Telegraph Road, even the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway can be a thrill, but if you’re a street racer, no place is more coveted than Mulholland Drive.
My hands are gripping the wheel.
There is a carpet of shimmering lights below.
Windows open.
I whip through the turns with hair-raising precision.
The stretch of broken pavement that clings to the side of the ridge is nine miles of pure adrenaline.
Vroom!
Tires spin.
The V-8 growls as it rolls down the boulevard.
It’s over way too soon. But just once. That was all I needed. Just once in my lifetime to be able to say I did it.
“Woohoo,” Jake hollers as I pull into our hotel.
“You’re one crazy fuck,” Drew shouts as he gets out.
I grin like a motherfucker.
“Last time you’re driving when I’m in the car,” Will breathes under his breath.
I clap him on the shoulder. “What’s the matter, getting old?”
“Hardly. You’re just a crazy fuck.”
“Come on, I had complete control.”
Will walks ahead of me.
“You’re mad because you didn’t get to ride shotgun. Aren’t you?”
He raises his hand and gives me the finger.
“Love you too!” I shout.
He turns around with a grin and I know he loved every second of that ride. “I’ve got some calls to make,” he tells me.
Guess that means he wants some privacy.
Subtle.
I slow my pace and wait for Jake. “What you did today took a lot of guts.”
He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I did what I had to do, JJ, to save our company.”
“Yeah, you did, man, and you delivered.” I grin.
Once Jake confronted his father, he not only presented him with the legal document Brad had put together, but he told him what he remembered. The dude came clean right away. He told Jake someone had offered him ten thousand dollars to fabricate the story. That was all he had to do. Jake also found out whatever money his father had come into, he lost at the casino tables. After that, we blew out of Vegas.
Shit! Have we grown up or what?
We never even stopped to hit the tables, check out the strippers, or have a drink.
We just rode like the wind.
The lights of Vegas are far behind us, and Jake seems to be finally feeling better. In fact, he insists we make another stop at In-N-Out Burger. This time we eat there.
Fire out.
The hotel is on the small side, and the pool is off to the side. As the three of us head to the lobby, I veer toward it. Unbutton my shirt. Undo my pants. Hop over the small wire fence. And take everything but my skivvies off.
“The pool is closed,” Drew hollers.
“Since when do I care about rules?” I shout and jump in.
A second later there’s another splash.
Then another.
Jake grabs me by the ankles to pull me under.
Drew grabs Jake.
It’s like we are kids again, sneaking into the pool at the YMCA at midnight just because we were hot.
I slide an arm around Jake’s shoulder to knuckle him in the head. He catches it and twists my arm back. The horseplay continues for a long time. It feels good. Drew is the first to head up to the suite. Jake, exhausted, soon follows. I stay behind, put my pants back on, plop on a lounge chair, and pull my phone from my pocket. It’s midnight here, so it’s three in the morning in Detroit. I shouldn’t call her, but I need to hear her voice.
“Jasper,” she answers sounding more than a little groggy.
“Hi,” I whisper.
“Hi,” she whispers back. “I miss you.”
I stretch out on the lounge. “I’m glad.”
She laughs. “You’re supposed to say I miss you back.”
I love the shape her mouth forms when she smiles and I can picture it right now. “Since when do I do what I’m supposed to do? But I do miss you.”
That laugh again. “That’s true. I got your text. I’m glad everything went well, but it’s disturbing to hear that someone paid Jake’s father off to slander Lightning Motors.”
I run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I know.”
“Any idea who? Competitors out there maybe?”
“I don’t even want to think about it right now. So how’d it go at the doctor?”
She draws in a breath. “Good. Well. Interesting.”
I raise a brow. “Interesting how?”
“I’ll tell you all about my day tomorrow. What time will you be back?”
“Around six.”
“Okay, I’m going to get up early and take a drive out to Mackinac Island.”
Surprised, I ask, “Why are you doing that?”
I can hear the rumple of the sheets and I wish I were there with her. “Remember I told you that Katy Underwood had found some of my father’s things? I’d told her to destroy them, but she said she’d hold on to them until I made it out there, so I thought I’d go have lunch with her and pick them up.”
I look around the empty space and hate that there’s so many miles between us. “Take my car.”
“No, I like my car. Yours is a shift and I’m not good at it.”
I sigh. “It’s not going to make it.”
“Don’t say that. Yes, it is.”
I relent. “Well, be careful driving that far,” I whisper.
“What? Are you telling me I shouldn’t go ninety the whole way?” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“That car could never. But Charlotte Lane, you’re a woman after my own heart.” And then I add sternly, “Besides, that piece-of-shit car of yours needs to be handled with TLC.”
She laughs. “That’s not the only thing that likes to be handled with TLC. And it will be fine.”
She owns me with that laugh. “I’ll give you TLC, trust me.”
“I was planning on surprising you and taking you up there with me.”
“Oh, yeah, why, because you wanted to have your wicked way with me?” I tease.
“That and then some.” I can hear the hitch in her breath.
“You better stop.”
“Not much you can do about it from there.”
“Oh, baby, you do not want to go there.”
She giggles.
I get serious. “If you want I could meet you up there,” I suggest, thinking that is just the place to make her listen to
me.
“It’s five hours. You’re going to be tired and you wouldn’t get there until so late.”
“First, for me it’s four and second, I’d do anything for you.”
There’s silence on the line. “I’d really like that, but we’ll have two cars.”
“Let me worry about that. We’ll stay until Monday. It’s settled.”
“Okay.” I can hear her moving around again.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Trying to get comfortable in bed. What are you doing?” Her voice sounds seductive.
“Well, I have to share a bedroom with Will, so right now I’m flopped on a lounge chair at a closed pool by myself wishing I was in bed with you.” The huskiness in my voice is unexpected.
“Is it weird that you’ve only been gone a day and I can’t wait to see you?”
I laugh. “No, it’s not weird, but is it me or my cock you miss?”
“Do you really want to know?” Her voice is sexy.
I’m surprised by her response.
“I think you just answered my question. What are you wearing?” It just slips out.
“One of your t-shirts,” she rasps.
“What else?” I keep going.
“Nothing.”
I nearly stop breathing.
“Are you still there? I said nothing.”
Something’s different about her. She sounds lighter, freer. Maybe getting that cast off was a great relief.
“Jasper,” she breathes again.
The way she says my name makes my cock thicken and my balls tighten. “Yeah, I’m still here. I’m thinking about you lying there. In our big bed. Without me. And trying to figure out how to fix that problem.”
“Sorry, but I think the distance between Detroit to California isn’t a problem that can be fixed.”
“But it is. I’m very resourceful.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Pull your shirt up.”
“Okay,” she breathes without reluctance.
Again, I’m surprised.
“Did you do it?”
“Yes.”
I can picture her right now. Her nipples peaked. Her pussy wet for me. Her mouth parted. The tip of her tongue slipping out to wet her lower lip, just the smallest, most unobtrusive bit, but enough to drive me wild. Then her breathing picks up. Her hair is a beautiful mess all around her. I’m practically panting when I speak. “Pretend your hands are mine, and that I’m caressing your beautiful tits and pinching your tiny pink nipples until you moan. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Harder.”
“Yes, oh yes.”
I can feel the blood rushing faster and faster to my cock. “That’s it, baby, moan for me. Let me hear you.”
“Oh Jasper, I want your mouth on my pussy.”
“Jesus Charlotte, you can’t talk that way to me when I’m not near you.”
“I can’t help it. I’m thinking of you and the way you look at me when you push my legs apart.”
My heart stutters at the thought of doing just that. “Well, it’s your lucky day because I’m there. I’m crawling up the bed to get to that sweet little pussy of yours with my mouth and my hands.”
“I can feel you. Your tongue, the slick, hot swipe of it against my flesh.”
I groan, painfully aware that I am out in public and that my straining cock can’t make an appearance, but I can be unselfish and focus on her. “That’s it. My fingers are over your clit now. I can feel that tight knot under my fingertips. Can you feel it?”
“Yes,” she moans.
“Good girl, now my fingers are inside that wet, hot pussy of yours, and they’re moving in and out. In and out.”
“Say it again,” she demands.
I love when she tries to take command.
It makes my lips part and my eyes heavy-lidded. “In and out . . . in and out. Both hands now, one with my finger deep inside you, and the other is lightly pinching your clit. You’re rocking your hips.”
“Oh, God,” she moans.
I’m fully aware of how heavy my balls feel. “That’s it, baby. Rock against my hand. Feel my mouth sucking on your clit, my fingers inside you stroking upward and fucking you. I’m there. I’m on you. Tasting you. Licking you. Sucking you. Feasting on you like you’re my last meal.”
“Oh, God, Jasper. Oh God.” She manages a barely coherent mumble.
I’m coated in sweat. I lick my lips and taste something tangy. I taste her. “That’s it. Come for me, Charlotte. Come for me, baby.”
The series of moans that rip through the line has me wanting to take my throbbing cock in my hand and fuck myself without finesse or grace—just raw, unadulterated animalistic fist fucking.
“Oh my God,” she breathes into the phone.
“Yeah,” I smile and then laugh. “I was that good, huh?”
I hear her suck in a breath.
“Yes,” she answers a little sheepishly and I can picture her cheeks turning pink. “Your turn,” she says, “But you’re going to have to help me out.”
I suck in my own breath. “Fuck. I wish I could. But I’m out in public and really don’t want to be slapped with a public indecency charge. But just know that my boxers are straining right now because my cock is rock hard just thinking about how sexy you must look.”
She lowers her voice. “Do you remember when we used to play in the backyard and you didn’t want to take the time to go into the house and use the bathroom?”
“Yeah,” I laugh, “I’d go stand behind the garage and tell you not to look. You’re not going to tell me you did?”
“No! I was going to suggest you find a private spot, and I could tell you how to touch yourself.”
“Oh, fuck!” I’m so hard it’s making my teeth hurt. I make a shuddering noise of desire and look around. There is another few seconds of silence before I can speak. “Nothing private around here. Looks like it’s going to be me and my hand in the shower.”
“Will you push your hips forward and stroke your cock from the base to just below the head in short, fast strokes?”
I push my fist in my mouth to keep from doing that. “Yes.”
“Will you do it over and over?”
I’m mindless and filled with desire. “Fuck yes.”
“I wish I could watch.”
She’s so naughty.
My voice is low and hoarse. “Well, that might be able to be arranged. I can Facetime you when I get back to the room if you want?”
“Yes, I want, very much.”
Barely able to hold on, I can’t believe this girl is mine.
I want to cry out to the world . . .
Me too.
That and so much more.
REST STOP
Charlotte
THINGS DON’T ALWAYS go as planned.
And I’ve learned over the years to just roll with it.
Until now.
Everything is different now. It’s not just me. There’s a tiny life living inside me. One that needs so much.
Needs.
The night air is warm as I cross the grass to the rocks and make my way to the beach-like landing where I sit down. It’s quiet down here. Private. No one knows it’s here. I used to come here all the time when I was younger.
Younger.
Babies, children, they need things from people.
Finally I can accept that.
Accept that I wasn’t too needy.
I just needed.
Love.
Attention.
Affection.
And that was okay.
Raising my head, I watch the momentary sonic boom that fills the sky. As it happens, I think about my life and where this new event will lead me.
Will Jasper accept the baby?
Can we make a life together?
It’s with all my heart and soul that I hope we can, but if he can’t, I feel strong enough for the first time in my life that I can do this al
one.
I know I can.
Streaks of color cross the sky and I lean back to absorb the sounds of the Labor Day fireworks in the darkness of the beach. I watch the sky come alive with so many vibrant hues, starbursts of color, showers of light. And as ribbons of smoke blur the sky, I can say for the first time in my life . . . I am not broken.
The water laps the rocks and I relax into the sand, letting it wash over me, my dress, my body, my soul.
There’s a crinkle, a tickle, a tease on the back of my neck. I jump to my feet and slowly turn around. More than aware of what’s causing it. Or rather who.
The colors in the sky begin to swirl and dance into flashes and bursts, but it’s my heart that is really exploding.
He’s looking at me with those bedroom eyes.
My pulse pounds at the sight of those long legs striding toward me. Even at a distance, I can’t stop my body from shuddering. Hair the color of milk chocolate lightened by the sun spikes forward over his forehead and feathers against his cheeks in front of his ears. Short and wispy in the back, it sticks up everywhere. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt and his boots to the beach.
I laugh.
So Jasper.
And I love that I know that.
He gets a little closer and the light of the moon highlights his gorgeous face. He’s so scruffy and delicious.
His gaze slides over me with a warmth I want to hold on to forever. This might be it for us. Once I tell him about the baby, he might just turn around.
I can’t tell him right now.
Not yet.
I want too much.
Just him.
And me.
And the moment.
Nothing else but the earth and the sky.
“Hey, there you are,” he calls with a grin that melts me.
My feet are moving, running, and I’m jumping into his arms. “How’d you get here so early?”
Jasper twirls me around like I’m as light as a feather and made of air before setting me down. “I took a turbo chopper, but I think the better question is why’d you get here so late?”
I don’t pull away to answer. I just keep my embrace around his neck and hold him tight. “A little setback.”
He laughs long and hard into a spot he’s burrowed his face into at my neck. “I wouldn’t call your engine overheating a little setback.”
“The mechanic told me it wouldn’t be worth fixing.”