by Skyler Snow
I sighed and rested against his chest. Slowly, my heart rate went from racing to normal. Instead of pulling away I held onto Scott. With the way his arms tightened around me, I wondered if he didn’t want me to let go either. I buried my nose against him, taking in the scent of his musk.
After a moment, however, Scott stepped back. I already missed the feel of his arms around me. Safe and secure.
I winced when I tried to take a step. I had rolled my ankle, but I refused to make a fuss. I looked up and saw that we were close to the bottom. I could make it to the car. That’s what I tried to tell myself, but the pain that shot up my leg said otherwise.
I tried taking another step and had to bite my lip to stop the pained moan that threatened to slip free. Scott lifted me into his arms without warning. I let out a little squeal of surprise.
“How about I give you a lift?” he said.
I sighed gratefully and rested my head against his chest. “Thank you, Scott,” I said and placed my hand against his chest.
“You’re welcome, Elliot.”
When we got home, Scott told me to wait, then came around and carried me out of the car. I rode the elevator in his arms. I was managing just fine until he had to get the keys out of his pocket. Instead of putting me down, Scott moved me so my legs straddled his waist while he fished around in his pocket for the house keys. For a split second, an image of us naked in that position with my back against the wall, flashed into my head. It took everything in my power not to get hard pressed up against him, but when Scott put me in bed, I couldn’t meet his eyes.
Not when he checked on my ankle and told me it wasn’t sprained. Not even after he brought me a cold compress just in case. My eyes stayed firmly on his chest—not that the view helped me.
“You need to stay off of that ankle for a few days,” Scott pointed out as he brushed hair from my forehead. “I’ll take care of you in the meantime.”
I swallowed thickly, but there was a lump in my chest that refused to let me speak. Scott was going to take care of me. I nodded and muttered a quiet thanks, but that was all I could manage.
I was close to doing something really dumb, wasn’t I?
8
Scott
“Excited to be a working man?” I asked, trying not to let Elliot know that I’d been sleep deprived ever since he started living with me. And after that hiking trip? It was even more difficult to get him out of my head.
It was difficult getting to sleep when every day seemed to intensify my attraction. Elliot genuinely had a beautiful heart. It was more than his looks that drew me in. He’d turned into an interesting, caring, sweet man, and boy, did I admire those traits.
His reappearance into my life, the realization that I wanted more from him, his talents. It all seemed to flow together, making me want to possess him, own him, and maybe even one day love him.
It kept me up at night thinking about it.
And other things were definitely up too.
“Excited is one word for it.” Elliot looked like he hadn’t been getting much sleep either. There were slightly purple circles under his eyes. The last few days he had been drinking, staying up late, talking to his friends. It showed. He had his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee, and they were shaking just the tiniest bit as he sipped at his drink.
I’d been tempted on more than one occasion to scold him and tell him he needed his rest. Put him to bed, my bed, and hold him while he slept. Stop it, Scott. Seriously, what is wrong with you?
“Oh, don’t be so worried about this. They’re all your friends, after all, and they all seem to like you. Especially that Connie girl.” I tested the waters, both trying to calm him down and see how he would react to my mentioning Connie. I knew that Elliot was single, and that he was into girls, but that was the extent of my knowledge into his love life. My heart fluttered as I saw a pink blush rise into Elliot’s face.
“Connie? Oh, she’s nice, but she’s… uh, not into guys. Girls only.” He seemed nervous to admit that Connie was a lesbian, but I had no clue why. There was a tense moment of silence between us as Elliot’s words hung in the air. A weight lifted off my chest, and I immediately tried to ignore the feeling. So, Elliot didn’t have this particular girl in mind, or least she didn’t have him in mind.
It was twisted to want him to be single, but I couldn’t take the idea of someone else with Elliot. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing.
Elliot’s eyes on me were wide and expectant… I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me after telling me his friend was gay.
“Son, the word lesbian exists,” I said teasingly. Elliot’s gaze flickered up to me, his expression looking a little surprised.
“Oh, I just didn’t… I didn’t know how you would take it?” Elliot’s voice wavered, and I had to hold in a sigh. If only he knew.
“Elliot, why on earth would you think that?” I was confused at his reaction. He seemed to relax a little, his grip around the coffee mug loosening and his shoulders falling a little.
“Well, it’s… just that you…” Elliot looked embarrassed again and gestured at me. “You’re really tough and… masculine.”
“Should that affect how I look at the world?” I asked, feeling a smile creep onto my face. It was cute to watch him tiptoe around the real reason to why he thought I might be homophobic.
“No! It’s just surprising. With your… age,” Elliot finally managed to say. My shoulders were shaking with laughter and his face only grew more and more red.
“Stop laughing!” Elliot looked like he was about to stomp his feet.
“Elliot, are you calling me a homophobic old man? What is it you young folks say? Boomer? Am I a homophobic boomer, Elliot?” I teased relentlessly, trying to get a reaction out of him. His face was buried in his hands, and his ears were bright red as well. “Elliot, you have to remember that I was alive in the seventies and eighties.”
“What on earth does that have to do with—” Elliot began before his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he checked it quickly. “Oh, thank God. Tom’s here to pick me up. I’ll be back at five!”
He scrambled out of the apartment, his backpack slung across one shoulder and his face still a bright-scarlet red. The door slammed shut and I had a moment to laugh about it to myself.
What a fucked-up little situation I had found myself in, but for some reason Elliot’s reaction gave me hope… maybe, just maybe I had a shot.
Or, he could just be a product of his time and accepting of everyone’s orientation.
The last thing I need is to get my hopes up.
9
Elliot
“Dude, are you okay? You look like you just threw up,” Tom said as I slammed the car door. My heart was still pounding in my chest as I settled into my seat, placing my backpack at my feet and buckling my seatbelt. I nodded, swallowing to get rid of my suddenly dry throat.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Tom shrugged, turning on the engine. I was the only one in the car since I lived the closest to him. Tom was the only one out of all of us who owned a car, so he drove for the carpool. It would be a while before we had any company.
“How were you able to get a car? Don’t you get paid the same as everyone else?” I asked, looking around the interior. It wasn’t a luxury car, but it was definitely much better than anything I thought an artist would be able to afford. He shot a devious smile at me.
“Oh, I get commissioned for porn, and I have a salary job, so I make money while making money,” Tom said with a smile as I rolled my eyes at him. Of course he did. It was smart, but I wasn’t going to let Tom know that. “So, what’s up with you? Why did you look like a tomato when you came out here today?”
“Oh, just…” I froze, my brain failing to make an excuse for my embarrassment. Tom glanced over at me, and I felt a hot flush return to my face. It wasn’t anything that I would be uncomfortable talking about, but Tom would find a way to twist it up into something sexual, for sure. It was wh
at he was good at.
“You’re blushing again, Elliot. Do you have a crush on someone?” Tom’s voice suddenly became very interested and his smile grew. “I promise I won’t tell anyone if you’re trying to date Connie. Honestly, it’s pretty hard not to get a crush on her—”
“It’s not Connie! She’s just a friend! Plus, she’s a whole lesbian!” I shouted, trying to stop Tom’s rambling before he said something that would make it hard to look at Connie ever again. He was good at that, too.
“That’s true, but she’s pretty. She’s totally only into girls, but can’t we all have dreams?” Tom’s voice went light and dreamy for a theatrical moment. Then he came back to the root of the problem, unfortunately. “If you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll just tell Connie you have a crush on her. She’ll probably believe it, too.”
“Fuckin—” I slapped Tom’s shoulder, not hard enough to affect his driving, but hard enough to get my anger across. “It’s just… The guy I’m living with—”
“YOU’RE GAY!” Tom shouted, and slapped my chest with the back of hand, even with his eyes still fixed on the road. “I FUCKIN’ KNEW IT!”
“NO, TOM, I’M NOT GAY!” I shouted right back. My frustration over the situation overcame my embarrassment and I finally blurted out the truth. “The guy I’m living with just asked me if I was dating anyone. That’s all.”
There was a moment of silence as my words hung in the air and settled on both of us. Tom looked at me with a doubtful expression, an eyebrow raised.
“Hey, Elliot, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that sounds kinda gay. Kinda like he’s interested in you.” Tom’s voice was quiet and a little thoughtful as he waited a moment to collect his thoughts. “This is that super-old guy, right?”
“He’s not old.” I jumped to Scott’s defense without thinking. “He’s not that old. He’s my dad’s age, that’s all. And he’s not gay. And he’s definitely not interested in me.” I hesitated, not sure that if that was completely true or not. Scott had never married, never even dated anyone his entire life, according to my father. Maybe that was a bit odd, but it didn’t mean he was gay. Right? Why am I even worried about this? I shook my head and tried to avoid the subject.
“Well, did he ever say he was straight?” Tom asked. Sexuality, in his mind, was easy. He was bisexual, after all, and was perfectly open with the fact. I shrugged, not wanting to answer. It felt like he would just question me more.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m straight.” I said, my voice still weak as I was lost in thought. Tom didn’t seem to find it very convincing and instead, took the chance to jump onto one of his favorite topics, my sexuality.
“I’m sorry, but no one has this many gay friends, draws for a living, lives with a fifty-year-old man, and is straight,” Tom teased. “You’ll figure it out soon enough, though,” he added, with a matter-of-fact tone. It grated on me a little, but Tom was usually funny enough for me to ignore it. I wasn’t entirely sure why he was so certain that I wasn’t straight, but he insisted that I was “at least a little gay.”
“Tom, your gaydar is off. I promise you that.” He gave me one last look before pulling his car over onto the side of the road, parking, and shooting Connie a text. “And Scott isn’t fifty yet.”
“Whatever you say, Elliot.”
Once Connie joined us in the car, Tom fortunately dropped the subject in favor of talking to her about their latest project, catching me up on the work that I would be tossed into. Isaac, surprisingly enough, was the one to inform me about most of the work. It seemed that he, in his quiet observation, was usually the one in charge. He managed our team, made sure that ideas were communicated, and that everyone was happy with the end result. He certainly didn’t look the part of a team leader. He was usually dressed in comfortable anime merchandise most of the time, but he seemed the best equipped for the job.
The car ride must have been at least thirty minutes. With all my friends in the car with me time sped by and we found ourselves in front of the office in no time. It was one of those tall, imposing buildings that seemed to be wildly unsafe. Every single outside wall was made of glass, but my friends reassured me that it would be fine. They helped to navigate me through the winding hallways and up an elevator, until we came to quite a brightly colored area of the office building, tucked away from the outside.
“And this is our office!” Tom said, catching the keys that Isaac tossed to him. He unlocked the door and pushed it open. The walls were obviously painted by all three of them, swirling colors and different symbols from characters we had made together. Houseplants decorated the tables, all of them with a lamp, a sketchbook, and a stand of tablets. A minifridge sat against one wall, as well as a microwave on a table. Tom, Connie, and Isaac all went to a space, leaving just one empty.
“So, here’s where we work. We usually do our work independently, until we have to hand it off to the next person, and we might discuss things, how we want it to look, what mistakes we might see, things like that,” Isaac explained, putting his bag on the table and unpacking his things. It seemed that most of the work was done electronically, too, since everyone had a tablet and laptop to work with. I followed them, feeling my hands tremble with nervous excitement.
I had worked with these people for fun more times than I could count, but it suddenly felt impossible to do in a work setting. Isaac glanced at me watching him and offered me a gentle smile. We weren’t best friends, but he seemed to understand my anxiety the most and offered me a hand.
I hesitantly took it, and he squeezed my hand, looking up at my face.
“You’ll do great. And we’re all here to help you. Remember that we’re still your friends.” He whispered it so quietly that only I would have been able to hear it. I nodded, swallowing thickly. It made sense, what he said, but I couldn’t fight the knots in my stomach.
“We’ll work for an hour and see where we’re all at.” Isaac turned to Connie and Tom, letting go of my hand. I stared down at the hand that he had held, feeling a strange tingling. It was a warm and light feeling, and it made my heart skip a beat. It was strange that I should have noticed it in my spiraling thoughts, and my heart hammering in my chest, but I did. Something about Isaac reaching out to me and making sure I was all right gave me warm fuzzies.
“All right.” Tom immediately sat down, putting on headphones and turning on his tablet. There was some half-finished drawing already on his laptop, and his face became focused while he concentrated on working. I stared at him, wondering if it was a joke for a moment before Connie tapped on my shoulder.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” she offered, seeing my surprised face. I nodded again, feeling a bit lost. “Tom gets really into his work. It’s actually really surprising, but he loves his job.” She nodded at Tom, who didn’t seem to hear anything we said.
“Yeah. It’s… definitely surprising.” I tried to add anything to the conversation, but my mind was already moving toward what I needed to do and screaming at me not to screw up. Connie gestured for me to sit down, and I started up my tablet and laptop with shaking hands.
“So, I’ve sent you something in the work email that I want you to work on. It’s just a rough draft for now, and some character traits, but it’ll be a good start for you.” Her voice was soft, even though both Isaac and Tom had headphones on, as if she could sense how unsure of myself I was. Connie’s hand brushed against my cheek, and I looked up at her. She gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my shoulder before she went to sit down at her own desk.
This is where your art really matters, Elliot, I thought to myself, opening the email and looking over the rough sketch that Connie had sent me. It wasn’t much to work off of, but it would be enough.
I put on my headphones and the music blasted in my ears. Then I got to work and ignored the fluttering in my belly when I thought about going home to Scott.
I ignored Tom’s voice in my head laughing at me.
My first day had gone really well, and I was
glad I had nothing to worry about. As promised, I started to text my dad to tell him it had gone well, and my phone started ringing. Not that it surprised me.
It was just me and Tom in the car, so I decided I could talk to him.
“It’s my dad,” I said to Tom.
“Okay, talk to him. I don’t mind,” Tom said.
As soon as I accepted the call, my dad’s voice boomed into my ear. “So you move away and suddenly you forget about your dear old dad.”
“Exaggerate much?” I rolled my eyes at my dad. “I texted you two days ago.”
“Texted!” My dad made the word sound like it was dirty, “Is that all I get now?”
“Fine, fine, I’ll call next time. How are you?”
“I’m good, although I have been busy wrapping up my current project. I swear if they change the specs one more time…”
I chuckled because I’d heard Dad complain like this a lot. There was something comforting about it.
“So tell me about your first day. How did it go?” My dad asked.
“It was great. Everyone was nice.” I went on to tell him everything, and I could hear the relief in his voice for me.
What I didn’t add was how excited I was to be going home to Scott. My face heated just thinking about it.
10
Scott
My heart jumped at the sound of the door unlocking. Elliot was back, looking a little tired but happy overall, and I stood to greet him. He had a dazed sort of smile on his face and seemed a little more confident than he had this morning.
There was a glow to his face now, shining through his usually nervous demeanor.
“So, how was work?” I asked. I wasn’t sure why my voice came out sounding more like a growl. Elliot didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he threw his arms around me in a hug.