by Delka Beazer
She trembles in my arms. “Put me down,” she says in a cracked, scared voice.
I open my mouth to crush her ridiculousness when a thought strikes me, I shake some of the desire from my brain and gently lower her to the floor, no sooner had she landed than she takes off in the direction of what I presume to be the bedrooms, I hear a door open and slam, the distinct clink of a key being driven home. I slump against the wall, my breath still coming in ungainly spurts. It is probably best I stay out here for now. I open my eyes and see nothing but her soft, flushed face, my face hardens, tonight will be a different story.
Chapter Eight
Daphne
“This cannot be happening,” I groan.
My ear is pinned against the door as I listen for his footsteps. Would he dare? I don’t know but I would put nothing past this man. He is a braggart and a womanizer. How many hotel employees had he seduced? The thought makes me shiver and I have to fight back a cry along with the urge to stalk outside and order him to get the hell out of my home.
But who am I kidding? Elaine.
I had not thought that she hated me as much as that, today has crushed that hope forever for me. I wrap my arms around my chest, trying to calm my beating heart. What was wrong with me? I have been kissed exactly two times before and now I’ve doubled that, and he wants more. I close my eyes to block out the feel of his body, so hard, so big, everything about him terrifies me, I stuff a fist into my mouth, its worse because somehow I want it too!
I want a total stranger to touch me, to feel me, and only the devil knows what else. I try not to think of it but the images come swarming back, mocking me, making me burn with anger and desire. I remember once catching two of my friends at it, it had looked disgusting and messy but now I don’t know what to think or feel.
I gather myself up from the door and go over towards the bed. I collapse unto it, bury my face in a pillow, I cannot get the way his tongue tasted and moved out of my mouth, his fingers on my breasts. I scream into the tired softness, pound my fists into it.
I cry and hiccup for several minutes, wishing daddy was still here to protect me, help me make the right choices.
I had become a maid because Elaine had hurt her back in her cleaning job at the airport; Daddy had died just three months before from stomach cancer. Roughly half of my measly salary went to the care and maintenance of Aubrey. I had promised dad to take care of him and this money if he still gives it to me would brighten Aubrey’s future tremendously, he would actually have a chance at going to college and finish it.
I chew my bottom lip as I contemplate my predicament. He would not give it to me now, not after I spurned his sexual overtures. I sit up on my bed and look into the dull glass of my dressing table. A pale, trembling girl, eyes bright with tears and confusion, stares back at me. Beneath that lurks something else, something that has just come into being, my mouth forms a little o as I note the heightened blush on my cheeks.
I groan and fall back unto the bed. He has said one night, he’d be gone after tonight. Certainly I can withstand this devastation until then?
I stay in my room for the rest of the evening. I glance at the tiny plastic clock on the dresser, it is nine o’clock Elaine and Aubrey returned two hours ago. My eyes darken in anger. She cannot work but she can watch soaps for three hours! Strangely though I don’t hear him, a fool would think he’s gone but I can feel that he’s still out there, I chew my bottom lip as I ponder this new side of me. I have never been attuned to any person before. How can I feel this way about a man I’ve just met? Maybe I’m coming down with something. My stomach grumbles, I slap a hand over it, though the walls separating my room from Elaine’s and Aubrey is thin, being in the last bedroom and sharing a wall with the bathroom gives me extra insulation.
I hear Elaine telling Aubrey to go get washed up and go to bed. The water in the bathroom is running seconds later. She is talking to him and he is replying in monosyllables. I smile in the darkness of my room; glad that he is not buying into Elaine’s charm which always grows cold and deadly if she cannot get her own way. Finally I hear her mutter goodnight and then she says something in an undertone and I listen to two pairs of footsteps heading into the hallway right to my door, my heart plummets to the ground. I jump up off the bed and haul the door open.
“What do you think you’re doing,” I cry to Elaine, ignoring the domineering shadow standing behind her.
Elaine’s eyes even in the dim light coming through the hallway are shards of emptiness. “Nate is your husband, Daffee,” I cringe at her use of the appellation he’s given me, “you’ve made your bed, now you must lie in it.”
I grip the doorknob for support as she saunters away, leaving him behind. She closes her bedroom door with a definitive snap.
I hang my head, defeat washes through me. “Please don’t.” It is all I can say.
He does not reply and I lift my head to find out if he’s still there. He is.
He clears his throat roughly, the grey silver eyes are sparkling down at me.
“I won’t touch you if it’s not what you want,” he throws a glance over his shoulder, “but please don’t condemn me to sleep on that couch, its sinking like a ship.”
Despite myself a bubble of laughter comes out. The couch is pretty awful despite all my attempts to plump the cushions by adding extra fabric.
I still cannot make myself move away from the door.
He shifts his feet, drawing my eyes downward then swiftly back up as I feel him move closer.
“I wanted to kiss you this afternoon but only because I knew you wanted it too,” he pauses, “I’m many things Daffee,” there is a distinct chill in his voice which makes me shiver though the night is warm as usual, “but I would never make love to an unwilling woman.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say that I didn’t care, go sleep on the damned couch, that would make him leave sooner rather than later but I can’t. He is right, he had kissed me but I had wanted him too and he’d shown an uncanny accuracy in deciphering my wants.
I step back and he enters. We both stare at my little bed, not much bigger than a single cot really. It could never hold the two of us lying side by side, only spooned. I gulp at the thought.
I race over to the closet, and pull out extra pillows and blankets, I toss them to him. “Sleep on the floor.”
The only available space is right next to my bed, we’d basically be sleeping side by side, with me elevated by several feet.
He does not reply but begins making up his place on the floor. I scoop up some fresh nightclothes and toiletries, I am still in my uniform and dash towards the bathroom.
I stay as long as I dare without succumbing to sleep on the cold tiles, and when I finally push the door open an hour later, I hear his even breathing. Easing into my bed I try to make as little sound as possible. I lay awake for an interminable amount of time, and finally the threat of work forces me to close my eyes and try for sleep.
I stir and feel warmth, delicious scented warmth that is velvety and hard at the same time, I snuggle into it, bury my face in one of its crevasses.
Something is nuzzling my neck and it feels good, I groan, shove myself even further into the heat, the sensations of it.
“Daffee, Daffee, wake up.”
I recognize the voice even from my deeply tired slumber, I blink and turn towards it, my eyelids droop but I manage to pry them open. He is close, my nose is nestled in the hollow of his throat, I tip my head back and see his eyes in the moonlight coming in through my window, they glitter like a lazy moon on the sea.
He bends and brushes his lips across mine. My body trembles and I gasps softly, he takes my mouth for a few seconds, I revel in the sensations, squirm closer, desperate to have it continue forever, he breaks the kiss and rests his chin on my head.
“If we don’t stop this, I’m going to take your innocence.”
My eyes fly open. I had known from the start that if I didn’t get rid of him this would ha
ppen, I had sensed it in my bones and now I also know that I have a decision to make. I take a few seconds, bury my face in his shoulder. “Will it hurt?”
His breath hisses in. He had not expected that. “I don’t know. I only guessed that you were a virgin,” he shrugs lifting my head like a gentle wave, “a man like me rarely gets the privilege to win such a gift from a good woman.”
What does he mean a man like him?
But I can’t think of that right now, I feel warm and bubbly inside, incredibly, intoxicatingly so. He thought I was good, those were the kindest words anybody has said to me in a long while. I want to weep and wrap my arms around him at the same time, instead I press my lips against his. He groans and delves into my mouth. I open up, and my body begins to come alive freed from the restraint of my mind.
His long, broad fingers sweep up the hem of my nightgown, baring my legs in the moonlight. He rears back on the small cot. “I wish I could see you clearly.” He bends his head and trails kisses along the sensitive flesh, I stuff my fist into my mouth to keep from crying out, he parts my thighs and my body stiffens, he bends his head and trails the hottest little kisses along the insides of my thighs, my head thrashes from side to side, my back arches, it is unlike anything I have ever imagined. The feel of his fingers grasping the waistband of my cotton underwear makes me stiffen, but he is in no hurry and he whisks my nightgown off my head in one clean movement. I am bare and extremely glad for the darkness to hide the unbecoming slenderness of my body. I stare up into his eyes, and feel a shiver of apprehension at the way the stormy grey has turned to silver in the moonlight, he is not wearing his shirt and he moves from the bed and rapidly disposes of his khaki’s. I want to see him badly so I stare at the bulk of man hovering over me; he comes down, parts my legs and settles between them, I stifle a cry.
“Relax Daffee, don’t be frightened,” he rasps.
I nod and accept the feel of him, his firm, demanding mouth, his hands balanced on either side of my head, but mostly the feel of his manhood pressed rigidly into my belly, I lean forward and grasp his shoulder, pressing my body next to his, he trails kisses around my face, my ears, my neck, he goes lower and catches a nipple between his teeth. I had thought that I was beginning to know pleasure but this was surreal, I stuff my fist in my mouth again as I try to stifle the moans that floods my throat, my head thrashes to and fro on the narrow bed, finally, mercifully he releases my nipple and catches my mouth again. I am eager to try and please him the way he has pleased me. I rotate and buck my hips the way I have seen women do in the sensual dances of carnival, he groans deep in his throat, widens my thighs and wraps them around his waist, I feel his fingers down there, touching, soothing and the pleasure causes my muscles to contract, I am on the point of begging for him to have mercy, to stop, I lift my legs higher around his waist and weep softly into his shoulders, and then I feel him nudging me, my body stretches, hot, quick pain ricochets through me, I press my face into his chest. Unable to breath for fear and need.
His breathing is labored above me. “Do you want me to stop?”
I can hear the pleading need, the desire in his voice and I want it too, I want it with him.
I shake my head.
He bends forward and kisses me long and slow, deepening the kiss until my mind begins drifting away on a sea of pleasure and then there is a sharp, bright pain as he plows into me, I cry out into his mouth, my fingers claw and rake a path down his back, I gasp deep in my throat. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move beyond our joining, he keeps still as a statute waiting for my discomfort to ebb then his mouth begins working mine’s again and I whimper as the delicious feeling combats the ache inside me. My heart starts going back to normal and he releases my mouth and starts moving inside me, incredibly slow, deep thrusts. I close my eyes and grasp the muscled width of his shoulders, listen to his muted groans of pleasure, his pace quickens, he seizes my mouth, and his tongue does not play but demands my submission, I do. My body begins moving, mimicking the thrust of his tongue, synching up with his, pleasure begins to pool, ounce by ounce, until I can feel it with every plunge, I lift my hips, greedy for it to come stronger, faster, he surges downward, slamming into me, giving me what I want, he grips my hips holding me steady, I go with it and it gets better, the sensations more exquisite, more throbbing, I feel myself coming undone, I open my mouth and he swoops down and clamps his over mine, then it bursts, soaring through my veins, roaring with my body until I think I will melt away from it. I cling to him as his strokes became deeper and more insistent, I whimper as he drives my body to the edge once more and again the sensations crash around me, even as he trembles and lay still, his breath hot against my collar bone as he is engulfed in his own pleasure.
I blink, turn on the bed, and reach out a hand, my sleep deprived brain searches for the reason that I cannot find him on top of my small cot. I blink away the fog from my eyes and glance at the window. It looks all of 5 a.m. I need to get up in ten minutes to get ready for work at 6 a.m. I scoot closer to the edge of the bed, wincing at the soreness which attacks me. A shy smile stretches my lips, I bend my neck and glance over and see … the empty floor, the pillows with their sheets folded neatly on top. I jerk upwards and the first ray of dawn caught in the dresser glass illuminates the two wads of bills that have been left on top … and the dark man that is standing right behind me.