Amy eyed her sister as she removed her wet boots and reached for a pair of dry shoes. At 28, Audrey was only three years older than Amy, but Amy thought she looked much younger… and far more attractive.
Both sisters had the same copper-colored hair, bright green eyes, and pale skin. But, Audrey’s pale skin was much softer and clearer. She didn’t have scores of freckles like her younger sister—nor did she have any other marks similar to those that marred her sister’s body.
“I’m sorry,” Amy repeated. “If you like, I can run back out to the market.”
“Don’t bother,” Audrey said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll try to muster up something else for dessert. And, I’ll be sure to tell Clarence it was your fault he didn’t get his custard, not mine. Heaven knows I don’t want to disappoint him.”
Amy nodded her head and smiled at her sister. She knew that, despite whatever Audrey said, there was no way Audrey could disappoint Clarence. The man was absolutely smitten with her and loved her unconditionally. He would do anything to please her, which is how Amy had come to live with them in the first place. All Audrey had to do was tell Clarence that she wanted Amy to live with them, and, like magic, it happened.
As soon as Amy was done changing shoes, she stood up and walked past Audrey, toward the back of the house. “I’ll be in my room, if you need me,” she said. “And, I’ll stay in there all day and night, to give you and Clarence privacy.”
Audrey did not reply to Amy, though she looked at her derisively as she made her way to her quarters.
Once Amy was in her room, she removed her sweater, sat down on her cot, and began to loosen the buttons on her long-sleeved blouse. As she pulled back her sleeves, she glanced down at her arms and began to cry uncontrollably. The events of the day overwhelming here.
Not only had she been terrified by the scene in the alley, but she’d also felt bullied by her sister. Now she felt guilty for spoiling her anniversary dinner—and felt even worse about her other less than pure feeling.
Though Amy was loath to admit it, she was jealous of Audrey. She didn’t envy her beauty, but, rather, where that superior beauty had gotten her. It had gotten her out of their family home in the tenements of Boston and into a luxurious house in New York, married to a rich, handsome banker who catered to her every need and desire.
Once upon a time, Amy wanted such things for her life as well. In fact, she still wanted those things and more. In her younger years, she’d dreamed of a life full of learning, travel, and adventure. But, she’d set those dreams—and all others she’d had—aside two years ago, when she gave up her own personal interests and took on a job at a local factory to help support her parents, who’d both been laid off from work during post-Civil war cutbacks.
Amy squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop her tears and snuff out her feelings. In addition to being jealous of Audrey, she also harbored a great deal of resentment toward her. She knew she should be ashamed but the negative feelings still lingered.
Two years ago, right after Amy got the job at the factory, Audrey left Boston—and her struggling family—without a word and ran off to New York to marry Clarence, whom she’d secretly been communicating with since they met during his business trip to Boston several months earlier.
She just left us, Amy thought to herself. Abandoned us. Mother and Father needed help, and she ran away to take care of herself, leaving me to take care of them. If she’d stuck around and helped out, things would be so much different—so much better. I wouldn’t be dependent on her, and maybe I, too, would now be happy and married.
As per that last thought, Amy huffed when she had it. Although she was still young and wanted to marry, she knew, quite frankly, that it would never happen. She knew that no man would ever want her—and, in part, she blamed Audrey for it.
Amy threw her body on the bed and buried her head in her pillow. She wanted desperately to silence her mind with it, but, alas, she couldn’t. She kept thinking of the past and how it affected her future, and she felt a pressing bitterness against her sister.
After stewing in her thoughts for a while longer, Amy began to feel very tired. Her emotions had exhausted her and pushed her to her limits. As she drifted off to sleep, she tried to think more positive thoughts—to no avail.
If only Audrey had stuck around to help us, she thought to herself right before slumber hit her, our parents would still be alive… and I wouldn’t be such a monster.
TWO
The dream started like it always did. Someone shouted “Fire!” Amy started tossing and turning, but even in her slumber she knew she would have to relive the entire event before she could wake up…
An old, thin man scurried around the corner. “Fire just down the road, in the tenements!” he shrieked in a shrill voice.
Amy opened her mouth to ask the old man which tenements, but, before she could get a word out, he flew past her like a swiftly moving winged animal.
Amy’s heart started to flutter; she picked up her pace; and she began running towards the corner. Just as she turned it, her fluttering heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. Indeed, there was a fire blazing in the distance, at the end of a long road, in the southern tenements, where Amy—and her parents—lived.
“Dear Lord,” she cried out, running toward the inferno as clusters of people ran past her in the opposite direction. “Please let my parents be safe!”
The Heavenly Father surely heard Amy’s prayers. But, unfortunately, He did not hear them in time. Just as Amy arrived near the tenement, she learned that her parents were still inside.
“Yer father fell in the hallway,” Mrs. Johansen, Amy’s elderly neighbor told her when Amy encountered her on the street and asked if she’d seen her parents. “And, yer mother’s in there, tryin’ to help him. They was still up the third floor last I seen ‘em, which weren’t too long ago. I reckon they’s on the steps now.”
Without so much as a thought, let alone pause or reservation, Amy turned and ran to the burning building. She ran in through the doorway, to the entrance of the stairwell—and, when she looked up, lo and behold, there were her parents, struggling to make their way down the flight of stairs between the first and second floors.
“I’m coming!” Amy shouted, stepping onto the stairway.
“No, no!” her mother cried back. “Forget about us! Save yourself!”
“Get out of here, girl!” her father demanded.
Though Amy was generally a good girl who abided by her parents, she completely disregarded their instructions and continued to the staircase. But, no sooner than she placed her foot on the third step, a fiery beam fell down before her.
Amy tried to maneuver around the beam as the fire from it licked out toward her in a serpent-like fashion—and, just when she thought she’d found a clear spot, another burning beam fell from somewhere above.
Amy looked past the burning beams and got one last glimpse of her parents before the stairs collapsed beneath them. They fell into a fiery mess, and Amy turned her head just as the flames began to consume them.
But, when Amy turned her head, she saw another burning beam falling—and, it wasn’t just falling from somewhere above. It was falling from directly above, and, just as Amy moved to avoid it, it fell directly on top of her, pinning her, chest-down, to the ground.
If only Audrey had been here, she thought to herself as she prepared for death. She could have helped our parents get out in time.
The scene shifted and she was waking up in the hospital. It was six weeks later, and she’d been in a comatose slumber. When she asked how she made it to the hospital, she was told that a man named Shaky Jake—a vagrant who hung around the tenements—saw her running toward the burning building and followed after to help. He caught up with her just as the burning beam fell on her, and he managed to roll it off of her and drag her out of the building.
Shaky Jake and Amy were both found unconscious and badly injured on the side of the road, and were taken to the hospital by medical
carriage. Unfortunately, Shaky Jake died several days after arriving. But Amy lived on—though, when she saw what the fire had done to her, part of her secretly, yet sincerely, wished she hadn’t.
The burning beam that had fallen on Amy during the fire had burned her body very, very badly, and it left her entire back, the back of her neck, and both of her arms severely scarred. Her flesh was warped and wrinkled in those areas; it was scaly and leather-like—and, when Amy first saw it, she was terrified and sickened by the nature and extent of the damage.
“I look hideous!” she screamed.
“No you don’t,” one of the nurses said.
“At least you’re alive,” the other added.
The two nurses were each holding a mirror, at opposite angles, so that Amy could see the marks on the back of her body. As Amy examined the ghastly sight, she realized that complaining to them was futile.
If only Audrey had been here, she said to herself. She could have helped our parents get out in time, and, then, I wouldn’t have had to run into the burning building to save them. The beam wouldn’t have fallen on me. I wouldn’t have these scars. I wouldn’t look like this.
If only Audrey had stuck around to help us, she thought, our parents would still be alive… and I wouldn’t be such a monster.
“Wake up!” someone shouted.
“Get up,” the voice repeated in the same commanding manner. “I need to talk to you.”
Amy opened her eyes, rolled over onto her side, and looked around the room worriedly. She was unsure of where—and when—she was. But, as soon as she appraised the confines of her room and saw her sister in the doorway, Amy realized that she was in New York, far away from the tenements of Boston, and just over a year removed from the fire that had killed her parents.
“Yes?” Amy inquired, sitting up in bed. She smoothed her hands over her hair, then immediately pulled down her sleeves and buttoned them, to hide her scars.
Audrey winced when she saw her sister’s disfigured skin, and she did nothing to hide her reaction. Even though Amy had been staying in her house for approximately nine months now, Audrey was still not used to the sight of the scars, especially since Amy went to every effort to hide them beneath superfluously long, thick, heavy clothing.
“Today is my special day with Clarence,” Audrey said. “And, I wasn’t going to let you interfere with it. But, since you already have, I figure I might as well be bothered with you anyhow… I need to talk with you about something very time-sensitive and important.”
“Alright,” Amy replied, crossing her legs and looking at her sister curiously.
“When the hospital in Boston sent word that you were injured in a fire,” Audrey began, “I felt very bad and wanted to do right by you. So, I arranged for you to come live here with me and Clarence.
“But, I thought your stay here would be temporary. I thought you would stay here until you were physically—and mentally—able make a life on your own.”
Amy took a deep breath and nodded. She did not like where this conversation was going.
“You have been here for nine months now,” Audrey continued. “And, in that time, you have made no effort to do anything other than mope around this house. You have neither tried to find a job, nor attempted to do anything about your disposition and appearance so that you can find a husband. You seem to have settled into complacency here and are taking advantage of the luxuries my life has afforded, which you have not earned through any skills or attributes of your own.”
“But, Audrey—” Amy started.
“It is my belief that, if you stay here, you will never make a life for yourself,” Audrey said, ignoring her sister’s interjection. “So, with that in mind, I decided to take action. Since you weren’t going to make a life for yourself, I decided to make one for you.”
Audrey reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a collection of envelopes.
“A few months ago, I came across a copy of Matrimonial Gazette,” Audrey explained. “It’s a newspaper tailored for matrimonial arrangements via correspondence. I perused the advertisements, and, much to my joy, found one that looked very promising.”
“A 29-year-old cowboy named Joshua Fuller was looking for a bride who could provide companionship and help on his ranch in a small town outside of Parks, Arizona. I replied to his ad, using your name, and have been communicating with him ever since.
“In his last letter, he asked for your hand in marriage—and, writing as you, I replied and accepted his proposal.”
Amy shook her head in disbelief. She couldn’t believe that any man would want to marry her, and, on top of that, she couldn’t believe that Audrey had perpetrated such a fraud and communicated on her behalf without even telling, let alone asking, her.
“Your train leaves in two days,” Audrey furthered, reaching into her pocket again. She pulled out another set of folded papers. “Your travel arrangements have already been made and paid for.”
Audrey flashed the train ticket in front of Amy’s face, and Amy stared at it, astonished.
“Please,” Amy said plaintively, “if this is about me dropping the eggs and milk today, I promise, it won’t happen again. I’ll be more mindful from now on, I swear. You don’t have to send me away and—”
“This isn’t about the milk and eggs, Amy,” Audrey interrupted. “This is about you and you moving forward.” For the first time in ages, perhaps ever, there was something soft and caring in Audrey’s voice.
“Think what you will of me,” Audrey continued. “But, I am not doing this to be selfish, unkind, or vengeful. I’m doing this because I love you.”
“The entire reason I allowed you to come here in the first place was to help you. But, now, staying here isn’t helping you anymore. It’s hurting you. Each day you spend holed up in this house, is one more day you lose at living the kind of life you deserve and always dreamed of.”
“Joshua Fuller can give you that life. He can give you companionship, purpose, and family. If you want these things, this is your chance—and, unless you want to end up alone, begging on the streets, you must take it.”
Amy did, in fact, want these things, but, nonetheless, given her condition, she was apprehensive. “Does he know about my… scars?” she asked sheepishly.
“I didn’t mentioned them,” Audrey replied, “just as he didn’t mention whatever imperfections he may have. But, in any event, they are of no matter. Joshua wrote that looks are not important to him—and, even if they were, once he sees your face and discovers your character, he will love you for those attributes and won’t mind the scars so much.”
Amy was both shocked and flattered that her sister had given her a compliment. But, alas, she was still wary of the arrangement—and, Audrey could sense it. What if the cowboy was ugly or a ruffian…that said, she was no prize. Her thoughts were in turmoil.
So, Audrey did what was necessary. She swiftly shifted gears and went from being soft and caring back to being harsh, holier-than-thou, and condescending.
“Your stay at my house is through,” Audrey said coldly. “And in two days, you will leave. You can go to Arizona, or you can take up a life as beggar—the choice is yours.”
With that, Audrey walked out of the room, and Amy knew better than to try and stop her. She knew there was no point in challenging Audrey in any way, and accepted the finality of her decision. When Audrey made up her mind, she made up her mind, and there was no changing it—so, if she wanted Amy out of her house in two days’ time, indeed, that’s what would happen. And, if Amy was to be kicked out, she figured she might as well go to Arizona, as it seemed a much better option than becoming a beggar.
So, though it came as a complete, and unwelcome, surprise to her, Amy accepted that she was bound for Arizona. She would go there and meet this Joshua Fuller fellow as expected, and she’d try to win him over using her pretty face and good nature. Then, after they were lawfully wed, she’d show him her scars… and hope that he took pity on her.
THREE
Joshua Fuller paced back and forth outside of the train station. He didn’t know exactly what to expect by way of his bride-to-be, but he was very eager—and nervous—to meet her. Her train was set to arrive within the hour, and, as Joshua continued to wear away at the earth with his incessant walking, he strained both his eyes and ears for any sign of a locomotive on the horizon.
“Is that it?” Joshua asked, squinting his eyes and gazing into the distance.
“Sure looks like it to me,” his friend and neighbor Robert Miller said, patting him hard on the shoulder.
“Looks like it to me, too,” Portia, Robert’s wife added, walking toward the men. “And, it looks like your bride will be here very soon.”
Joshua smiled and nodded, then turned, stared down at the ground, and returned to pacing. Though he walked slowly, both his heart and mind were racing, and he tried to steady them both by reflection and prayer.
As he prayed to the Heavenly Father, Joshua first thanked God for the Millers. Robert and Portia had been very good to him since he first arrived in Parks, and they were very supportive to Joshua after everything that happened to him nearly two years earlier. And, now that Joshua was set to marry Amy, they were being very supportive again. They’d voluntarily offered to host Amy and have her stay at their house until the wedding, which, because of other town activities, was not slated to occur for another 10 days—and, they’d also voluntarily offered to serve as chaperones when Joshua picked Amy up from the train station.
Indeed, the Millers had been great friends and helpers, and Joshua greatly appreciated them. After thanking God, for the Millers, he next thanked God for giving him the strength to move on with his life after the horrible things that happened while he was married to his previous wife, Lucy—and he begged God not to let any of those things happen again.
In fact, Joshua didn’t just beg God to help him, he’d done things, on his own, to help himself and make sure that the incidents that happened with Lucy were not repeated.
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