by Melody Grace
“She asked for a blue color scheme, then went changing her mind,” Griffin muttered.
“The horror,” Alice teased. “I’m sure she deserved you cussing her out in front of her whole knitting club.”
He gave her a look.
“You know, if you keep up this whole surly thing, I’m going to stop sending you clients,” Alice continued, flagging down Riley to order a drink. “Aren’t you tired of it?” she asked the bartender. “I’m sure you must be bored of staring at this sullen face every night of the week.”
“I’m not in here every night,” Griffin protested, even though it was probably true. He used to love the calm and solitude back at his place, but spending his evenings alone reminded him of the times when he wasn’t. When Lila’s laughter and conversation filled whatever room they were in, and he was so consumed with the heat of her kisses, the minutes melted away in a blur.
Now, the hours dragged past, infinitely slow, and nothing he did could make them pass any faster.
“Have you called her?” Alice asked bluntly, just the way she’d been asking almost every day since Lila left.
And just like every other day, Griffin shook his head. “She wouldn’t want me to,” he said again. “It’s over. You didn’t see the way she looked at me, the things we said in that fight. She’s not coming back.”
“And who says she has to?” Alice challenged him. “You’re perfectly capable of getting on a plane, aren’t you? Plus, I heard a rumor they have gardens out in California, too.”
Griffin exhaled. He’d almost bought a ticket, a dozen times over, and every time, he’d remembered the reason she’d left him behind in the first place. “She wouldn’t want me there,” he said, resigned. “You’ve seen the stories in all the papers. She has that new movie, and a whole new life. It looks like she’s having a great time.”
Alice snorted. “Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from this, it’s that the tabloids always tell the whole truth!”
He winced. “Fair enough. But still . . . What makes you think she’d even want to speak to me? I’m not the only one who hasn’t called,” he pointed out. “She could have reached out to me if she’d wanted.”
“For crying out loud!” Alice threw up her hands. “For two smart, disturbingly attractive people, you can sure be dumb. You had a fight. One little fight. And you’re letting that ruin everything?”
Griffin gave her another look. “Aren’t you forgetting the part where my brother sold naked photos of her to every tabloid rag around?”
“Psh, ancient history.” Alice waved his objection aside like it was nothing, but it didn’t feel that way to Griffin.
“Please, let’s just talk about anything else,” he asked. “What’s new with you? Didn’t you have a blind date this week?”
“Bad food, flat-earther,” Alice summarized succinctly.
He blinked. “Flat what?”
“Don’t think you can change the subject on me,” Alice said, stubborn. “Seriously, Griffin. I thought you would come around and see sense in your own sweet time, but you’re taking way too long. This could really be over with Lila. Why won’t you act?”
Griffin got to his feet. He needed to get away from this barrage of questions—especially when he didn’t have a good answer.
“I told you, the subject is closed.” He threw some money down and headed for the exit, but Alice followed, trailing him out onto the street outside. “Why are you pushing this?” he demanded, his temper rising. “Can’t you just let it drop?”
“No,” Alice replied. She planted herself in front of him, looking more forceful than he’d seen before. “I won’t. Because I saw you two together. You had it! Fireworks, and rainbows, and everything else in between. Do you know how rare that is?” she demanded, her hands on her hips. “Do you know how many of us would kill to find a love like that? To feel that passion and connection with somebody of our own?”
Griffin paused. He remembered their conversation about dating, and the wistful way she’d watched him and Lila. “Alice . . .” he said, feeling shitty. “You’ll find someone.”
“This isn’t about me!” She shook her head. “I just can’t believe you’re letting it slip through your fingers like this. Do you love her?”
Griffin couldn’t answer. Saying it out loud would be admitting that she was right. But Alice wouldn’t quit.
“Do you love her?” she demanded again, and all of Griffin’s frustration and shame and guilt exploded to the surface.
“Yes!” he finally yelled, his voice echoing on the dark street. “I love her, but I fucked it up! I ruined everything, Alice. I’ve lost her,” he said, his voice breaking with bitter regret. “It’s already done.”
“No, it isn’t,” she said, determined. “Not unless you decide to let her go. You can still fix this, Griffin. But only if you want to.”
Of course he wanted to.
Griffin exhaled. “Look, I know you’re trying to help, and I appreciate it. You’re a good friend. But I need to figure this out for myself.”
Alice looked disappointed. “Just don’t take too long,” she warned him. “There’s always a moment. A window. And when it closes . . .” She trailed off, but Griffin knew exactly what she was saying.
And he might have already waited too long.
* * *
He headed home, frustration itching in his veins.
What was he waiting for?
Alice’s question lingered. He’d asked himself the same damn thing. Even now, he couldn’t come up with a good answer. He went out back to his greenhouses, flipping the lights on as he went. He was hoping to take his mind off everything, lose himself in his work, but instead, he found himself standing there, with the worst sense of déjà vu.
This is how he’d sleepwalked through the end of his relationship with Ruby. Hiding out, ignoring the fact that his marriage was falling apart.
Ignoring the fact that when it came to her life, her priorities, he would never come in first.
Griffin felt a terrible flash of recognition deep in his gut. That was what he was so afraid of when it came to Lila. The reason he’d been holding back all this time. If he went to her and told her how he felt, tried to fight for them, tried to ask for a second chance . . .
He was afraid that the answer would be no.
That she’d choose the bright lights of Hollywood, all her fame and adoring fans . . . and he’d wind up coming in a distant second all over again.
It had damn near broken his heart when it had happened with Ruby, but this time . . . ? Griffin knew that Lila making that choice would be more than he could bear.
Which made him a coward, as well as a fool.
He tried to focus on the latest crop of rose plants on his workbench. He’d been trying to cultivate a new variety, one that had Lila’s favorite scent paired with a bright peach-pink bloom. He’d been planning them as a gift to her, something to make the summer garden come alive. They were a long-shot crossbreed, he wasn’t expecting them to take without some fine-tuning, but the young plants were already flourishing.
Griffin checked the petals and scent. He could just imagine the smile on Lila’s face when she stepped out of the house and saw them. Except she didn’t live at Rose Cottage anymore.
But they grew roses in California, too . . .
Griffin paused. What did he have here, really? Some greenhouses, dirt, a house that felt empty all on his own? He’d moved to be closer to his family, but after the blowup with Jordy, they weren’t on the best terms.
The more important question was, what could he have, out there?
Lila.
She was all he wanted. Everything else would be OK, as long as they were together.
As long as he could get a second chance. But what could he say to make this right? And make up for all the time he’d wasted, stuck here, held back by his own fears?
There was only one way to find out.
22
“Congratulations.”
Dr. Beck gave Lila a smile. “You’re still early in the first trimester, but your blood work checks out, and everything looks good.”
Lila exhaled in relief. As soon as she’d seen the blue line on those drugstore tests, she’d booked an appointment with the best fertility doctor in Los Angeles. She hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up too soon; she hadn’t let herself believe . . .
But now it was real.
She was going to be a mother.
“Your vitamin D levels are a little low, so I’m giving you a list of supplements,” Dr. Beck added, scribbling something on her pad. “I’m afraid the morning sickness is par for the course, so make sure you stay hydrated and let me know if anything changes, or you find you can’t keep any food at all down.”
Lila nodded. She was still half in shock, and even though she had a million questions, they were all too jumbled to think straight. “Is there anything I need to be careful about?” she asked. “I mean, I don’t want to do the wrong thing, or put the baby at risk . . . I don’t really know anything,” she admitted, blushing.
Dr. Beck chuckled. “Don’t worry. You have another eight months to learn everything you need to know.”
She gave Lila some pamphlets and instructions to make her next follow-up appointment, and then Lila emerged from the clinic in a daze. Her head was spinning, but she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face.
This was really happening. She was going to start a family.
With Griffin.
Lila’s heart skipped a beat. She knew she had to call him with the news, but she’d wanted to wait until she was one hundred percent sure. Now, there was no excuse.
What would his reaction be?
She pushed aside the tremor of anxiety. For now, she just wanted to absorb the good news. She got in the car to head home, but then had Boris take her by a park not far from the doctor’s office. “I won’t be long,” she told him, reaching for the door handle. “You can stay here.”
“I should come with you,” he said, looking stern.
“There’s nobody here,” she replied, exasperated. “Who will I need protecting from? Those kids playing tag?”
She hopped out of the car and crossed the street, basking in the summer sun. There were kids playing on the jungle gym and running around on the grassy space, moms watching from the picnic tables. Lila found a seat and just sat there, watching them.
Everything was different now.
Maybe she should be scared or nervous. After all, her life was about to turn upside down. But instead of being anxious, all Lila could feel in this moment was a pure, calm contentment. She’d wanted this for so long, even before she’d been able to put it into words, and now, and right when she’d least expected it, her secret dream was coming true. It was early in the pregnancy and anything could happen, but somewhere deep inside her, she just knew.
This was it. And she couldn’t have been happier.
Lila looked around at the kids playing, watching the smiles . . . and the tears and tantrums, too. She wasn’t under any illusions it would be easy, but she was ready to try.
Would she be doing it alone?
Before Lila could dwell on the question, she caught sight of a man out of the corner of her eye. He was stationed across the street from the park, crouching down as he looked through a camera lens pointed straight in her direction.
She tensed. Would they ever leave her alone? After the massive PR blitz, things had died down—or so she’d thought. But as she watched, another couple of paparazzi joined him, all getting out their cameras and taking up positions.
Lila pulled her baseball cap down low over her eyes, and started walking fast back towards the car. Maybe she could make it before they got a good picture, and they could leave them in the dust. But instead of following her, the photographers stayed in place, still snapping away, focused on something in the park.
Lila turned, wondering what they were so excited about. There was nothing exciting happening, unless you counted the three girls in Frozen costumes chasing a dog around.
Then she realized, to her horror, they were taking photos of the children playing.
Lila caught sight of one of the mothers, recognizing her now. She was an actress on a big TV show; Lila had met her at a red-carpet event a few years back. She’d seemed nice, down to earth, and now she bent over her young son, helping him tie his shoelaces as they ignored the men snapping photos just twenty feet away.
Lila’s stomach turned—and this time, it wasn’t the morning sickness making her ill. She hadn’t even thought about what this would mean for her privacy. The tabloids would be all over her once word got out about the pregnancy, and then when the baby was born . . .
In a few years, she’d be in that mom’s place: trying to have a relaxed afternoon with her kid, when all the while, the vultures circled, following their every move.
“Lila?”
She snapped her head around. Boris had pulled up alongside her, the engine running. She scrambled in, grateful, and he drove away before anyone even noticed her.
But still, Lila’s mind was racing. She didn’t want this for her child, not any of it. It was one thing to fake a smile for the sake of her own career, but she couldn’t imagine inflicting this on anyone else.
When she imagined raising a baby, it wasn’t here. She pictured quiet, leafy streets and a safe town square. Walking down by the ocean, and coming home to find roses in bloom around the kitchen window.
She pictured Sweetbriar Cove.
Lila took a deep breath. Was it crazy? It didn’t feel that way. She wanted to be with friends, a real community, but more than that, she wanted to be close to Griffin. They may not have been able to make their relationship work, but she didn’t want him missing out on this. He would be an amazing father, and he deserved that chance.
If he wanted it.
* * *
She started making calls right away, and by the time they arrived back at the house, Lila had it all figured out. Movers, a plane ticket, a referral to the best ob-gyn on the Cape. Dash was understanding when she told him she had to pull out of the movie, and promised they would get together when he was next in Sweetbriar Cove. She couldn’t believe it was really so simple, but maybe that was the point: this was the right thing for her, and nothing was going to stand in her way now.
Not even her team. They called before she’d even kicked off her shoes. “The producers say you’ve pulled out of the movie?!” Her agent’s voice was so high-pitched, he was probably popping an artery with the stress. “Lila, what they hell is going on?”
“I quit,” she said calmly. She went over to the refrigerator, but of course, it was filled with nothing but pre-prepared healthy meals, all kale and quinoa, not a carb in sight.
To hell with that.
“Lila, you can’t do that!” Matt sounded like he was melting down. “We all agreed you’re not going to get a better offer!”
“I don’t want a better offer. I don’t want any offers. I’m done.”
“Are you serious? Lila! You can’t just—”
“Can you call me back?” she said, interrupting his outrage. “I need to order pizza.”
She hung up and dialed her favorite Italian spot, placing an order for extra pepperoni with the crispy thin crust. “And can you throw in some of those bread twists?” she continued, her mouth already watering. “And lasagna. And a side salad, too, I guess,” she added reluctantly, remembering Dr. Beck’s instructions about vitamins. “Twenty minutes? Perfect!”
Her call waiting was already flashing with Matt’s number—and Mindy, too, but Lila set her phone down and yawned. Maybe she’d take a nap before the pizza arrived . . . But she got sidetracked looking at the pregnancy pamphlets Dr. Beck had given her, and before she knew it, the pizza delivery guy was buzzing at the front gate.
She let him in and went to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen, but when she returned to open the front door, she stopped dead.
It wasn�
�t the pizza guy standing on her front step. It was Griffin.
Lila’s heart leapt. She stared at him in disbelief. “What . . . ? What are you doing here?” she managed to ask, her head spinning.
God, he looked good.
Standing there in front of her, Lila couldn’t look away. She’d tried to forget the way his hair fell, rumpled and sun-kissed, and how the sight of that smile made her lose her breath. But there he was in vivid technicolor, like they’d never been apart.
Griffin raked a hand through his hair in an achingly familiar gesture. “I’m sorry to just show up like this, but I needed to see you.”
For a moment, she thought that he might know about the pregnancy somehow, but that was impossible.
Which meant he’d come here for her.
Lila’s heart swelled with hope. “I . . . I mean, you should come in,” she said, stepping back.
Griffin followed her inside and slowly looked around. “Nice place,” he said, and she could only nod dumbly in response.
“Do you want something to drink?” she blurted. “I don’t have coffee, but there’s tea and this green juice my trainer swears by. No, scratch that. The juice tastes like compost. It’s green and gross and . . .”
She knew she was babbling, but Lila couldn’t help it. Just seeing him in front of her brought it all crashing back. The feel of him, the scent . . .
The way she’d been so free, safe in his arms.
“I don’t need anything, thanks.” Griffin gave her a smile, and Lila melted inside.
She’d missed him.
They went out onto the back terrace, and she could see him looking around, taking in the chic, drought-friendly landscape. “It’s not exactly up to your standards,” she said, cracking a smile, but he didn’t respond to the joke.
Griffin finally looked back at her. “I’m sorry,” he said, his blue eyes full of regret. “I owe you the biggest apology.”