Kristina was quiet for a while. “To tell you the truth, I wasn’t in the hospital, Danny. I just really needed you to call me. I need to tell you something really important.”
She could hear Danny take a breath. “Why would you scare me like that? I thought you were hurt or something, Tina.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve tried to call you and you wouldn’t answer your phone or call me back.”
Danny didn’t say anything for a while. “Are you still there?” Kristina asked into her phone.
“Yeah, I’m here. Look, Tina, I’m sorry about that. I’ve wanted to call you and to answer your calls. I just didn’t know what to say to you, since I acted like an ass the last time we saw each other. I didn’t know what to say to you to make up for it.”
“I should have told you about the article. It would have been easier that way. Once I saw what you were going through, I couldn’t possibly betray your trust like that. I wanted to tell you, but I just figured that since I found a replacement for you in the article that I didn’t need to say anything. It was stupid and I’m sorry.”
“I guess we both made some mistakes.”
“Yeah, I guess we did. How are you, really?” Kristina asked him.
“I’m okay. It’s a constant struggle, but thanks to you, I’m learning to deal with it. It’s not like I can run off and get drunk here so there’s that,” he said, trying to make a joke.
“Well, thank God,” Kristina said smiling.
“What is it that you wanted to tell me?” Danny asked.
Kristina’s nervousness came back full force. She didn’t exactly know how to say what she had to say. She especially didn’t want to say it over the phone.
“Kristina, are you still there? You got real quiet on me,” Danny said through the phone.
“Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just trying to find a way to tell you something,” she said, biting her lip.
“Just say what’s on your mind. I promise I’ll listen this time,” Danny said.
Janine mouthed the words, Just tell him, to her from across the living room.
“Um, well I did go to the doctor, just not today. I went about a week ago.”
“What did they say? You’re okay, right?”
“I’m perfectly fine. They told me I had a condition that won’t go away for nine months.”
There was a pause on the other line.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Well, that depends on what it is you think I’m saying,” she said.
“You’re…pregnant? Like seriously, you’re pregnant?”
“Yes, eleven weeks. I guess it happened the first time we uh…”
Kristina took the phone away from her ear. Danny was talking so loud, he could be heard from across the living room.
Janine looked at her and smiled. “Well, at least he’s happy.”
Kristina laughed and put her ear back to the phone. It took a few moments before she could understand anything that Danny said, but she eventually told him the due date, too.
“Where are you? Did they send you back overseas?”
Danny told her about going to military police school. “I’m in Missouri at Fort Leonard Wood. I’ll be finished here before your due date, but I would love to see you before that day comes.”
“I’m just happy that you’re happy. All I’ve wanted to do since I’ve found out was tell you. I want to be a family, Danny. I know it’s going to be tough, but I’m up for it if you are.”
“I love you, Tina. I want the same thing. There are things we need to work out and not over the phone. I want to see you and we can talk through some things then.”
“Of course, I understand that. As soon as you’re able to leave or have visitors or however that works out, I’ll be there.”
“Tina, one more thing before I go.”
“What’s that, Danny?”
“Call your parents. I’m pretty sure they would want to know they’re having a grandchild.”
“I…I don’t know about that, Danny. You know how they are. It will just end in an argument.”
“Tina, listen to me. I fight everyday not to drink. It’s a constant thought in my head, a constant struggle. Something is going on with your dad. Talk to him, but without the yelling and fighting. Find out what happened to him to make him this way. Just think about it okay?”
Kristina hesitated. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”
Danny hung up the phone after telling her that he loved her and that he would call tomorrow to check on her.
“What did he say?” Janine said.
“He wants me to call my parents and tell them about the baby.”
“What’s the story about your parents? I mean if you don’t mind me asking.”
Kristina got more comfortable in her chair. “No,” she said, “I was going to tell you eventually anyway. It’s a long story. You might want to pour yourself another glass of wine.”
Kristina launched into the story of her childhood, all the pain she felt growing up in the house that her mother dared to call a home. She told her all about the times she had to pick her father up from laying in his own vomit and the hurt she felt when her mother just turned a blind eye to it all. She went on to explain how she felt like they robbed her of a normal childhood and that she had to deal with things no child should have to deal with.
“I just don’t know if I can let enough anger out of my heart to ask them what happened,” she said finally, wiping tears from her face.
Janine had come to sit next to her at some point of the story. “I think you owe it to yourself, Kris. You need closure. Holding that much anger in your heart isn’t good for anybody. I agree with Danny on this one. Call your parents. Hell, you have the time off. Fly out there and see them. Give them the chance to explain. You might see the whole situation in another light.”
“I just don’t know,” Kristina said, raising her head to look at Janine.
“Do you remember how you felt when Danny didn’t let you explain about your article?”
“Yeah, but that was different,” Kristina said.
“Was it? Maybe all your dad has been waiting for you to ask him why. Give him that chance,” Janine said, rubbing Kristine’s knee.
Janine left about an hour later. Kristina sat on her couch and stared at her phone. So many thoughts ran through her head. Could there have been a reason her father was the way he was? Could something have happened to him?
Kristina went back and forth in her head on why she should and shouldn’t call him. Finally, coming to a decision, she picked up her phone, called the airlines, and scheduled a flight back to Humble, Texas.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kristina knocked on her parents’ front door. She waited a few seconds before her mother opened the door.
“Hey, Mom. Can I come in?”
“Of course, Kristina, this is your home, too.” She stepped back and let her daughter in.
Kristina rubbed her hands together and looked around her. As normal, nothing was out of place.
“Is Dad here?” she said, looking behind her to where her mother stood.
“He’s in the living room,” she said.
“Can you come with me? I want to talk to you both.”
“What’s this about?” her mother asked.
“I just want to talk to you and Dad. That’s all.”
Her mother took a nervous breath and led the way into the living room. Her father was sitting on the couch, sipping on a beer.
At least it’s not the hard stuff yet, she thought.
“Hey, Daddy,” Kristina said, as her father looked up and saw her.
“If you’ve come to judge me again, you can just turn around and go right back out that door.”
“No…actually I wanted to talk to you and Mom, if you’ll let me.”
Her father looked at her for a while before sitting up on the couch. He motioned with his hand for her to sit down after a minute. Her
mother sat next to her father and looked at Kristina.
“So what’s this about, Kristina? What’s on your mind, honey?” her mother asked.
Kristina took a deep breath before she began. She hoped her father would be receptive to what she had to say and not immediately jump on the defensive.
“I know over the years, a lot has gone on in this house. I also know that things could have gone a lot better.”
“Kristina,” her dad said in a warning tone.
“Daddy, please just listen. I’m not here to tell you to stop drinking or to judge you for doing so. I’m here to find out why.” She looked her father right in the eyes. “What happened, Daddy? What happened to you that made you this way?
“There has to be a reason for it. I want to understand, Daddy, I always have. Please tell me what happened to you?” Kristina said, as tears flowed down her face.
Her father looked over at his wife. Then, he looked down at his hands that clutched the beer he held. He sat up straighter in his seat.
“I, um, I’m sorry that all you remember of me is me being a drunk.” Her mother grabbed his hand as he spoke. Her father swallowed several times. When he tried to speak again, the lump in his throat was audible.
Her mother took over from that point. “You were too young to remember, baby. I thought it best never to tell you because it was so hard on your father.”
“Tell me now, Mom. Please.”
Her mother looked off to her left and rose from where she sat on the couch. She went to the lock box she had kept there since before she could remember. Her mother took the necklace she wore off and opened the box from the key which Kristina always thought was a charm.
She pulled out a photo album and walked towards Kristina with it. She looked to her father who rested his beer on the table. Suddenly, he looked years older, as grief took over his features. Kristina took the album from her mother and looked down at it.
Timothy, it said simply. Opening the book, there was picture upon picture of a beautiful little boy she had never seen before.
“Who is this?” Kristina asked her mother, as she flipped through the book. She came to a picture of the little boy holding a little girl. The little girl was her.
“Who is this?” she asked again, looking from her mother to her father. “Who is this little boy?”
“Timothy,” her father whispered. “He was your brother.”
“What? What do you mean, he was my brother? I’m an only child. I don’t have a brother. Mom, what is this?”
Her mother sat back down next to her father and grabbed his hand once more and said, “Timothy was our first born, Kristina. He was such a precious child, always so happy and full of life. He had just turned three years old when you were born. He loved his little sister, always wanting to feed you and help change your diaper.
“It was a summer day in this very house. It was so hot and Timothy kept bugging your father to take him swimming. I finally told him to take your brother to the local pool. Just for a few hours, I said.”
Her father took over from there. “I guess everybody had the same idea he did because there were a lot of people at the pool. We swam for about an hour. Then, it was just too crowded for him to have any real fun. We were walking to the locker rooms when he said he was thirsty. He was pulling on my shorts, tugging me in the direction of the concession stand. I sat him on the picnic table right next to the line that I was standing in. I could see him the whole time. He kept telling me to hurry up.
“When I got to the counter a big group of kids ran by and I lost sight of him for a second, just a second. When the crowd cleared, he was gone. I called his name, but he didn’t answer.”
Her father seemed to be back to that day. She wanted to tell him to stop. She didn’t need to hear anymore, but he continued, “I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t find him. He wasn’t there anymore. I only lost sight of him for a second, but he was gone.”
“The authorities searched for him for a long time, but he was never found,” her mother said, as she looked at her husband. “Your father blames himself, even though it’s not his fault. It affected him so much, Kristina.
“You asked why I stay with your father, even though he drinks the way he does. Why do I act as if everything is fine? I stay because I love your father and leaving would be the wrong thing to do. I wish this had never happened, but it did. It affected our family in a way that none of us understood. We went on the only way we knew how.”
Kristina rose from her seat and crossed to her father. “I’m so sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry.”
It was all she could think of to say to him. All these years, she had judged her father and thought he was a bad parent because he drank so much. She never once stopped to think something may have happened to him to make him drink the way he did.
Kristina sat at her parents all afternoon talking about Timothy. Her father still drank his beer, but at least she spoke with him. All the anger and resentment she held in her heart for all these years seemed so unimportant, especially now that she knew the underlining reason for her father’s drinking.
When she got a moment, she stepped out and called Danny. He immediately asked her if she thought about talking to her parents. “I’m actually at their house right now. I flew in this morning.”
She told him about what she had learned about her brother. She described how she felt stupid for hating her father for drinking so much.
“You had no way of knowing, Tina. I’m glad you talked to him.”
“Me, too. I mean, it won’t be overnight, but I can see only good things from here. I want a relationship with them. I want a new start. I think that can happen,” she said, looking back at her parents’ house.
“That’s good to hear Tina. I’m happy you have some type of closure there. Did you tell them about the baby, yet?”
“No, not yet. We’ve been talking about Timothy and my Dad. It’s the first time I’ve heard him talk about him. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Okay, I understand. Let me know what they say.”
“I will,” Kristina said.
“I got to go, love, but call me later.”
Kristina hung up the phone and went back inside. Her mom was making a small lunch in the kitchen. Kristina walked to her and stood beside her. “Mom, there’s something else I wanted to tell you.”
“Do you want me to go get your father?”
“No, I want to tell you this first.”
She took a seat at the island that floated in the kitchen.
“Do you remember Danny from when I was growing up?”
“The young man from across the street?”
“Yes. We recently reconnected. He went to the Marines and finally returned home. Well I…we love each other, Mom, so much. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love him.”
“That’s good, baby. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” she said, as she accepted a turkey sandwich.
“There’s something else. I went to the doctor about a week ago. We’re expecting. I’m eleven weeks along.”
Her mother’s face lit up. She hadn’t seen real excitement on her face in years.
“I’m going to be a grandmother?” she asked, beaming.
“Yes, you are.”
A look passed her mother’s face. “Why don’t you want to tell your father?”
“No, I do. I just wanted to tell you first. I don’t know how he’s going to react, so I wanted someone on my side when I told him.”
“Well, there’s no time like the present. He’s having a good day.”
Kristina nodded and followed her mother back into the living room. When she told her father she was pregnant, she expected him to be angry; instead, he smiled and said, “I’m happy you’re happy, Kristina. I’ve always wanted you to be happy, even if I had a funny way of showing it. Where is this young man?”
“He’s on active duty right now and can’t leave base, but he’ll be home soon.”
Her father nodded. Kristina was surprised when he actually accepted a sandwich from her mother. Things weren’t perfect, but they had come a long way in just one afternoon.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Kristina looked down into the eyes of her baby boy. He was so precious and changed so many lives, even when he was only in her womb. She laid her son on her chest and thought over the last nine months.
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