by Brick
“Shawn. Andrew. Promise me. No punk shit,” I demanded.
This time they both nodded. “Yes, ma’am, we promise.”
Licking my dry lips, I lay back and gave a sigh closing my eyes, reminiscing. “Okay, then I can speak the full truth now. Some of this I shared with Drew already, but here is the full story. I was seventeen when I came to Atlanta from DC. I got into Spelman early to be with my cousin: your godmother, and our best friend.” A smile spread across my face in the memory as I spoke.
“My parents used to send me to New York to visit my grandparents in Harlem every summer, especially when your . . . your mother Sade was doing her thing overseas in college. It’s where me, my cousin Nicky, and Tee-Tee, grew up and ran the streets. Tee-Tee lived in Brooklyn. We would meet up at the train to do our thing. We’d sneak to Manhattan and go to the shops and steal the newest guap that we could find and take it back and be flossin’ like we bought it. It was always small stuff that the parents couldn’t figure out, but we did it anyway.”
Pausing, I took another sip of water and thanked Shawn for handing it to me that time. “Anyway. We were our own clique. The baddest bitches on the street, especially because we sometimes ran after the baddest niggas on the street, Tee-Tee’s big brother Cozy Black and his best friend, who was like a brother to him, Battle. Man, Cozy, and Battle were, back then, those were the niggas every chica wanted and needed. But we were the ones who got chill with them, especially when Tee introduced Nicky to Cozy Black.”
I made sure they both were following me and I paused to see if they were. “Remember what I taught you both, to listen to the messages between the lines. Hear what people are saying as they give you knowledge?”
“Yes, ma’am, we’re listening,” Shawn reassured me.
Nodding, I sighed and continued. “Okay, we all were thick as thieves. For a moment there, Cozy and I hooked up, but he was feeling Nicky so we chilled on that, though he had her too. Nicky and I had a closeness like sisters even though we were cousins. So whatever I had, she had, and the same was for me. I’d go visit our grandparents’ and her parents’ homeland of Nigeria and just kick it hard; so would Tee-Tee. So understand that there was no beef ever between us when messing with Cozy. He was into his own world with Battle anyway, suave fucker that he is . . . was. They both were.”
“Tía, take your meds, here,” Shawn calmly stated, handing me my pills to take and leaning back against the bed with me to listen.
It was like he was my little boy again, him and Drew, and they were listening to me tell them about Africa, and our black history and reading them their favorite comics. This was something I would take with me until the end.
“So, when it was time for us to go to college, we made a promise to get in at the same school and not break up and we did. Everyone was happy about it. We headed down there, and this was like in the mid-nineties. Atlanta was still hot, still poppin’ on a level you all don’t even understand, feel me. We had so much fun. Freaknik had just been told to end, but it was still pockets of it going on. The girls and I were heading to one such party. We were dressed alike, looking too cute. Cozy Black had come to the campus to visit as an international student. By then, he had changed his name to Phenom.”
I watched both boys sit up abruptly and look at me. I held my hand up to quiet them. “Listen, please, you know how my meds get me and I may fall asleep soon so listen. I said that wrong; he not only changed his street name from Cozy to Phenom, but he changed his real name as well. We all grew up on some spiritual principles that were a mishmash of C.O.G.I.C. values, with that of Buddhism, Ifá Orisa teachings, NGE United principles, which has Islamic beliefs in it, and we studied The Art of War, with other Asian strategic principles, hard. This was all because of our grandparents. But, anyway, he and Battle both changed their names once they started embracing the teachings, all after we had to leave NYC from bullshit we all got into. I loved visiting NYC but you can’t get me to go back.”
Licking my lips I glanced at him again. “Battle kept his name but we fell into using his new changed name, Jamir. Anyway, we all were heading out to the party. Battle and Phenom had gave us the nickname African Queens and we were down for that hard. When we got to the spot, we had a good time. Music jumpin’ making all us big-booty girls pop it.”
A soft laughter came from me and I patted both boys’ hands. “Anyway, that night, me, Nicky, and Phenom went and hooked up for some fun. He had asked, and ’cause of some deal the two had, we all just did us. It was fun. I decided to catch back up to Battle and Tee-Tee, which was bad, because I ran into this tall dude on my way back to them. He had some other guys with him and they surrounded me; he kept talking slick, saying things like, I was watching you watch me. Said I was pretty for a redbone. He wanted to play in my long, thick hair and see if I was a screamer because he liked screamers. I stood there feeling sick, that this old nigga was talking like he was to me. I felt disrespected because every man in my family taught us women that we were queens and this nigga had me feeling like the lowest piece of shit alive.”
Tears started rimming my eyes and I exhaled slowly and continued. “I told him that was nice and shit but I wasn’t into old Al B. Sure!–looking niggas, with gray lint-lined dicks. Old dusty wrinkle nuts niggas who look like they wear more eyeliner than I do and I bounced.”
Flashes of that night replayed in my mind. I saw myself pushing past greasy, thirsty motherfuckers who kept grabbing at my ass, tits, and pussy, with malicious grins on their faces as they laughed. Several razor blades whipped from my bangles. I cut each nigga who had nerve to touch me, and I ran.
“I remembered him laughing hard, saying we would meet again. I didn’t believe it, but we did. The Queens and I worked in the community a lot for our sorority, so we were chillin’ in the Trap when I ran into that nigga with the coal black eyes. He was leaning against a black Benz, in all white from head to toe. It was like he was eating me and stabbing me at the same time until he drove away.”
Both Shawn and Drew made me comfortable in the bed. “Nicky and Tee-Tee had seen him watching me. So I told them that that was the guy who had tried to grab up on me.”
My mind tinkered back as I remembered our conversation:
“Iya? That’s that mothafucka that got greasy wit’ you mama?” Tee-Tee asked with tone dripping from her lips. She stood next to me watching a man who was starting to scare me in a way I wasn’t used to. Tee-Tee placed a hand on her ample coochie-cutter clad hip, and pushed her pretty, thick braids over her shoulder. We wore matching outfits, except my shorts were longer and just showing my thick thighs and accenting my white cami.
No words were coming from me because I was to frightened to even admit that nucca was punking me out. It was Nicky’s soft and airy, slightly accented voice that drew my attention. She gave a slight giggle, but her words were all malice. “Yeah, that’s that oshara nigga: that brand new nigga. He is about to see his death very soon.”
I glanced at Nicky. She was sporting braids too but she had them braided up into a bun on the top of her head. She wore a set of Timbs with overall Dickey shorts that seemed to showcase her badass shape even in the bagginess of her clothes. Worry had me fisting my hands around my hung ankh necklace, but I wanted this nigga to leave me alone and I did not know any other way to do besides getting buck.
“Nicky, what you thinking to do?” I quickly asked.
A pretty smile spread across my cousin’s pretty face as she addressed me. “That nigga is nothing but a gbege man; a trouble man. How do we deal with niggas doing runs on us? We twist it back into our favor, mamas, you know that.”
We all nodded in understanding and I glanced back his way narrowing my eyes then flipping him off as he pulled away. “He made a mistake he will one day understand. Iku ya j’esin. Death is preferable to ignominy.”
Nicky smiled at my words and Tee-Tee smacked on her gum with a laugh. She rested her elbow on my shoulder speaking up as she played with my huge afro puff ponytail.
“Ya, big noi kore. A big mistake, but not yours. His ignominy will be his death and bring his ayewo, misfortune. Remember, feign disorder, and crush him. Sun Tzu.”
Those words became our motto. Later that day, we took to the Trap. It wasn’t hard finding his spot, because everyone made sure to know of a place they never wanted to go to. We found that nigga’s ride and we took metal bats with wire wrapped around them to his Benz. Any car that was around we smashed it up. Shattered glass was everywhere. Tee-Tee scraped the painting off every car she could find, then both Nicky and me sucked out the gas in a few, letting it leak on the ground, then set that shit on fire.
One of Lu’s men came out right when we were leaving and I flipped the nailed-up bat in my hand, swinging it upward to snap his neck back then smash his face in. Nicky’s boot followed when his large frame hit the dirt, breaking his neck in the process and we all left out before being caught as Tee-Tee let out birdcalls for everyone in the Trap to hear. That night was the birth of the African Queens. Something I’d always remember fondly.
Coming back to reality, I could tell Shawn and Drew had questions and I needed to know what was on their mind. “Talk to me, honeys; what do you want to know?” I asked.
Shawn glanced at Drew, and then spoke up. “You telling me, you know that dude Phenom? That you two were close and . . . Wait, the African Queens. You started that shit? But . . .”
I nodded and sighed. “Very close; and yes, we did. Anika is my cousin, honey, and Tee-Tee . . .” My head bowed and I licked my lips. “Tee-Tee is and was . . . Trigga’s mother, Fatima.”
Shawn’s shock echoed through the whole room. “What!”
“Please, listen; just sit and listen, please. May I continue? It’s more; you don’t even understand.”
He said nothing to me and kept pacing, so I continued. “Anyway, that nigga kept stalking me after learning my routine. It was only when I was heading home to my dorm that it got crazy. See back then, downtown wasn’t as clean as it is now. I mean Spelmen, Morehouse, all that area sat right in the hood. We could sling if we wanted and still make time for the books, it was that crazy. Well, I was coming back from having worked all night, when he found me on the Promenade. He basically followed me and told me that in order to work in his city, to live in his city, that I needed to introduce myself to the King of the South, Lu Orlando. Said that he was done with the games and that it was time to pay my dues. He said he wanted me because I was slick mouth and ignored him. Said he liked that, and it was a bonus I was pretty. Said he could use me to be his top bitch. That’s when I ran.”
The memories flooded me hard. It was like I was there again, fighting for my life and fighting against an evil I had only experienced in my nightmares.
“I couldn’t understand why he was working so hard to get me, but I soon found out after he snatched me. He took me to an old house close to the campus where he raped me multiple times. Told me I had some good tight pussy. Said I would make him some good money. Told me he knew when he was in Harlem, talking business with my grandfather, that I’d be something sweet. A chill like nothing else went through me. I knew my grandpops was an old gangsta and that he’d meet with many wannabe thugs from around the nation, who were pushing up to be big bosses like him, but I didn’t remember this nigga. I never remembered the nigga with a face of an angel but the dark eyes of the devil; his name fit him perfect, Lucifer.”
My hand slid to my stomach as I continued, “I fought hard. Took the lessons I learned from my family to survive and fought back. I know the only reason I was able to get free was because he liked the chase. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone because we all had heard of Lu in the streets. He was that nigga everyone ran from and didn’t cross. You do what he says or you die and I did not want any of my friends and family to find out, so I kept quiet. I was so young and stupid.”
Sighing, I wiped at my eyes. “I held the teachings of my grandmother and mother to heart in that moment. Words they shared with us girls before coming to the A. One I taught you two well. Ifa says, ‘if one chooses to keep quiet when there is a problem, the entire problem will stay permanently with one.’” While I said those words, Drew chimed in saying it with me, with Shawn finishing it.
A light, sad smile spread across my face as I continued, “I practiced that religiously up until now. I became a gatekeeper of all of our secrets. Anyway, back then, I made sure to be in places he couldn’t find me, but that never worked. I only was able to keep from being snatched again because I was around people, but that only lasted for so long. The second time he got me was when I went to DC for a wake for my grandparents.
“We weren’t going to NYC for it, so we had it at my parents’. Lu walked in as if he owned the place and paid his dues. The moment I saw him, I knew I wasn’t going to get away from him and I didn’t. He cornered me when I was speaking to an old friend of my grandfather’s in the hallway. He snatched me up. Told me to lead him to a quiet spot, and he raped me again. This time he used his belt and wrapped it around my throat to quiet me from screaming. He went at me for hours before anyone noticed I was gone. He left me a mess, and it was Anika who found me. Back then, we weren’t the African Queens you know today. I have to say Lu shaped us into that, especially when I found out I was pregnant. She and Fatima helped me hide. I couldn’t go far, so I went to Macon. I thought I was safe. I couldn’t afford an abortion and I didn’t want one. So, several months after my eighteenth birthday, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. That little boy was my life, my world and I loved him regardless of the circumstances of his birth. Shawn, please . . .”
As I was talking, Shawn had stopped his pacing; the moment I said those words, his fist went flying into the wall of my bedroom. I scrambled in the bed, and Drew even backed away in confusion just watching me. I screamed for Shawn to stop and he did, turning to look at me with red eyes.
“No fucking way! You lying . . . You are fucking lying!” he shouted.
I held both hands up as tears spilled down my face. My lungs felt compressed, burning, clogged, and tired. I shook my head no in anguish. It was Drew who came to my side and it was Drew who got Shawn to calm down enough for me to rest back in the bed and continue.
“Enzo,” Drew shouted, but I cut into anything he had to say just to get this out.
“I’m so sorry. I . . . I did what I had to keep you from him. He . . . he still stalked me. Found me in Macon, this time with Sade. She had come to visit you and I when I saw his car parked across the street of my apartment. I had thought Anika, Fatima, and I had found a safe spot but we didn’t. I had survived a full year with you and that nigga kept finding me. Sade took you to the store so I could sleep. As I was sleeping, he kicked the door into my place and found his way to me. You know what happens next.”
By this time, I was breathing hard and trying to stay clear-minded. “He was pissed that I had left. Told me he’d find me and that he was bored with the pussy he already had and he needed my screams. I used to scream so much for him, after a while I stopped. When my sister came back, that nigga was naked in my kitchen making a sandwich and smoking weed. It was then that he saw you. She told me she covered your face and it was she who started the lie. She said you were hers and that she was visiting. Long story short, at that time, he didn’t give a damn about her. Told her he had two spawns of his own he had to care for.”
My lips trembled and I knew I was working on borrowed time. “He . . . he left us and I made a plan with my sister to keep you safe. She moved you away with her to Kennesaw, and I stayed in Macon until moving back to Atlanta. Anika helped me with that too and I didn’t hear from Lu for the longest of times. I thought I was safe again because the time had passed. I picked up finishing school and got my nursing degree. Sade would bring you to me to visit on the regular and I would visit her. She was a good woman then, my best friend always, my loving big sister. I never was really aware of the changes in her then. I never knew until reading her diary later, after she’d died, that Lu had found you
two in Kennesaw much earlier than I had believed.
“In her diary, I learned she had made a deal with him to leave me alone, but eventually that got too much for her, and I found out, when she came and when I saw his name tattooed on her back. I tried to get you back, Shawn, but. . . we both agreed that maybe going to another state was safer for you and her, so she took you to Chicago. She was doing great, except she didn’t finish her international law degree, and became a Realtor. You lived the rest. My sister started deteriorating and I never knew because I was busy fighting Lu off of me, after he found me again. Every attack was worse. He locked me up in my own attic one time because he was mad that he didn’t bust a nut.” I muttered the last part in memory.
I bowed my head in shame, and continue talking to my hands. “He treated me like an animal but also made me act like a wife. It got worse when I was working with Tee-Tee, I mean Fatima, and Jamir in cleaning up the streets of Atlanta. In between visiting you whenever I could, I worked hard to find ways to leave Atlanta. By then Tee-Tee had married Battle and they had Trigga and my godniece Assata. Eventually, Lu left me alone again and I found out that I was pregnant again, this time with another precious piece of my heart, who I named Andrew after my dad.”
This was when Drew stood up and ran his hands over his head.
“Drew, I kept you as long as I could. I knew Lu was still having me watched, so I made sure to hide my pregnancy. I went to Chicago to give birth, and then stayed around you for three months after you were born, and then Sade kept you so we didn’t cause suspicion. Then after, I’d ship my milk up to you. At that time, I still didn’t know he had found her.”
As I spoke, I could feel my pills kicking in. “I . . . I couldn’t tell you two any of this because of the pain, because how do you tell two young men, who you love to your soul, that their father is the man who bred the very man the Trap feared. I tried to keep you both out of the streets because of this. I tried to keep you, Shawn, from his touch but still, you found your way in your brother’s hands. In Dante’s hands. I tried. I killed niggas to protect you two. I dug many graves in the streets of Atlanta under the African Queens moniker. When Fatima was killed by Lu’s hand, I knew this shit was only going to get worse. Lu had the A on lock. People were afraid of their own shadows. Anika and I began to plan. Eventually that plan included Phenom and the rest is what it is, but I tried.”