“That is two questions,” Nikura pointed out. There was a long silence and Karma wondered if her sudden ability to hear them had vanished as quickly as it’d come.
“I have no choice but to stand it,” Nikura said, finally. “As to insanity, I’ve been there a handful of times over the centuries. It is a respite that never lasts very long.”
“And her?” Zakiel asked. “What must be the state of her sanity?”
“I am almost insulted, Highness,” Nikura said. “Do you think me less honorable than yourself?”
Her? Karma wondered. Her who?
There was another long silence while Zakiel thought about that, the only sound that of Karma’s own breathing. “She is not aware,” Zakiel guessed.
“No, she is not,” Nikura replied. “It is that fact, and that fact only, that allows me to endure.”
“I owe you an apology, Nikura,” Zakiel said. “I felt your...trepidation. Your loyalty to the Orb Quest is not in doubt, of course. But you are also hesitant. I assumed it was your own future you were reluctant to face. Now I see that it is hers.”
“Your apology is accepted, Highness,” Nikura said.
“May I ask another question?”
“Certainly,” Nikura replied, sounding more relaxed now.
“What is the connection between you, the Ti-Ank, and Karma?” Zakiel asked. “What compelled you to stay with her, in the beginning?”
Karma tensed. This was a question she’d like an answer to herself.
“That was Vatra’s idea,” Nikura said. “He was...concerned...that my mind would break, and sought to make sure that I had no choice but to aid in this quest.”
“Is it that connection which makes you care about Karma?”
“Yes, and no,” Nikura replied. “Tell me, Highness, if you did not love her, would you not still need the Lady Techu for the Orb Quest?”
“It is not possible for me to think of not loving Karma,” Zakiel said. “I understand what you’re saying, though.”
“The connection is forced by Vatra’s magic,” Nikura said. “My feelings for Karma are not. There is much to admire in her.”
“Yes, there is,” Zakiel replied. “Thank you for answering my questions Nikura.”
“You’re welcome, Highness.”
Karma smiled to herself. She was very fond of Nikura, but, like Zakiel, hadn’t been sure of the foundation of his feelings toward her.
“Nikura, I understand the evasive actions taken a thousand years ago to save Rathira. However, you should know that I do not intend to copy them.”
Karma frowned. What did he mean by that?
“Meaning?” Nikura asked.
Thank you, Nikura, she thought.
“Meaning that my goal is not to retrieve the pyramid and send it back,” Zakiel said. “It is to retrieve the pyramid, and destroy any possibility that the demons, or the Djinn, will ever gain access to Rathira. I will not leave this same problem for the children of my children to deal with in another thousand years.”
“I thank you, Highness,” Nikura said simply, but Karma felt the Sphin’s nearly overwhelming emotion. Relief. Joy. Sadness.
Karma opened her eyes at the sound of the door opening, and turned to watch Zakiel step inside the Argiari bath house. Their tent had been set up so that it connected the bath house to the dwelling she and Zakiel were using, as well as another dwelling that Kapia was using.
“Are you ready?” Zakiel asked after bending to kiss her.
“Yes, I am,” she said, deciding not to tell either Nikura or Zakiel about her eavesdropping. She wanted more time to think on what she’d heard. “Thank you, Lashi.”
Lashi blushed, as she often did when Karma thanked her. Karma still had hope that she’d one day get used to it.
Zakiel picked her up, positioning his arm carefully so as to avoid the worst of the wounds on her back that were still healing. He studied her face with a frown as he carried her out of the bath house, across the tent and into their own sleeping chamber. He set her carefully on the bed and knelt in front of her.
“To use your words, let’s have it,” he said.
“Have what?” Karma asked innocently. Did he know she’d heard them speaking?
“Please, valia,” Zakiel said. “You’ve had something on your mind all day long. It is time to tell me what it is.”
Oh, Karma thought. That.
“Zakiel, I’m not sure you’re ready for this,” she said. “I really think you should let me pick my own time to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
Karma rolled her eyes. “Nice try.”
Zakiel stared at her for a long moment, then sighed softly. “I’m sorry, Karma,” he said. “Under normal circumstances, I would bow to your wishes. But these are not normal circumstances. I cannot force you to tell me whatever it is you’re hiding, nor will I try to. But I will tell you, without exaggeration, that I will imagine the worst, and it will eat at me each and every moment until you do tell me.”
Karma looked into Zakiel’s worried blue eyes and gave in. He had been so tense and stressed ever since her abduction by the harpies. Never had she seen him like this for such a long period of time, but when she tried to imagine herself in his place, she couldn’t help but understand.
“All right,” she said. “Brace yourself.”
“It’s bad news?” he asked.
“No, it isn’t bad news,” Karma said. “But it is...shocking news.”
“I am braced,” Zakiel said, so tense that every muscle bulged and trembled. This was not going the way Karma had wanted, but she couldn’t turn back now.
“Do you remember when I told you that we were going to have a child?”
“Of course,” Zakiel replied, frowning. “Do you think I would forget such a thing?”
“No, it’s not that,” Karma said. “It’s just that I wasn’t exactly...correct.”
“I do not understand,” Zakiel said. “Do you mean to say that we are not going to have a child?”
“What I mean to say is we are going to have two children,” Karma said.
“Two,” Zakiel said, stunned. “Twins?”
“Yes, twins,” Karma said, unable to read the expression on his face. He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes giving away nothing. Then he leapt to his feet and paced the room before returning to his knees in front of her.
“You are certain?” he asked, his voice hoarse with an emotion she couldn’t quite identify.
“Yes, I am certain,” Karma said. “As certain as I can be without modern medicine to confirm it.”
“How do you know?” Zakiel asked. “Please, do not be offended. I just want to know. Please.”
“Tiari told me this morning that she now sees two lights inside of me,” Karma said, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth in spite of her worry. “When I reached for them myself, I felt them. Two separate, distinct beings.”
Zakiel pulled her into his arms so fast she wasn’t aware he was going to do it until it was done. She felt his body trembling against hers and she began to seriously worry. “What is wrong, Zakiel?” she asked. “Are you unhappy?”
“Unhappy?” Zakiel asked in surprise, pulling back to look at her. “Why...no, don’t answer that,” he said ruefully. “No, valia, I am not unhappy. I am astounded, thrilled, excited, terrified, but nowhere near unhappy.”
Karma sighed in relief. “How about you?” he asked. “Are you unhappy?”
“No,” Karma replied. “I admit I’m a little worried. Medicine here on Rathira is somewhat less advanced than it is where I’m from. But no, as you said, I’m nowhere near unhappy.”
Zakiel pulled her close again, then stood up and turned around before lying down on the bed with her. “Valia, do you imagine that I would ever allow even the slightest risk to your health if there is anything I can do to prevent it?” he asked, his voice gently chiding.
“No, I know that you wouldn’t,” Karma said. “But there is nothing you can do ab
out this, Zakiel.”
“That is not true,” Zakiel said. “The Welfare ship comes every year, but I clearly recall Captain Singer agreeing to come in six months to check on you. When she comes, we will have her physician examine you. If necessary, we will go to Jasan, or anywhere you like, to have our children.”
“I never thought of that,” Karma said, feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted from her. “Thank you, Zakiel. That does make me feel better.”
“It makes me feel better too,” Zakiel said.
Karma laid her head back down against Zakiel’s shoulder and relaxed for the first time all day. She hadn’t realized how tense she’d been until the tension left her. Her eyes closed and she felt herself drift off to sleep, warm and safe in Zakiel’s arms.
***
Tomas carried Tiari from the women’s tent, where Caral and Kapia had prepared her for this very special night, into the Argiari personal dwelling that had been set aside for their use. Tomas was very pleased that they had solid walls around them on this, their wedding night, rather than the thin walls of a tent.
He set Tiari on a cushioned stool before the hearth, then went to stir up the fire that Timon had started earlier. He added a heavy log to it, then turned to the table where refreshments had been laid out for them, checking to be sure all of Tiari’s favorites were there, as he’d requested. Then he turned toward his new wife and knelt on the floor in front of her so that they were eye to eye, even though she could not see him since the sun had set.
He smiled happily as he watched her finger the delicate, gold filigree marriage bracelets on her wrists, one set with brilliant fire opals, the other with diamonds. “Do you like them?” he asked, touching one lightly so that she would know what he was talking about.
“I love them,” she said. “Thank you for giving me your mother’s bracelets, Tomas. It means so much to me.”
“Thank you for accepting them,” Tomas said. “I was worried you’d think they were too old fashioned.”
“How would I know the difference between old fashioned and new?” she asked with a laugh. “Such distinctions are meaningless to me, Tomas. I think these bracelets are beautiful. That they also belonged to your mother makes them even more precious to me.”
“Thank you, Tiari-mena.” He leaned in to kiss her and she jumped just a little, then smiled in apology. “Are you afraid?” he asked.
“Not afraid,” she said. “From what we’ve done before I know not to be afraid. But this will be different, and I’m a little bit nervous.”
“So am I,” he admitted.
“Why are you nervous?” she asked.
“Because we will soon join together for the first time,” Tomas said. “There will only be one first time. If it does not go well, it can never be taken back.”
“You are worried it will not go well?” Tiari asked, her nerves suddenly ratcheting up.
“I worry that I will fail to make it perfect for you,” Tomas said.
Tiari smiled. “I already have perfect, Tomas. You have joined your life to mine. You have promised to love me forever, and you have accepted my promise to do the same. What could be more perfect?”
Tomas’s heart seemed to swell in his chest, so full of love and happiness he had to keep reminding himself it was real. He reached up and placed his hands gently on either side of Tiari’s face before leaning in to capture her mouth with his own.
She was so soft, so sweet, so hot, that his entire body shuddered as her tongue tangled delicately with his. He turned his head just a bit, adjusting the angle so that he could kiss her more deeply. He felt her small hands against his chest, and groaned. He had never imagined such need could exist, had never felt anything like he felt at that moment. As though his entire life had come down to this one woman, this special, never to be forgotten day, this first kiss between them as husband and wife.
Tiari felt so many things all at once it was overwhelming. Her mind, heart, and body were so full she couldn’t decide what to focus on. Finally she decided not to think of anything. She would follow Karma’s advice to relax, feel, and trust her new husband.
Tomas rested his forehead against hers while they both struggled to catch their breath. “Would you like some wine?” he asked.
“The fermented juice?” Tiari asked, wrinkling her nose.
“Yes,” Tomas said, smiling. “It will help you to relax.”
“Is it necessary?” Tiari asked doubtfully.
“No, love, it is not necessary,” Tomas said. “It might be helpful though.”
“Why?” she asked, curious as ever.
“I know that Karma explained the physical aspects of what we will do this night,” he said.
“Yes, she did,” Tiari replied, blushing a very becoming shade of pink.
“It can be difficult for a woman the first time,” Tomas said. “Much care must be taken to prepare her, otherwise she may experience pain.”
“Karma said that some degree of pain the first time is expected,” Tiari said.
“Yes, but the intensity of the pain can be controlled to some extent,” Tomas said. “It is my duty, and my desire, to see to it that you experience as little pain as possible.”
“And drinking fermented juice will aid in this?” she asked.
“It may help you to relax,” Tomas said again. “Relaxing is crucial for you. The more relaxed you are, the more pleasure you will experience, and the less pain you will feel.”
“Very well, Husband,” she said. “I will follow your advice.”
Tomas laughed in surprise at the sound of his new title. “Do you know, Wife, that I spent many years working hard to attain the rank of knight so that I would be addressed as Sir. And yet, hearing you call me Husband just now brought me more pleasure and happiness than all of the times I’ve ever been called Sir combined. I’m afraid you shall have to call me Husband often.”
“As long as you frequently call me Wife, I don’t think that will be a hardship,” Tiari said, her eyes shining.
He got to his feet and poured two glasses of the wine Zakiel had presented him with earlier as a wedding gift. He gave one glass to Tiari, and knelt down on the floor again in front of her.
“May I ask you a question?” Tiari asked after sipping her wine.
“Of course,” Tomas said. “You may ask me anything you like.”
“This is not really any of my business,” Tiari said hesitantly. “I have struggled with this ever since Karma explained...certain things to me. One day I decide it is not my concern, that I have no right to ask. The next day, I feel differently. Now that we are here, before we...go further, I find that I must know.”
“Ask your question, Tiari,” Tomas said, a cold feeling of dread creeping up his spine. He had been truly afraid of only one thing this night. He now saw it coming straight at him, and there was nothing he could do to avoid it.
“This act which we are about to engage in,” she said, then paused, her cheeks going pink again. “I’m sorry, I do not know what it is called.”
“We will discuss that later, my love,” he said. “Please, go on.”
“Have you done this before, Tomas?” she asked, her voice starting out normal and dropping to a whisper on the last word, his name.
Tomas felt a sharp stab of guilt and accepted it as his due. He did not want to hurt Tiari, but he would not lie to her. “Yes, I have.”
The expression of pain on her face made him wish he’d lied, after all.
“You have loved another woman?” she asked.
“No,” he replied firmly. “I have never loved another woman, Tiari mine. You are the only woman I have ever loved, the only one I ever will love.”
“Then, why?” she asked in surprised confusion. “Was there another woman you wished to share children with?”
“No, never,” he said, trying to think of a way to explain. He realized that he could give her a simple explanation, and an apology, and she would accept it without question. Tiari was generous
in her forgiveness. But he wanted her to understand him, and for that she needed to know the truth.
“I wanted to feel loved,” he said, the words nearly choking him as he forced them from his lips. Once they were out, he had to pause a moment to compose himself. “I could give you a long story, and a string of excuses, but in the end, that’s the truth of it. I wanted to feel loved, even if it was for only a few moments with someone I barely knew, and would never see again.”
Tomas drained his glass, then stood up to refill it. “It didn’t work, of course. I wonder now how I could have been so foolish as to think it would. After a few tries, I gave up, and have not repeated the experience. I was seventeen then, so that was twelve years ago.”
“What if you are disappointed again, with me?” Tiari asked nervously.
Tomas returned to kneel before her and took her hands carefully in his. “That can’t happen, Tiari-mena.”
“How do you know?”
“I’m a good deal older now, and much wiser,” Tomas said. “I’ve spent years searching for answers. I haven’t found all of them, but I have learned a few things along the way.”
“Such as?”
“For one thing, I’ve learned that having sex with a person you don’t love is a purely physical act that results in momentary physical pleasure. Like drinking a cup of stale, warm water when you are thirsty. It suffices to ease the thirst, but no more than that.
“On the other hand, sex with someone you love, the one person in all the world who means the most to you, that is a far different thing.”
“In what way?” Tiari asked, intrigued.
“What we do will not be a quick coming together of the body,” Tomas said, his voice taking on a note of wonder. “When we join together, Tiari-mena, it will be with our hearts, minds, and souls, as well as our bodies. We will connect with each other in a way that only two people who truly love each other can achieve. It will change us a little more each and every time we join, bringing us closer and closer together until we are intertwined so tightly with one another that we can never be separated again. Not in this life, nor in the beyond.”
“That sounds beautiful Tomas,” Tiari whispered. “I want that, very much.”
Quest for the Sun Orb Page 35