Was it wrong that, in the middle of this disaster, I had one spot of happiness? A reprieve from that pressure? At least for a few years, I’d be free.
“You can pack your things tomorrow. Maybe spend some time in Europe or Asia? Travel is good. It broadens the mind. Probably good timing anyway. Once we start grooming you for the business, you’ll not get much chance to get away.”
My father rubbed his hands together as though he’d just solved a slightly vexing crossword.
“I need to see the family.” I meant Jake’s family, of course.
My father frowned. “You will NOT be doing that.”
“But I have to speak to them, to make them understand… Well, at least say something.”
“You’ll have no contact with them. If you admit to any liability, they will hammer you.”
Maybe it was piss weak of me not to insist but my father convinced me that people were spreading the vilest rumours about me. They wanted to destroy my life. Maybe it was easy for me to believe because the thought of looking into the eyes of Jake’s mother and seeing the depths of sorrow there, that scared me more than anything else in this world.
Jake had always been the golden boy of town. He had an easy way with people that I never had. I’d gone away to an elite private school, and when I returned to town, people gave me a wide berth. It didn’t help that my parents employed most people, or their parents. I was always an outsider.
I’d come home on holidays from university a few years ago and had wandered into the local music store to get some strings. The place was empty except for a sandy-haired guy mucking around on black and white Fender. We got talking. About music, mainly. It was rare for one of the locals to talk to me without measuring their words, worrying they’d say the wrong thing.
“Do you work here?” I asked.
“Part-time. Saving up enough money, then, with the staff discount, this baby will be mine. The only thing coming between me and dreams is not actually having a guitar.”
“Can you play?”
He didn’t answer, just stood up and plugged that guitar in. I’d been dreaming of starting a band as much as he had but I had plenty of guitars, the thing I lacked was band members. Especially ones that had the same determination that I did.
“We need a bassist and a drummer,” I said.
“Pete that works here plays bass. And I know a guy who might be interested in drumming.”
He put down the Fender and I picked it up, looking at the price tag. Then I slapped some money on the counter.
“Huh?”
Betrayal flickered over his face but I didn’t want it for me, I wanted it for him. That’s how we got started.
“And quit your job,” I said. “We need all the rehearsal time we can get.”
After that, the band became a thing. Jake was the buffer. We played it up, him all boy-next-door and me, the dark demon. I dressed in leather and grew my hair. I snarled while Jake smiled. Together we wrote the music and we pushed each other to do things we’d never have done on our own.
We had a pretty big following too. Not a city-type crowd but up and down the coast, we could fill most venues. It’d taken a few years and, in that time, I knew I wanted nothing else. We talked and talked, about moving away. Music industry types turned up to see us. We were on the cusp of something huge.
Until the crash.
I’d buried all that down deep, though. I couldn’t dwell on the past. I had rehearsing to do even if the other guys were taking their sweet time. They were always late for rehearsal.
When the guys finally turned up, we got to playing and the music drove all the other thoughts out of my head. It was just me and my guitar. I had a couple of new songs that I wanted to test out and, once we were done, I gave the guys the schedule for the week.
Fabian wanted to talk about Saturday night’s gig.
“It was nothing. Just a bad night,” I told him. I grabbed my gear and headed out.
“But, that girl?”
“That was nothing.” I shot him a grin. “You know what chicks are like.”
He nodded and that ended the conversation.
After that, I swung by the club. There wasn’t a lot to do there. Carlie could look after the bar without much need for my input. When she’d first started, I’d go through inventory and that kind of thing with her. I had no experience running a bar but I’d picked up a few things about business from my old man. Now though, my presence wasn’t even needed for that.
Sally was capable enough with running the band room too. She’d come to me as often as she could for my input but that wasn’t because she needed help. I knew exactly what her intentions were but I had no interest in her. She was a good worker and that was as far as I cared about her. I wasn’t about to tell her outright though, in case she quit.
I hadn’t sat down long when Sally moved in beside me. She wanted to talk about the band roster. She always wanted to talk about the band roster.
“I really think you should check it over,” she said.
“Anything you decide is fine by me.”
I hadn’t slept much in the last few days and that made me snappy.
Dee
The next time I went to the club was to see the band booker, Sally. I’d spoken to her on the phone but I wanted to meet her in person. I’d like to look around the space while it was empty and I wanted to see what she knew about Alex. I told her I’d drop by with some flyers.
We were starting off with an opening spot on a weeknight. Fair enough too, we were unknowns, but I intended to rule this town and Alex’s club. He’d not be able to walk away from me so easily.
When I met her, I realised she was the busty blond who’d been hanging off Alex. Hell, an Alex fangirl was the last thing I wanted to deal with. I needed someone who’d have my back.
Hopefully, we’d get to play before she realised my connection to Alex. I’d hate to have the gig cancelled before we got that chance.
“Great to meet you,” she said. “I loved your demo. You guys have something.”
I smiled, trying to win her over. Although, if she was in Alex’s thrall, I had no chance. Winning people over wasn’t my strong suit, not anymore anyway. Once, I’d been the Miss Congeniality type, lots of friends and no barriers. Now, even when I attempted to make friends, that invisible wall was there. I didn’t exactly repel people, maybe just intimidated them. And, even then, it wasn’t on purpose.
“I love your band name too. Dee Cups. That’s hilarious.”
I followed Sally around the room, checking out the sound desk and the system. It was a sweet setup.
“Thanks for taking the time to do this,” I said. “I know we are small potatoes at the moment.”
“No problem. It’s no issue at all. Not many bands would go to this much effort and it gives me a break from being on the phone all day.”
Just as she said that, her mobile rang. She shot me a smile of apology while she took the call. Since I’d seen everything I needed to see, I gave her a smile and wave and headed off.
There were a few people hanging out in the bar downstairs. They all seemed pretty chummy. I’d thought I’d be able to sneak out without them noticing.
“Hey, you’re the girl from the other night. You were talking to Alex.” It was the young guy with the stringy hair. He’d popped up in front for me without me even noticing him.
I shrugged, intending on pretty much ignoring him, but the barmaid called me over.
“Have a drink before you leave,” she said and started pouring me a beer.
Alex wasn’t part of the group sitting at the bar, and I hadn’t seen him around, so I felt safe sticking around for a while.
“So, you know Alex from before?” the young boy asked.
I nodded, hoping my lack of interest would put him off talking.
Some old blues played in the bar, it sounded like Robert Johnson. I slipped onto a stool, away from the others but they all faced me with no attempt to hide the curiosity in
their faces. I guess that was better than sympathy.
The others chatted away about things that didn’t concern me. Someone called Gina was getting married. I think that was the girl from the proposal the other night. The name sounded familiar. Sally came down from upstairs, still on the phone and sat at the bar too.
The barmaid handed me my drink. “I’m Carlie, by the way, and that one with the big mouth is Drew. Oh, and that’s my fat head boyfriend, sitting over there. Holden.”
I looked up and nodded. Then stopped mid-nod. When she said Holden, I had no idea she meant HOLDEN FUCKING KING. I was sitting in a bar drinking with Holden King. Sweet Jesus. I gulped my beer down to hide the fangirl blush creeping over me.
“Tell us about Alex,” the boy called Drew said. “Do you have any funny stories? Stuff we can stir him about?”
Carlie laughed. It seemed they didn’t put Alex on a pedestal, that’s for sure.
I shook my head. “No, sorry.”
I didn’t look up, though. I didn’t want them reading anything in my eyes. I sipped my drink and listened to their talk, all private jokes and funny stories.
“You’re playing here soon?” Holden asked.
I nodded. Hell, I couldn’t talk to someone like him. If Alex had always been an obtainable dream, Holden was a level beyond that. The rock star everyone desired. Still, he seemed like just a regular guy, sitting here in the bar with the others.
“She’s playing this Thursday night,” Sally said. “I’m expecting big things too. Maybe a headlining spot after they build up a following.”
That made me blush. Then Holden King said he’d come along and check us out. Holy crap. Maybe he was just saying it to be nice but, man, that’d be the greatest thing ever. Just wait until Pete found out, he’d shit himself.
As I sat there, I realised it was the first time I’d relaxed and just hung out chatting since Jake died. All my friends back home had treated me like I’d break down any moment, so I’d let them drift away. I was comfortable with Pete and Ferdie but that was all about the music.
Since the place was quiet, Carlie moved away from the bar to play on the Galaga machine.
“Do you play?” she asked me.
I shook my head.
“You don’t want to play Carlie,” Holden said. “She’s ruthless.”
“It’s true,” Drew added. “But one time, we had a huge battle for me to win my job back and I BEAT CARLIE.”
The grin on his face made me laugh. It was obviously a huge deal for him.
“Are you ever going to let that go?” Carlie said. “For fuck sake, it was one game. A fluke at that.”
Drew sighed. “No, Carlie, I’ll never forget it. Anyway, is there anything else you want me to do? Jackson’s going to be here soon for my guitar lesson.”
“I think we’re covered.”
As she said that, a guy walked in. He’d been the one who’d proposed the other night. Wow, everyone in this place hung out together by the looks of it.
Before he trailed the older guy upstairs, Drew turned back to me.
“Since you’re from the same town as Alex, maybe you can clear this up for us. Is it true he killed a man?”
My insides clenched as though as giant fist squeezed me tight. I couldn’t get enough air. He’d asked so casually. Had Alex been bragging about it? Surely not. Or maybe it was just a rumour. No matter what, I couldn’t stay here. All those fuzzy feelings inside me evaporated. I was stupid to let my guard down for a second.
I sat my glass down and walked out of the bar without answering.
“Drew, you fucking moron,” Carlie said, as I was leaving. “Watch that fool mouth of yours.”
Dee
Pete and Ferdie turned up the day before we played. I’d booked them rooms in the same rundown hotel where I was staying, and we sat around rehearsing until some burly guy bashed on our door.
“Shut up the fucking noise or I’ll smash those fucking guitars into kindling.”
He wasn’t joking either. He looked like he’d be able to do it one-handed. Ferdie’s lip trembled even though the fool didn’t even have a guitar, only a temporary “drum kit” set up on the bed.
We took a break and Ferdie made us coffee with the kettle he’d bought. Pete and I both had sparse and empty rooms while Ferdie had bought all the home comforts with him. That’s why we rehearsed in his room.
“So, why this town? This club? There are a lot of places closer to home,” Pete asked. “And we could sleep in our beds.”
I shrugged but he wasn’t so easily brushed off — and anyway, better to tell him now than have it come as a shock. He was going to know about Alex sooner or later.
“Okay, do you know who owns this club?”
“Some old fuck who knows nothing about music? He has sweat stains in his armpits and his shirt doesn’t fully cover his beer gut.”
“Wrong. Not even close. Alex Dressner.”
“Why, Dee?”
“Because.”
He shook his head. Ferdie looked from me to Pete and back again. Of course, he knew about Alex and Jake but he’d not been part of that. He’d only heard the stories. He handed us mugs of coffee, even gave us paper napkins, and sat on the creaky bed. I sat on the floor, leaning against the bed, while Pete had the crappy chair.
“So, you have an ulterior motive. Maybe you should’ve discussed that with us before dragging us down here. We have lives too. If it’s about the band, that’s one thing but if it’s a personal vendetta, that’s different.”
“It’s not just my vendetta, Pete. You were friends with Jake. You know what happened. Don’t you feel anything? Alex is a murderer. He can’t get away with that. Are you with me on this or aren’t you?”
Pete didn’t answer, though, he just stirred his coffee, around and around, as though the only thing that mattered was making sure every single little grain of sugar was dissolved. If he thwarted me on this, the band would be over. I loved playing but I did it with one purpose and one purpose only. I had no dreams of rock glory. Keeping Jake’s music alive was a side benefit but, if I didn’t have plans for Alex, I’d be happy serving coffee and making sandwiches.
“I’m happy with whatever you plan,” Ferdie said. “I love this band.”
I shot him a big grin. Pete kept on stirring. There’d be no bottom left in that mug if he didn’t quit soon.
Once, Pete would’ve backed me up on anything but, just before I’d left town, he’d asked me on a date and I’d said no. After that, he’d changed towards me. He was still into the band but seemed to argue with me whenever he could.
I had an ace up my sleeve.
“Holden King said he might come watch us play.”
The spoon clanged against the side of the mug and Pete’s head shot up.
“If you are joking about that, I will kill you. Holden King. What? Why? How?”
I folded up the napkin into increasingly smaller triangles. I’d tease this out.
“Seems he’s dating the barmaid at the club. We got chatting… You know how things go…”
“Hell, why aren’t we rehearsing? Screw that old guy. If comes knocking on the door again, I’ll deal with him.” A light shone in Pete’s eyes.
Pete made up for all the ambition I lacked. He had dreams, big dreams. I didn’t want to screw him over to get my own way and, who knew, the more we played and the more people saw him, the more chance he had of being picked up by a bigger band, one who would make it, when my revenge plans were fulfilled and I could retire.
“Nah, let’s give it a rest for now. We have sound check tomorrow and what we don’t know now, we won’t learn in a few hours.” I took a sip of my coffee, happy to be in agreement with Pete again.
Pete gave me a sideways look. I shook it off, though. Pete cared about the music and not much else. Not obsessively like Alex but he definitely had his sights on fame. He sure wasn’t shy about the groupies he pulled either.
He’d give me those looks sometimes, but I ignored
them. Anyway, even if he had feelings, it’d do him no good. I had no time for men in my life. Not until I’d destroyed Alex Dressner.
***
I was nervous before we even got to sound check. Sure, we’d played a bit before but that was to a crowd made up mostly of our friends.
Shit had gotten real. There would be no one we knew there tonight, no one who’d cheer and scream no matter how badly we sounded. For all I knew, the crowd would as hostile as all hell.
“There’ll be no one here at all,” Pete said. “If anyone turns up to see a band on a Thursday night, it’s their friends. And we have no friends. Not here. The ‘crowd’ won’t even rock up until around eleven. Well after we’ve played, packed up and headed home.”
He had a point. We got set up and ran through a few songs. But, even without thoughts of a hostile crowd, I was nervous. I wasn’t playing to a crowd. I was playing to one person only. I needed to prove myself and I need a reason to stick around.
“Whoa, we sound fantastic in here,” Pete said. “This place is awesome.”
“Imagine how much better we’ll sound with a crowd packed in.”
We laughed. Even without a crowd, it was good to be on stage.
“Nice work, guys,” came a shout from the back of the room. “Now, are you finished so we can set up?”
We’d gone five minutes over our allotted sound check time. I gave the other band the thumbs up and we moved off. The guys coming in were a bunch of heavy metal dudes. I wasn’t sure if they would mesh that well with us. We were more classic rock. I guess you can’t be too fussy for a first gig but it might not go well for us if the few people watching us were all their metal mates.
We rounded up our stuff.
“What say we head downstairs for a drink?” Ferdie said.
I’d managed to get this far without Alex realising and figured it was better if he didn’t know until we got on stage. I wanted to haunt him, possess his mind so that, no matter what else he was doing or how he tried to avoid it, the past would always be torturing him.
“Let’s get some food instead.” I put my jacket on. “I’m starving.”
Rock Revenge: Alex's Story (Access All Areas Book 4) Page 3