Koizumi looked back at us before smiling thinly and coolly pressing the button on the intercom next to the door.
Someone answered and Koizumi responded with a greeting. After we waited for about half a minute, the door slowly opened.
Needless to say, the man standing in front of us wasn’t wearing an iron mask or a ski mask with sunglasses and he didn’t suddenly attack us or yell obscure gibberish to confuse us. He was just a normal-looking middle-aged man.
“Welcome.”
The man who was supposed to be Keiichi Tamaru was allegedly a self-made millionaire, but he looked to be a normal old guy in a golf shirt and cargo pants as he beckoned us over with one hand.
“We’ve been waiting for you, Itsuki. And your friends as well. Quite frankly, this is a terribly boring place. You’ll be sick of it by the third day. The only other person who accepted my invitation was Yutaka. Oh!”
Keiichi’s gaze glided past me to reach Asahina, Haruhi, and Nagato in that order.
“Well, well. You have some lovely friends, Itsuki, I see. They’re just as beautiful as I’ve heard. They’ll add some color to this dreary island. That’s just splendid.”
Haruhi smiled, Asahina bowed, and Nagato stood still. The three of them reacted in different ways as they looked at Keiichi offering a warm welcome, the way you would look at a music teacher showing up for history class. Eventually, Haruhi stepped forward.
“I would like to express my sincere gratitude for your invitation today. I truly appreciate the opportunity to stay in such a wonderful mansion. On behalf of everyone here, I offer our thanks.”
She sounded like she was reading off a script an octave higher than her normal voice. Does she intend to keep pretending to be a nice girl for the rest of the trip? She should drop that flimsy act before she lets her true nature slip.
Keiichi Tamaru apparently agreed.
“Are you Suzumiya? My, you sure are different from what I’ve heard. According to Itsuki, you were… Uh, what was it again, Itsuki?”
Everyone’s attention suddenly turned to Koizumi, who responded without any sign of losing his composure.
“A frank person, I believe. That’s what I remember telling you.”
“We’ll go with that then. Yes, I’d heard that you were more of a frank girl.”
“Oh, really?”
Haruhi promptly dropped the invisible good girl mask. Then she flashed that brilliant smile she rarely showed outside the club room.
“Nice to meet ya, big guy! Moving right along, have any strange incidents happened in this mansion? And do the locals have a special name for the island or any ominous legends about the place? I happen to be interested in that kind of stuff.”
Don’t reveal your eccentric tastes to somebody you’re meeting for the first time. And yeah, you shouldn’t be telling the owner of the house that you want something bad to happen. What if he turns us away?
However, Keiichi Tamaru merely laughed generously.
“I happen to share your interests, but nothing has happened yet, since the building was only completed a few days ago. And I don’t know anything about the history of the island. Though I haven’t heard anything particularly sinister about the place. After all, it was a deserted island.”
And after that magnanimous gesture of kindness, he motioned for us to go inside.
“Let’s not stand here and talk. Please come inside. This is a Western-style house so feel free to leave your shoes on. I suppose we should start by showing you to your rooms. Normally, I would ask Arakawa to serve as your guide, but he appears to be busy carrying stuff in. Guess I’ll have to do it myself.”
And with that, Keiichi led us inside.
Well, I’d like to provide a diagram of the interior of the villa that showed room assignments, but I learned that I had no talent for drawing back during the early years of grade school, so I’ll refrain. Simply put, the rooms were staying in were on the second floor while Keiichi’s bedroom and Yutaka’s guest room were on the third floor. Perhaps that tells you how close they were. Arakawa the butler and Mori the maid were staying in smaller rooms on the first floor…
And that should cover everyone.
“Does this house have a name of some sort?”
Keiichi smiled wryly in response to Haruhi’s question.
“It was just completed so we haven’t thought of one yet. We’re open to any good ideas.”
“Yes. How does House of Tragedy or House of Fear sound? And you can name each room with names like Bloodsucking Hall or Cursed Room.”
“Oh, that sounds great. I’ll have nameplates made up for next time.”
I really don’t want to sleep in a room with a name that’ll give me nightmares.
Our group passed through the lobby and up the stairs made of high-grade wood to reach the second floor. The hallway was lined with doors as though this were a hotel.
“The rooms should all be the same size, though. There are single and double rooms. Feel free to use whichever one you want.”
Well, what to do? I wouldn’t mind sharing a room, though with five of us, somebody’s going to be left over, and logic dictates that Nagato would be the odd one out. Of course, I could offer to be Nagato’s roommate and she probably wouldn’t mind, but I’d end up instantly dying from an offhand punch by Haruhi.
“Well, we can each stay in our own room.”
That was Koizumi’s final conclusion.
“Since we’ll only be in our rooms when we’re sleeping anyway. And we’re free to move between rooms. By the way, do the doors lock?”
“Of course.”
Keiichi Tamaru smiled as he nodded.
“The keys are on the sideboard in each room. The doors don’t lock automatically so you won’t be locked out of your room if you forget the key, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t lose it.”
I won’t even need a key. I’ll leave the door unlocked when I’m sleeping. Since Asahina might sneak in for some reason after everybody else has fallen asleep. And I don’t have anything worth stealing with me. Nobody’s going to commit theft in a situation with such a short suspect list. And if somebody did, it would obviously be Haruhi.
“Then I’ll go check on Arakawa and Mori. Feel free to use this opportunity to explore the premises. Don’t forget to check where the emergency exits are located. I’ll be going then.”
And with that, Keiichi returned downstairs.
Here was Haruhi’s impression of Keiichi Tamaru.
“The absence of anything suspicious about him makes him a suspicious character.”
“Then what if he looked suspicious?”
“There you go. He’d obviously be a suspicious character.”
So as far as she’s concerned, nothing in this world can be considered free of suspicion. Standards so strict the International Organization for Standardization would be surprised. She should work for the Japan Advertising Review Organization, Inc., in the future. She’d be busy with work every day.
We randomly chose rooms and unloaded our belongings before meeting up in the double room Haruhi had taken. Occupying a double room by herself definitely fell into the category of Haruhi-like behavior. In other words, her personality doesn’t allow for any restraint or modesty.
The three girls were sitting on the bed, I was parked on the dressing table, and Koizumi was calmly leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
“I’ve figured it out!”
Haruhi shouted all of a sudden and I reflexively responded in the usual fashion.
“Figured what out?”
“The culprit.”
Haruhi’s face as she made her proclamation seemed to be filled with some kind of mysterious conviction.
I reluctantly voiced what the other three were thinking.
“What culprit? Nothing’s happened yet. We just got here.”
“My gut tells me that the culprit is the master of this place. His first victim will probably be Mikuru.”
“Eek!”
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Asahina was really scared. She trembled like a little rabbit hearing the flapping of a hawk’s wings and clutched at the skirt of Nagato, standing next to her. Nagato didn’t say anything.
“…”
She just silently stared at a fixed point in the air.
“Like I said, what culprit?” I asked one more time. “Or should I say, what crime do you intend to blame Keiichi Tamaru for?”
“How am I supposed to know that? He just had a look in his eyes like he was plotting something. My gut is usually right. I’m sure that we’ll be involved in some kind of big surprise.”
I hoped that she was just talking about a simple surprise party, but Haruhi wasn’t expecting a cheap birthday party with a lame catch.
Just imagine. Keiichi suddenly dropping the friendly smile and getting a crazy look in his eyes as he starts slashing guests with a kitchen knife. The old guy beating at the door to use us as sacrifices because he was possessed by an ancient spirit after stumbling upon an old dolmen deep in the forest of the island.
“That’s ridiculous.”
I waved one hand in a horizontal motion as I shot myself down.
There’s no way that an acquaintance of Koizumi’s would do something like that. The “Agency” can’t be made up of a bunch of idiots. They should have investigated the site beforehand. Koizumi still has that usual harmless smile on his face. Arakawa the butler, Sonoh Mori, and Yutaka Tamaru have absolutely nothing in common with the residents from horror stories. Besides, Haruhi is looking for a detective mystery, not a splatter film.
If anything were to happen, it’d be a serial murder or two, right? Though I doubt it’s going to happen so conveniently. The skies are clear and they haven’t issued a high seas warning. This island hasn’t become an isolated space.
Besides, Haruhi wouldn’t truly wish for someone to die. If Haruhi were that kind of a person, I’d have run out of patience after dealing with her for so long.
Haruhi, paying no heed to my worries, spoke up in an innocent-sounding voice. “Let’s start by taking a swim. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that people come to the beach for the sole purpose of swimming. Let’s see how far we can swim. We can have a contest to see who gets carried away by the waves first!”
Sure, but you better have a search and rescue team standing by.
Still, we just got here and we’re already on the move? Hasn’t she even considered taking a short break after the long voyage? Of course, it was possible that Haruhi wasn’t tired, but she could at least occasionally refrain from using herself as the standard for everyone else.
“What are you talking about? You could take an offering to the Temple of Apollo, but that isn’t going to stop the sun. We have to move before the sun sets ’cause time’s a-wasting.”
Haruhi wrapped her arms around Asahina and Nagato’s necks.
“Wah,” went Asahina as she blinked, while “…” was the silent response from Nagato.
“Swimsuits. Swimsuits. Get changed and meet up in the lobby. Heh-heh-heh. I chose the swimsuits these girls will be wearing. Kyon, you’re getting excited, aren’t you?”
Haruhi bared her white teeth with a creepy smirk in a look that said she knew what I was thinking.
“You’re absolutely right.”
I puffed my chest up in defiance. That was my primary objective for this trip. I won’t let anyone rain on my parade.
“Koizumi, the private beach is reserved for us, right?!”
“Yes, that’s right. Our only company will be a few seashells washed up on the shore. It’s an unexplored beach. But the tide comes in quickly so you shouldn’t get too far away from the coast. Assuming you were serious about having a contest.”
“As if. It was just a joke. Someone like Mikuru would end up as fish food after getting swept away by the Kuroshio Current in no time. Okay, everybody? Don’t get all excited and swim too far out. Stay where I can see you.”
Should Haruhi be acting as the guardian here when she’s the most excited one? Maybe I should suck it up and play that role. In any case, I’ll take care not to let Asahina out of my sight for longer than two seconds.
“Over there! Kyon!”
Haruhi pointed her finger at the tip of my nose.
“Get that creepy smile off your face. You look better with your mouth half-open in a grimace. I won’t be letting you have the camera!”
The high-flying and audacious Haruhi Express smiled.
“Okay, let’s go!”
And so, here we are.
Here was a coastal beach of sand. The intense sunlight was definitely what you’d expect of summer. The advancing waves washed over the sand as white clouds puffy like cotton candy slowly floated across a canvas of deep blue. A sharp sea breeze rustled our hair and slowly beckoned us to the water.
The words “private beach” have a nice ring, but the truth was that there wasn’t any need to book a reservation for this beach because it was on an island so far removed from civilization that nobody would ever bother coming here to swim, with the exception of foreign tourists who’d been fooled by some travel magazine. Needless to say, there wasn’t any sign of human life around besides the five of us. There weren’t even any birds flying around.
Which meant that the only witnesses lucky enough to see Haruhi and the other girls in their swimsuits were the barnacles attached to the rocks. If you don’t count Koizumi and me.
I had spread a blanket under the beach umbrella and squinted at Asahina, who looked all embarrassed, when Haruhi ran up to block my view.
“Mikuru, swimming at the beach is a rule of this world. Come on, let’s go. It’s unhealthy to stay out of the sunlight!”
“Wait, but my skin gets sunburned really easily…”
Haruhi paid no heed to Asahina’s cowering as she led the pale upperclassman to the edge of the water and dove in.
“Wah, it’s salty.”
Asahina was surprised by the obvious as she splashed in the water.
As for Nagato.
“…”
She was kneeling on the blanket with her back straight, also in a swimsuit, as she read a paperback in silence.
“Each person has a different method of having fun.”
Koizumi stopped blowing up the beach ball to smile at me.
“People should spend their leisure time doing activities they enjoy. Or else, that would defeat the point of going on a vacation. Shouldn’t we attempt to relax and savor this four-day three-night trip?”
Isn’t Haruhi the only one enjoying herself? I doubt that Asahina’s feeling too relaxed when Haruhi’s toying with her.
“Hey, Kyon! Koizumi! You guys get over here too!”
We stood up in response to Haruhi’s sirenlike shouting. Truth be told, I didn’t go reluctantly. Haruhi aside, my heart’s desire was to be near Asahina. Koizumi passed the blown-up beach ball to me and I began walking across the hot sand.
Upon returning to the villa feeling moderately fatigued, we took quick showers before returning to our rooms for a brief rest, after which time the sky was filled with stars and Mori was leading us to the dining hall.
It was dinnertime.
Dinner that night was an extravagant affair. I doubt Asahina had particularly wanted to eat seafood, but there was a plateful in front of each of us, enough to make a person destined to live in poverty like me sit up straight. And we’re getting free room and board? Is this really okay?
“Absolutely.”
Keiichi Tamaru assured us with a smile on his face. “Just think of it as a way of showing my appreciation for coming all the way out here. After all, I was bored. Well, I don’t mean that I would have invited anybody available. But Itsuki’s friends are more than welcome here.”
Keiichi was now dressed formally, unlike when he came out to greet us. He wore a dark suit with a necktie in a Windsor knot. The food being served was a mix of Japanese and European cuisine with a menu including carpaccio, meuniere, and some kind of steamed dish among other
s, though Keiichi was the only one eating with a knife and fork. The rest of us had been using chopsticks the whole time.
“The food is absolutely delicious. Who made this?” Haruhi asked as she displayed an appetite worthy of consideration for an eating contest.
“The butler, Arakawa, also serves as the chef. Impressive, isn’t it?” said Keiichi.
“I’d love to offer my appreciation. Please call him over later.”
Haruhi was putting on the airs of a person at a fancy restaurant.
Asahina’s eyes widened every time she took a bite. Nagato, who didn’t seem like a big eater, was keeping up a surprising pace. Koizumi was cheerfully chatting with Yutaka and the others.
“Would you like something to drink?”
Mori, who served as our waitress in her maid outfit, held a long and narrow bottle as she smiled at me. Looks like some kind of wine. Can’t say that I approve of offering alcohol to minors, but I decided to try a glass. I’d never had wine before, but humans are supposed to be a little adventurous. Besides, I’d feel bad if I turned down Mori while being faced with that charming smile.
“Ah, what are you drinking by yourself over there, Kyon? I want some of that too.”
Per Haruhi’s request, a glass of wine was passed to everyone.
Somehow, I have a feeling that this was when the nightmare began.
That day, I discovered that Asahina had absolutely zero tolerance for alcohol, Nagato was like a bottomless pit, and Haruhi was a hopeless drunk.
My own memories were rather hazy since I got cocky and drank a bit too much, but I recall Haruhi drinking from the bottle as she slapped Keiichi’s head.
“Man, you’re the best! I’ll leave Mikuru here as thanks for inviting us. Do some serious maid training. This girl really needs help.”
I vaguely remembered Haruhi shouting something along those lines.
The real maid, Sonoh Mori, had lined up the wine bottles on the table like bowling pins and presented us with expertly sliced apples for dessert. Asahina, the fake maid who was only on duty in the club room, was collapsed on the table, her face completely red.
Nagato continued emptying the alcoholic beverages Mori brought over. I had no idea how her body processed alcohol, but her complexion hadn’t changed a bit as she emptied bottle after bottle like a whale drinking seawater.
The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya Page 15