by E. L. Todd
Only for You
This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
Copyright © 2013 by E. L. Todd
All Rights Reserved
ISBN-13: 978-1492954903
ISBN-10: 149295490X
Only For You
Book One of the Forever and Always Series
E. L. Todd
For Kristina,
who loved this series more than I did, read it three times before I published, and told me she loved the world I created and the characters I made. You always encouraged me to push forward even when doubt crippled me. You satisfied my overwhelming neediness and always gave me honest feedback. Thank you for loving my novels and being the greatest best friend anyone could ask for you. This novel is dedicated to you with love and gratitude.
“Touch my mouth and hold my tongue
I'll never be your chosen one
I'll be home safe and tucked away
Well You can't tempt me if I don't see the day
The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie
'Cause when I opened my body I breathe in a lie.”
“Broken Crown” -Mumford and Sons
1
Penelope sat across from me in the small café on Fifth Street, a petite coffee shop that had the best coffee I had ever tasted. Michael Buble’s voice sang in the background, and the soothing melody immediately reminded me of an elevator or an Olive Garden, since both places always played his tunes. Penelope drank from her coffee and said nothing for several moments as she organized her thoughts. I wasn’t sure why she asked me to meet her there, but it seemed important.
The dim lighting of the café complemented the dark strands of her hair that reached past her shoulder. The color of her locks reminded me of my own, except mine were a slightly lighter shade, and her skin tone was also similar to mine. She was wearing a dress I let her borrow, the one I bought on clearance at the mall, and it fit her just as well as it fit me. She and I were the same size and height, which was convenient when we wanted to borrow clothes from each other. Penelope was a beautiful woman who was also successful and intelligent. Every man’s dream, really. I wasn’t surprised that Sean was so infatuated with her. How could he not be? If I were a guy, I would want to get with her too, as odd as that sounds. I leaned back in my chair and waited for her to speak. The stilettos I was wearing were making my feet sore, but I ignored the discomfort. I had to wear them all day at work, so I knew I should disregard the pain. We exchanged a few pleasantries about our jobs and our new workout routine at the gym, but nothing of any importance. I could tell how nervous she was by the odd small talk. Normally, she and I were laughing together constantly, making jokes about things only she and I understood. That usual jolly banter was absent that day. Patiently, I waited for her to address the real reason why we were having that meeting—without Sean.
“Scarlet, let me start by saying this,” she said as she played with the ring on her right finger, a plain band with her initials carved into it. It was the ring Sean gave her months earlier. She fingered it with shaky hands. “Sean is a great guy—one of the best that I know. I care about him very much.”
I felt my heart race in my chest as I listened to her words. I had given break up speeches my whole life, death blows to the heart, and I recognized the message immediately—she was dumping Sean.
“He and I have just grown apart,” she said quietly. “I don’t see this going anywhere and—I’m leaving him.”
I stared at her for a moment. “What do you mean? Sean has already brought you to his family estate in Connecticut. He is completely committed to you in every way. How can you not see it going anywhere?” I tried to hide my anger, but I couldn’t help it. This was making so sense whatsoever.
“It’s difficult to explain. Our relationship—”
I held up my hand to her. “There is someone else, isn’t there?” She stopped caressing the ring on her hand and met my gaze. I could tell by the shape of her expanded eyes that my assumption was right—she was already with some other guy. “How long?” I asked.
She shrugged her shoulders. “A few months, maybe more,” she said.
I took a deep breath, controlling the anger coursing through my body. I hadn’t been in a fistfight since high school, but I definitely wanted to knock her out, right in the middle of the café. If she wanted to leave Sean, I couldn’t stop her. That was completely her decision, even though it’s absolutely idiotic, but to cheat on him and fuck some other guy was unforgivable. “Are you going to tell him?”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” she said simply.
“He has the right to know.”
“It will kill him, Scarlet. I am already breaking up with him. Is it really necessary to tell him I’m leaving him for another guy?” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and revealed the diamond earrings that Sean bought her for Christmas. The sight made me want to punch her again. Sean treated her like a goddess. I don’t understand why any woman would leave him. He was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. He was also intelligent, fit, successful, and came from a wealthy family. Every girl wanted to jump his bones.
“Then why did you tell me?” I asked. “What makes you think I won’t tell him?”
“It doesn’t matter if you do,” she said. “That’s for you to decide.”
I looked down at my steaming chai tea latte, which I no longer wanted because of the overwhelming bile rising in my throat. It made me want to vomit. Sean was my best friend and I couldn’t believe she was doing that to him. I could only imagine how much it would crush him. We had been through break ups together before, but I knew this would be different. It would completely shatter him to pieces. I wasn’t looking forward to cleaning up the mess. “When are you going to do it?”
“Tonight.”
“Why are you telling me first?”
“You are his best friend, Scar. I know he’ll need you. Sean will be too upset to talk to you so I thought letting you know beforehand would make it easier on him.”
“How thoughtful of you,” I said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at her then looked out the window. I knew Sean was at work, enjoying the beautiful summer day in Manhattan, completely oblivious to the death blow that was coming his way in a few hours. A few weeks earlier, Sean and I went to pick out an engagement ring. After hours of searching, he finally designed the custom ring that he deemed worthy of his future bride. He hadn’t even paid it off yet. I couldn’t hide the ferocity in my voice. “You are making a mistake, Penelope. Sean is a great guy—the best I’ve ever known. I can promise that you’ll regret this. Whoever this other guy is doesn’t compare to the man Sean is—not even by half.”
She nodded. “You’re probably right.”
“He is going to propose. I even picked out the ring with him.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I am doing this now then—before it’s too late.”
“It is too late, Penelope.”
Penelope said nothing for a moment. Her fingers returned to the ring on her right hand, fidgeting under my intense stare of hatred. I used to like Penelope, and not just because she was perfect, but because Sean loved her so completely. She made him happy—and now she was going to kill him. If there was anyt
hing that I could have done to stop it from happening, I would have. I knew Sean really loved Penelope. I mean, really loved her. Even though I hated her with every fiber of my being at that moment, I knew I needed to try to convince her to change her mind. Sean would never forgive a girlfriend for cheating on him, but for Penelope, he might make an exception. That’s how much he loved her.
“Why don’t you think it over for a while?” I asked. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
“No,” she said as she shook her head. “I love someone else.”
“And you don’t love Sean anymore?”
“Of course I do,” she said quickly. “I’m just not in love with him anymore.”
“What an original line,” I mocked.
Penelope sat there quietly for a few moments. The room suddenly became silent and Michael Buble’s voice disappeared on the sound system. I looked at Penelope and she looked at me, clearly uncomfortable sitting so close to me. It was an awkward moment. Our friendship was over. I couldn’t hide the anger on my face and I felt my lips pressed together tightly in a scowl. I shook my head slightly as I replayed the conversation in my head. She was an idiot.
“Well, I should get going then,” Penelope said as she stood up.
I didn’t move from my seat. “Yes, I think you should.”
She stood there, waiting for me to rise and give her a hug, something that we used to do when we were friends. But she was just a whore in my eyes. I couldn’t believe she was doing that to Sean—he deserved so much better than her. I didn’t move from my seat. I didn’t even look at her.
“Goodbye, Scar.”
“Have a good life, Penny.”
2
I sat in the chair facing the desk and stared at my boss, Carl Rogers, who was a beefy middle aged man. The extra weight he carried around his stomach always made him sweat from the extra heat caused by his fat. He stared at me for a long moment. I already knew I was being disciplined for something. There was no other reason to call me into the office.
“You look lovely today,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow. “What? I mean—thank you?”
“You should come to my apartment for dinner tonight.”
I felt my heart accelerate. I heard rumors about this creep but I never thought they were really true. “I thought you wanted to discuss the manuscript I submitted?”
“I do,” he said with a creepy smile. “At dinner.”
I crossed my legs. “Why don’t we discuss it here?”
His smile dropped. “This manuscript was despicable. Did you even read it?”
I felt the anger rise. I knew I was the best editor in this building, including him. “Yes. And I know I did a wonderful job on it.”
“Well, you didn’t. And if you want to keep your job, I suggest you come over for dinner tonight.”
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was being threatened and harassed and there was nothing I could do about it. “No.”
“You really don’t want to cross me, Scarlet. I suggest you just do as you’re told.”
That just pissed me off even more. “No,” I repeated.
He placed his hand on the manuscript sitting on the desk then stared at me. “Last chance.”
I stood up and left the office. I shouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit. I wasn’t going to put out just to keep my job. And the only way he could prove that I didn’t clean that manuscript was if he replaced it with a new one. I walked back to my desk and sat down. When I looked up, I saw him glaring at me. He followed me to my cubicle and now he stood over me. His eyes were lit in flames and he looked furious.
“When I ask you to copy edit something, I expect you to do it.” My boss threw the manuscript on my desk, almost knocking over my cup of coffee as the pages slammed onto the surface. He stared at me with a look of anger. “And do it right,” he said as he stood back and crossed his arms over his chest.
Everyone else in the office stopped their work and looked directly at us. I was being put on blast for the entire company, berated for something I wasn’t completely sure of, and I felt the tears bubble under my eyes. I wouldn’t cry in front of my boss and colleagues, but I knew I would run to the bathroom and let the tears fall afterwards. Carl’s eyes looked enormous through the magnified lens of his glasses, and it increased his formidable appearance. I didn’t understand how he got away with such a hostile manner. What was Human Resources doing all day, other than ignoring company policy?
“You keep bragging about your fancy Harvard degree but you lack any ability to use it.” He pushed the manuscript closer to me as he continued his rant. “Edit this again, and if it isn’t perfect, you can find yourself another job.” Roger walked away and left me alone at my desk.
I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, trying to retain my composure in front of the audience that was staring at me. I grabbed the manuscript and flipped through the changes. My edits were always in red, but there were three marks made with a blue pen, which I recognized as Carl’s handwriting. One comma wasn’t placed between two independent clauses, and a semicolon was crossed out and broken up into two new sentences, something our high-profile author, Christine Dirkson, specifically stated she wanted to keep in her novel. The last mistake Carl caught was the incorrect indent of a paragraph, another specific request by the author. The author retains the rights to his or her book before it is published, and Carl was completely disregarding this rule, or he completely forgot about it. In either case, Carl Rogers was a complete ass.
I returned the manuscript to the table and thought rationally for a moment. I could walk into his office and defend my actions, which I was completely justified in doing, and demand an apology for disrespecting and humiliating me in front of my colleagues, or I could march to HR and tell them about the situation. Of course, they would do nothing, but my only alternative was to do nothing. As much as I hated myself for it, I choose the last option. I was so mad, I didn’t care anymore.
“Are you okay?” Janice asked as she walked to me. Her cubicle was directly next to mine. She and I immediately became friends when I started working there years earlier. “Roger can be an asshole sometimes.”
“Sometimes?” I snapped. “That man has hated me since the day I started working here, which doesn’t make any sense because he is the man who hired me.”
“Well, did you put out?” Janice asked.
I stared at her for a moment. “Excuse me?”
“He’s an office slut. Don’t tell me you’re ignorant to that? Most of the editors and secretaries have slept with him to keep their jobs. R and R is one of the best publishing agencies in the country. Everyone wants to work here.”
I shook my head. “That is disgusting.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
Candice, another editor, walked past us and headed for the water cooler against the wall. Janice and I just let her pass. Janice returned to her seat across from me and smiled, trying to make me feel better. It wasn’t working. Janice had long blonde hair and a petite waistline, and she was easy to get along with. We clicked on the day we met. If she wasn’t there to bridle my anger, I probably would have assassinated my boss by then. And then blew up the building for good measure.
“Did you—you know?” I asked her quietly.
Janice made a disgusted face. “Of course not,” she said quickly. “I’d rather work at Taco Bell than get under him.”
“Me too,” I agreed.
“Are you going to say anything?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “How would I start?” I cleared my throat. “Carl, you are a disgusting piece of shit, a horrible chief editor, and no one wants to fuck you because you’re ugly as ass. And you are a dumb shit.”
Janice’s eyes widened at my words. My foul language surprised her. I whispered so low that no one else in the office heard me, but it was obvious Janice caught every word. She chuckled to herself quietly and tried to hold back the giggles.
When she got hersel
f under control she said, “If only you’d actually said that,” she whispered. “I think you would be the office hero.”
“I would get a medal.”
She laughed. “Yes, you would,” she said. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed. “I hate working for someone else. Every boss I’ve ever had has been an incompetent jerk—I’m sick of it.”
“Then you should leave, Scarlet. You are better than this place anyway. Start your own editing company.”
“I wish,” I said.
“Do it, Scarlet. I mean it. You totally could.”
“No,” I said as I shook my head. “I still have student loans to pay and I don’t have any start-up cash to even begin.”
“What about Sean?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t want to ask him for money.”
“Why not?” she asked.
“I just don’t.”
“What about your mom?”
“That’s a negative, too.”
Carl Rogers left his office and shut the door loudly behind him. I immediately turned away from Janice and opened the manuscript to one of the pages he had marked. He strolled over and stopped directly next to my desk with his arms crossed over his chest. His lips were tight in a scowl and his brow was furrowed. He watched me for several seconds. I could feel the hostility in the air like the rising heat on a summer day. Carl continued to stare at me and I was feeling more furious with every passing second. The environment was so inhospitable there that I wanted to quit, but I couldn’t. I would be homeless. When I met his gaze, he glared at me then walked away. “Fuck off,” I whispered under my breath.
Janice looked at me from her cubicle and I met her gaze. She rolled her eyes then returned to her work at her computer. I made the three damn changes to the manuscript so I could return it to the bastard I hated so much.