by PN Books
“You're brave to speak to me so freely, August,” He muttered darkly, “I have forgotten the fire that you bear in your soul. But what makes you think that I won't kill you? After all, that’s why you’re here, is it not?”
Instantly I raised my chin as his meaning caught my attention. So he was aware of what his duty was to me. He was such a damned good liar. He laughed at my expression. “And there you thought I didn’t know. Oh, I know what your new lover has been saying to you, love. He whispers to me the same poisons as he does you. I know I am to be your death. But you, my dear August, what exactly is your part in this to me?”
I dug my nails into the soft plush of the armchair. My mind raced at what Everard uttered. Kyle was the one who was insisting on my death? The young fledgling that I had grown to love? He was my companion, but he could never fill the void of losing my noble lord. That was the bitter truth. I was still loyal to Everard but too selfish to admit my feelings to him.
“I have no purpose to you.” I tried to sound as if I was not afraid but the way that he suddenly looked at me was unnerving. He looked like a lion about to attack its prey.
“That’s not the way this works now is it. Your dear little fledgling has grown jealous. He knows your dark little secret, my love. He knows our little secret. So you see my dear, I have a purpose and you my dear sweet nightmare also has a purpose.” His face grew dark, hateful. “So what is it?”
I wanted to leave. Wanted to flee. For two hundred years I had not once been afraid of my lover until that moment. For once I actually saw my immortal lover for what he was: a monster.
“I told you,” I whispered. He was stalking close to me. I did not move. Could not.
“Ah yes, of course, my blood.” He stopped in front of me before biting hard into his wrist. I had not expected his reaction but no sooner had he bitten into his dead flesh, his wrist was it at my mouth forcing me to drink, drowning me in powerful blood. I didn’t drink it.
Forcefully I ripped myself from out of his vice-like grip and launched myself at him like a crazed animal. I was furious, livid, outraged by his blasphemous behavior. His back hit the stone wall with a crack. His fangs bared in wild insanity. He was stronger than I thought, and I was thrown into the cold stone wall, my fangs bared at him in hate.
“You foolish, foolish girl!” He hissed at me, pinning me closer to the wall. “You dare attack me? Me! Have you forgotten who I am?”
“Have you forgotten who I am?” I retorted with equal venom in my tone. He didn’t release me.
“I know all too well who you are! I created you, you insufferable fool!”
“Release me,” I threatened. My anger rose to the point where I was capable of destroying him. Everard arched an eyebrow in cockiness.
“Are you threatening me, my love?” He mocked.
“I will not ask again.” My immortal lover all but practically slammed me into the wall before he released me. I glared at him, wanting to tear out his arrogant throat.
“What do you want from me? I grow bored of this game you play.”
“It is you who is playing a game Everard. You who once again has dabbled in the history of our kind. Your letter brought me to Paris, not in hopes of a reconciliation but a reason as to why you left me to rot the moment that I became your vampiric pet!” A strange look crossed his face then, and I knew that my words had struck a nerve.
“You dare speak of such things?” He hissed lowly.
“Yes!” I growled, “I do! For centuries, I have walked the streets of London wondering if I would ever see you again! At first I thought that I could live without you, that I could live with the hurt that you inflicted on me. But with time, I realized that I could not. The pain was too deep. For years, I have walked this earth alone with nothing but my pain for company. How can you be cool when you know what pain you have caused?” I stopped before continuing slowly, disdainfully. “How can you face me when you know that we have a history of pain and suffering?”
He bristled like I knew he would. My words had power. I stepped closer to him, playing the arrogant vampire at his own game. I was the only one brave enough to attempt such an act.
“Hmm.” I laughed slowly, mockingly into his ear. His back was to me. “You think you're invincible. Immune to the pains of the world. Little do you realize that are you are the cause of most of the atrocities that go on in this God-forsaken realm. When will you finally face up to your responsibility as a vampire to actually behave like a vampire? Why do you feel this constant need to be known? The urge to cause chaos? I know the reason.”
He didn’t face me when he spoke. “Do you?” He answered darkly, “And what is the reason, pray tell?”
It was simple. “You are afraid.” He whirled around so fast then in a white mist that even my preternatural eyes could not see his movements. Eyes of clear blue stared into mine like ice daggers, sharp and menacing.
“And what am I afraid of, dear August?” He roared. When I did not answer he snapped, “Oh come, let's not be coy. You stand there in all your vampiric beauty, your immortal life that I gave to you, yet you insult me by calling me afraid? How dare you! You impotent wretch! You sicken me, get out of my sight before I obey your beloved’s wish!”
I didn’t move. “Fool!” He hissed again, teeth bared. “Do you have a death wish?” I found the pun amusing.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I told him calmly, which only enraged him more. I knew what was coming next. My determination always brought out the evil within him. He despised being challenged, confronted. Everard liked to think that he was the superior one.
Cold hands wrapped firmly into my hair he dragged me over to the bed where the dead whore lay. I could have chosen to fight him. I could have killed him, and he could have killed me. That moment I thought he was going to, but I was wrong. This was another one of his games that he piteously believed would frighten me into obeying him.
“Damn you and your stubborn ways!” He growled as he threw me on the bed. He threw himself over me, pinning me down, trying to intimidate me. A long time ago it would have worked.
Silence prevailed between us as we lay together like two lovers locked in hatred. It had been centuries since we had been so close, so intimately close. When mortal, my handsome lord often showered me with his affection and would make love to me endlessly under the waxing moon.
When he was made immortal, all human desires died away with the body rendering us no longer able to love as mortals love.
Even though we are immortal, we still feel love. We are still able to kiss, caress the other’s cold, dead skin, whisper poetry, dance and laugh. All those emotions do not abandon us. What we choose to feel, we feel. And so when Everard chose to abandon love and accept hate into his heart, I chose to abandon my love for him and accept my new love for my fledgling. My beautiful young fledgling who was conspiring against me. Damn him!
I lay in his bed, surrounded by his hard body. In our silence, his eyes looked into mine. I watched him, respecting and resenting the regal figure that pinned me to his blood-stained silken sheets all at the same time.
Anger still burned intensely in his eyes, though his expression had now become serene. At that moment, he almost looked like a porcelain doll. I wanted to share in his anger with him, to share his grief, his pain. I wanted to open myself up to him, to cradle his black head in my lap, caress him as a mother caresses her child. But I knew that what I felt was madness.
As if he could read my thoughts, my eternal lover relaxed slightly. Slowly, tenderly, he raised his hand and placed it on my face. His action surprised me, but I showed no such emotion. I merely allowed him to do this, while my eyes watched his every move.
“Why do we do this?” He suddenly whispered to me. All traces of anger gone.
“Do what?” I answered.
“Pretend that we are no longer companions.” His fingers began to trace my jawline. Gentle, careful, as if I were made of marble.
“Because we are not, Everard.” It was a bitte
r-sweet revelation that made me feel sad. “We have not been for many a century.”
“But we could be,” He whispered leaning closer to my face. I inhaled his scent. So intoxicating and powerful that he sent me into overdrive. “Again.”
“And what madness has possessed you to think of such a thing?” I breathed as he toyed with my lips.
“You're here. Your presence intoxicates me as much as it irritates me. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I no longer want you, Ah, but the more I want you.”
“I would serve you no good,” I whispered gently, my own anger lost. We were actually communicating now, and I did not know why. The whole situation unnerved me. This was not the Everard I knew.
“I could teach you things. There is still so much that you could learn about your gifts my love. I could teach you, show you and we could become one again, like in the old days.” At his false hope, I smiled.
“The past is the past love, let’s forget it. I do not wish to continue living in my shadow.” His jaw tightened slightly at my words.
“But what if I cannot forget it?”
“What is it you cannot forget?” He sighed a heavy sigh and for the first time turned his eyes away from me to the dead girl that lay at my side.
“I am a monster. A cold-hearted murderer who preys on the fear of others. I am a killer, a hunter.” Then turning his eyes back to mine, he said coldly, “A stealer of lives.” Ah, so he wanted to talk of my making.
“We are all stealers of lives,” I told him halfheartedly.
“Admirable of you to lie so freely.” He scolded gently. “But we both know you haven’t killed a victim out of pure hatred. I have and will again. I’ve stolen mortal lives and forced them into eternal darkness whether they wanted it or not. I have made fledglings that loved life yet I stole them greedily away from the light and threw them into the dark. I stole you.”
“Everard,” I began wearily, but he cut me off.
“We never had the opportunity to talk about it. You never had the opportunity to consent or refuse me. I just took you for my own selfish desires. I couldn’t bear the thought of being parted from you. I was cast into a world that I knew little about. I didn’t have a choice in my making. And so I returned to you, raging and angry and hateful, jealous of your life, your humanity. I couldn’t bear the thought of you living. I wanted you to suffer the same fate as I, so I took you against your will. I...” He stopped in mid sentence.
His hand upon my face fell onto my stomach. I felt a surge of memories flood back to me in an unwanted tidal wave. A sharp breath escaped my lips at his touch. His eyes held mine as he spoke. “I murdered our child.”
I couldn't stand it any more. “I went back there,” I whispered mournfully. My voice monotonous. “To our apartment. I went out to hunt, but I ended up back at the house.” I forced myself to sit up, my lover slowly recoiled in bitter sadness, but I took his hand in mine. He softened. “I visited the grave my sweet. It’s abandoned. Ivy hangs overgrown over the tomb; it smells of death even though there is no body or no bones lying beneath it. I pity the place. I...”
“I took everything from you,” He answered, “Your brother, our unborn child, your life.”
“The past is forgotten,” I answered sadly. It was a lie. The past was not forgotten. It could never be forgotten.
Everard sighed heavily before reaching out his slender arms and encircling me in a tight embrace. He pulled me to his chest, and I let him. He smoothed my hair as he once did when I had arisen a distraught vampire. I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the moment one last time before I left him for good.
“Oh my love,” He said to me softly. “I have lain with many a mortal woman since you left me. In my pain I went on a killing spree, I indulged in the most twisted, sickest perversions that I could imagine. Yes, there were many beautiful mortals, but not one of them was as beautiful as you. When I lay with the living, it was not the temptation that I was seeing. It was you.”
I smiled into the silk of his chest like a bashful child. “Fool.” I whispered and for once I heard him laugh. It was like music to my ears, light and magical. For a time, we were not two immortal beings entwined in darkness. No. we were two mortal lovers again.
*****
I don’t how long we had been lying there on the bed, but I was awoken by the sound of my phone ringing. I sprang to my feet at the sound and pulled my phone out of my leather jacket. I looked at the screen. It was Kyle. Swiping my finger across the screen, I answered. Everard was sleeping like a raven-haired angel.
“I know you are at a loss as to why I haven’t come home, my love,” I whispered to Kyle, my anger burning. I knew that he wanted me dead. All this time he had conspired against me. He was jealous of my feelings for Everard. He was selfish. He wanted me all to himself but he knew that he could never have me. As much as I tried to deny it, I belonged to only one vampire: Everard Nightingale.
For a long moment, he didn’t answer. The phone line went dead. My fledgling was furious, I could sense it. could feel his hate, his resentment.
I turned to look at my lover then. He was sleeping, his arms spread wide out over the bed like an angel. I had to make my move now; I had to leave him, unnoticed.
I remained silent. All I could hear was the sound of the crackling fire in the hearth behind me. I stood as still as a ghost, unmoving, apprehensive. My head bowed slightly, looking at the floor. My mind raced as I began to think how he should never have taken my humanity away and killed our child. Even now, the memory was too painful to bear, even after all these centuries.
I could feel his eyes burning into mine before I lifted my head to look at him. When I did, he was half smirking his famous arrogant smile.
“I should go” I whispered in a strange tone. I tried to make a move, but my lover shot his hand out to my wrist, halting my steps. I looked down at his hand on my wrist before looking back up into his eyes.
“So soon?” He answered, “You’ve only just arrived.”
“I have business to attend to in London,” I told him. He snorted then.
“Of all the excuses!” He began, and just like that the monster returned. I was in no mood to listen to his childishness. I had put with his childish ways for half of my newborn vampire life. As a mortal, he had never been so cruel and deceitful.
“There is no further reason for me to stay now my love,” I whispered tiredly to him. Everard's eyes sparkled a deep blue then, and I felt my heart race.
“You are going to walk back into the world and be at great risk of being murdered while you slumber?” He questioned.
“It's a risk I am willing to take,” I told him, “Besides” I continued, “If I were to die, it would be by your hand. You're my death!”
Everard studied me for a long moment then before finally, gracefully walking over to me, his silken shirt shining in the dim candle light. I watched hi every move, waiting.
“You know I won't kill you” He purred gently then, his blue eyes glinting in the light. “I made you because you are beautiful. Why would I want to end such beauty?” Flattery.
“It wouldn’t be up to you would it?” I stated bluntly, unappeased by his flattering remarks. “My fledgling is a manipulator, a deceiver. He corrupts, and he possesses. If you were to kill me right now and he was in control, I wouldn’t stand a chance against you.”
“And how do you know this for certain?” He questioned, I frowned.
“You tell me,” I whispered, staring at him.
He was so calm and collected that it was maddening. I didn’t want to know any more, so I moved from the roaring fireplace and made way to the door.
“I have to go,” I told him again, but as I made way to leave, his cold slender hand caught my arm to prevent me from leaving once again.
“For over a hundred years I have not seen you, August, and now you are going to leave me again?” I turned my eyes to face him but when I looked at him, his face was inches away from my own. My sou
l set on fire as I stared into his eyes. I became uncomfortable being so intimately close to him. Even after all these centuries with him, Everard still had the power to seduce me and he knew it.
“What do you expect me to do Everard? Stay? And do what? No, I have a life back in London, I must return before dawn.”
“Dawn would have already reached London by now,” He said gently, “If you left for London now, you would be burnt to cinders in an instant!”
I laughed then. A sharp bitter laugh. “And that would be a bad thing?” I snapped, “We are evil creatures. Perhaps death is what should befall us!”
Instantly, Everard grew angry at my answer. He released my arm sharply.
“Then why don’t you walk into the path of the rising sun now if you truly want to die?” He snapped.
I did not answer him. I was tired of arguing. I sighed heavily.
“I don’t want to fight with you Everard” I muttered softly, “I have done what you have bid of me. I came at your call, and now I must leave. I have business to attend to, and a fledgling to kill.”
“You're going to kill alone?” He questioned me in his deep French accent.
“Yes,” I answered simply, looking deep into his eyes. For a long moment, Everard remained silent, his pale face an emotional mask.
“You’re too weak.” My immortal lover finally said, his voice low and dangerous. “Even a fledgling is too strong for you, my sweet.”
When I did not answer, he began to pace around the room before he finally resumed his seat in the red velvet arm chair. He spread his legs out over the little oaken table in a relaxed manner. I watched him from where I was standing by the door, and suddenly he seemed like the young man I remembered from our mortal years. He sat with a slender hand raised to his chin as if he was deep in thought.
“Sit,” it was almost a command. Hesitantly I obeyed, more out of curiosity than his power over me. A long silence passed between us as he sat there staring at me, drinking in everything about me. “It has been too long since I last saw your face,” He said to me. “After our ‘bitter’ departure all those years ago.”