Whoa, that was too much. I folded my arms, hugging myself tight to hold in my emotions. I’m not sure Alex considered himself in exile and I was fully certain that being away from his mother was no punishment.
“Well, Jake is dead. That’s a helluva lot more consequences. And, no matter what your addled brain thinks, Alex never had any intention of working in your company. All he ever wanted was to play music.”
“A childish fancy he’ll grow out of. He has responsibilities. It’s been long enough now and it’s time he returned to his rightful position. I’m just tying up loose ends.”
Hell, I should just leave Alex to deal with his mother. That would be the greatest revenge of all. The woman was a monster. I was about to tell her to get the hell out of my apartment, to put her cheque book away because she was wasting her money. Alex would never come near me again, and I’d never go near him.
Before I could answer her, the apartment shook to a pounding on the door.
God, what next?
Alex
“Hey, Alex, your mother called me.”
I slammed my drink down on the bar and stared at Pete.
“My mother? Called you? Please answer every question I have in my mind about that.”
“For some reason, she wanted to talk to Dee. I didn’t even know she knew Dee. But anyway I told her that Dee had moved in with Sally and gave her the address. She said to tell you to ring her too.”
“Why did she ring you?”
Pete shrugged. “She does, sometimes. She likes to know things.”
I’d deal with that whole issue later. Pete being a spy for my mother was a low blow, but I needed to find Dee and get this shit sorted. There was not one reason in this entire world for my mother contacting Dee that could be good.
I’d had a difficult day. One of the most difficult in my entire life, and this was not what I needed to cap it off. I’d practically cut my own throat and wanted to revel in my own misery. The absolute last person I needed to deal with was my mother. But, for Dee’s sake, I’d do it.
I rushed into Sally’s office. She wasn’t there but I soon found her upstairs.
“Sally, what’s your address?”
“What? Why?”
“Dee’s in trouble.”
Sally quickly scrawled her address on a piece of paper and I rushed off. Hopefully, I’d get there before Mother arrived. I could warn Dee and maybe get her out of the apartment. Why was Pete such a chucklehead that he’d give Mother information like that? And what exactly did he chat to her about when she called him? The whole situation reeked. I bet she was paying him.
I got lost on the way there. The apartment wasn’t in a part of town I knew and the mapping app on my phone was being weird. When I found the place, I hoped my car would be safe in that neighbourhood.
Then I noticed the other expensive car parked in the street. She was here already.
Sally lived in flat 1A. I had to go down a walkway to the door at the side of the building. The path was dank, and moss grew over it, making it slippery. Still, I flew to the door, half sliding, and smashed my fist against it. I knew that Dee wasn’t in physical danger but my mother didn’t need to use violence to cause permanent damage.
The door opened. Mother sat at a table. The air was tense but, at least, Dee wasn’t in tears.
“Thank goodness, you’re here. We need to talk.” Mother stood up. “I’m just about done here.”
“What’s she been doing to you?” I asked Dee, ignoring my mother.
“Let her alone. We need to go, Alex. I’ve tried reasoning with her and it’s impossible.” Mother grabbed me by the arm but I shook her off. “You need to stay away from her altogether.”
She gave Dee a sweeping glance as though to dismiss her.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Just look at her. She’s not the kind of girl you should get involved with.”
I did look at her. She’d tied her hair back in a scrappy ponytail. The singlet she wore had food stains on it and was well past needing a wash. She had on skimpy little shorts that showed her long, tanned legs.
Those shorts could drive a man crazy.
Far from being the girl I shouldn’t be involved with, she was the perfect girl. The only girl. If it wasn’t Dee, it’d be no one.
“You leave. I’m staying.” I folded my arms. There was no way I’d leave, unless it was to get Mother far away from Dee.
“You can both leave,” Dee said. “I’m sick of your entire family.”
Even though she said that, the way she looked at me ignited a glimmer of hope in my heart. All wasn’t lost. If only my mother didn’t fuck things up.
“I will be going but things will go my way, you’ll see.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I want you home and working in the business by the end of the week. Enough of this fooling around. You’ll be thirty in a few years and we need someone to carry things on. Your father isn’t getting any younger.”
“I’ve got plans of my own,” I said.
“Yes. That stupid music contract. I know all about that and, believe me, with one phone call from me, that will all be history.”
She folded her arms and smirked at me with a smugness that suggested she’d won. There would be no winning for her, though. I’d not be going back to work in the business. I’d not take orders from her either. She thought she could rule people with her money but that was no longer the case.
“Too late,” I said. I hadn’t wanted to discuss it like this, in front of Dee, but there was no way out of it. “I’ve cancelled it myself.”
Mother clapped her hands together. “Thank goodness. See, all that stupid music business was just a kid’s dream. You have to be realistic.”
I turned to Dee. Since it was coming out anyway, I needed to explain.
“I’ve cancelled the contract, Dee. They wouldn’t go ahead unless we released ‘Fifteen Minutes of Sunshine’ and I couldn’t do that. It’s your song.”
She shook her head. “It’s not mine. It’s Jake’s.”
“It’s Jake’s,” I agreed. “I need to do things my own way. I’ve screwed a lot up.”
Dee gave me an encouraging nod. That nod meant more to me than anything in the world. It was enough to give me courage for everything I needed to do to start making things right.
“Stop being ridiculous, the pair of you.”
Dee trembled with the force of hatred beamed at her. As much as Dee acted tough, it was horrible to be treated like that. I pulled Dee closer; she didn’t resist.
“This doesn’t involve you,” I told Mother. “It’s my business.”
“If you don’t have that contract, you have nothing. I’ll organise for you to put that dirty dive bar on the market and —”
“And nothing. I’m not selling the club. The club is mine. The band is mine. I’m not coming home. Get that into your head.” I shook my head, trying to get things clear to myself before speaking more. I needed to make this final. “I’ll never come back. You have nothing I need. You think you’re protecting me but that’s not how it should be.”
Her eyes turned to steel. “Anything I did, I did to help you. You’d be rotting in some jail if it hadn’t been for me.”
“I’ve been rotting in the jail of my own guilt, don’t you understand that?”
She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, as though I was a child with no comprehension of the situation.
“You can leave now, or do you want me to call the police? You’re trespassing,” Dee said. “If you have any argument with Alex, you can do it elsewhere. I have no business with you.”
Wow, Dee could out-haughty my mother when she tried. That was impressive.
Mother harrumphed but picked up her bag. “This isn’t the end of it.”
“Yes, it is,” said Dee. “Your money means nothing here.”
Mother stepped toward me, tapping my cheek. I flinched away from her.
“Come
with me now or you’ll lose every bit of financial support we’ve given you. You’ll be on your own and we’ll never bail you out again.”
I knew my mother, and I knew that look in her eyes. She wasn’t joking. If I let her walk out that door, I’d never get a red cent from my parents again in my life. Not even a card for Christmas. It’d been the threat she’d used all my life: I’d be nothing without their money.
But now, when it came to the crunch, it was like a massive, crushing weight had been removed from my shoulders. I’d much rather face the future with my own power, even if that meant that I failed.
“Thanks, that’s all I ask for her,” I said.
She clenched her jaw.
“You’ll regret that. Your father has already been talking about your cousin, Phillip, being a more suitable successor. Once he makes that announcement, there’ll be no place for you. And I sure won’t be helping you out. Next time you get in trouble, deal with it yourself.”
I laughed. Phillip was welcome to it all. I had no desire to take anything from my parents. I’d been selfish and entitled but, in the end, that only lost me the things that mattered most.
“I hope you’ll be happy with that tramp,” she said. “She’s no better than her brother was, both of them problems to be eradicated.”
Dee rushed toward her but I grabbed her in my arms. It was better to let her go than to attack. It wouldn’t have surprised me to discover that Mother had just said that to get Dee angry.
Mother paused at the door.
“Leave. Now,” I said. “I never want to speak to you again.”
I didn’t let go of Dee. Her heart beat against mine, hard and fast. I held her until we heard the door slam and the car drive off down the street. I held until her body relaxed and her heart stopped pounding. Even then, I didn’t want to let her go.
Dee grinned. Hell, I had enough. I had more than enough. I had the most precious things in the world: my self-respect and this gorgeous woman. Nothing else mattered.
Dee
I couldn’t believe the things Alex had said. His mother was insane, that’s how it seemed to me. She tried to control him, but he’d stood by me. The way he held me kept me grounded.
I’d been about to lose my shit when his mother had been talking to me like that. Then she’d said that about Jake. I wanted to kill her. He was right to stop me from hitting her though. Her words couldn’t hurt me now.
When I’d kissed Alex, I thought he’d take me into his arms and kiss me to death, crush me with passion and never stop. Only, we’d kissed, and it’d been nice but then he’d pulled away. He held my hands in his and a slip of paper floated to the ground. I’d been so distracted by his mother, and then by him, that I’d forgotten I’d been holding that phone number. I’d crushed it into a ball in my hands. Hell, it was probably drenched with sweat after all that.
I hoped Alex hadn’t noticed but he bent to pick it up.
I snatched the paper off him and inhaled deeply. Would he be angry if I told him? No matter what, I had to be honest, though. This could ruin the frail thing between us.
“It’s the number of the dude at your music company. Matt? Sally got it for me. I was going to ring him and tell him you’d stolen the song.”
I kept my gaze on the floor, the filthy floor. Hell, when did we last mop? And why was I thinking about that when Alex would well walk out on me in disgust? He had nice shoes. Why didn’t he say anything?
Then he laughed. A strong laugh, rolling through his whole body.
I looked up at him. “What?”
“I guess I wrecked that.”
Slowly, I grinned back.
“So, what do you want to do with the song?” I asked Alex.
I never wanted to hear that song again. It represented everything that hurt in my world — Jake’s hidden life and his mistakes, Alex’s selfishness and my stupidity.
“Bury it. Bury deep in the ground with Jake. We have enough songs. We have enough talent, Dee. We don’t need a song that is just going to bring back bad memories.”
I nodded. That made the most sense. If we buried the song, we could start afresh.
When he said “we” though, I wasn’t sure if he meant “we” together or “we” as separate people. Writing the song with Alex had been fun. He could cut through all the shit in my mind and get to the important parts.
“What about your song?” he asked. “Have you finished it? I want to hear it.”
That’s what he wanted? Couldn’t he see that was the last thing I wanted? I wanted him to kiss me, hold me, ravish me. I sure as hell didn’t want a guitar pressed against my body, I wanted Alex.
I got my acoustic and sat down on the sofa. I’d not even played the song for Pete or Ferdie yet. I’d finished it a while ago but I wanted to make sure it was perfect.
“It’s not finished, and it’s not that great.”
“Just play it.”
I got started, keeping my head down. I want didn’t to look at him. It killed me to play that song. I realised just how much I needed his approval. I’d rather never let him listen to it than risk him hating it.
When I finished, I put the guitar down.
“It’s fantastic, Dee. There are a few things that need work but it has the seeds of something brilliant.”
Slowly, I raised my head to look at him. He wasn’t lying, I could tell that much. He’d liked my song. My heart fluttered. It did more than flutter, it swarmed and then took flight.
“It’s still pretty rough.” I took out my hair band, readjusting it. “I’m not sure if it has the feeling I want.”
“It feels like longing and sadness and despair, but beneath it all, there’s a sense of hope.”
I tried to stifle my smile. I didn’t want to look like I was full of myself but that was exactly what I wanted to convey.
Alex looked at me, really looked at me. I wanted to turn my gaze from him. He tore apart every inch of me, searching for something.
Shit, if I’d known all this drama was going to happen, I’d have at least put on clean pyjamas. I was a complete slob, and that was something Alex hated. No wonder he didn’t want to get close to me.
He sat down on the sofa beside me. I nibbled on my finger but he brushed my hand away from my mouth.
I wanted to move away but I couldn’t. His leg touched mine and I feared what would happen. A lust-fuelled groping had been one thing but now, after all, we’d gone through, I couldn’t get that close to him and then turn back. It had to be all or nothing.
The space between us shrunk, though. I wasn’t sure if that was my doing or his, or maybe the really crappy springs on Sally’s sofa. His breath tickled my neck and I had no idea what to do with my hands. I couldn’t move or this moment might shatter. I wanted him so much.
He reached over and traced his finger along my chin.
“There’s not a moment I haven’t regretted what I did,” he said.
“Which part?” I wasn’t sure if he was talking about Jake or us.
“All the parts. I’ve been haunted by Jake and then I thought I could use you to get absolution but that was wrong. I was wrong. You are so much more than that.”
He stroked my hair.
“I’m poor now,” he said. “How do you feel about dating a poor muso? I mean, I still have my cars and the club, I’m not exactly living on the street, and I have assets galore, mostly my face and body…”
“You idiot. Money is nothing.” My heart gave a thud. “Dating?”
“If that’s what you want. I can understand if you wanted nothing more to do with me. I’m not a good person. I’m probably the most horrible person you’ve ever met.”
“I’ve met your mother.”
“Point.”
His face was so close to mine now. If I poked out my tongue, I could lick him. Sweet Jesus, I should not think of licking him. Licking him would be bad.
Before I could totally humiliate myself though, his lips pressed against mine. My arms circled his n
eck. Our bodies crushed together. This was better than anything I’d imagined. It wasn’t about sex. Well, not completely. We were on the brink of something huge. So massive, my mind couldn’t comprehend it. And I wasn’t talking about Alex’s cock.
His hands toyed with my thigh, brushing against the sensitive skin, making me far too aware that I was only wearing my skimpy little sleep shorts. His fingers worked their way under the leg hem so that I gasped and raised my hips to him. This was it. Finally, Alex would fuck me and it’d be better than every single time I’d imagined him doing it.
I moved so that I straddled him. That way I could look into his eyes as he toyed with me. I brushed my lips against his but, downstairs, my hips were anything but gentle. His cock pressed hard against me and I rubbed myself on him, wanting him inside me.
He put his hands around my waist.
“Wow, you’re really gagging for it, aren’t you?”
“Hell yeah.”
His hands crept down under my waist band, cupping my buttocks and pushing me tighter against him, my heat against his hardness.
“Let’s move to the bedroom,” he whispered in my ear.
But it wasn’t my bedroom. It was Sally’s. Sally! Fuck, I’d forgotten this was Sally’s apartment — and that she’d be home from work soon. I pushed Alex’s hands away. That took every bit of self-restraint I had.
“We can’t. Not here.”
He looked at me questioningly as I pulled my shorts up.
“Sally will be home from the club soon and I don’t want her to walk in on this.” If I was Sally and I’d come home to someone fucking Alex in my bed, I’d kill them. My heart would be smashed and I knew, despite her protests, she wasn’t over Alex.
He nodded but didn’t say anything.
“Actually, it’s probably best if we keep things pretty low until she goes away. I’ll have a talk to her tonight and let her know how things stand but it’s only a few days and we can wait.”
I wasn’t sure how he’d take that but, if he really cared, a few days wouldn’t kill him. Or me.
Hopefully.
This aching need was not going to go away anytime soon. To be so close to him and have to hold back was the worst.
Rock Revenge: Alex's Story (Access All Areas Book 4) Page 15