“Why yes, Dorian Zade, my tongue is quite accomplished. In fact, you once said my tongue’s other talents more than made up for my sarcasm.”
“Indeed,” he replied, his voice husky with lust he fought to hide. “I suspect there has never been a more profound truth.”
Gwen’s pleased laughter filled the elevator and then the bridge when she walked out onto the floor. The real Zade was inside his body somewhere—snarky attitude and all.
“So now tell me, what deity forsaken planet is the lucky winner of our next mission, Ambassador Onin?” Gwen demanded, bestowing her wicked smile on a female she detested.
Issa waited a couple heartbeats, savoring the shock it would cause, before smiling at what she was getting to say. And to whom.
“The Liberator and her crew have orders to return to Lotharius,” she announced. “The Peace Alliance is sending all of us to help find a missing dignitary’s daughter who was abducted. In fact, they’re sending two other rescue ships to help. The kingdom that has her is worse than Fener Sel’s ever thought about being.”
“Thanks for softening the blow,” Gwen commented, the smile falling off her face. “Why the hell are you smiling about going back to a place that tortures and kills their females?”
Issa shrugged. “Unlike you, I’m looking forward to going back. I haven’t had a decent bonding partner since I was rescued. The ones on this ship are way too nice for their own good. Once the Peace Alliance has a workable agreement in place that won’t result in my death, I’m hoping that I can get a permanent assignment there.”
“You are one creepy bitch, Issa Onin. Do you know that? Get off my bridge before I have you locked in the brig for traumatizing me. Have the PA orders copied to Captain Synar and me. I’ll set a course in that direction, but Synar will undoubtedly want to meet to discuss details later,” Gwen said.
Issa inclined her head to the angry female, feeling righteous for having pushed Commander Jet’s buttons. A better revenge would be if Ania Looren died of her recent injuries, but she doubted the demon would allow it. Satisfied at having done all the damage she could do for the moment, Issa turned and left.
After the elevator doors closed, Gwen sank into the captain’s chair, not able to take in that she was going to have to go back to the place that had captured and tortured her. It was too much to handle for a mind already overloaded with what had happened to Dorian and Sarinnea on Terris Rein.
“What is the reason for your extreme distress?” Dorian asked, sensing her confidence had been wiped away by something the other female said. He hadn’t been able to discern it from their conversation. Regardless of the reason, he decided he preferred his mate’s natural arrogance to the defeated expression currently on her face.
Gwen pointed to the scars on her thigh, easily visible in the slave clothing she still wore.
“Last time we went to Lotharius, I was captured and wired like one of their females. This is all that’s left of what happened. You and Ania came and rescued me, but not before they…” Gwen paused, seeing no way to adequately explain that this was their second mating connection. “One day when your memory returns, we’ll talk about the details of why I don’t want to go back Lotharius. Right now, I just want you to focus on the fact that you’re here and safe. I’m trying to let that be enough.”
Dorian walked to her seat and pulled her up. After sitting down in the chair himself, he pulled her back into his lap. “I will not let anyone harm you, Commander.”
Gwen laughed, noting the ensigns on duty trying to conceal their smiles. With Zade putting his hands on her in such intimate ways, it was a wonder she had the respect of any male.
“Zade, I’m happy you’re back in my life—really, really happy—but I can’t do my job while I’m sitting on your lap. It doesn’t exactly make me look very powerful as a leader, you know?”
“I do not mean to take away your power. I just could not allow you to keep that frightened look. A true leader should show no fear,” he whispered, keeping his voice low enough that the others on the bridge could not hear.
He felt her stiffen in his lap and look at him in shock. The surprise in her gaze made him want to laugh. Now that the drugs were clearing from him, he was starting to think more clearly.
What kind of mate had he been that his female was shocked at kind words from him? It was a startling thought.
Gwen looked closely into Zade’s eyes, then held his face in her hands to peer even more intently.
“Alright, Dorian Zade, I know you’re still in there. I want all of you back so we can fight again. I have to be way too nice to this version of you with no memory. The pressure is killing me,” she exclaimed fiercely, bouncing with frustration in his lap.
When Dorian laughed against her, Gwen put her arms around him and hugged hard, more pleased than she could ever say to feel him hug her back just as strongly. Their connection seemed to leap over the missing parts of their lives and focus on what was important.
So despite the ensigns sneaking glances at her slave girl outfit, Gwen stayed in Dorian’s lap until she felt him growing a little too interested in keeping her there.
Then she called his mother.
***
Sarinnea longed for a long soak in calming liquid like the warm springs near her home on Rylen, but had to settle for a simple hygienic cleansing in her assigned room’s miniscule facility. Coming out of the bathroom refreshed in body, but not spirit, she saw Jordon had fallen asleep in the single tiny bed allotted to her. The temptation to crawl on top of him and rest was almost overwhelming. If she’d been much younger, nothing would have prevented her from following the urge to claim her place.
But Sarinnea wasn’t young, and for the second time in her extremely long life, she’d been someone’s bonding slave. Though Siren to the core, her recent experience had cured her of acting on her inclination to bind the sleeping male to her—even though she badly wanted to do so—and technically had already started the process.
They had not fully bonded, not by Norblade standards, and Sarinnea had been careful to make sure of it. She had used the Siren’s gift of illusion to create good memories powerful enough to overcome the bad ones for Jordon, much like she had pleasured his sadistic owner despite her disgust.
She was not ashamed to have pleasured Jordon as often as she could during their ordeal, or to have accepted pleasure from him in return. It had been for both their sakes, but more for his healing than hers. So much horribleness, Sarinnea recalled, and now they were liberated, at least from slavery.
Now she would not take advantage of his gratitude again.
So instead of doing what she wished, Sarinnea sat in the desk chair and watched Jordon resting for long moments, wondering how the Norblade male could let his guard down enough to sleep so soundly. Maybe Jordon felt safe for the first time in years.
Maybe Jordon trusted that she would watch over him. Which of course was exactly what Sarinnea was doing at that very moment, even while her heart was already grieving that she couldn’t watch over him for the rest of his life.
Her entire spirit was still struggling to accept that she had found and helped rescue a male who turned out to be a natural mate for her. Yet whatever life lesson the Creators of All thought to teach her by this accident of fate was beyond her ability to comprehend.
If Dorian had been himself, she would have asked for advice. As it was, she had no one. So when Gwen called and asked her to come collect Dorian from the bridge, she was appalled to be so reluctant to leave Jordon, but there was no choice. The other male she was bound to needed her. Not wanting to wake the male in her bed, she left quietly to go take care of the child who had no memory of her.
She and Dorian were walking to his quarters and almost there before her too quiet son finally spoke to her.
“Gwen says you are my biological parent. You seem too young for such a fact to be true. Yet I do feel a link between our energies,” Dorian said.
“What Gwen says is tr
ue. My youthful appearance is a gift of our species, or rather my species. I am full Siren. You are part Greggor,” she said plainly, stopping in front of his quarters. “Wave your hand over the lock and it should open.”
He did as Sarinnea said and the door lock clicked. A tiny push from her hand opened it easily. Dazed, Dorian walked into a room that was large, comfortable, and smelled like Gwen. It made him want to go back to the bridge to be with her.
Sarinnea walked to the mirror. “Come here a minute,” she ordered, motioning him forward with her hand.
After he had walked to her, she stood by his side and lifted her chin, pointing to the mirror until he had no choice but to look at their reflections.
“Your name is Dorian Eli’oh Zade. You were born to Sarinnea, Elite Siren of Rylen. My family has served on the Rylen Council of Wisdom for fourteen thousand years. Now stick out your tongue.”
Dorian tilted his head, turned to look at the real female instead of the reflection as he tried to figure out what she intended by her odd request.
“I have a reason. Look in the mirror as you do it,” Sarinnea ordered, almost wanting to smile at her son’s skeptical nature peeking through.
He turned his gaze back to the mirror and stuck out his tongue as commanded, noting a tiny smile almost reached her eyes when he wiggled each side of his split tongue.
“You look like a full Siren, but you have your Greggor father’s tongue. He and I were mates for over three hundred years. He returned to the Creators shortly before you took your first mate. You get your temper, your strength, and your Greggor tongue from him. You get your wisdom, your spiritual leanings, and your ability to love completely from me,” she said.
“Gwen Jet is not my first mate?” he asked, zeroing in on the most surprising piece of news he heard in her statements.
Sarinnea shook her head. “No. Commander Gwen Shenu Jet is your third Earthling mate. Though I continue to lament your urges toward that fragile, short-lived species, you keep attracting and being attracted to them. When you are not mated to one, you observe spiritual celibacy, which is not healthy for a Siren. But like your father, you are a male of extremes. It is both a strength and a weakness for you.”
Dorian frowned. “I am quite obsessed with Gwen. I am compelled to be near her.”
“It was a choice you made to be so. To avoid being unfaithful when you were sold as a bonding slave, you mated Gwen the Siren way and sent her an energy cord,” Sarinnea told him. “You never got to seal your union by physical expression. I can only imagine how much physical discomfort that causes you…and her. I am sure it is more torturous than celibacy by choice.”
He walked to the bed, looked at the rumpled bedclothes. “Her energy is in this room. Does she not normally reside with me?”
“The commander has her own quarters. Sleeping here was probably a coping mechanism for her after you were abducted. The mating cord you sent from the slave trader’s ship bound her inseparably to you. As the long as the cord remains in her, there will never be another male for her by choice. Some other male could force her physically to bond, but she will never desire anyone but you ever again,” Sarinnea said.
“I have no memory of what you describe,” Dorian said in shock.
“You sent the Siren’s call and your mate accepted it. It is the Siren way, and we were in desperate circumstances. You had already chosen each other. No spiritual harm was done. However, you held nothing back from her in your mating cord, so Gwen got all the gifts the Creators deemed her worthy to receive as your new mate. Until you get your memory back, there is no way to find out what you gave her. In truth, you may never know until each mating gift manifests in her and makes itself known.”
Dorian sat on the bed and looked around. He had a sense of belonging to the items in the room but no memory of how he fit them. Trying to remember was like being in the dark and searching for a light.
“So she is coming to me later, but we never…we have never…?” Dorian found even trying to form the question hurt him on the way out. Yet he wanted her. And he would have her. Not having her was not a choice he could make.
“To my knowledge, you never completed a physical bond before you mated her. The day I arrived on the Liberator you had obviously been with her in some manner, but I don’t think you have merged your bodies. It is inevitable that you will, but just know it may be your first time,” Sarinnea said. “She deserves your care, my child. Siren bonding without restraints can be a bit much for most creatures. Your mate is strong, but be as careful as you can.”
Sarinnea turned away from the compassion for his mate that she saw in her son’s gaze. Even without knowing who he was, Dorian was a good male. So they could drug him and they could make him forget the people who loved him. But they could not really change the male he’d made himself to be. Closing her eyes, Sarinnea thanked the Creators of All for their support.
“Why are you in deep emotional pain? Were you abused in some manner by those who bought you on Terris Rein?” Dorian asked.
Sarinnea nodded, unable to lie to her son. “Yes…but not as badly as I might have been. I used my Siren gifts to avoid the worst of the abuse. But Dorian, I continue to allow Jordon to believe it happened to me as it did to him. I have many reasons for doing so, but partly it is because I wish for him to consider me an unfit partner.”
“I don’t understand. Why practice such a deceit on someone you only met in captivity?” Dorian asked.
Sarinnea lifted her chin. “It is to help both of us and help me undo some unintentional harm I have done to him. I regret sharing my full compassion with a mated male. Jordon already has a mate in his life, and Norblades are usually very faithful creatures. If his female has been waiting for him all this time, he must return to her both morally and by the laws of his people. Jordon needs and deserves a chance to have a normal life, children, and a female who can offer him forgetfulness. I could only serve as a constant reminder of what we endured.”
“But where does that leave you? The Norblade male still has your full compassion,” Dorian said firmly, suddenly knowing it for a truth, though he was not sure how.
Sarinnea bowed her head. “Yes my child, he does. You have intuited the truth, but I pray Jordon does not. I request that you please keep my confidence in this matter.”
“As you wish,” Dorian said, bowing his head back in answer.
What did he know of the strange Norblade male? Or even of this female professing to be his parent? In light of what Sarinnea had shared with him, he now had doubts about his connection to Gwen Jet as well. How could he have spent nights with the hot-blooded female and not availed himself of her willing body? Not only was it illogical, his physical body indicated the impossibility of such an act of restraint.
“I will wait while you get cleaned up, and then we will go for food together. Perhaps Jordon will be awake by then and can go with us. I left him sleeping in my room,” Sarinnea said. “Do you need medical attention for anything?”
“No—I am uninjured, but can we go by Medical and check on…who was the injured female I carried?” he asked. “I felt a connection to her as well.”
“Ania Looren,” Sarinnea said, nodding. “Yes. We can go check on her. She was your teacher and your friend for many centuries. Her mate, Captain Liam Synar, is like a sibling to you. The Liberator is the third ship you’ve chosen to join just because that Norblade male was on it. You even stood for him at his mating ceremony to Ania.”
“How can I not remember these intimate connections?” Dorian asked, closing his eyes against all he had forgotten. “Was the one entity a demon? I heard them say that about him, but did not feel I could ask for confirmation. His energy is very dark, but I was not afraid. No one seems to harbor fear of him though I sense great power in him—not all of it benevolent.”
“You may have lost your memories of us, but I see your intuition still serves you well. Yes—Malachi is a demon, but he is mostly benevolent. He is bound to Ania and Captain Syn
ar,” she told him.
Dorian thought about the entity and how surprised he had been by his lack of fear of him. He had lifted the host body and treated it kindly. It had just seemed the right thing to do when the demon had asked for help.
“Dorian, I have heard that memory loss usually heals itself, and that time is the best medicine. Jordon said you were likely drugged daily, since you spent almost the entire time in the doctor’s torture cage. I wanted to come and get you out. In fact, I have never wanted anything more fiercely,” Sarinnea said, turning her face to bite her fist, trying desperately to prevent the tears that only weakened her.
He rose and went to her, putting his arms around her, allowing her to bury herself in his embrace. If he’d had words, he would have said them, but he wasn’t sure what would help. Their connection was real—he felt the energy—but he still couldn’t feel the emotions.
“Each day of our abduction, I prayed your warrior mate would find you and kill your captors,” Sarinnea said.
“It’s okay, Sarinnea. The last time they tried to drug me, I ended up killing them myself,” Dorian said simply, hearing her groan and start to sob. “By the time Gwen and I located each other, she had killed five of her six captors. She said she was on her way to me, so your prayers were well placed. I think the female claiming to be my mate is quite capable of anything.”
“Indeed she is,” Sarinnea said firmly, pushing away and rubbing the tears from her eyes. “That is a profound truth if I ever heard one. The only fault Gwen Jet seems to have is that irreverent tongue of hers. Since you only seem to find it appealing, I overlook it to focus on her more pleasing qualities to my sensibilities.”
Reminded of Gwen’s teasing in the elevator, Dorian smiled as he walked to what looked like a clothes chest as Sarinnea worked to compose herself. Inside the chest he found clothing that seemed like they would fit. He pulled out pants and a loose shirt in a color he liked.
“Gwen said I liked her irreverent tongue, and she promised to remind me why later,” he said.
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