“Sounds like a plan.”
“Yeah, but I’m startin’ to re-think that. What better time to tell her than the night we welcome our first grandchild into the world? Talk about startin’ a new chapter, right?”
“You got that right.” Luc closed his eyes and sighed. “Ah, Trey, how the hell did we get here? It seems like just yesterday we were startin’ out, workin’ our asses off to make it in this business, now here we are, thinkin’ about retirin’ and movin’ on. I don’t feel old enough to be retired, if you want to know the truth.”
Trey laughed. “Trust me, you are.”
Luc kicked his friend’s knee with the toe of his cowboy boot as he hid his smile behind his hand. “I see my kids makin’ some of the same mistakes I made, and it kills me. I just wanna grab them and shake them sometimes.”
“What do mean? Your kids seem to be doin’ well. Evan took over for you like he was born to the job, and all the talent thinks Ryan’s cooler than you ever were.” He winked. “Trust an insider, I know what they say when you’re not around.”
“Shut up. Who the hell asked you?” Luc laughed when Trey gave him the finger. “Seriously, I see Ev throwin’ himself into the company, tryin’ to prove himself to everybody…”
“What’s wrong with that? He’s driven, determined, just like his old man.”
“Yeah, but Erika’s not like Marisa.”
“What do you mean?”
“Marisa worked in the industry, hell, she’s your sister. She saw how much you sacrificed to make it to the top. I don’t think Erika wants this lifestyle. She’s gonna be a vet soon, join her father’s practice.” Luc sighed as he set his drink down on the table beside him. “I think she wants the simple life. She wants to get married, settle down, have a couple of kids, a dog…”
“And Evan’s not there yet?”
Luc rolled his eyes. “How can he make that kind of commitment? His assistant tells me he doesn’t have time to eat most days.”
“They’ll work it out, don’t worry.”
“I’m not so sure.” Luc linked his hands in front of him and leaned forward. “I was watchin’ her tonight, watchin’ them. I’m thinkin’ this might be the end of the road for them.”
“Come on, man. They’ve been together, what, five years? That’s a lifetime when you’re their age.”
“I know. She’s a great girl. Marisa and I think the world of her, but I just don’t think my son can make her happy anymore.” He placed his hands behind his head. “I can’t help but feel responsible. If it wasn’t for the business…”
“Hey, you can’t blame yourself. Evan loves that company as much as you did. You couldn’t have kept him out even if you wanted to. It’s in his blood.”
“Yeah, I know.” Luc chuckled. “I’ve got one son who refuses to leave the office and another who rarely remembers to come in. What’s up with that?”
Trey laughed. “Don’t sell Ryan short. He’s damn good at what he does. The talent loves him.” Trey smirked. “Especially the ladies, from what I hear.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s part of the problem. Makes me wonder if that one’s ever gonna settle down and get his act together.”
Trey masked a laugh behind a cough as he fisted his hand in front of his mouth. “This comin’ from the guy who made datin’ an Olympic sport when he was single.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Good thing you came to your senses when you married my sister. You ever cheated on her and I’d have kicked your ass.”
Luc looked at the platinum and diamond wedding band that had been on his left hand for the past three decades. “Marisa’s the only woman in the world for me, Trey. You gotta know that.”
“I do. Hey, don’t worry. Your sons will find that special one, too. The girl they can’t live without.”
“Yeah, I just hope it’s sooner rather than later.” He pointed to the silver streaks in his black hair. “I’ve got enough gray hair already.”
Sierra peeked into the study and found Trey sitting alone in front of the fireplace. “Hey, what are you doing in here all by your lonesome? We’re making pancakes. Aren’t you going to join us for breakfast?”
“Come in here, sweetheart. I wanna talk to you about somethin’.”
“What is it?” She sat down in the leather chair across from him, leaning forward when he reached for her hand. “What’s going on? You should be thrilled, yet you seem… I don’t know, so somber.”
“I’ve been doin’ a lot of thinkin’ lately.” He slid the diamond rings around on her fingers. “I’ve been so blessed in my life. You, Alisa, now a grandbaby. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
“But?” Sierra’s heart began to race. She’d never known her husband to be indecisive. He spoke his mind and dealt with the fallout, yet lately he seemed to be withdrawing and it scared her. Communication was the foundation of their relationship and they promised each other, no matter what, they’d always talk about what bothered them. They learned the hard way how much misery and heartbreak silence could cause.
“I’ve been lucky in my life, so damn lucky.” He glanced at a row of platinum records hanging behind his desk. “I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve all this.” He pointed to his favorite acoustic guitar, sitting upright in a stand in the corner. “You know how many thousands of people have a great voice, yet they never make it in this business?”
Trey had always been humble about his success. That was one of the things she loved about him, but he didn’t downplay his accomplishments. He worked harder than anyone she knew, and that work ethic allowed him to believe he earned his success. “Honey, where’s all this comin’ from?”
“All good things must come to an end, right? Isn’t that what they say? Nothin’ lasts forever and all that shit?” He chuckled as he released her hand and leaned back in the leather club chair. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back.
She waited for him to continue, but when he said nothing, she felt compelled to ask, “Does this have something to do with us? Are you trying to tell me you’re unhappy?”
His eyes flew open and he raised his head, looking her in the eye a long time before he asked, “You can’t be serious. Don’t you know that you’re my anchor? Without you, none of this…” He raised his hands, gesturing to the awards lining the built-in books shelves. “None of this means a goddamn thing to me. You’re the reason I wake up in the mornin’, Sierra. You and our family.”
Sierra finally felt like she could breathe again when he gave her the reassurance she hadn’t realized she needed. She hadn’t thought about that dark time when she and Trey were divorced in so long. As much as she wanted to forget that time in their lives, she knew it would always be a part of her, a painful reminder of what could happen when you took the love of your life for granted.
“When you left me…” His voice cracked and she held up her hand to silence him.
“Trey, we don’t have to go there. That was a long time ago.”
“Yeah, but it’s important to me that you know. Hell, I don’t ever wanna forget what I went through back then. It reminds me to never take you or what we have for granted, ’cause it could all be gone like that.” He snapped his fingers. “If God took you away from me, I don’t think I could go on.”
“Don’t think about that. Not tonight.” She placed a hand on his knee. “This is supposed to be a happy time. We just welcomed our first grandchild into the world. Let’s just enjoy that, instead of looking back on times we’d rather forget.”
Almost as though he didn’t hear her, he continued. “I’d fall into bed drunk, and I’d wake up in the mornin’ and the first thing I’d do is reach for a drink.”
She knew he was talking about the time they were apart. Trey had always loved a good party, and scotch was his drink of choice, but he didn’t start overindulging until they lost their baby girl, Callie. “You were trying to cope with our loss the only way you knew how, Trey.”
“I know. I spen
t years in AA tryin’ to come to terms with the fact that bein’ an alcoholic is just a part of who I am. Some days I still think about havin’ a drink… like tonight.”
Sierra’s stomach clenched. She hadn’t heard him admit to being tempted by the lure of alcohol in a long time.
“I was so scared. I couldn’t get it out of my mind, what happened the night Callie died. I kept seein’ that look on your face, like you couldn’t stand the sight of me. I know you blamed me for her death, Sierra. If we hadn’t been arguin’… if I hadn’t been drivin’ too fast, we never would have gotten in that argument. I wouldn’t have lost control, and our baby girl wouldn’t have been born too soon.”
In spite of what Trey thought, she’d never blamed him for their daughter’s death. It simply wasn’t meant to be, and while it took her years to come to terms with it, she finally had. The charity she founded raised millions of dollars to help grieving families who lost their babies, and immersing herself in the cause helped her to heal. Her husband never found a way to come to terms with their loss.
She reached for his hands. The hands that had loved and comforted her most of her adult life. The hands that made him a millionaire hundreds of times over, made millions of people laugh, cry, and sing along with his songs. He was unlike anyone she ever knew and the fact that he chose her as his wife and best friend humbled her every day.
“You will never know how much I admire you, Trey. You think that I blame you, that I hold you responsible, but you’re so wrong. My heart aches for the pain you’ve had to endure because of what happened to Callie. I just want you to let it go so you can be free. So we can both be free of it.”
“I always thought that letting go of the guilt would be disparagin’ her memory, but when I looked into that baby’s eyes tonight, I realized somethin’. Life’s a cycle. Things begin and end when they’re supposed to. I’ll never know why Callie’s life was cut so short, but during the time she was here, she taught me to love with my whole heart in a way that I never had before. Because of her, I learned to love with no boundaries, and I think in the end that made me a better husband, father, and songwriter.”
She leaned forward to kiss him, smiling against his lips when he held the back of her head to deepen the kiss. “I’m glad to hear you say that,” she said, touching her forehead to his. “Maybe your grandson can help you to find what you need… closure.”
“I think you might be right.” He held her hands as she sat on the edge of her seat waiting for him to continue. “Speakin’ of closure, that’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Okay.”
“I think I was born with music coursin’ through my veins.” He smiled. “For a long time, I thought football was my passion, my purpose, but when that fell apart, I realized it happened for a reason, because music is what I was meant to do with my life.”
“No doubt about it. Your music has touched millions of people, probably in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.” Sierra had read dozens of letters and emails over the years from Trey’s fans. They told him that his music about love and loss helped them through a difficult period in their lives. It gave them hope that things could get better when they were on the verge of giving up and ending it all. They’d listen to his songs over and over again, knowing the loss he suffered, and came to believe that if he could find happiness again, maybe they could too.
“That’s been the greatest gift of all,” he said, quietly. “Sure, the money and the awards are nice, but knowing that I’ve touched people, that my music has impacted them in some way, that’s the best feelin’ in the world.”
“I can imagine.”
“It’s the music I love. It’s always been a part of me. I know that now.” He sighed. “But the truth is, I’m getting’ tired, baby. Tired of tourin’, tired of spendin’ hours and hours in the studio. I think it’s time…”
Sierra couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She’d never heard her husband talk about retiring before. She never thought she’d live to see the day when he didn’t look forward to going out on the road and entertaining his legions of fans.
“I’ll still write music, but I gotta face facts. This is a young man’s game, and I’m not young anymore. I wanna take time to slow down and enjoy life before it’s too late.”
“You really think you can be happy without the crowds and excitement?” Sierra would love to have more time with her husband, but not if it meant he was sacrificing his happiness to give her something he thought she needed. She’d learned a long time ago to love Trey exactly as he was, and she learned to embrace the music that completed him.
“I do.” He rubbed his thumb back and forth across her hand. “I can write music from anywhere in the world. I’ll still get the pleasure of hearin’ my songs on the radio, knowin’ my words are touchin’ people. It just won’t be my voice behind the words anymore, and I’m okay with that.”
“Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to do this because of me. Because you think it’s something I want or need. I’m happy with our life the way it is.”
“No, I need to do this for me. It’s time to move on to a new chapter. I’m excited when I think about all the free time I’ll have to spend with you and our grandbaby.” He winked. “Hell, I may even take up golf.”
She laughed as he leaned in for a kiss. “Now that I’d like to see.”
Chapter Eight
The sun was just starting to rise by the time Brianna pulled Ryan’s car into his driveway.
“You know, you didn’t have to drive me home,” he said, shifting in his seat to face her as she cut the engine. “I haven’t had a drop to drink in hours.”
“I don’t care. It’s not worth the risk, especially not with snow on the road,” she said, dropping his keys into his hand. “I’ll just catch a ride back to Trey and Sierra’s house with my parents later. It’s no big deal.”
“I hope it’s not too much for Alisa, havin’ a big family dinner so soon after...”
Brianna smiled. “Liam won’t let her lift a finger. Besides, they all thought it would be easier if they spent the first night or two with Trey and Sierra.”
Ryan tipped his head back against the leather seat and closed his eyes. “Man, it’s been one hell of a night, hasn’t it?”
Brianna giggled. “I don’t know that I’ve ever had a pancake breakfast at four in the morning before.”
“You don’t know what you’re missin’. I’m usually just rollin’ in around this time. I can’t tell you how many times my buddies and I have found an all-night diner so we could have bacon and eggs before we hit the sheets.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of keeping up that pace? I get tired just thinking about it. Of course, you and I have always been as different as two people could be.”
It bothered him that she didn’t see all of the things they had in common. They loved the same music, laughed like a couple of kids on rollercoasters, and played video games like their lives were on the line. “We’re not really so different, Bri.”
“Oh, please,” she said, hiding a yawn behind her hand. “You live for the party while I always seem to have my nose buried in some book.”
“Yeah, but you’re gonna be a lawyer in a few short months, so I’d say your dedication paid off.” At the risk of getting too serious, something he rarely did, he said, “I’m really proud of you.”
She blushed and dipped her head. “Thanks, Ry.”
A figure at his front door drew his attention and he muttered a curse.
“Looks like you’ve got company.”
Ryan had dated Gayle on and off for the past year. She was a flight attendant who often needed a place to crash when she was in town, so he’d shown her where he kept his spare key. They agreed his bed was as good a place as any, but that was before he started to question his feelings for Brianna.
“I should get home.” She reached for the door handle. “Have fun with… what’s her name.” She turned back to look at him. �
�You gonna bring her to Christmas dinner?”
“No!” He planned to get rid of her as soon as possible. “Hey, at least let me walk you home.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s only a few blocks. Besides, it’s light outside now.”
“I don’t care.” He opened the car door and stepped out, grateful for the bite of wind that helped wake him up. “This will just take a second, Bri.” He ran up to the door and Gayle pulled him into a hug.
Brianna followed him up the driveway. “Hi,” Brianna said, raising her hand to acknowledge Gayle. “I hope you didn’t have to wait too long for him to come home. We were having a get-together with family and friends when my cousin went into labor. Can you believe that?”
“No way!” Gayle braced a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, neither blushing nor shivering in her lingerie. “Are they okay… your cousin and the baby?”
“Yeah, they’re fine. She had the baby at home with a midwife. Can you imagine delivering an eight pound baby without benefit of pain meds?” The two women shared a laugh and Brianna said, “When my time comes, I want the epidural as soon as possible. I have no tolerance for pain.” She hit Ryan on the arm. “Remember that time I sprained my finger playing softball? I cried all the way to the doctor’s office.”
Ryan looked at her a long time before he said, “Yeah, I remember.” Why had it taken him so long to realize Brianna wasn’t that little girl anymore?
“Well, I better get home.” She offered a hand to Gayle. “Since he obviously forgot the manners his sweet mama tried like hell to instill…” She nudged Ryan out of the way, giggling when he stumbled. “I’m Brianna. Ry and I are practically family.”
Gayle regarded the pair before accepting the hand Brianna offered. “Is that right?”
“Yeah, my dad worked as Titan’s head of security for years before my older brother, Mike, took over the job. Ryan and I have grown up together.”
“That’s nice.” Gayle smiled. “I’m a flight attendant, so I rarely have time to make those kinds of connections. My parents have both passed, but my sister and her family live here in Nashville. They invited me for Christmas, and I managed to get the day off, so I thought, why not?”
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