“Zade—everyone’s going nuts without that calming effect you drop over the ship. I seem to be the only person on the receiving end of it currently,” she teased, brushing back his short hair. “I get it now. I get why the Liberator needs you and why you chose to do this work when you’re the fiercest warrior aside from Ania that I’ve ever met. So come on back and do your counseling thing, okay? I promise not to harass you over it again.”
She received no answer, but Gwen kept her heart chakra open to him. She wanted her love and acceptance to be the first thing he felt when he came back.
Chapter 17
Chiang opened the door of his new quarters and stepped back to let Boca walk inside.
“This room cannot be your quarters. It is a room for patients,” she said in dismay, looking around. “Where is your private area?”
“Evidently I don’t have any now, but there’s a sleeping room smaller than my old room behind that first door,” Chiang said bitterly. “My bathroom is larger, but that’s because it has to service patients when needed. I guess my privacy is a thing of the past.”
Boca firmed her mouth. “I am sorry you have been forced into this position. Obviously, you somehow think I am to blame. I do not see how.”
Chiang walked to the desk and pulled out the chair to sit. “No. Actually, Zade is to blame for me being forced back into medical service. You are to blame for other things.”
He opened the desk drawer and pulled out the controller device Boca had surgically removed from her mate’s hand.
“I hope you took good notes when you removed this because you and the senior medics are going to have to install it in my hand soon,” Chiang said sharply, watching what little color Boca had in her face fade away. “But I intend to adjust it down to the lowest shock setting before you do.”
“But I thought…Jurek…or even Captain Synar…” Boca said, the statements offered haltingly as she met Chiang’s fierce glare.
“I cannot allow any other male to control you,” Chiang said flatly, holding her gaze. “Not now. Not ever. I’d kill any male who tried to harm you. It is not my choice, but that’s just how it is.”
“But you haven’t…we have never…” Boca tried to draw in a breath, her chest constricting to think of Chiang having that level of control over her. She would have been less of afraid of Malachi having it, even though she quite understood the demon’s true nature was self-serving.
When Chiang stood and crossed the floor to her, she had to tilt her head back and up to keep holding his gaze. His hand reached out and gripped her shirt lifting her up to her toes. Fear, greater than any she had ever felt, robbed her of breath totally when he growled at her, an animal-like sound she had never heard uttered by a male before.
Then blissful darkness claimed her.
His anger dissipated instantly when Chiang felt Boca suddenly go limp in his hands. What in Helios had just happened? He had intended to kiss her, not hurt her. Didn’t she know that?
“Shades of Kellnor—Boca. Boca,” he called urgently, lifting her into his arms, carrying her to his tiny bedroom to lay her gently on the tiny bed. He wanted to hold her, to pick her up and rock her, but he didn’t dare. He was too damn afraid of what it might do to him, and what he might be tempted to do to her.
“Wake up, Ensign Ador. That’s an order,” Chiang said brusquely, following it with Greggor curses when she still didn’t move.
He went to the bathroom and rummaged in the medical kit there until he found a cold compress. Crumpling it to activate the gel, he felt the cold seeping throughout it as he brought it back to her and put it on Boca’s forehead. Touching her again was his undoing. He wanted to weep over having caused her to faint.
“You’re supposed to be some blasted fierce warrior female and yet you pass out on me when I’m mad. I just wanted to kiss you to ease my own torment that they’re sending you back to those bastards that hurt you, and I can’t stop it. You need to get your warrior act together if indeed you are one. Boca—I’m the good guy, not the one you have to genuinely fear,” Chiang insisted, hands trembling as he checked her vitals, which appeared mostly normal.
Had she gone into some kind of trance to escape him?
Chiang groaned at the thought and put his face between her breasts. He wanted to cry, scream, and berate the Creators for their role in their lives. He’d never been afraid for a female before, never worried that he would prove insufficient to protect one. Every insecurity he had was evident to him in the lax body of the only female he’d ever not been able to deny wanting.
“I want to run away with you to someplace where we can live peacefully and never have to be exposed to this kind of life again. We’ll plant a garden, work with our hands,” Chiang promised, whispering against her. “We’ll grow old together and make bets on which one of us outlives the other.”
He felt her small hands stroking his hair and turned his lips into one of them.
“Thank the Creators. Please do not pass out to escape me again. I know you don’t want this connection to me. I don’t want it to you either. And I’m not the best person to go with you back to the nightmare you escaped, but I’m going anyway. You have no choice except to get used to it,” Chiang said. “I have no choice except to go.”
“I knew you were going to be a problem for me the first time I saw you, Chiang of Greggor,” Boca said hoarsely, putting a hand to the cooling gel pack and pressing it to her eyes.
“I feel I am being forced into doing what I do not wish to do, but I can’t let you go with someone else just because I’m afraid for us both,” Chiang said.
“I am afraid, but I’m doing it anyway,” Boca said firmly. “I must go. There are so many captive females still there, Chiang—not just that one official’s daughter. I have to try and free them.”
“Are you really the fierce warrior Gwen thinks you are?” he demanded.
Boca adjusted the cooling pad on her forehead. Her head was throbbing from her momentary unconsciousness, but her mind was clear.
“I don’t know if I am or not. My Sumerian mate denied me the chance to find out. Are you going to try to use our connection to deny me the same?” she asked.
Chiang growled again and climbed over her in the bed. He lay down by her side, his arm across her. “I am not your mate. What say do I have in the matter?”
Boca closed her eyes and pulled the cooling cloth over them. She was silent while she thought. The Greggor’s desire called to her to meet it, but once she did, it was like handing him an invisible controller. She was Sumerian. She would be energetically bound to do as he demanded if she committed to him as his mate. Disobedience would mentally damage her.
She thought of the women on Lotharius, those who would die for entertainment, those who feared to speak of their pain. She thought of those who were stolen from their true mates. If she could affect change in that society, perhaps it would satisfy the warrior spirit that had always lived within her. Perhaps then she could tolerate being someone’s mate again.
“If you support me in this mission, I will become your mate when we return,” Boca declared flatly. “And it will suit me well if, for you, the situation is temporary.”
Chiang rose up to look down at her. “Why would you offer to make that kind of agreement with me?”
“Since you are not a warrior, it would be difficult for you to understand why I need to go back to my torture on Lotharius, no matter what I say in explanation. Just know that if we survive the challenge, Chiang of Greggor, I consent to share your bed until you can rid yourself of your need of me, providing you promise that we will part ways as friends. I see you have achieved that with Commander Jet, so you must be a male whose word can be trusted,” Boca said, pulling the cooling pad from her eyes.
“But you hate me. I made you faint,” Chiang said. “Why would you consent to bonding?”
“I was just overwhelmed with the idea of giving you physical control of me, probably because I fear the connection between us,
more than I fear you. As for your concerns about my suitability, I promise you that when a warrior is needed, I will find a way to be one. I cannot prove this yet. You will have to take my word that the possibility lives within me,” Boca ordered softly.
Chiang said nothing as he studied her earnest gaze on him. Who was this strange female that was stoically bossy one minute and emotionally fragile the next? And why did he already feel like he belonged to her? Why had he been turning away all the other females on the Liberator since they shared the healing for Gwen?
“You cannot blame me for having doubts when you have consistently sent me away and refused my offers for bonding,” he said flatly.
“No, I do not blame you. If you like, we can seal our agreement with a Sumerian mate’s kiss. It carries vibrations which should ease your currently uncomfortable celibate condition that I do accept responsibility for causing,” she said quietly, hoping on some level Chiang would refuse, but willing to risk the sharing if it bought his support.
Only the Creators knew all she had done to appease other males in her life. The Greggor was just one more.
“How are you aware of my celibate condition?” Chiang demanded, wondering if his physical frustration was visible somehow.
Boca sighed. There was no other choice. Greggors were a physical species. Chiang would only understand his own relief. Her life would change, but he was going to press her into servicing him anyway. Males of all species were alike once they felt ownership of a female.
“Because you connected to me energetically the night we healed Gwen. Now roll to your back and stop arguing,” she ordered, sweeping the cooling pad away.
“I am not sure I wish to do so,” Chiang replied.
Pushing on him with one hand, Boca coaxed him into doing as she asked. Then she climbed on top of his hips, feeling him growing instantly aware of her as she sat back on his bonding organs. Their clothing provided little barrier against the heat he was exuding.
And so it begins, Boca thought, resigning herself to meeting the needs of the male beneath her as she had all the others who had managed to trap her into a bonding relationship. She drew in a breath, feeling Chiang’s inquisitive gaze on her face.
“Sumerian females are all natural healers of one type or another, but especially so to their mates. A kiss given willingly and done with certain intentions carries relief of all sorts. Whatever need the male is feeling, this is what the mating kiss will provide for him. It is most typically used to delay the actual physical bonding until after the mating ceremony,” Boca explained, lowering her face to his, surprised when Chiang held up a hand to cover her lips.
“Okay. What’s the catch?” he demanded, seeing her eyebrows rise over his hand until she leaned back and moved away.
“Catch? Is that Gwen-speak?” she asked, confused at his question.
Chiang lifted his head to look at her better as he chuckled. “Yes. I suppose it is Gwen-speak. I suggest you never let the Commander hear you call her Earth English that. What I meant was, what is the personal cost to you or to me for sharing such a kiss? It sounds like an energy exchange that is not done lightly.”
Boca dropped her eyes and took a deep breath. “The cost to me is that my true feelings for you will be revealed by it. Afterwards, you will know my desire, and I would not be able to refuse further mating requests without suffering myself. It is the way of Sumerian females to seek a male to service. We are similar to Sirens in that regard and others. I can pleasure you with vibrations only.”
She looked up to see Chiang’s gaze unwavering and compassionate, even though she felt the throbbing of his organs for her under her hips. Despite her aversion to their connection, it was alluring to know he throbbed for her. Her increasing interest in his desire just validated how big a risk she was taking. She did not want to need Chiang in return. She would pleasure him and then it would be done.
“For you, in addition to relief of your immediate physical need, it will grant you a bit of power over me, similar to what you will already possess as my supervisor on the Liberator. It is like the Greggor trial time or the Earthling ritual of being engaged before the final mating. It is the Sumerian first commitment and offered by the female—as a concession to the male waiting for the full physical bond,” Boca admitted, shifting her weight on him, regretting it instantly when she saw the heat of desire increase in his eyes.
She swallowed as she felt his body hardening more under hers and was surprised when Chiang dropped his head back without taking action. His need to act was obvious to them both. If he acted now, she could flee him. If he acted after—Boca could not bear to think about being once again at the mercy of a male.
“You don’t want to be committed to me,” Chiang reminded her, surprised at how much his statement sounded like a question.
“That is not true. I am sure you will make a fine mate when you are ready. I just do not want to be committed to any male,” Boca said sincerely. “However, physically I am already in alignment with you and no others. It would be foolish to lie when you can so easily read that in my energy.”
He tilted his head to look at her again.
She shrugged, unsure of how to explain her willingness to give in to fate—to Chiang—until she saw a clear way out of it. Maybe she had fainted over the idea of giving control of herself to another male, but there was no use panicking over bonding with him. That kind of fear was just another kind of control, and one she had taught herself to bear during both her original mating relationship and her capture.
Chiang felt her knees bracketing him and considered all the females he had been in this exact same bonding position with before Boca Ador. The count was not small. Not once had he ever hesitated to take what was being offered. And not once had any female climbed off him unsatisfied after he’d made the decision. He’d often thought he was born knowing how to pleasure females. Never could Chiang recall wanting one quite as desperately as he wanted the female sitting astride him now, his confusion about not acting on his desire for Boca made him pause.
She was simply too important for their bonding to be done wrong or with less than her full participation. Her unwillingness to have him, had kept him awake during several sleep cycles pondering how he could win her over.
Now here he was, under the same frustrating female who had just sworn her intention to pleasure him, and he was hesitating.
Waiting—but for what, Chiang didn’t know. He said a quick prayer for guidance.
“My head is hurting from fainting, Chiang of Greggor. Can you decide more quickly? I need to take something to prevent further repercussions from occurring in my body,” Boca said formally.
“Do you know I desire you above all other females, Boca Ador? Do you know that fear of hurting you and committing to you is all that has stopped me from seducing you up to now? I have spent many night cycles sleeplessly pondering how to make you want me back,” Chiang declared.
“You waste your concern on my feelings. And seduction does not work on Sumerians. I told you before,” Boca said flatly. “What I offer is my word, which is a stronger bond than my desire could ever be.”
Chiang rose up until he could pull her close, her tiny form in his large hands thrilling him beyond belief. Part of him feared harming the small female in his excitement. The other part wanted her too fiercely to really care. He would have to have her one day or go mad from wanting to. This he had known since the day he kissed her.
“So you feel nothing in response to my stroking?” Chiang asked, his hands caressing her possessively. She felt strong and solid and—his.
“No, I did not say that. I feel what I feel for you. It is what it is. I am willing to show you the pleasure of our bond, and am only waiting for your permission. It cannot be taken back. My patience suffers for your indecision,” Boca said sharply.
Chiang snorted. “Fine. Bond with me then. I will accept your Sumerian mating kiss. May the Creators be merciful to both of us.”
“Please close your
eyes so I am not frightened of you again. Your eagerness alarms me,” Boca explained, regretting the flash of pain in his gaze. “This is not your fault, just something I have to get used to again.”
Her comment had his grip easing and a sigh of regret leaving his chest. “Please do not fear me, Boca. The last thing I ever want is for you to fear me or my desire for you. I would change how I feel about you if I could. We don’t have to do the mating kiss—or anything. I will still go with you. I don’t want to bind you to me against your will.”
“I know this is your truth, which is precisely why I made the offer to you,” Boca said. “Your support is worth the risk.”
Drawing a breath, she whispered the Sumerian prayer of permission to herself, and leaned forward to put her lips on Chiang’s, her hands framing his face to hold his mouth still. She felt her energy vortexes activating. It had been so long. The last male that had received her true compassion had been her Sumerian mate. Memories swirled and then fled to be replaced by the Greggor’s moan as she positioned her first chakra to direct energy into proof of his need of her.
Whispering into his mouth between short kisses, Boca joined her will to Chiang’s energy and saw what the Greggor most craved, which was not to be tied to any female at all. Unsure of what to give the mate she was bonding herself to when he wanted pleasure without commitment, Boca simply tried to let him enjoy her without feeling any responsibility to service his needs. The vibration she created shook her body as it left her, going directly into his bonding organs through her first energy vortex while she was rocking in his lap. Her extreme pleasure at relieving him when he called out in climax was unexpected. She couldn’t remember the last time she had cared.
Boca sighed a little when she felt Chiang prayerfully, gratefully, stroke inside her mouth with his possessive Greggor tongue in response. It was enjoyable for her to feel his ease.
Then his hands came up behind her shoulders, locking her to him as he pressed up into her. A panic she had not felt in a long time set in. She remembered feeling it with Rogan just before he mated her. Still in the throes of creating vibrations for Chiang, she trembled in his arms while her spirit wanted to flee.
The Siren's Call (Fantasy, Science Fiction, Romance) (FORCED TO SERVE) Page 19