I was in hell.
You were afraid she’d run – good job on making it happen.
I cursed under my breath.
That was nothing but the truth. I was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It was no one’s fault but my own that Samantha disappeared like that.
Lincoln’s state of mind was another’s. That was on Gwen. All I could do was love him through it, which was exactly what I did. I called Pops to fill in at the clinic and spent the afternoon with Lincoln. He might have remained quiet the whole time, stuck inside his own mind, but I let him see that I wasn’t going anywhere if he needed me.
“Go, talk to your girl,” Pops said from behind me.
He’d arrived an hour ago with dinner for Linc and me, wanting to check in. It’d been the first time in a long time that our meal was silent, which was another reminder of Samantha’s absence.
I stared at the kitchen counter, unable to meet Pops’ eyes. “I will.”
“You’re only drawin’ it out by not movin’ your ass.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe.” My smile dwindled. “I don’t want to leave until Linc falls asleep. He needs me.”
Witnessing the destruction of Gwen’s surprise visit almost leveled me. It made me loathe her even more. I couldn’t believe she showed up like that. After everything…
Pops words were low. “And so does Sam, Ben.”
My gut sank.
“And you need her,” he added.
“I know,” I muttered.
“Go tell the girl you love her and put this bullshit behind you.”
“Pops,” I sighed, “it isn’t that easy.”
“Yes, it is.” He sat on the stool next to me and patted my back. “Benjamin, you’re a smart man, but you’ve been stupid when it comes to Sam. That girl has been right here, willin’ to shoulder your troubles. Hell, in a way, she already has.
“Look at her with Linc, son. She might not be his mother, but she’s become it in every way. She spends time with him, looks after him…protects him. She’s everythin’ to him that Gwen isn’t. All you need to do is embrace it and stop hidin’ behind excuses.
“You’re not scared to tell her anythin’, Ben – you’re scared to let her in the rest of the way. You’re scared you’re gonna get hurt again.” Pops paused. “Well, I hate to tell you, son, but life isn’t all kittens and rainbows. It’s up to you to grit your teeth, buck up, and fight for what you want.”
I swallowed hard and ran a hand through my hair. “Tell me something I don’t know, Pops.”
“Then what the hell are you still doin’ here?”
“He’s right, Dad.”
Jolting, I looked over my shoulder. Linc was standing at the counter and had been listening for who knew how long.
Shit.
My voice came out ragged. “Linc?”
“I’m cool, Dad,” he assured me, moving closer. There was genuine worry for Samantha in his expression. “Really, I’m good. Go check on Sam. She’s not used to Mom like we are.”
He shouldn’t have to be used to his mother at all.
I wasn’t entirely convinced and asked, “You’re sure?”
“Mom would’ve never stepped in front of me to protect me.”
Damn you, Gwen.
I stood and ambled to him. Clutching his shoulder, I peered into his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s on Mom.” Fear haunted him. “Sam’s awesome. Don’t let Mom screw that up for us. We can’t lose her. We can’t.”
My jaw ticked.
He was right – if I didn’t fix this, I’d be letting her walk out of both of our lives. It wasn’t just me in this.
Good job, asshole.
“I can do that,” I rasped.
His head bobbed with jerky movements. “Good.”
The doorbell rang.
“How much do you wanna bet that’s Sam?” Linc questioned, smiling a small smile.
“That would be a miracle, but I wouldn’t be complaining,” I retorted. A kernel of hope lingered inside me, though.
Samantha wasn’t one to back down from a fight easily. She’d proven that more than once.
“I’ll be right back,” I told them and walked out of the kitchen, saying a silent prayer. I opened the door, holding my breath, but then I saw who was standing there.
So much for prayers.
Had all of my demons decided to smack me in the face today?
Was the universe not done with me yet?
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I barked. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Ben,” my father murmured, his eyes traveling my face. “You look good, son.”
The Rhodes’ genes were strong, so I did, in fact, look a lot like my father. In the year since I’d last faced him, though, he’d aged ten years. He was far from the strong and intimidating man he’d once been. His three piece suit sagged off of him, his eyes were shadowed and more wrinkled, and instead of only having a little grey at his temples, he’d gone fully grey.
“What are you doing here?” I asked again, trying to come to grips with the vast difference in my father. I stepped out onto the porch and shut the door behind me. There was no telling what Pops would say if he saw him here. He was the only person alive that had more dislike for Dad than I did.
Something flashed in Dad’s eyes. “You don’t answer when I call. I needed to speak with you.”
Was that pain I detected?
I crossed my arms over my chest, not buying it. “What do you want?”
“Well…” He shifted nervously. “I came to warn you. Gwen’s coming to Bliss.”
“Too late,” I grumbled. “She’s already surprised us.”
“Damn… Ben-”
“Why didn’t you send Uri to tell me? Seems he’s been making frequent trips to town – what’s one more?”
“I deserve that,” he admitted, shocking me.
“I’m sorry?”
How many times had I wished he’d own up to his actions? But he never did. No, Dad would never admit to anyone that he was wrong.
I had to be dreaming.
“It’s my fault. All of it. Everything with Gwen even.” He jutted out his chin. “Uri was never supposed to approach you. You won’t see him again.”
Had hell officially frozen over?
Too much.
I couldn’t do this today.
“I have to go. I have things I need to take care of because of Gwen’s surprise visit.”
“Ben, please. I need to talk to you.”
“Dad-”
“Please, Ben.”
I’d never heard him beg, either.
I prayed I wasn’t making a big mistake by agreeing to this. “I’ll call you tomorrow, and we’ll schedule a time to meet.”
Dad’s expression filled with hope, but he blanked his face quickly. “That’s fine,” he whispered gruffly. “Thank you, Ben.”
Wow.
A lot of firsts today.
“Stay away until then. I’m serious, Dad,” I warned. “I’ve got too much going on to deal with you.”
“You won’t see me,” he vowed.
He turned around without another word and walked down the sidewalk. I could only stare at his back in astonishment. As he opened the door to his rental car, my thoughts turned back to Samantha.
I’d deal with Dad later.
I had to fix things with her first.
∞
I pulled up behind Samantha’s truck, thankful she was home. I hopped out of my Bronco and jogged to her front door. I knocked a few times and waited.
No response.
I knocked again, this time harder.
Still no response.
Screw it.
I checked the door and found it unlocked. When I walked into her small bungalow, her scent surrounded me, bringing with it a sense of belonging.
Samantha’s house was warm and inviting, adorned in soft and feminine colors. She had a simple light-grey couch in t
he living room and pictures of her whole family were lined sporadically along the walls. Her kitchen was tiny, with only a small table and minimal counter space. It fit her lifestyle and her perfectly.
Samantha and I had shared a lot of good times here. However, once we were past this, she’d be moving in with me. I was done living in separate homes.
I was thirty-three years old now, having shared one birthday with Samantha, and I had lived through enough bullshit to know that I’d found the one I wanted to spend my life with in Samantha. Trivial things such as knowing each other for a limited amount of time meant little in the face of that. After today, I was done being scared and letting anything stand in my way.
Samantha was mine.
Samantha wasn’t in either of the rooms. I walked down her hallway, listening for her, but all was quiet. When I entered her bedroom, it was dark and empty.
Water splashed in the bathroom, gaining my attention. I rushed across the hall and quietly pushed on the cracked door.
I found Samantha reclining in the bathtub, a rag over her eyes and earbuds in her ears. Her hair was in a bun high on her head, with small tendrils escaping. Suds hid her nakedness, but her nipples peeked out, tempting me.
Gorgeous.
I leaned against the doorframe, observing her. She was breathtaking even when she was doing something so simple. But how was I supposed to alert her of my presence without scaring her half to death?
Instead, she startled me. “I know you’re there.”
I fought a grin.
She pulled her earbuds out of her ears and threw them over the side of the tub, but she didn’t uncover her face. “I’m not in the mood today, Ben. Go home.”
Not happening.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I’m not leaving until we talk about what happened.”
Her jaw clenched.
Instead of beginning with Gwen and her sudden appearance, I decided to lay it all on the table.
“Did you know that my father never directly spoke to me until I was teenager? In fact, up until I was in high school, I was positive he wasn’t aware of my existence.”
Samantha stilled, not even breathing.
She wanted this…badly.
I shook my head, calling myself a fool for doing this to her.
“Most of my life all I wanted was for him to look at me like other fathers did their sons. My grades were excellent. I didn’t act out. When he was home, I barely whispered. I did everything I could to get him to notice me.
“Then freshman year of high school came along, and good ol’ Dad figured out I was there. He wanted to groom me into a business man like him. By that time I was dead-set on being a doctor. If he’d started out on me earlier, actually paid attention, I might’ve turned out like him. Thankfully, I had Pops to guide me. It’s my only saving grace, but that didn’t mean Dad didn’t push me. He wanted me to be a surgeon. You could imagine how disappointed he was when I settled to be a measly ER doctor.”
Samantha pulled the cloth from her face and revealed swollen, red rimmed eyes. “That still doesn’t explain all the secrecy, Ben.”
I swallowed thickly, witnessing what today had done to her. I’d never seen Samantha cry, and she’d done a lot of it this afternoon.
Because of me.
I felt gutted.
“It doesn’t,” I agreed, my voice gravelly. “But the rest of the story is hard to come to terms with. It’s why I never told you.”
Samantha covered her face again. “It’s too late, Ben. I can’t do this any longer. I need more than what you’re willin’ to give.”
I swayed at the conviction in her tone.
No.
This can’t be happening.
I steeled myself.
I wasn’t giving up without a fight.
“As I said, my father was adept at not noticing things at home. If he didn’t notice me, he definitely didn’t notice the young girls next door or that one of them was my girlfriend.”
Samantha attempted to interrupt me. “Ben, stop. After today-”
“Dad likes his mistresses younger than my mom. Blondes, brunettes…red heads, none of it mattered to him – they just need to be young. Mom was too busy drowning her sorrows in alcohol to ever notice. Or maybe she did. Maybe that’s why she’s a raging alcoholic. Who knows?
“A few weeks before Gwen did what she did to me, she snuck into one of my parent’s parties. One look at her and my Dad was smitten. He slept with her, Samantha, having no clue she was only sixteen years old.”
Samantha inhaled sharply.
“There’s no telling what Gwen was really after – a good time maybe, to brag to her friends that she slept with an older man…or to finally tear me away from her sister. I’ve never gotten it out of either of them. However, after Gwen did what she did to me and became pregnant, she told my father that Linc was his and that she’d go to the police if he didn’t force me to marry her.”
Samantha tore the rag from her eyes and stared at me with deep pools of astonishment. “No,” she whispered. “That’s…”
“I never knew. Dad didn’t even check the paternity test. He just paid someone to make sure the results said Linc was mine.”
“Linc isn’t…?” Samantha couldn’t even voice the question, but the thought of it agonized her.
I smiled softly. “Dad believed Linc was his son. However, like me, Gwen conned him. Linc is most definitely my son.” My smiled faded. “But after I found out the truth, I had to wait for another set of results to come back to me. I spent that time anguished over of it.”
Samantha shook her head back and forth and sat up, the suds streaming down her bare skin. “But…why? Why would he do that to you?”
I lifted one shoulder. That was a question I doubted I’d ever get the answer to. “Hell if I know.”
“He’s your father,” Samantha hissed, her words infuriated.
I stepped towards the tub and took a seat on the floor next to her, wrapping my arms around my knees. “He’s a sperm donor, sweetheart. Pops has been my real father, not just my grandfather. I don’t know what I would’ve become without him.”
Samantha tipped her head to the side and relaxed against the tub again. “How did you find out?”
“Gwen,” I replied, relieved – she wasn’t forcing me to go. “One thing at a time, though. I’ll get to that in a minute.”
Samantha’s forehead crinkled in confusion.
“After I married Gwen, I was homeschooled the remaining years of high school. However, my father wanted me to work for him. He thought I needed a sense of responsibility instilled in me.” I chuckled indignantly. “I was a teenage father after all – I had some learning to do.”
The irony of it was still a bitter pill.
“Up until the summer before med school, I worked at my father’s company, and I got to see everything that went on behind closed doors. He isn’t a good man, Samantha. He’s dangerous.” I rubbed my scruffy jaw, still feeling the wound of that discovery. “I saw many shady business dealings. He wasn’t above using threats and intimidation to get what he wanted. He bought companies, chopped them up, and sold them to the highest bidder, not caring about employees or their lives.
“One person in particular wasn’t cowered by Dad. I met the man once. His name was Michael McNaughton.” My gut clenched at the memory of the man as he stormed out of Dad’s office. “His company was failing, and Dad wanted to buy him out. Michael thought he could turn it around and refused Dad. Two days later, he was killed in a home invasion. Dad bought his company not long afterward and made millions off the deal.”
I met Samantha’s wide eyes. “Dad never said it was him, but I knew. I knew. I quit after that. I never went back to work for him.”
“I don’t blame you,” Samantha whispered, licking her lips. “That’s…that’s deplorable.”
I nodded my agreement. “So you can see, my relationship with my father has never been a good one or something I was proud of. And I should have tur
ned him in to the police for that. But I couldn’t do it to Mom. She wouldn’t have survived it.”
The man’s death sat heavily upon my conscious since that day. Even though I didn’t have a hand in it, I felt like I should have done something.
Samantha rested a hand on my forearm. “What proof would you have had?”
“None,” I admitted.
“What happened after that?”
“Well, this was about the time Gwen wanted to work on our relationship. After witnessing that, I had a different outlook on the world. What she did was miniscule compared to Dad’s business ethics.” I ran my hand through my hair, suddenly really uncomfortable. “But things weren’t easy.”
Reading me, Samantha murmured, “Hand me a towel, honey.”
I was thankful for the reprieve.
I stood and grabbed the towel by the sink. Once I unfolded it for her, she stepped out of the water and let me wrap it around her body. As I did, I noticed some bruising on her shoulders. I touched one of them carefully. “What happened?”
“Linc was upset. He didn’t know he was hurtin’ me.”
“Shit…Samantha.” Squeezing my eyes closed, I circled my arms around her and rested my temple on top of her hair to breathe her in. “I’m sorry. He shouldn’t have done that.”
“It was an extreme situation, Ben. He didn’t mean to.”
“I’m sorry for not telling you this before,” I whispered. “I’m sorry that you had to deal with Gwen today. I’m just…sorry.”
A shudder raked her small frame, and her breath hitched, but she didn’t say anything.
After a few moments, she shrugged out of my hold and linked our fingers. “Come on. Let’s get into bed.”
I allowed her to lead me to the bedroom and pull back the covers. She dropped her towel and slipped between the sheets, patting the mattress beside her. Samantha watched me as I undressed, her eyes drinking me in. There was still a lot of sorrow in her gaze, though, and that troubled me.
Once I was in bed next to her, she rested her head on my shoulder and trailed a finger over my bare chest. “Tell me,” she murmured into the murky room.
For some reason, I found it comforting to not have to look at her as I explained the rest.
“Gwen and I lived a quasi-normal day to day life,” I began, playing with her hair. I pulled the elastic band out and combed my fingers through it, enjoying the silky strands. “I didn’t want to rock the boat or upset the balance, so I ignored a lot.”
Fated Bliss (The Bliss Series Book 2) Page 34