I winced for him. “Ouch.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “It wasn’t enjoyable. Also, for Gwen, sex was basic and straight to the point. There was no build up, no oral sex. I did a lot of research, trying to find ways to get her to loosen up, but she brushed aside every suggestion I made. She had to be the one holding the reins at all times, in and out of bed.”
That explained his need for dominance.
“Not only that, she used sex as a bargaining chip. She thought she could manipulate me with it.” Bitch. “After a while, I gave up.” He screwed up his face, his aversion to the subject evident. “I only had sex with her when I couldn’t take celibacy any longer. It was painful to get through, but sometimes the state of my frustrations was too much to bear. That ended a few years ago. We didn’t share rooms after that.”
“What happened?” I asked.
Ben exhaled roughly, so I tugged his arm around my shoulders and snuggled into his side, letting him know I wasn’t going anywhere and he could tell me anything. He kissed my hair in thanks.
Sighing again, he ran a hand up and down my arm. “I just couldn’t do it anymore. Plus, sleeping with her gave her a misguided hope that I’d love her one day.”
Ouch.
However…
“How she could think that after everythin’ still boggles my mind.”
Ben gave me a squeeze. “Gwen is a very sick and twisted individual, sweetheart. I still don’t understand her thought process.”
Even though we were talking about some serious stuff, I was giddy that he was opening up to me more.
“So you just went without?” I searched hesitantly, my earlier concerns making another appearance.
“Are you asking if I cheated on her?” Ben questioned, sounding somewhere between hurt and entertained.
I huffed. “I can’t really blame you if you did. She lied and conned her way into your marriage, and you despised her for what she did to you. Most men would have if they were in your shoes.”
Please don’t say you’re like most men. Please don’t say you’re like most men.
The mantra continued on a loop in my mind as I waited for him to respond.
“I can’t say that I would or wouldn’t in this case – it was never an option for me,” he finally disclosed, but I was highly confused by it.
“How so?”
“Her father made us sign a prenuptial agreement that included a clause on adultery. If I had strayed and she had proof of it, I would’ve lost a big chunk of my income and all rights to Lincoln.”
Holy shit.
She’d literally had him by the balls the whole time.
Outraged for him, I fumed, “Is that even legal?!”
“I never really checked,” Ben answered, slightly startled by the revelation. It cleared, and he shrugged. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do about it now. “I didn’t know about it until the documents were signed. My dad thought it was best not to inform me until it was a done deal.” Ben made a strangled noise in his throat. “He said it would build character.”
I hated his father instantly.
“Sorry sack of shit,” I grumbled.
Ben chuckled lowly, startling me. “I’m sorry. You’re only saying what I’ve thought for so long.”
I smiled up at him. “Someone had to say it.”
Ben’s laughter slowly died. “True.”
“So, you never…?”
“Nope.” Ben peered down at me, his expression growing dismal. “I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, risk Linc like that. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but I did it for him. Nothing in the world meant more, my needs included.” Ben stared at the wall across from us and started tinkering with my hair. “While I was in college, I had girls throwing themselves at me left and right, making my situation more difficult. I learned to keep my head down and focus only on studies when I wasn’t at home with Linc and Gwen. It was that or go insane.”
The fact that he’d been sexually repressed for so long angered me. However, that meant I would enjoy every minute of working it out of his system.
I brushed that aside for now.
“Any close calls?”
“What’s with the inquisition?” he asked, his forehead scrunched. “Are you trying to find a flaw or something?”
“No. Just curious.”
It had started out as wanting to know for my peace of mind, but that had changed somewhere between then and now. After hearing what he had to say, any doubts I had disappeared, and I wanted to know only out of curiosity.
I explained, “You’re a very sexy man, Ben – I could only imagine the women that chased you. There had to be many very beautiful ones. I’m surprised one didn’t corner you and seduce you.”
“Even when I was with Gwen’s sister, I was a one-woman type of guy.” He wrinkled his nose. “I find cheating abhorrent.”
That eased my mind tremendously.
Still.
“How did you do it for so long?” I questioned, amazed by his self-control.
“I’m an overachiever,” he replied, smirking.
I narrowed my eyes. “What does that even mean?”
“I have a very one-track mind, and when set out to accomplish something, nothing stands in my way. I put my all into it. That was how it was for me. I never allowed myself to notice any of the women. Even after our divorce was final, because I was in that mindset for so long, I was stuck there.”
“I find that hard to believe,” I commented, thrown.
He hadn’t slept with anyone other than Gwen in how long?
How was it possible?
Wait!
Holy shit.
That meant I was the first woman since her.
I wasn’t sure if I felt privileged or scared that he’d get a taste of freedom and go on a screwing-spree. Nevertheless, he said he didn’t like cheating, so I was going to trust in that.
Ben interrupted my musing. “You were the first woman I noticed in a very long time, Samantha.” My tummy did a summersault. “I wasn’t over exaggerating when I said you blindsided me. You have a brilliance inside you that even a blind man could see. I was powerless against you as soon as you cleared your voice at me.”
That had to be the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.
“Ben…” I whispered, at a loss for words.
I was pleased to hear that he was equally as effected as me when we first met. I smiled at the memory of first laying eyes on him. I made a complete fool out of myself, but it had got me to this point, so I wasn’t worried about it.
Uncomfortable with the line of conversation, Ben cleared his throat and changed the subject. “Back to your question – the way I knew how to do that to you was because of my research. Maybe it was the lack of sex that did it, or perhaps it was the doctor in me, but I decided that I wanted to know everything there was to know about the female anatomy, including how to stimulate maximum pleasure, for when I finally left her.”
I shook my head, blown away by this man. “That had to be some research, Doctor.”
Ben smirked, his eyes not as dim as they were now that we were on better ground. “It was that.”
“So you’re tellin’ me you have a big bag of tricks at your disposal?” I teased, more than ready to try all of them.
“Maybe,” he admitted.
“Sounds fun.”
He tweaked my bare nipple, eliciting a quiver. Seeing my response, he rolled me onto my back and covered my body with his. I could feel his arousal against my thigh already.
Oh, lordy.
Ben stared down at me, the color of his eyes brightening with promise. “Care to find out how fun?”
“Oh, I’ve already experienced some,” I taunted, flashing him an innocent smile. “I know you’re good for it.”
“Is that so?” he questioned, licking his lips.
I followed his tongue with rapt attention, a fire building in my core. “Yes,” I breathed.
He ghosted a finger from my lips all the way down
until he stopped at the top of my sex. He tugged on my short patch of hair. “So you wouldn’t want to try more?”
“I wouldn’t want you to get a big head.”
Arrogantly, he whispered, “Too late.”
I chuckled quietly. “True.”
I had to give him that.
Taking me off guard, Ben grabbed his cock and skimmed the blunt tip down my slit. I sucked in a harsh breath. He used that as his opportunity to slip his tongue between my lips and kiss me.
I thought our kiss would be wild and playful, like our banter, but I was wrong. This kiss was slow and languid, filled with a sense of devotion. Instead of words, Ben conveyed his emotions, his every desire and affection, by pouring it into me. It was a promise for more, that this was only the beginning of something that would change me forever.
I think I fell a little bit more for him by that kiss. Not all the way but almost.
I opened for him more, raking my fingers through his hair, and wrapped my legs around his thighs to draw him closer.
Ben continued to rub himself against my clit, heightening my excitement. I didn’t care about foreplay, though – I was already drenched for him. But it wasn’t only that. I needed to feel him. I wanted him inside me, reestablishing our connection, when I came again.
“Now, honey,” I whispered into his mouth. I broke our kiss and turned my head, sinking my teeth into his shoulder. “I need you now.”
Instead of acknowledging my request, he painted my neck with open-mouth kisses and persisted to stroke my sex with his.
“Ben, please,” I begged.
Pausing, he leaned back and met my gaze with smoldering eyes. “I’m still ramped up from earlier – I won’t last long. Plus, I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks. I want to make it good for you.”
My lips curved at his thoughtfulness and honesty – that admission had to be a hit to his manhood. “It will be good for me,” I promised. “I just miss feelin’ you inside.”
Shifting my hair from my forehead, the smolder now a blaze, he murmured, “What did I do to deserve you?”
My heart tripped over itself. “I keep askin’ myself that.”
His face was brimming with intensity, drawn and severe. He rested his temple against mine. “God, sweetheart.”
“Condom, handsome,” I whispered, the desperation for him redoubling.
His long arm extended to the side as he grabbed the condoms. He pulled one off the end with his teeth and tossed the rest aside. He ripped it open, his eyes never leaving mine, and reached between our bodies once more.
“You sure?” he questioned, taking himself in hand again.
“I’ve never been so sure about anythin’ in my life.”
Ben was too inquisitive to miss my double meaning. His eyes gentled, growing warm and fervent.
Instead of saying anything else, Ben slowly pushed himself inside me. Since I’d already had so many orgasms, it was a very smooth glide. I bit my lip, fighting a whimper at his girth. When he was seated all the way inside, my sigh of contentment was long and slow.
Beautiful.
So beautiful.
Nothing compared to the first second of joining with someone you care about, that initial moment of rapture at being one. It encompassed everything that intimacy stood for.
Ben rested on his forearms and framed my face with his hands, his eyes boring into mine. He began to move with measured, long thrusts, making sweet and gentle love to me. Even as we kissed, our gazes never wavered. It was as if we were peering into each other’s soul, both of us exposing ourselves for who we were and how we felt. Ben couldn’t hide from me, nor I from him, and there was no room for fears or insecurities. It was our truths only.
This moment, everything I was experiencing with him, made all the highs and lows since meeting Ben worth it. He had to be the single most passionate, complex man I’d ever encountered. But he was mine, and I’d take him, flaws and all, because he was that beautiful to me.
Like Ben had warned, our lovemaking didn’t last long. We crested together within ten minutes, our bodies quivering and our hearts racing in tandem. However, it moved me more than the fiery passion behind our lovemaking in London, and peacefully, I fell asleep in his arms, my world brighter and crisper than it was before.
Chapter 24
Samantha
“Ahhh!” I cried, driving backward and spearing myself on Ben.
My hands were on the tiles, my legs spread as far as they could go to keep myself upright. The hot water poured over our bodies, the steam billowing in Ben’s massive shower.
“Tilt your ass up more,” Ben ordered, his words broken.
He was plunging into me from behind with wild abandon, his arms wrapped around my chest, each hand cradling my breasts.
I arched my back, doing as he asked. It allowed him to drive in deeper, bottoming out inside me. My hands slapped against the tiles, my core cinching incredibly tight, as I sobbed in pleasure.
So good.
“God, you feel amazing,” Ben whispered. “I can’t get enough.”
That’s the truth.
If we were alone, just the two of us, our clothes were gone within seconds. When I’d deduced how sexually repressed Ben was, I had no idea how right I was. After almost two months together, that was not the case any longer.
Ben pinched both nipples, ripping a gasp from my lips. “Yes!” I breathed. “Harder, honey.”
He tweaked them harder, detonating a bomb inside me.
My head slammed against his shoulder as my orgasm swept through me. Ben continued to thrust into me, driving me higher.
“Oh, God,” I mewled, shuddering.
Ben pulled out at the last second and came against me, the warm jets coating my back before the water washed them away.
Panting, I closed my eyes, wishing we could climb back into bed and catch a few more hours of sleep. That orgasm turned me inside-out, and so had the one that he gave me with his mouth not twenty minutes ago.
Ben nuzzled my neck, nipping and licking at my flesh. “Mmm, you taste good in the morning.”
“You taste good all the time,” I countered and turned in his arms, smiling blissfully.
Ben continued to explore my body, not able to keep his hands off me.
I loved it.
I loved how, when I was near, Ben was touching me, wanting me. I’d never felt so cherished and adored in all my life.
The last two months had been astounding. Ben and I were closer, more in sync. After our first weekend together, we couldn’t stand to be apart. If I wasn’t at his house with Linc and him, he was at my home with me. Sometimes Linc would join him.
Ben and Linc had carved their own niche in my family, too. Ben was practically a shoo-in after they witnessed how well he treated me and how happy I was. Mom and Dad doted on Linc just as much as they did Bella. They’d grown to love him as if he was their grandchild. Linc had blossomed under them, growing into a more assertive young man.
I was positive their closeness was inevitable even if Ben and I weren’t seeing one another. Because of Mom’s history with his family, Mom and Dad would have sought out Ben and Linc. They had a way of embracing people like that.
In the beginning, Linc had captured a part of my heart. Well, that kid now owned it. I adored Linc. We’d become so comfortable around each other, sometimes we’d just lounge on the couch and play video games together – I was getting pretty good at Call of Duty – or watch television, just the two of us. When Linc would come to work at the B&B, he’d hang out with me in my office while I took care of business. Grey and Ben grumbled about it since that was supposed to be Linc’s punishment, but I rolled my eyes and let it continue to happen. Linc was hilarious and made the days go by faster, which meant I would be in Ben’s arms again all the sooner.
Ben and Grey were on better terms, too. When my brother promised me something, he went out of his way to make sure it happened – he was awesome like that. Grey, Clara, Ben, and I would go to
Bobby’s, my favorite bar, or we’d have dinner together at each other’s places. We found ourselves over at Adam’s and Chelsea’s at times, as well.
We had integrated our lives together seamlessly.
And the sex!
How could I forget about the sex?
Oh, Lord in heaven!
If I didn’t know it before, I soon realized that Ben took pleasuring me very seriously. When he was able to take his time, I’d orgasm three or four times to his one and we’d go at it all night long. The man’s stamina was one to go down in records. I’d be exhausted and sore afterward, but it was well worth it.
I was one lucky girl.
In a nutshell, our relationship was far from lacking. Ben was more open with me now than he was before, for sure. I knew the small things, like how he took his coffee. I knew that he ate sugar on his macaroni and cheese – a habit that I thought was disgusting – loved grilling on his patio, and if he didn’t eat, he turned into a big bear.
I knew how much lighter his eyes were when he first woke in the morning and how they became darker right before he came. I knew what every one of his smiles meant, from teasing to I’m-gonna-eat-you. I knew that his forehead creased when he was concentrating really hard and that he’d run his fingers through his hair repeatedly if he were flustered or agitated. I knew that he was an amazing doctor, a kind and generous man, and the best father a son could ask for.
Ben was an attentive boyfriend that took the time to listen to me when I spoke. He cared about my needs and the needs of everyone he loved above his own. He was the kind of man that helped an elderly lady cross the road and spent an enormous amount of time and energy into making sure his grandfather’s last years on this earth were filled with love and laughter.
Ben was pure and good and so damn thoughtful he amazed me all the time.
And I loved him to the core.
With my every breath.
With every heartbeat.
But his secrets were closely guarded, and I continued to stay on the outside looking in, having no clue how to reach him when it came to them.
After our talk about Gwen and sex, there was not another word pertaining to his mom, dad, or ex-wife mentioned. Most of the time, it was as if they didn’t exist. Hell, Linc didn’t even talk about them. There were no phone conversations even, at least while I was around – and I was around all the time. You’d think his mother would call every now and again.
Fated Bliss (The Bliss Series Book 2) Page 28