As You Wish

by Jude Deveraux

  “I know.” He took her hand.

  Olivia was feeling too bad to do anything but go with him. She’d had days of little sleep and endless misery. No one would listen to her or believe her. Even on small things like saying they needed to check the gas lines in the basement, she’d been told to mind her own business. And through every hang up, every warning, she’d thought how all this was happening because of Kit. Was it worth it? Must her future depend on him? Wasn’t there another choice? An alternative?

  Tears of anger were blocking her vision, but she saw that he had led her to the pond.

  On the side were the big towels they brought out for their twice-daily swims, but no one else was there. She had an idea that the men were keeping the children inside. Away from me, she thought. Me and my bad temper.

  Kit gave her a very sweet smile. “Feeling better?”

  She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. “I am, but it doesn’t change anything.”

  Still smiling, Kit made a lightning-fast move as he bent, picked her up, then twirled around and threw her. Like a human spear, Olivia went sailing through the air to land in the deepest part of the pond. The force of Kit’s thrust sent her underwater. She hadn’t been expecting the plunge and she fought hard to get to the surface.

  When she came up, Kit was there beside her, treading water.

  “You bastard!” She started swimming to the bank, but Kit caught her ankle. “Let go of me!”

  “I have some cousins who—”

  “Yeah, I know,” Olivia said angrily. “We’re married, remember? I know your whole family.” Her skirt was wrapping around her legs and she didn’t like treading water.

  “In the year twenty-something, right? But that couldn’t be. The world ends at the year 2000.”

  “It doesn’t even screw up the computer clocks. I need to get back to feed the kids.”

  “You haven’t thought about any of us for the last few days, so why bother now? As I was saying, I have some cousins, a bunch of earth-bound creatures, who say we Montgomerys are part fish. I can stay out here all day, and we will, until you agree to tell me everything.”

  “Okay, I’ll tell you.” She started toward the bank, but again he caught her ankle and pulled her back to him. She closed her lips tight and didn’t speak.

  “At first, I didn’t mind it when you called me a worthless boy. I knew you were overwhelmed with lust for me, so—”

  “I was no such thing!”

  “It’s all right as the feeling was mutual. I figured you’d come around eventually.”

  “Ha!”

  He went underwater and came up on the other side of her. “You did come around. And around.” He paddled in a circle, surrounding her. “And around. And around.”

  “Okay!” Some of her anger was leaving her. “The sex was good. I admit it. But there’s more to being together than sex.”

  “Trust? Honesty? Sharing things?”

  She glared at him. “Like you told me what you were doing for your country? You know what you told me?”

  “In the future, you mean? When we’re married?” He was laughing at her.

  “Yes! Then. You said you were an idiot for thinking that your country was more important than I was.”

  Kit stopped paddling and he lost that smirky expression.

  Olivia smiled. “Sounds like you, doesn’t it? Just so you know, you don’t get back from Libya until three years later and it’s in a medic plane. Takes you a year to recover and the military no longer wants you.”

  Kit looked so devastated that she almost felt sorry for him. Almost. She swam to the bank, got out, and grabbed a towel.

  “I want to hear it all,” he said from behind her.

  “You won’t listen. No one does. In the last few days I’ve concocted more lies than I have in my whole life. I was trying to save lives—except that it was all a lie. I...” She sat down on the ground, the towel around her shoulders, and looked out at the water. When she spoke, her voice was quiet. “You and I were so polite to each other. We made a pact to never talk about all the bad we’d been through, all that we’d missed by being apart.”

  “When was this?” Kit sat beside her and began rubbing her back with the towel.

  “After we were married. By then, you were so famous and—”

  “Please no,” he said.

  “Not like George and Amal famous but—” When he looked confused, she waved her hand. “You’re famous inside the political world. You solve problems for whole countries. It’s just that you couldn’t solve your own life. You greatly disliked your first wife. Rowan said...” She didn’t finish.

  He’d stopped rubbing. “I married someone other than you?”

  The disbelief in his voice was so honest that she looked at him. His lip was bleeding again. “After Libya, you came here to Summer Hill. You saw me but you thought I was married and had had another man’s child. Your pride didn’t allow you to ask anyone in town the truth. But...” She looked back at the pond. “But then, I still hated you for leaving me. I’m sure that if you had shown up, I would have pushed a refrigerator over on you.”

  “I would never leave you,” he said. “If they came to get me, I’d let you know where I was.”

  “You did. Sort of. You left a note and the ring in the well house, but I didn’t see them. I couldn’t bear to go back...back there.”

  Kit put his arm around Olivia and pulled her head onto his shoulder. “I want to hear it all. From the beginning. Every word. What happened the day they came to get me?”

  “I went to Richmond,” she said. “I was angry at you because I’d slipped up the day before and said I love you. You said nothing in return. You were silent.”

  “Because I didn’t love you?” he asked.

  “I thought that then, but no.” She took a deep breath. “You had your grandmother’s ring and you were going to ask me to marry you before you left.”

  He was nodding in understanding. “But while you were in Richmond, they came to get me. When you saw that I was gone, you were so angry that you didn’t see the note I’d hidden in the well house. Do I have that right?”

  “Yes.”

  “What did the note say?”

  “You asked me to wait for you, to marry you, and to go to your parents.”

  “But as I understand it, your pride—and that temper of yours—as well as your lack of faith in me, kept you from seeing the note.”

  The last of Olivia’s anger left her. It hurt too much to blame herself for what had happened. It was one thing to joke about her stupidity in not believing in him, but another to see how many lives she’d hurt with her stubborn pride.

  “I could have called,” he said. “I’m sure they let me call my parents before I left. My dad has a lot of power in parts of the world. I should have called. And sneaked out to send you a letter.”

  She knew that he was taking the blame onto himself. Blame for something that hadn’t happened yet—and now never would.

  “Who is Rowan?”

  “Your son. He’s an FBI agent and you want him to be with pretty little Stacy, who is one of Ace’s many daughters, but she likes Nate Taggert better. You’ve been very upset about that.”

  Kit was looking at her in shock. “These things sound real.”

  “They are real. You bought River House for me because you and I had such a good time there. Besides, I have to open an office. I should register at the University of Virginia to study psychology.” She looked at him. “But if I don’t marry you, I don’t need to do any of that.”

  He kissed her forehead. “Of course you’ll marry me. Otherwise our daughter won’t have a father. So let’s start at the beginning. I left you a heartfelt note and a beautiful ring and you were too stubborn to look for them. Go on from there.”

  Olivia started to protest,
but as he so often did, Kit was trying to make her laugh. “We came back from Richmond and you were gone,” she began.

  “Wait! About...” He ran his hand through his thick black hair. “In the future am I...?”

  “Bald?” She at last gave a bit of a smile. “Your hair is as thick as it is now, and it’s a magnificent shade of silver gray. You are always and forever a beautiful man.”

  “To you or the rest of the world?”

  “To me. Other women find you repulsive.”

  Kit snorted in laughter. “Okay. Go on. Tell me all the horrible things I haven’t done to you. But if you can find time, I’d like to hear about the computers you keep mentioning. And who is Google? We’ve been hearing you complain about how much you need him. Should I be jealous?”

  “I was...” Olivia started to tell him of the pain she’d been through as she carried his child, about what Alan had done to her, about... But she stopped. He was right. It no longer mattered what had happened in the past. It was now that was important. And this time around, she didn’t want to do everything alone. She didn’t want to bear a child alone. Didn’t want to have to deal with men like Alan and have to cope with her stepson and his wife. And right now, she didn’t want to continue trying to deal with the 1970s. Keep the music of these years, she thought, but ditch the I-don’t-get-involved attitude.

  She wasn’t sure what this new future held, but it was as Kit said the night after Uncle Freddy hadn’t drowned in the pond: “Right now, today, this minute, we have everything to be happy about.”

  When she spoke, it wasn’t about what had happened to make her life miserable. “You are a great lover of technology,” she said. “I like emails but you love all of it. You text and twitter and emoji, whatever. When my laptop makes me so angry that I want to drive a car over it, you fix it in about ten minutes.”

  He stretched out beside her. “I think I like this story better than Harry Potter. Does this one have any music?”

  Olivia laughed. It didn’t matter that some stories were real and some made up. If they hadn’t happened yet, they might as well all be fantasy.

  “Mind if the kids hear this one?” Kit asked. “Maybe you can tell them more about their future lives. What about Ace’s daughters? How many does he have? Oh, wait. Better not go there. Too many women.”

  “He doesn’t go to bed with the mothers.”

  “Please tell me they didn’t fix that in the future.” He gave a low whistle, and like the Munchkins appearing in the Emerald City, the men and the kids came into view. “Come on,” Kit said. “I’m not sure, but I think our Livie is back. Who wants to swim while she tells us about the future?”

  “Do they ride dragons?” Ace asked.

  “Hang gliding,” Olivia said. “You’ll do it in Namibia.”

  “Do they have great stories?” Letty asked.

  “Yes, and your son will tell them in movies.”

  “How about food that cooks itself?” Uncle Freddy asked.

  “Microwave ovens can cook a chicken in ten minutes.”

  “I’d like a car that drives itself,” Mr. Gates said.

  “A voice on GPS tells you how to get anywhere.” Olivia shrugged. “Work still needs to be done on that one.”

  Standing there in her wet dress, Olivia looked at them. She couldn’t save the town, but maybe she wasn’t supposed to. Maybe she was just supposed to change this one tiny part of the universe. Perhaps these people, here and now, were everything. Maybe it wasn’t the length of life but what happened while we were here. Whatever the truth, she wasn’t going to waste another second going over what did, didn’t, could have, would have happened.

  Ace yelled that he was Harry Potter riding Toothless, and Letty shouted that she was Hermione on Stormfly. Uncle Freddy started singing “Let it Go” and the others joined him.

  On the second chorus, Kit gave Olivia a look that said that later they could make love. Shaking her head, she held up her naked left hand. Her eyes said, “You’re not touching me without a ring on my finger.” If she wasn’t pregnant now, she was sure she would be the next time they rolled around together—and damned if she was going to do all that over again!

  Uncle Freddy and Mr. Gates had seen the gesture and they were trying to hide their laughter.

  “I’m Voldemort and I’m riding Skullcrusher,” Uncle Freddy yelled, and Mr. Gates pushed the chair as they chased the screaming children.

  Olivia stepped back and looked at the family around her. Kit was whirling the children around in an attempt to simulate a dragon’s flight. Mr. Gates was turning Uncle Freddy’s chair on one wheel. The air was full of laughter and song.

  Now, she thought. This is what truly matters. This one, perfect, happy moment.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  When Olivia opened her eyes, she had no idea where she was. As she stared at the desk with the empty bookshelves behind it, memories began coming back to her. Alan and Kevin and Hildy. No! It was Kit and Tisha and the boys. It was Summer Hill and washing machines and huge delivery trucks. No! It was embassies around the world.

  She lifted her hand and looked at it, saw the lines and the spots on her skin that all the sunscreen in the world couldn’t prevent.

  Beside her were Kathy and Elise, still in their chairs, their eyes closed, both of them smiling. Wherever they were—whenever—they looked happy.

  As Olivia got up, her joints seemed to creak, and her body felt stiff and slow. Age, she thought. Gradually, her mind began to unclutter. Her life with Kit was getting a bit clearer than her life with Alan. A vision of her father riding a camel came to her. He learned to cross his legs on the saddle and push to make the animal keep its head down and go forward. Her mother used to giggle in delight at her husband’s gorgeous new thigh muscles. As their daughter, Olivia should have been embarrassed, but she wasn’t. But then, her mother said that marriage to Kit had changed Livie into an old soul.

  Kit said he’d made her grow up. Olivia said that having to deal with his life wore her out so much that she’d become old early.

  Smiling at the thoughts, she stretched, trying to flex her muscles, taking note of the changes in her body. Her stomach was bigger, the skin more loose. She put her hand on it and closed her eyes for a moment. Having four children had stretched her. How she’d complained to Kit! But of course she’d really wanted reassurance that he still loved her even if the beautiful twenty-two-year-old body was gone. He always proved it by making love to her. Like his hair, that part of him had never faded in strength.

  She opened the office door and leaned against the jamb. Too much was in her mind! Giving up Tisha was clear, but so was holding her daughter as her family and Kit’s looked on. A top hospital and staff had been able to save Olivia’s reproductive system after the difficult birth. At the time, Kit was still in Libya, but they managed to get word to him that his daughter and wife were well.

  Right now her memory of tears was mixed with thoughts of joy. Thoughts of traveling with Kit were intertwined with memories of trying to manage appliance stores. Kevin’s inactivity even as a child was twisted around the blazing energy of her and Kit’s three sons.

  When Olivia opened her eyes, Arrieta was standing there looking concerned. “Are you all right?”

  Olivia pushed away from the door. “I think I will be, but my mind needs to settle.”

  “Come and have some tea. I made some cream cookies.”

  Olivia sat down at the table and sipped her tea. Her head came up. “My father! He didn’t die at his workbench!” She began to remember. “I threw a fit and made him have his heart checked. Kit’s family got him really good treatment. It’s slowly coming back to me.” She ate a cookie. “Kit and I own the whole Camden estate. It was a wedding gift from his parents. And the cottage is my office. Oh! I have a degree in psychology. I see patients.” She smiled. “After our little wedding, my pare
nts were very happy when I told them that until Kit returned I was going back to school to study psychology. My father said that half of the world was crazy so I’d always have work.” She couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes. “I miss them so much!”

  She put her hands to her head. “If I think of a person or a place, the memory comes to me. But my life with Alan is still clear. Did he marry Diane and have Kevin? Did she die? What about Willie? What happened to all of them?” She rubbed her forehead. “I seem to remember that Trumbull Appliances was sold. I think it’s now a furniture store.” She was thinking hard. “Wait! Alan and Willie did get married. I was in Richmond then, living with my parents and I was hugely pregnant. I was very pleased to hear of the wedding. Mom said she didn’t know I knew them, and I didn’t. Not in that life.”

  Olivia looked up at Arrieta. “They divorced! Now I remember. Willie left Alan and married the man who built those ticky-tacky houses near us at Camden Hall. Kit said he wished he’d bought that land in memory of...” Olivia smiled. “Of our naked scurry across there. Young Pete still has my bra in a frame in his house. I wonder if Elise’s is there too? Did that happen with her? Or was that wiped out like my marriage to Alan was?”

  “Beats me,” Arrieta said. “I’m new at this.” She gave Olivia a hard look. “But you need to know everything since you’re going to take over Dr. Hightower’s job.”

  “Oh,” Olivia said. “There is that memory buried under all of them. I don’t know if I can do that.”

  “You have to,” Arrieta said. “And you have to keep what you do a secret. The reason I moved here is to be near you.” She look so frightened that she might pass out.

  Olivia got up, put her arm around the girl, and led her to sit down. “Everything will work out—you’ll see.” She glanced at the door. “How long will they stay in their trance?”

  “Until I pull them out. I just think very hard and tell them to come back and they do. But those two are so happy they could stay forever. They don’t want to wake up.”

  “But I did?”

  “I don’t think you’ve solved everything in your life. Aunt Primrose told me this might happen. When people only go back a few years, it’s easier, but you went back a long time—and you had two complete lives. It’s harder for you to sort things out.”