by S. J. McCoy
“And that’s all you want?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what I want. What matters is what she wants.”
Ben shook his head. “Take it from one who knows. You want to be damned sure you know what a woman wants before you commit yourself to respecting her wishes. I think you’re way off.”
“I’d love to believe you, but I spent the day with her yesterday and she is not interested. Not one bit.”
“Whatever you say. I should get going. I’ve still got a few loose ends to tie up before I can head out on the lake.” He smiled. “And you should get going, too. You know she’s not working this weekend?”
Eddie smiled back. “I do. I’m on my way over there now.”
“Just as a friend?”
He nodded. “Just as a friend.”
Ben laughed. “I’m looking forward to the day when I get to say I told you so.”
“Hey, if that day ever comes, I’ll be happy to hear it.”
“I have a feeling it’ll come a lot sooner than you think. See ya.”
“Yeah, later.” As Eddie walked away, part of him hoped that Ben was right, but he knew he wasn’t.
He stopped the car in front of April’s house and got out. He was nervous! How about that? He made himself get a grip as he walked up the path. Just as he raised his hand to knock on the door, it opened a few inches, and a little face peered out at him.
“Hey, little dude! How you doing?”
The kid smiled, but he looked wary, too. “Mom said you were going to come. I’ll go get her.” The door closed again.
Eddie shook his head as he waited. April was right. Marcus couldn’t be any more different from Ethan if he tried. He was quiet, shy, nervous. Or at least, he acted that way. Eddie had to wonder what his real personality would turn out to be. He hoped he’d get the chance to find out because he knew that the kid’s real personality wouldn’t come out until he’d gotten over his fear and gained some confidence.
The door opened again, and this time, April stood there smiling at him. Damn, she was beautiful! He smiled back. “Hey.”
“Hi.” He had to wonder why she squeaked like that whenever she said hello to him. Did he make her nervous? And if so, why? Then it dawned on him that she might well be afraid of men. That hadn’t occurred to him before. He’d have to keep it in mind, and tread even more carefully than he had been doing.
“Come on in,” she said in a more normal voice. She smiled down at Marcus. “We’ve been expecting you.”
Marcus gave him a nervous smile and turned to go through to the living room.
April hung back and smiled at him. “He’s so excited!”
Eddie grinned. “Great. So am I.”
“So, what do you want to do today, little dude?” he asked when they joined Marcus in the living room.
The kid’s eyes were wide as he looked up at him. “Are you really going to teach me how to play guitar?”
“I am, but I didn’t realize you wanted to start today.” His little face fell, making Eddie feel bad. “But we can if you want.” He looked at April. “I didn’t bring my guitar, but if you’d both like we can go over to my place and do the first lesson there? And if you like we can hang out there. We can fish off the dock and maybe grill some burgers later.”
Marcus looked up at his mom. He looked so eager; Eddie hoped she’d agree. She turned to look at him. “We don’t have to. We could do the guitar lesson another day; you don’t need us invading your house.”
Eddie winked at Marcus. “Of course you don’t have to—but I’d like you to, please.”
She smiled. “Okay, then. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure I’m sure. We might need to stop at the grocery store on the way over to stock up, but other than that, we’re good to go.”
Marcus smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
Eddie nodded. The kid was a man of few words. “Thank you. I don’t often get to have friends come over. It’ll be fun for me.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Yes, really. We’re going to have fun. Come on. Let’s get going.”
“I’ll just get my keys,” said April. “We’ll follow you.”
Eddie shook his head. He didn’t like that idea. “You may as well just ride with me. I’ll bring you home whenever you want.” He would, too, but at least if he had to take her, she was less likely to run out on him too soon.
She smiled. “Okay. Thank you.”
~ ~ ~
April looked around her as they got out of Eddie’s car. She didn’t know what she’d expected, but it wasn’t this. If anything she’d have thought that Eddie would live in one of the little houses in town like the one where she and Marcus lived in. This place was lovely. Well, the house was nothing special, but it was nice enough. The lot itself was great. It was so private, down at the end of a quiet road and surrounded by trees. It was like a little secret spot down on the water.
“I love this place,” she exclaimed.
“Thanks. Isn’t it great? I was so lucky to find it.”
She nodded. “You were. The house we’re in was all I could find. I wish we’d found something like this, though.”
“Me too,” said Marcus who had come to stand beside her, but was looking around with wide eyes. “Is that where the dock is?” He pointed to the trees down by the water’s edge.
Eddie smiled at him. “It sure is. Do you want to go see?”
“Yes, please.”
“Come on, then.”
Even as Eddie started walking down the yard, Marcus looked up at April to check that it was okay with her. She nodded encouragingly. “Isn’t this neat?”
Marcus nodded and set off after Eddie. The smile on his face made her heart happy. It’d been far too long since she’d seen him look like that.
Soon all thoughts of guitar lessons were forgotten as the three of them sat out on the dock fishing with poles that Eddie had brought out from the shed.
Eddie glanced over at her with a grin. “I’d never have guessed that you love to fish!”
She laughed. “I grew up in Montana! Everyone fishes.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Do you hunt, too?”
“No.”
“I got one!” Marcus stood up and started reeling in his line.
“Good job!” said Eddie. Marcus turned to smile up at him and lost his grip on the pole. It fell over the rail and sank into the water.
“I’m sorry!” Marcus looked terrified as he backed away from Eddie. “I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t help it. It was an accident.” He turned around and fled up the dock.
Eddie looked at April. “What the…? I don’t mind. It’s fine; it’s not a problem!”
April shook her head at him as she hurried after Marcus. “It’s not you he’s scared of.” She ran back up into the yard hoping he hadn’t gone too far. She could hear him crying quietly, but she couldn’t see him anywhere. “Come out, Marcus. It’s okay.”
Eddie came up behind her. “Is he all right?”
“He will be, I just need to find him.”
Eddie pointed to where the bushes were rustling up by the house. “Can I go talk to him?”
April wasn’t sure about that. It might just scare him more.
“Please?”
She nodded and watched Eddie walk over to the bushes, which became very still as he approached. “Are you okay in there? Is it all right if I come in and join you?”
She heard Marcus sniff and watched as Eddie squatted down and crawled into the bushes. She moved a little closer, hoping to hear what was said—and to be close if Marcus shot out of there in a panic.
“I’m sorry you lost your fish; it looked like it was a big one.”
She heard Marcus sniff again. Then after a while, he said, “I’m sorry I lost your pole. Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t mean it. I’ll save up and buy you a new one.”
April swiped at the tears that escaped and rolled down her cheeks. That was what her son had le
arned in his life so far. That if you made a mistake you’d be punished for it—and made to pay, in every sense.
“Nah, you don’t need to do that, dude. Thanks, but it was an old one anyway. I’m kind of glad it’s gone. I’ve been wanting to get myself a new short pole.”
“Really?”
She could just imagine Marcus’s big eyes as he asked that.
“Really,” replied Eddie. “In fact, if it’s okay with your mom, we could go down to the big mall next weekend and see what we can find. We can each get a new one. You should have your own for when you come over. What do you think?”
Marcus was quiet for so long that April had to wonder if he was going to answer.
Eventually, she heard him ask. “You’re going to let me come over again?”
“Too right I am. We’re going to fish; you’re going to learn guitar. And did your mom tell you about four-wheeling next weekend?”
“Yes. But…”
“But what?”
“I lost your pole.”
“I told you. It doesn’t matter.”
“And you’re not mad at me?
“No, are you mad at me?”
April knew from the sound of his voice that Marcus was smiling as he asked, “Why would I be mad at you? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I know, but you think I’m mad at you and you haven’t done anything wrong, either.”
“I lost your pole.”
“It was an accident.”
“I know, but….”
She saw the bushes move and imagined—no, hoped against hope—that Eddie was putting an arm around her son’s shoulders and reassuring him. “There are no buts; accidents happen. Some people get all bent out of shape about it when they do, but shall I tell you a secret?”
April leaned closer, hoping she’d hear whatever he had to share.
“When people get bent out of shape over stuff that happens by accident—when they get mean with you, that’s their problem. Not yours. It doesn’t mean you did something bad. It means they don’t know how to treat people right. You’re a good kid. I can see it. And I know when you’re a kid you’re supposed to respect grown-ups and everything, but sometimes grown-ups are assholes, just like the bullies at school. When grown-ups treat you badly, don’t automatically accept that you’re wrong, and they’re right. First, ask yourself if they’re an asshole.”
April couldn’t believe he was talking to her ten-year-old son like that, but at the same time, she couldn’t help smiling. Everything he’d said was true. She knew that Marcus’s problems stemmed from the way Guy had treated him. Guy expected the boy to blindly obey everything he said—and he really was an asshole.
The bushes rustled again, and Eddie popped out followed by a tear-stained, but smiling Marcus. Eddie looked surprised to see her standing there. “You heard all that?”
Marcus turned wide eyes on her.
She nodded and had to smile at the two worried faces looking back at her. “I heard, and I couldn’t agree more.” She didn’t know which of them looked more relieved.
Marcus came and hugged her. “You were right, Mom.”
“About what?”
“When you said that Eddie is a good man and that I’d like him. He is, and I do.”
Eddie grinned at her over the kid’s head. He mouthed Thank you.
She shook her head and pointed at him. She was the one who needed to thank him. He’d just given her son a gift. Something she’d never managed to give him—permission to trust himself in the face of unreasonable adults.
Chapter Six
“Morning,” called Renée as April let herself into the bakery. “And how are you this fine and sunny day?”
April laughed. “Not as bright-eyed and cheery as you are by the sounds of it. I take it you had a good weekend?”
“I did. And you can’t tell me you didn’t love being able to sleep in just as much as I did?”
April shook her head. She didn’t think she dared tell Renée just how wonderful it had felt to stay in bed until a reasonable hour and not have to be here at five o’clock. Her face must have given her away, though.
“I know, I know,” said Renée. “It was absolute heaven, and it must have been even better for you and Marcus. I hate getting up and coming here so early every day, and it breaks my heart when I think of your little guy getting dragged out of bed at that time.”
April shrugged. It broke her heart to do it to him. Since their trip to Vegas, she’d been dropping him off with Doc and Lizzie Morgan before she came to work. Lizzie claimed she never could sleep past four a.m. anyway, and so it was fun for her to have Marcus over. She’d even made him up his own bed in one of the spare rooms so he could get a couple of hours more sleep before it was time to go to school. It wasn’t an ideal situation for any of them, but it was a lot better than her not having a job. “He does okay.”
“Well, Gabe and I were talking about it this weekend, and I’m going to see if we can’t figure something out. I bet we could find someone who’d love to work the early shift so we could both come in later.”
On the one hand, April loved the sound of that. She’d love to be there in the mornings with Marcus and see him off to the bus stop, but on the other hand, she didn’t like the idea of having her hours cut. She was surviving financially—just—but there was never much to spare.
Renée smiled. “Don’t worry. I plan on upping your wages when we get the women’s center going.” She held up a hand as April started to protest. “Don’t worry, I won’t expect you to stay past school time in the afternoon, but you’ll be taking on much more responsibility. You’ll be doing two jobs in effect since we’ll still be working the bakery and you’ll be doing so much in the center. I’d love to pay you two salaries, but that might be a push.”
“Don’t be silly. I don’t want two salaries. I just want a fair wage, and I’ll be fine. I’d do the women’s center for free. It’s important to me.”
“I know, but I want you to benefit from this, and benefit in more than satisfaction.”
April nodded. “Thanks, but you’re going to need time to figure out your budgets and everything first. You don’t want to end up losing money.”
Renée pushed the hair out of her eyes. “That’s what Gabe said, too. I wish you all had a little more faith in me. I used to run a non-profit; I do know how to make it work, you know?”
April smiled. “I know, I do have faith in you. I just also know that you have a great big heart, and you don’t tend to put your own interests first. That’s all.”
Renée smiled back at her. “Sorry. I get a bit defensive. Anyway, I want to hear about your weekend. It looked like Eddie was very keen to talk to you on Friday night. And rumor has it that you spent most of the weekend with him. What’s going on?”
April could feel the heat in her cheeks giving her away as she sputtered, “Nothing!”
Renée laughed. “Nothing, huh? It doesn’t look like nothing to me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush before.”
“Honestly. There’s nothing going on. Come on, what would a guy like him see in someone like me? He was just bored this weekend, and he wanted someone to hang out with.”
Renée raised a skeptical eyebrow. “If he weren't interested in you, he wouldn’t have had to be bored this weekend. Not from the way that girl was trying to suck his face on Friday night.”
“Exactly. That’s the kind of girl he’s interested in. Not me!”
“Are you serious? Are you trying to hide it from me, or are you just too blind to see it yourself?”
“See what?”
“The guy’s nuts about you! It was obvious in Vegas.”
April shook her head. “He was nice in Vegas, but if he was interested in me, don’t you think I would have seen something of him since we’ve been back?” She smiled. “I do keep getting the feeling that he might like me, but I know that’s crazy. If you must know, it’s me that likes him! Okay? And I know how ridiculous that i
s. He’s being kind and offering to hang out with me and Marcus since we’re the only singlies around. I don’t want to abuse that and embarrass either of us by letting him know that I like him. It’s just a silly crush. It’s nice. It’s safe. It’s just a fantasy, and that’s all I need.”
“Ah, now I get it. You really don’t see it, do you? You won’t allow yourself to see that he likes you because you like him, and you’re too scared to do anything about it.”
April blew out a sigh. “You don’t see at all. I have a silly crush. And he is not interested in me as anything other than a friend. Okay? Now can we leave it?”
Renée looked a little taken aback, and April was a little shocked at herself, but at least the subject was closed. She gave her friend a rueful smile. “Now can I make you a coffee by way of an apology for my little outburst there?”
“Of course, you can. I’m sorry. I’ll leave the subject alone…for now,” she added as April made her way into the back.
~ ~ ~
Eddie stopped when he reached the corner. Was he really going to go into the bakery? He could just forget it. Trouble was, he didn’t want to. If he was honest, he couldn’t forget it. He couldn’t get April out of his head. Or Marcus, for that matter. The poor little dude had been scared shitless over the fishing pole yesterday. That just wasn’t right. Eddie knew how he felt, though. He’d learned to be the same way around his stepdad when he was a kid. He’d avoided him as much as he could, and when he’d had to be around him, he’d done his best to make himself invisible. He’d tried to do everything he knew his stepdad liked and nothing he didn’t. Of course, being so careful had meant that he screwed up more often than not and pissed the bastard off anyway. He hated knowing that Marcus must have lived the same way around his own dad. That thought spurred him on. He was going to go into the bakery. He was going to keep up his efforts to be a friend to both of them. April wasn’t interested in him, fair enough. That didn’t mean he was going to give up on Marcus.
The door tinkled as he let himself inside. The place was empty. Renée popped her head out around the door that led to the back. “Hey! Be right with you.” She disappeared again.