“In my dreams I was pregnant. It was David's baby.” She saw her mom lean forward as she stumbled over how to ask, “Did I, could I have been pregnant?” Her insides spun with dread, and excitement.
“Yes, dear. But, by the time we found out what had been happening, you were seven months pregnant. The girl in the other bed was pregnant as well.”
“Shut the faculty door!” Sophie sat higher in her bed. She knew she should be revolted by the thought, but after all the love she had for her baby in her dreams, all she focused on was love. “What happened,” she asked, afraid of the answer.
“Once we had the results, Dr. Hansen asked us what we wanted to do. He felt terrible, by the way. He had such guilt, but we assured him there was nothing he could’ve done. We wanted to know what our options were." She stopped a moment, as though contemplating what to tell her. "He explained it was possible to terminate the pregnancy, but because of how far along you were and the coma you were in, it would be dangerous. He also explained you could carry the baby to term. Stating in his professional opinion, it was the safest route to take. He said we could put the baby up for adoption once it was born, if we decided to make that choice.” Her mother stopped once again, blatant pain coursing through her.
“Mom, its okay, whatever your decision,” she assured her.
“Oh, Sophie, it was one of the toughest decisions your father and I have ever had to make. You’ve no idea the discussions and prayers we offered, wanting to do what was best for you. Dr. Hansen didn’t give us much time because he said if we decided to terminate the pregnancy, it would be best to do it sooner rather than later.”
“Sure,” she mumbled, trying not to get her hopes up.
“We finally decided to do what would be safest for you, and had you keep the pregnancy. Soph we’ve . . .”
“You gave her up for adoption,” she finished, her hope deflating.
“No, Sophie, actually what I wanted to say is even though it was probably selfish on our part . . .”
“What, Mom? Tell me?” She cried, unable to contain herself.
“Hon, she’s part of our family. She came from you. We had to keep her.”
Sophie stopped crying, not sure she heard her mother correctly, “You kept her?”
“Yes, Sophie, you have a daughter. I hope you’re not too upset.”
“Mom, no, I’m not upset. Quite the opposite, I’m glad you both decided to keep her.”
“Are you sure?”
“Mom, I know I was raped, and it's awful. But the baby, she isn’t. She had nothing to do with his perverse decisions.”
“Oh, I’m glad you’re not upset because, Sophie, she’s the most amazing child. Your dad and I couldn’t imagine life without her. She’s been such a blessing in our lives.”
“Where is she?” Sophie asked, an overwhelming burst of happiness growing inside her. “Where’s my baby?” All she thought about was that her baby wasn’t dead. She's alive.
“Sophie, she’s not a baby anymore. She’s five years old.”
“She’s five?” Sophie repeated, shocked. “Right before I woke up I was pregnant with a girl. I guess I expected her to be a newborn.”
“I’m sorry you had to miss her being born. She’s been such a joy.”
Something dawned on her. She’d dreamt one time she had her baby, and wondered if she that was when she’d really delivered the baby. She also remembered a dream she’d had about a little girl. “What did you name her?”
“We named her Rose. We thought it was appropriate, since your middle name is Rose.”
In her dreams, Sophie had grown to hate red roses because of David, but realized in real life, his sending red roses hadn’t happened.
“Rose is the perfect name, mom. It's the one I chose for her in my dreams, as well. Does she know about me?” She questioned tentatively, wondering what her daughter would think of her.
“Not only does she know about you, but she knows you. She knows you’re her mommy,” her mom said, brushing fresh tears from her eyes. “We’ve been bringing her to see you since she was a baby.”
“What does she think about me?”
“We’ve told her you’ve been sleeping like Sleeping Beauty and it would take something special for you to wake up, and when you were ready, you would.”
“Really?” Sophie asked, sobbing. “She’s seen me. She knows I’m her mommy?”
“Yes, and she knows you love her very much.”
“Mom, she is the something special. I woke up because of her, because I thought I was losing her,” she said, crying happily. “And mom,” she continued, “I do love her, with all my heart.”
“What a relief. We, your father and I, and Dr. Hansen were worried about how you’d take learning everything. Knowing she’s here because you were, you know.”
“It doesn’t matter. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Being raped does matter, and I’m glad he’s paying for what he did, but I wouldn’t have come out of my coma without her. When can I see her?” She hoped her mother understood. She wasn’t making light of what David did. Only because of it, Rose had been born, and she was what had finally allowed her to wake up. As Rose got older, she’d make sure her daughter understood as well.
Dr. Hansen walked in, interrupting her thoughts. “How is our miracle patient?”
His presence reminded her of her checklist.
Mirror.
Brush.
Underwear.
Unable to help it, her face began to burn red with embarrassment. Trying to act like nothing was wrong, she answered, “Excellent, Dr. Hansen. My mother has told me I have a daughter.”
“Oh, you’re already there, are you?” He asked, looking at her curiously.
She saw her mom looking at her curiously, too.
Promising herself to discuss her checklist with her mom, she answered, “Yes, and I’m happy.” She wanted him to know she was happy with her parents’ decision. Still trying to contain her mortifying thoughts of him seeing her naked, she continued, “I can already tell what I dreamt while in my coma was a kind of reflection of what happened around me.”
“Incredible. Now I need you to lean forward and take a deep breath.”
Startled, she leaned forward, realizing her back was bare, as he touched her with his cold stethoscope. The heat of her embarrassment went down her back to where he touched her.
“Now blow it out.”
She obeyed, her heart beating rapidly.
“Good. Another one.”
Again she complied.
“Excellent.” He took a seat next to her mother, saying with a sly grin, “Do I play a part in your dreams?”
Sophie’s blush grew even deeper. “Oh my gosh, please go,” she said, pulling the covers over her face.
“Are you all right, Sophie?” She heard Dr. Hansen ask, a note of worry in his voice.
“I’m fine, but I need a minute alone with my mom,” she answered quietly.
“Hmmmm. Okay, if you’re sure.” He seemed like he wanted to say more, but instead said, “I think you’ve done enough for today. It’s getting late, and you need your rest.”
When he was gone, her mom pulled the covers off her and asked, “Would you please tell me what’s going on?”
Nervously, she told her mom about the Dr. Hansen in her dreams, about the feelings she had for him now. Explaining it wasn’t necessarily love, but because of what the two of them had in her dreams, she was embarrassed about what he must think of her.
“I completely understand.”
“Tomorrow, when you come, you’ll bring me some underwear, and some real pajamas?”
“Of course, Soph.” Her mom laughed. “You’re absolutely right.”
“Are you going to bring Rose tomorrow too?”
“Yes, I will. Promise.”
#
With the help of her mom, and Hope, Sophie was able to get to a mirror. She cried when she looked at herself. The plastic surgeons had done a great job of patching up her
face.
There was only the one scar above her left eye. She looked older, though. She looked different. Her mom and Hope cried too, as they hugged her, and told her how beautiful she was.
It was one of those girlie moments that might’ve been uncomfortable to guys, but to her, it was wonderful. Her mom brushed her long, blond hair and Hope helped her put on a little makeup. They all worked together to get the blue cotton pajamas on her. Once they’d finished, they helped her back into bed.
Kissing her on the cheek, her mom said, “I’ll get Rose, and be back. Okay?”
Hope left too. Once again, all alone, nervousness at meeting her daughter for the first time settled in. What if she doesn’t like me? She had no time to ponder the question because the door opened, and a beautiful little girl walked in.
Chapter 26
Rose came shyly into the room while her grandma waited at the door. Sophie later found out she’d told her grandma she wanted to go in alone. She looked like an angel, in a light blue dress with a white collar and white trim around the bottom. She had long blond, curly hair and bright blue eyes, which matched her dress. She walked over to the bed slowly, looking back at her grandma once or twice.
Sophie tried to reassure her. “It’s all right, Rose. I’m okay. You can come to me.”
Rose seemed unsure, although she continued to walk slowly to her mother’s bed. Finally, when she stood right in front of her mother, she stopped and stared with unabashed innocence.
“Hello, Rose,” she said quietly. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Rose smiled timidly. “It’s nice to meet you, too, mommy.”
Sophie looked over at her mom still standing in the doorway and gave her a nod, hoping she understood she wanted some time alone with her daughter. Her mom seemed to understand because she stepped out, closing the door.
Sophie looked back at her daughter. ”Do you want to know a secret?”
“Yes,” Rose answered calmly.
“Even though I was asleep, I was still thinking about you. Did you know that?”
Rose nodded, climbing into the chair next to the bed.
“How did you know? Did grandma tell you?”
“Yes, but mostly I knew because of the dreams I had about you.”
“You had dreams about me?” She asked, trying to hold back her tears, not wanting to frighten her child. This was too new, and she didn’t want to ruin it.
“What were they about?”
Rose looked down at her hands. “Mostly they were about you and me and grandma.”
“What were we doing?” Sophie asked, encouraging her daughter.
“I was swinging on a swing, and you and grandma were watching me. You blew me a kiss and made this sign.” She held up her hand, making the sign.
Sophie recognized it was the sign for I love you in sign language. Sophie made the sign with her hand, too, reaching out to touch her daughters’ hand.
“Rose,” she began, blinking back tears, “I had the same dream.”
“You did?” Rose asked, as a wide smile spread over her face.
“I sure did.”
Suddenly Rose stood on the chair, climbing into the bed with her mom. Sophie helped her, not wanting her to fall. Then Rose said, “Mommy, I love you. Thanks for waking up.” She put her arms around Sophie’s neck, hugging her tightly.
“Oh, my Rose, I love you, too.”
#
Nurse Hope sat down in the large leather chair, her plump body filling most of its volume. She had kind, brown eyes and short, straight brown hair. Her face was soft, and round. Leaning over, she pressed a button on the recorder and said,
“Where do you want to start today?”
“Actually, before we begin, can you tell me something about Rose being born? Were there any problems with my pregnancy?”
“No. You had her by C-section at thirty-eight weeks. I’ll tell you, sweetie, she seemed ready.”
“Did she cry when she came out?”
“Oh, you have no idea. Her screaming was deafening,” Hope answered, laughing. “She was definitely ready to come into this world, and had no qualms about letting everyone know it.”
“Crying is a good thing, right?”
“Absolutely. After we checked her, I wrapped her in a blanket and laid her on your chest. We wanted her to know your touch, recognize your smell.” Hope paused, pulling a picture out of her light purple jacket pocket. “We took this picture of the two of you together. You can have it.” She handed the picture to Sophie.
“She’s beautiful. Thank you for taking this picture. It means a lot.”
“You’re welcome, Sophie, dear.”
She looked up because she heard Hope clearing her throat. Tears were streaming down her face. “Hope, what’s wrong?”
Shaking her head, Hope said, “Nothing’s wrong. It’s only, over the years, you’ve become like a second daughter to me. It’s wonderful to see you awake. Truthfully, I'm sad as well, because it means you’ll be leaving here soon, and I won’t get to see you every day.” She wiped her eyes, smiling. “Never mind, though, I’m sure we’ll work something out.”
Nodding, she said, “Thank you, Hope, for everything.”
“No thanks needed, dear. It was a pleasure.”
“You know, you do talk a lot like my best friend Rina, from my dream life,” Sophie began tentatively.
“I’m glad you brought her up. I’ve wanted to talk with you more about your friend Rina.”
“My mom said she never came into my room, but I seem to know a lot about her, although you sound just like her.”
“Well, dear, with everything we’ve discovered about your dreams already, it doesn’t surprise me.” Hope paused a moment to readjust herself before continuing. “When I worked the evening shift, I would sit here, next to you, and talk to you for hours about my daughter. She’s my only family, you see, which means my life seems to revolve around her and work. Dr. Hansen encouraged us to talk to our patients. It was weird at first, but I got used to it. I’m guessing my chatting up a storm is where you got her name.”
“Makes sense.” Sophie nodded.
“Will you tell me about the Rina in your dreams?”
Sophie proceeded to tell her all about Rina. How they’d met in college, and the part Rina played in her dreams, while in a coma. When she told Hope how Rina had become a Vice Principal at a private school,
Hope interrupted her. “You know, Rina really is a Vice Principal, but at a public school here in the valley.”
“Wow, it’s amazing I seemed to pick up on quite a lot of what was going on around me.”
“You really did, Sophie.” Hope agreed in amazement.
She told her how she met David and the subsequent pain involved. Explained Rina’s part in helping her. She also told her about Phillip. When she first mentioned his name, Hope gasped and chuckled.
Sophie laughed in return, saying, “I know. Dr. Hansen’s first name is Phillip. He was obviously talking to me as well.”
She described how she met him, and how their lives came together, even discussing his ex-wife Cynthia.
“I can’t believe her name was Cynthia,” Hope interjected.
“Why?”
“Because the young woman in the bed next to yours was named Cynthia.”
“Nothing is surprising me at this point. What’s her story? My mother told me she’d been pregnant like I was, but nothing more. In my dreams, she was pregnant with David’s baby as well, but ended up losing it. Am I close?”
“Exactly. Although not quite in the way you’ve described. She wasn’t as far along in her pregnancy as you were, and she had no family. Dr. Hansen decided it would be better for her to terminate it.” Hope wiped her eyes, clearing her throat. “Before he could, however, she suffered a blood clot to her heart and died.”
“Oh, how sad. The poor girl.”
“It was a sad time in our little coma unit. We all felt like we’d lost a child.”
Sophie
thought of something awful and had to ask, “But, if she had no family, what happened to her body? Did she have a funeral?”
“Dr. Hansen took care of everything. He arranged the funeral, bought the flowers, the casket and everything else. Only the staff from this unit attended her funeral. It was simple and sad, but would’ve been much worse if Dr. Hansen hadn’t taken care of her.”
“He seems like such a caring doctor. I’m glad he took care of her.” Sophie thought of the Phillip from her dream life. He seemed to be similar to the one in real life, although they did look a little different.
Not much, though, she marveled, wondering if this was real or if David really had killed her.
“Sophie, are you okay? Where did you go?”
“Oh. Oops, I drifted. I was thinking Dr. Hansen seems a lot like the one in my dreams and I’m wondering if this is real or if I'm dreaming now.” She spoke lightly, but it was seriously weighing on her mind.
“I can understand. Let me reassure you, this isn’t a dream. You’re awake after a long time being in a coma.”
Sophie nodded.
#
“Hi, mommy,” Rose called, bouncing into the room. “Look who I found.”
“Hi, Rose,” Sophie returned, sitting up straighter in bed. She’d put on a white pair of pajamas this morning and Hope had helped her do her hair. She’d put it in hot rollers, making her blond hair, soft and wavy. Sophie applied the mascara herself, as well as some clear lip-gloss. Nervously running a hand over her hair, she nodded for Rose to come closer.
“This is my friend, Dr. Hansen. He’s nice. He gives me piggy rides.” Rose looked at Dr. Hansen like he was her hero.
Sophie had to smile. “He gives you piggy ride? Sounds fun.” She laughed.
“It is. He’s a great doctor, too, mommy. You’re lucky.”
“I know,” she responded shyly, looking from her daughter to her doctor.
He smiled. Squatting next to Rose, he said, “I’m going to let you read the book you’re holding to your mommy.”
“Okay, Dr. Phillip, I mean Dr. Hansen.” Rose giggled.
Turning to Sophie, he uttered with a wink, “I’ll be back in a while. It’s my turn to sit with you while you talk about your dreams.”
Sleeping Roses Page 23