He took my hand between his palms and closed his eyes, muttering a low spell. I felt nothing.
A shadow crossed his face. He let go, gently placing my hand in my lap.
“What did you see?” I asked.
“We have to see Moranda,” he said, with what sounded like great difficulty. “Before the sun goes down.”
“She won’t help,” I said.
“Probably not. But I have to try.”
This time he held my hand as we walked, instead of hurrying a few steps ahead. I asked him again and again what he’d felt when he’d examined my injured hand, but he refused to tell me anything.
“I need the facts,” he said. “I don’t want to worry you.”
“I hope you see the irony in that statement.”
I stood with Faol as he summoned Moranda. She appeared in the mirror, wearing a long cloak of autumn red. Her silver hair was bound in a bun on the top of her head.
“Faol.”
“Show her,” he said to me.
I lifted up my blackened hand.
“Come closer,” said Moranda.
I pressed my palm against the mirror.
“Mage fire?” Moranda asked.
“Yes.”
She let out an exhausted sigh. “It’s poisoning you. You have no magic to defend against the Mage.”
“Poisoning me?”
“Yes,” she said brusquely. “It’ll kill you in the end.”
I stepped back from the mirror, clutching my black hand. Faol pushed past, taking my place.
“Kill her? How do I extract the poison?”
“How do you think, Faol? By defeating the Night Mage.”
“But I can’t! You have to help her!”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“So you’re happy for her to die?”
“Not happy,” said Moranda. “But she made her choice.”
“You never offered death as an option,” I reminded her.
“Death is never an option, foolish girl. We all must face it in the end.”
“I know that. Except I’m only thirty. I’d hoped my end would be a little while away.”
“Death can’t be predicted.”
“You can’t do this!” Faol raged. “You have to come and heal her. You healed me!”
“Faol, I have given you so much time, so many opportunities… Only you can stop the Mage and save her life.”
“Tell me how! You must tell me!”
“Even if I told you,” she said, “it wouldn’t make any difference! You must reach the solution by yourself. And you must believe in it fully!” She tightened her cloak around her. “I shouldn’t even be telling you this much. No other student is given such information.”
“Oh but I need it because I’m so useless! If I’m so terrible then free me of my training. I don’t want to be a mage anymore!”
“Don’t be stupid,” said Moranda. “It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
“I don’t want it anymore. I’m not good enough to be a mage – I know that now. So release me, and I’ll go off and become a blacksmith or a carpenter or a nursery maid for rich families. Surely I’ll be able to perform such tasks.”
I could only stand and watch him throw his future away. I should have spoken up, told him to persevere… But I didn’t want to die. I’d promised him he’d never be alone.
“Faol, you cannot undo your training,” said Moranda. “There is power in you that can’t be quashed, and as such you will only be free of the castle once the Mage is dead. If you summon me again, I will not respond. I’m a fool for already doing so. Aideen made her choice, and so did your mother, and your friends. Now it is time for you to do the same, Faol. You must choose the man you will become.”
She was gone.
He threw his hands in the air, and then dragged them down his head. As his knees began to buckle, I caught him by the elbows and kept him on his feet.
“We haven’t much time,” I said, squeezing his arm. “I’m not leaving you. So you better think of something quick.”
Perhaps I should have been softer with him, but we were out of options. My life was in his hands. I couldn’t have him wasting time and energy on melodrama.
We made it back to his room before the sun set. But like the previous night, we didn’t sleep.
“You have no magic,” he said, as he paced around the room, refusing to sit still. The Night Mage howled away, but I managed to block out the sound. “You have no protection. We need to extract the mark of the Mage.”
“But how?”
He paused. I didn’t like the look on his face.
“By transferring it to me.”
“No,” I said automatically. “Not a chance.”
He crouched down beside my chair and clasped both of my hands. “I must. I can defend myself against the Mage. I conjured the shield, didn’t I? That shield is inside of me. I may not have the power to kill the Mage, but we know I can inflict some damage. If we both travel to the Otherworld, and forge a connection—”
“A connection?” I asked. “What…what kind of connection?”
“We can form a bond in the Otherworld. A piece of me will live in you, and a piece of you will reside in me.”
“But…what does it mean?”
“Our lives will not be bound, if that is your fear. If I die, you will stay alive, and vice versa. I don’t know all the possible outcomes. I’ve never formed a bond before.”
I wasn’t against the idea of connecting with Faol, but it still seemed risky. “Could we control one another?” I asked.
“I don’t know. But even if I could, I would never seek to control you. But I can take the poison from you and—”
“No, Faol! You can’t take the poison from me. You tried this with the Mage, remember? You thought you could become one with the Mage, and it didn’t work. Moranda had to save you. She won’t come again, Faol, I’m sure of it! Please. I know you’re trying to help, but this won’t work. It’s beyond your reach.” I knew I was hurting him, but I couldn’t let him do this. It would never work.
“We have no other choice.”
“Of course we have choice!”
“Aideen. Look at me – look me in the eye – and tell me you believe I can destroy the Mage before the next full moon. Look at me and say it aloud.”
He held me in the fiery grip of his emerald eyes. I looked into them, beyond them, to the heart I pressed tight against my own, and found I couldn’t lie.
He smiled, without joy. “There is a chance we’ll both die during the transference. But I’d rather die with you than burn your body. Don’t make that my fate, Aideen. If you care about me at all—”
“I care about you deeply. You know I do.”
“Then you’ll let me do this?”
I drew a long breath.
“If our positions were reversed,” he said, “would you do the same?”
“Yes,” I said. “I would.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
We spent the morning apart. Faol holed himself up in his study, and I poured Cal a hot bath.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“You wouldn’t have shared your bath with me.”
“Perhaps not. You must have cared about him to come to the castle.”
“We still do. But don’t worry, Aideen. Friends only.”
“I wasn’t worried…” My eyes fell down her fuzzy blue body.
“I’m quite a catch in my human form.” She kicked out her stubby feet and bobbed through the water. “I do love baths.”
“Did you love them before?”
“No, not really. I never had much opportunity for a bath. My family was quite poor. We had a river instead. My mother said the cold water would make me strong. All it did was make me cold.”
“I think you’re strong,” I said.
“Because I haven’t gone doolally? I guess that means I’m strong. But the three of us are in it together. Four, now.”
“
Possibly three,” I corrected. I held up my hand. “This is going to kill me unless Faol takes it for himself.”
Cal stopped kicking. “I’m not surprised he’s doing this. He’s lived with guilt for so long.”
“I want him to try,” I said. “For his sake, not mine.”
“He’s not defeating the Mage, is he?”
“I don’t think so. I’m supposed to help him, but I’ve only made things worse.”
“So have we,” said Cal. “He can barely look at us. Maybe if we’d never come, he’d—”
“Don’t say that. You can’t know what would have happened if you’d never arrived at the castle. And don’t ever let him hear you speak like that, either.”
“Yes, ma’am. Can you give me some privacy please? I’d like to enjoy my bath in peace.”
I made lunch for myself and Faol. Would Moranda continue to deliver food once the month was up, or would she let us starve?
“We’ll do this in the castle’s heart,” Faol said, as we ate our sandwiches in his study. “We can forge a strong connection to the Otherworld.”
“Okay,” I said.
“When the time comes, you’ll need to accept me fully. We will become so deeply intertwined we won’t know where one person ends and the other begins. Once we leave the Otherworld we’ll break apart again, but the bond will never truly be broken. You won’t quite be yourself. There will be a part of me in you. And a part of you in me.”
“I don’t mind,” I said. “I quite like the idea.”
“A part of me did that to you.” He touched my blackened hand. “And a bigger part did that.” He pointed to my scarred face.
“This”—I raised my poisoned hand—“was from a part of you so twisted and distorted that it bears no resemblance to the real you. And this”—I touched my cheek—“is when you tried to save me. And you did. I never felt pain in my face. Yet my arms and legs still ache, and my head hurts. But the skin of my face is unharmed.”
“Not unharmed.”
“We’ve been through this before,” I said, a tad shortly. “You need to stop blaming yourself for everything. I will happily join you in the Otherworld, and I will happily maintain that bond once we return.”
He kissed my knuckles, and said nothing.
We returned to the castle’s heart, and walked down the broken stairs and into the cold water. We stopped when we were in the middle. The water came up to my chest.
Faol linked our hands. Cal and Scaly watched by the door.
“How will I know if something’s gone wrong?” I asked.
“You’ll know.”
“And what will I do?”
“I don’t know, Aideen. But you’ve always thought of something in the past.”
“That doesn’t give me much confidence,” I admitted.
“It gives me confidence. I believe in you.”
If only we could believe in you.
“You’ll see things in the Otherworld,” said Faol. “Creatures, demons… Don’t let them in. Focus only on me. On our bond. Now close your eyes.”
My world turned dark. My teeth chattered with the cold; even Faol’s hands brought little warmth. I heard voices: female voices. Moranda and his mother. A current tugged at my feet, pulling me closer to Faol, so close our noses almost touched. The breath of his spell brushed against me.
And then I felt him on the skin of my face, yet his hands were in my hands, and there was still a gap between us. But I felt something, and I knew instantly it was Faol – some part of him, some part that lived in the Otherworld. The thing that was Faol twisted around my neck, not too tight, and around my chest, around our hands, around my legs, binding me in place.
And I was lighter. And I could feel his face, even though we held only each other’s hands. And I felt myself wrap around his neck, brushing through his hair, and around his body, right down to his feet in the water.
“My burden is your burden,” said Faol.
“My burden is your burden.”
“My life is your life.”
My life is your life.
“We become one,” said Faol. “In the past, the present and future. You are mine and I am yours. Forever.”
“Forever.”
Something pinched at my chest. I clenched my arms inwards.
“Give it to me,” he said. “Let me have it.”
I relaxed my shoulders, opening up. He pinched again, in the space beside my heart, clawing and pulling.
There was something inside me, and it moved forward, towards the skin of my chest. I gasped for air, my throat restricted, and then the thing inside broke free, and the deadness in my limbs and arms began to fade. I felt my toes, my ankles and calves. The lightness moved up my body and into my head. The weight lifted there too. I hadn’t realised how heavy I’d been.
I felt the last of the poison leave my body, and I felt freer than a bird on the wind.
“It is done,” said Faol. “It is—” His voice was cut off with a deep rasp.
My eyes flew open. And Faol did the same. His eyes were black. Completely black, like they’d been filled in with oil.
He whipped his hands from our bond, and lunged for my face.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
His nails dragged down my cheeks. I screamed at him, screamed his name, but there was nothing left of the Faol I knew.
I fell back into the water; he lunged in after me, fixating on my face like he wanted to rip it off. I used my feet and knees to fight back, and struck hard enough to give me time to escape.
I hauled myself through the water, fighting the weight of my sodden hair and clothes. Cal bounced on the edge of the pool, with Scaly beside her.
“This was a bad idea!” she said.
I was nearly at the edge when he caught me again, leaping onto my back, his hands flying blind around my face. I shut my eyes to protect them.
Cal yelled at him too, but his hands wouldn’t stop their vicious attack. I scratched at his wrists and arms and threw myself left to right in a bid to shake him off. I buckled my knees, dropping down suddenly into the shallow water. I rolled onto my back, putting him between me and the stone, and knew immediately I’d made a mistake. His legs hooked around mine, pinning me in place. He grabbed at my cheek and mouth and nose. I screamed as loud as I could.
Cal leapt onto my chest, her clawed feet spiking into my skin and then into Faol’s arms. I felt Scaly around my hair; she must have joined in too.
The attack stopped, and his arms fell slack. I threw an arm around Cal and rolled free; turned and saw Scaly had nipped the soft skin around his eye.
“Take him back to the Otherworld,” Cal said quickly. “Take the poison back from him!”
I set her down on the stone and grabbed Faol around the middle, reversing our previous positions. I locked my arms and didn’t let go, not when he tried to prise them apart, or when he bent his arms back, trying to hack at my face.
“How do I return?” I asked Cal.
“Open your bond! Look for the door and push him through!”
Faol squirmed under my arms. His legs flew through the water, kicking at my shins. I dragged him back to the middle of the pool, to the castle’s heart, and I closed my eyes.
My mind was a mess. Faol’s wet hair clung to my face as he thrashed around.
There is a door, I told myself. A door to the Otherworld.
In my mind’s eye, I saw the faint whisper of colour. I willed the door into existence, picturing it in front of myself and Faol. It grew larger in my mind, more solid. I searched for the link, the trace of Faol in my skin, and held on tight.
Open, I commanded the door.
I threw my weight against Faol’s back, pushing us through.
I opened my eyes to the Otherworld.
We were still in the castle’s heart, but now the sky was black and twinkling. The stone stairs that led to the pool were no longer crumbling, but whole and new. Yet on the opposite wall, the castle had fallen into further dilapidatio
n.
All of time is wound up in a ball.
Faol had grown still. Now was my chance to take back what was mine.
“My burden is your burden,” I whispered into his hair. “The poison is—”
The water gurgled around us, bubbling up like a hot kettle. Someone walked down the stairs: a mage, with forest-green hair that fell to her knees. I tightened my grip on Faol.
She ran down to the edge of the pool. Her eyes were black, her face young. She wore a high-collared coat, with tarnished brass buttons and long, frayed sleeves. She pulled at her hair, dragging it down her scalp, and lumbered into the water, wailing like a ghoul. I staggered back, pulling Faol’s lifeless form with me.
“I see you!” the mage shrieked, moving quickly now. “I see you both!”
“Who are you?” I asked, as bold as I could. “What do you want?”
The mage pulled up in front of Faol. She reached a hand towards his face. I spun as fast as I could in the water, putting myself in the way.
“Don’t touch him!”
But the mage only laughed, and glided through the water. She prodded a long finger at Faol’s face.
“Stop it!” I cried. “Leave him alone.”
“Broken doll,” the mage cooed. “All broken inside.”
“No he’s not! He’s not broken.”
“I am broken too! It is good to break. To break your bones. Each one snap, snap, snap. To break your heart. To break your eyes.”
“Go away,” I pleaded, readjusting my arms around Faol, spreading my hands up his chest and over his heart.
“Broken boy.” The mage gnashed her teeth. “I could eat him up.”
I was on the verge of tears. There was no one around to help. And Faol hadn’t moved in a long time. I needed to concentrate, to pull out the poison and put it back inside me.
“He is dead and alive,” the mage said with a grin. “I am dead and alive.”
“You can’t be dead and alive,” I said firmly, clinging to something solid in this nightmare world.
“Dead and alive. The more I die, the more I live!”
The Night Mage Page 13