I had to admit it was funny and Randy yelled at me for laughing. Mera not only disrupted the meeting, she brought it to a halt. I was glad because anytime I made a suggestion, Beck or Alex would ask, “When did you stop being humanitarian?”
Stating, ‘when you arrived ripped apart and swollen beyond belief’, wasn’t an acceptable answer. I had to lie and say the journey across the Great Divide opened my eyes.
The strategy meeting was needed, and I think it was bringing up good suggestions. Hopefully, the momentum wasn’t lost when Mera passed out. That gave me a moment to get back on the phones, which actually made me angry. Thirteen hours I spent sifting through extensions and getting them up and running, to have it be all for naught.
How the hell did Alex’s return cause that?
Quite simply, the Sonny who didn’t lose Alex didn’t lose faith.
That was all I could think of. At least the phones wouldn’t take me as long this time.
I wanted to go see Mera and talk to her, to tell her some things she didn’t know, so she didn’t appear to be crazy.
Like the game we played the night before. Thank God for score sheets.
I assumed she knew about Alex. How could she not? According to Randy she was clueless, hence why she blasted in the library so impulsively.
Alex was back and that had warranted her behavior. At least my reaction wasn’t public. I guess I was just as bad in my own way when I discovered him.
I went looking for Alex…
After taking another large swig of whiskey for courage and support in case I faced failure, I stumbled down the stairs. Yes, stumbled, because those first two giant drinks were taking hold. I fell with a loud bang.
I walked by Danny’s cell— the door was ajar and he was sleeping— then to the next. Empty as it was the night before. Finally, as I got to the cell directly across the way from the dorm, I saw the legs.
Slowly, while silently praying it was Alex, I opened the door.
It was dark, but there was enough light from the commune section and the narrow window to illuminate the sleeping face of Alex Sans.
What I felt at that moment was indescribable.
I stumbled back against the wall and couldn’t move. I couldn’t stop looking. I wanted to shake him, wake him, hug him.
But I couldn’t.
Stop. Breathe. Think.
I stopped. Was I breathing? Yes, I was. Thinking? Not much.
“Boots,” Alex said groggily, “this has got to be the creepiest thing I have ever seen you do.”
Startled, I jumped with an ‘ah!’”
“You sleepwalking?” Alex asked and swung his legs over his bed.
“Al … Al .. Al …”
“Alex,” he said. “This is more creepy than the time you took the bet from Levi to be the human scarecrow in the field.” He sniffed me. “You’re drunk.”
“Alex,” I breathed out heavily and reached to his face. “Alex.”
Alex stepped back. “Please don’t try to kiss me. It’s weird enough you were watching me sleep.”
I just stared.
“I may just wake Mera and tell her this one. She deserves it, making Boggle a drinking game.”
“Bog. Bog …”
“Boggle,” Alex said. “What is up with you?”
“Nothing. Bad dream. Cu … Cu …”
Alex tossed back his head. “No I will not cuddle with you.”
Why I did it, I don’t know. I spun so fast to run out of there, I smacked into the wall.
“Whoa.”
Then I raced out.
“Sonny, I’m joking,” Alex called after me. “Not about cuddling. I’m not doing that. Are you alright?”
I didn’t answer. My body shook and I flew up those steps, not without tripping, into my cell. I sat on the edge of my bunk, of course having another drink, and listened.
Beck must have woken; even whispering to Alex he was loud. “What is going on?” he asked.
“Sonny’s drunk.”
“Jesus, he was loud.”
“And he hit on me.”
“Oh he did not.
“He couldn’t resist,” Alex laughed. “Anyhow, seems they had a Boggle drinking game, or at least Sonny did.”
“That’s not like him,” Beck said. “Maybe I should bring this up to Mike. He may be dealing with something he can’t tell any of us.”
Deal with something I couldn’t tell? I buried my face in my hands; they hadn’t a clue what I was dealing with. Alex was back and it as more of a shock than I was able to handle.
27. MERA
Thank God, I wasn’t out anywhere near as long as the last time. I regained consciousness on the way there, and awoke carried in Beck’s arms. I may have continued to stay ‘passed out’ had it not been for the arguing between Beck and Alex.
“Let me carry her,” Alex said, “It was my fault.”
“I got her.”
“Let me.”
“Alex!” Beck blasted, and that was it, that was the moment I really came out of it. “I got her.”
I was glad it was Beck, for some reason it was probably less bumpy. He did carry me with edge, and storming footsteps. I tried to say, ‘Easy, please’ but no words emerged. I just bounced with his every stride, wondering how far that office was.
“I can’t believe you just scared her like that, Alex.”
“I said boo. Not even loud. Boo, that’s all.”
“Still.”
“Still?” Alex asked.
Oh, God please get me to Javier.
“You knew she could pass out. Javier told us that,” Beck snapped.
“Who the hell knew she’d do it again, so fast? I mean she didn't before we got here, so why …why …wow. The moment.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I was thinking. Mera doesn’t do anything in moderation.”
“What are you talking about?” Beck asked.
I’m here, guys, really.
“Passing out, vomiting …”
“Oh, please,” Beck scoffed.
“Drinking.”
“I’ll give you that.”
What the hell?
“I just got used to her not puking every five seconds when she sees something,” Alex said. “Now this. You have to admit, it is funny.”
“It isn’t funny,” Beck argued.
Thank you, Beck, for saying that.
“Admit it, it’s funny. She drops, we have to carry her all the way to the infirmary.”
“You won’t think it’s funny when she weighs three hundred pounds and you have to lug her that distance.”
What! Three hundred pounds?
“Why would she weigh that much?”
That’s what I want to know.
“Women sometimes gain a lot of weight when they are in this condition.”
Three hundred pounds?
“That’s right,” Alex said. “I remember Missy. Remember Missy? Itty bitty thing? She gained so much weight her mother didn’t recognize her. Like maybe a hundred pounds.”
“See what I mean? When my wife was pregnant with my kids, she gained a ton,” Beck told him.
“You’re a big guy. Big babies…”
“Make big mamas.”
Fucking assholes!
“So next time you decide to pop out and say boo, think about you carrying her.”
“I got it. Heads up.”
“We’re here.”
Thank God.
I had closed my eyes until I knew they were out of the room. Javier gave me a quick exam and left the room.
He told me, “You’ll stay here until I know you’re fine and that no one will startle you.”
It was a good hour or so. I took a nap, read an old magazine that was on the table, and ate a bowl of soup. I wasn’t going anywhere until I go the okay.
Then Javier came back in. “Whenever you’re ready you can return to your normal routine. How do you feel?”
“I’m actually fine.”
> “Any problems with this with your other pregnancies?”
“Not at all.”
“Well, you seem healthy, you’re not underweight. I think what’s happening is you are standing stiff, something causes you not to move, that alone restricts blood flow to your brain.”
“Locking knees.”
“Yes,” he said. “Then the shock of whatever takes that breath away comes and down you go. Alex said ‘boo’, he startled you.”
“More than you realize.”
“Well, I’ll let you go. Is it okay to let him in?” Javier asked.
“Who?”
“Alex.”
My heart thumped. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
Javier stepped out and I heard him warn Alex not to scare me. I was going to speak to him now. I was ready, no overreacting. Stop. Breathe. Think.
The door opened and oddly, Alex apprehensively poked his head in first.
My lips puckered and my face felt tense. I wanted to shout for joy, but I just allowed myself to bask in the moment. It was real. It really was Alex.
“Hey.” He shut the door. “Sorry for scaring you.”
“It’s fine. Just don’t do it when I weigh three hundred pounds.”
Alex chuckled and walked over to me. “You heard that?”
“Uh… yeah.”
“Man, Beck’s an asshole about that.”
“You were just as bad.”
Alex pulled out a chair and sat down.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He folded his hands and leaned into me. “This may or may not sound strange. You can tell me if it does. But I’m gonna say something.”
“Go on.”
“Mera…” He grabbed my hands and stared at me. A shock went through me. “It is so good to see you and so good to be back.”
I gasped.
“Don’t pass out, Mera.”
“Oh my God.”
“Am I right?”
I nodded slowly. "You remember dying?”
“Oh, hell no, I don’t remember dying. Jeez. It was a guess. Is that it?”
“Yeah, how did you guess that?”
“I had an inkling.”
“How?”
“Three weeks ago,” Alex explained. “Sonny and I were doing a Sleeper sweep. We saw a Sleeper giving birth. I was attacked and bitten. Remember that?”
“Yes.”
“Well, Sonny wanted to save the baby, I didn’t. We argued and he took off with the baby. Anyhow, he’s running, I’m getting my bearings, I chase him, next thing I know, down the hill, just beyond the pass are two Sonnys.”
“I heard you call out that you thought you were seeing double.”
“I did say that. Sonny didn’t realize sound travels and he said the words ‘time travel’, something about that baby and then ran. Hallucinations don’t go separate ways.”
“What happened, Alex? What happened with the baby?”
“Who besides Mike is the biggest humanitarian you know? Always opting to save the Sleepers?”
“Sonny.”
“Yeah, well, with a look like he saw a ghost, he hands me that baby, tells me to do what I need to do, and that we can’t let the baby into Grace.”
“Alex, did you kill that baby?”
Alex lowered his head. “I had every intention. I was injured, I walked back a little with it, had my gun to its head… I couldn’t. I saw a Sleeper approaching and I left the child. Anyhow, Sonny was so upset he left right (after?) (before?) Beck got back. But I kept thinking, why did Sonny visit from the future? What was he trying to prevent by stopping us from bringing that baby into Grace? At first I thought, a death. Who would impact Sonny so much that he’d come back in time, risk that? There aren’t that many of us. Man, I laid in that hospital bed thinking.”
“So you deducted.”
“Wasn’t easy. I thought maybe it was Beck, but when I thought that, Beck was already dead. Then he came back and got put on my list.”
I gasped. “You remember bringing Beck back? Randy said there was a strong possibility you wouldn’t, that we would hit the changed timeline and save the Alex that never knew Beck to be dead.”
“I hate this time travel shit, Mera, so please don’t add confusion.”
“Deal,” I said. “Continue.”
“Alright, the baby. Sonny left, so I figured it was something that happened while he was gone. I thought it was you or the babies, because you were attacked outside the wall. You lived. But how did that Sleeper newborn affect that? Anyhow…” he exhaled a long breath. “I figured, at some point after we reunited with Sonny, I would see a reaction in him, because apparently he didn’t time travel when he was in Grace.”
“You liked mysteries as a kid.”
“You bet, and I knew there’d be an ‘a-ha’, moment, that sometime after we got here, Sonny and whoever he traveled with would reveal something. Then Randy showed up. It was an ‘a–ha’ moment, but for us all, not just you, when you passed out. That’s when I realized it wasn’t Levi that sent Sonny back, it was Randy. Especially when I saw the new, improved Doctrines all but told Randy to come at a different time and oh, yeah, bring a time machine.”
“Did you ask Randy about that?”
“Yeah, and he said it’s probably because Sonny wants to go into the future. Randy was cool and calm,” he replied, “so I know he didn’t travel yet. I kept watching and waiting. Sonny would react to someone at some point, and I knew it would be big.”
“Did it dawn on you that maybe it didn’t have to do with death, that maybe it was just to make sure we all got here?” I asked.
“It did. Then ‘a-ha’ moment one.”
“One?”
“Yeah. I wake up just before dawn with Sonny standing over me like a serial killer. He couldn’t speak or move, he was in shock. I didn’t think anything about it. Then Randy embraced me. ‘A-ha’ moment two. What the hell? He gave me one of those big old Randy bear hugs. Hell, I just saw him the day before. Then it hit me, Randy, Sonny and you… all of you were together last night. Was that the night?”
“It was.”
“I thought I was the one that died, I was the one he went back and saved. But you were the clincher. You passed out from the shock of seeing Randy and you passed out from the shock of seeing me.”
“Oh, Alex.” I laid my hand on his face. “It was horrible.”
“One thing I can’t figure out is why that baby couldn’t come in the gates. Why change that?”
“We couldn’t go back and change the event that caused us to time travel.” He cringed. “Sorry, time travel talk. Anyhow, the baby was the reason you died. The community voted to euthanize it, Jessie took the baby back to the Sleepers and they took her. It was when you went to rescue her they got you.” A bright smile crossed my face.
“What?”
“Please. Was Jessie attacked?”
“No. She was the first on the bus with the babies just before Grace became Sleeper Town.”
My hand shot to my mouth. “My baby, she wasn’t beaten or raped. Oh my God.”
“Jessie was raped?”
I nodded. “She doesn’t have that pain anymore.” A tear rolled down my cheek “A lot of pain has been lifted from both of us.”
“I’m just glad this is the moment, because we still have a war ahead of us.”
“Alex, you obviously know I’m pregnant, right?”
“Yes, we found out yesterday. I didn’t think it was possible. I thought you were in that early menopause thing because you never got a period.”
“Me, too. Alex… does Beck… does Beck know who the father is?”
“He hasn’t asked. He said he doesn’t want to know.”
My fingers fumbled with his hands. “You know who the father is, right?”
Alex nodded. “Sonny.”
“What?” In my shock I screeched that word and pulled away my hands. “Are you kidding? You said you remember Beck dying.”
“I do.”
; “Then you have to remember, you’re the father.”
“Me?” Alex shook his head with a smile. “No. No way.”
“Yes. Yes way. Wal-Mart trip, too much booze, you got that movie player and we watched Omega Man. Right after we… we… we got… it was intense.’
Alex stared, then looked up to the ceiling and shook his head. “Nope. Doesn’t ring a bell.”
“I can’t believe this.” I stood up and put my hand on my head as I paced. “How do you not remember?”
“Because,” Alex said, walking over to me. “It wasn’t Omega Man, it was Planet of the Apes. Get your Heston flicks right.”
“You do remember.”
“Of course I remember. Omega Man was our second encounter. I was starting to think that Charlton Heston was an aphrodisiac for you.”
I tilted my head. “He reminds me of Beck.”
Alex blinked. “Charlton Heston reminds you of Beck? Six foot three, thin, blonde, blue eyed Caucasian Heston reminds you of six five, hulking black man Beck?”
“It’s the attitude.”
“Okay, I can see that.”
“What now, Alex?” I asked. “When you were… dead, it didn’t matter who the father was.”
“It still doesn’t. We all are a team. We’re all daddies to all the kids. This won’t be any different. It doesn’t matter who provided the lineage.”
“May I ask a favor before we leave here?” I stepped up to him. “May I just hold you? I missed you and I mourned you so much. Please.”
Alex took a deep breath. “As long as there are no Heston films playing, I don’t see any harm in that.”
I laughed then I slipped into the arms of my friend. It felt so good to see him, smell him, feel him, and even hear his bad jokes. To everyone else he had never gone anywhere, but to me he was back. That gave me an entirely new outlook on the dangers we had to face.
28. SONNY
“Tell me again why I’m coming with you?” Randy asked, sitting in the back of the pickup truck with me. “Doesn’t Beck have highly trained soldiers for this?”
Alex turned from the front seat. “Think of it as an honor, you’re part of the big four.”
“The big four?” Randy asked. “I don’t understand.”
Beck said, “Randy, you’re here because you have information. You know these things. You have lived your whole life with them.”
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