Ellie cast a cautious glance over her shoulder. They were stretchy burgundy boxers, but they fitted him like a second skin, clinging to his lean hips and taut buttocks—and she had no intention of checking the rest in any detail.
“You’re a grown-up—you can do your own,” she muttered.
“I can’t do my back, Ellie. And you haven’t done yours too well, if it comes to that. Hold still.”
He took the bottle from her unresisting fingers and drizzled the liquid over her shoulders, massaging it into her hot skin with a firm hand.
“Bend over a little.” The cold lotion hit just above her bra-strap, and she flinched. “Do you want to undo that, or shall I work up to the edges?” he murmured. His fingers moved lower, paying special attention to each knob of her spine, circling around the bones with suggestive little caresses.
Her nipples had contracted to hard throbbing peaks the instant he touched her. She crossed her arms over her breasts to hide the damning evidence. Even resting against her own arms, their sensitivity was extreme. “Just slap it on,” she mumbled. “It’ll go in the wash after today.”
Another squirt of the cold lotion hit the centre of her back. His hand covered it warmly and continued smoothing over the area between her bra and panties.
“White for a virgin,” he murmured, and Ellie’s heart contracted. He’d said the same thing in Sydney eleven years ago, as they swam in the hotel pool before their second night together—although her white bikini had been a good deal briefer than today’s less-than-provocative bra and panties.
She glanced over her shoulder, and of course he’d been waiting for her to look at him. His dark eyes danced with suggestive amusement, and the sun struck golden flashes in their depths. As her eyes meshed with his, he pursed his lips and sent her a tiny kiss his daughters would never register.
Ellie buzzed with sensation, and the warmth concentrated itself further and further inside until she could absolutely feel the lick of soft flames deep in her pelvis. Damn the man! He could still demolish her after all this time.
She shook her head, smiling despite herself. “Your turn then,” she said, stepping around behind him, determined to remember it was only one friend rubbing sun protection on another.
His back was as beautiful as she’d remembered—long, lean, and smoothly muscled. She squeezed a big dollop of lotion onto her palm and set the bottle down on the river bank, then rubbed her hands together and reached up to his shoulders, sliding in toward his neck, running her thumbs up to his hairline and down again.
It was like returning to a much-loved landscape—a place where only good memories resided. Every slope and hollow seemed achingly familiar. She worked in silence, hearing his breathing but registering little else through the sheer bliss of touching him again. Even the noise of the girls faded away as she concentrated on covering his whole back. She squeezed out more sunscreen and spread it along the deep groove of his spine...out over the hard curve of his ribcage... down to his trim waist.
“Do you want to push those down, or will I just work up to the edge?” she couldn’t resist asking.
He chuckled and pushed his briefs down a few inches. Ellie stood close behind him, massaging the slippery lotion out over his hipbones, inward to his spine again, and lower than was probably wise. She pressed a little harder, rubbing just above his tailbone, knowing how much he used to enjoy being touched there. He tensed... breathing faster... alive beneath her hands. She feathered her fingers upward to his shoulders and began to smooth the sunscreen over his arms.
He let out a long frustrated sigh and she smiled, unseen, behind him.
“Ellie...” he said. It was a moan, a plea, an acknowledgement of need. She’d taken him on at his own game and beaten him. He swivelled to face her.
And to hide the state of his body from his daughters?
“Will you do my front, too?” he asked.
For a few moments she stood quite still. And then, tempted beyond breaking point, she squeezed out more sunscreen into one palm, hooked a finger into the waistband of his boxers, slid her slippery hand inside and grasped him.
He groaned as she drew her slick fingers back along his impressive length once, twice, then deserted him and whirled away.
“You seem to have done it beautifully yourself,” she called back over her shoulder as she escaped into the river. “A nice cold dip is good for that sort of inflammation.”
He pursued her into the water, catching her around the waist and pulling her back against him. They collapsed together in a splashing heaving heap, steam practically boiling off their superheated skin.
“Daddy—mind our waterfall!” Ants exclaimed.
Chapter Seven—Digging Up the Past
Ellie knew it would be almost impossible to regain her ground now. Why on earth had she given in and done that?
He’d been deliberately winding her up. So? Some of the older children at school were experts—and she could cut them down to size with a cool stare and a few stern words.
But she was out of control with Tony. Grabbing him was inexcusable. It was such an obvious invitation when she’d sworn to keep her distance. And so close to the girls! Could she ever backtrack from here? “More chicken?” she asked, avoiding his eyes.
He passed his plate across and she forked the food onto it as they reclined in the dappled shade of the big willow tree. Tony had spread out a picnic rug and the two beach towels Ginny had packed. The girls had eaten, and wandered a short distance away to pick wildflowers.
Unspoken questions sizzled back and forth in the languid air. Tony put down his plate.
“Shall we look for the fossils now?” Ellie asked, too fast.
“No.” He smiled faintly. “We’ll make the most of our relative privacy and decide how we’re going to handle this situation.”
“There’s no ‘situation’ to handle.”
“That’s not how it feels to me, Ellie. As far as I’m concerned, we’re back in Sydney. We had a fantastic thing going there. I’m lusting for you again to an unbelievable degree.”
Lusting. Yes, that about sums it up.
She chastised herself yet again for responding to him on the balcony the previous evening... absolutely cursing her stupidity with the sunscreen, even if the satin-and-steel sensation of him under her fingers had been magic.
Lusting was something animals did. She was prepared to admit she lusted after Tony. Would even concede, in her most secret heart of hearts, that it might be more than lust as far as she was concerned. But she couldn’t possibly let him know that.
She bit down on her wayward tongue and searched for words to somehow deflect his intensity. “Tell me about Julia,” she demanded.
“Julia,” he sighed. “You’re not playing fair, Ellie.”
“I’m not playing at all.”
He collapsed back onto the rug and clamped his hands over his face. Ellie watched as he rubbed at his temples with his fingertips.
“Julia,” he repeated, despairingly. “I’m never going to forgive myself for wrecking Julia’s life.”
“I hardly think you did that.”
“She hated it here. She wasn’t a country girl. I should have seen it would be impossible.”
“Where did you meet her?”
“At a summer camp in the States. She’d gone there as a gym instructor. Darren and I were on the homeward leg of the trip by then. The American summer camps often have overseas helpers.”
He ran his fingers back across his closely cropped scalp. He’d closed his eyes. Against the light, or unwanted memories? Ellie had no idea.
“So that was a while after you met me?”
“Ages. A couple of years. She was a pretty thing. Blonde like the girls.” He opened his eyes again and reached up to touch Ellie’s dark hair.
“Good thing I’m not a blonde then.”
He gave a mirthless laugh at that, then asked a few seconds later, “Were you sure of what you wanted ten years ago, Ellie? I know you’d
enrolled to be a teacher—you told me that in Sydney. But with your life? Did you have plans beyond teaching?”
She shook her head, careful to give nothing away. Any plans she might have had were well and truly rearranged by becoming pregnant with his child.
“Julia was ambitious. She was absolutely sure of what she wanted—and the moment we met again at Matt’s wedding, it was me. I’ve never known a girl so single-minded. She was quite something.”
“And hard to resist?”
“Damned hard. She was a dynamo. She tended to get what she wanted.”
“Not that you objected, obviously?”
“Not hard enough, anyway. She was pretty, affectionate, from a well-to-do family. I thought she’d make a good wife. But she was a real schemer—tough as nails—although she kept that well hidden to start with. Both her brothers are competitive as hell. I suppose she took her cue from them—or from her dad, David, while he was still alive. Ginny’s a honey by comparison.”
He reached across and linked his fingers through hers so she couldn’t pull free. He’d been a hand-holder in Sydney. She’d loved being out in public with him, branded as his by a casual warm clasp.
“I’m not interested,” she growled, gazing down at their joined hands.
“You were into my pants before lunch. That felt pretty damned interested.”
“A moment’s aberration,” she declared, knowing she was on very shaky ground.
Tony let loose a whoop of laughter. “That’s a new name for it.”
“It won’t happen again.”
“We’ll see.” He let go of her hand, and she pulled it back well out of his reach.
“And then she announced she was pregnant.” The humour had fled from his voice.
Ellie’s world stood still.
“So that was me, ready-trussed for roasting. She really put the acid on after that. Marriage was a foregone conclusion as far as she was concerned.”
Ellie breathed out very slowly with the pain, and lowered herself to lean back on her elbows. She stared ahead, trembling, seeing nothing, as her emotions seethed and boiled almost out of control.
“Condom must have failed,” Tony continued. “Or maybe she sabotaged it? That nasty little possibility did occur to me. I was always careful with my ladies. You were already on the pill, and I was careful with you, wasn’t I?”
“After the first night,” she agreed in a small voice.
The unfairness of the situation was horrendous. Worse than she’d ever imagined possible.
Julia had become pregnant and gained everything—the man Ellie had wanted, his children, a luxurious lifestyle.
Ellie had become pregnant, and lost, and lost, and lost.
Lost her mother’s esteem for long months. Lost the opportunity of training as a teacher until the following year. Lost the company of her son while she was away achieving her diploma. Lost any chance of Callum knowing his father.
And lost her heart forever, she acknowledged. Tony had spoiled her for any future man.
“So there we were,” he continued. “City girl and country guy, stuck miles out in the back-blocks, her as sick as a dog most mornings. I wrecked her life, all right. She never really recovered.”
“You seriously think she got herself pregnant on purpose?”
“I was careful. Always used condoms with her before we married. Always. But who knows?” He plucked at a blade of grass and spoke towards the river. “I hoped I might track you down when I came back, but Julia’s pregnancy put paid to that.”
“No,” Ellie breathed, shaking her head in disbelief. The ache in her heart intensified. He’d remembered her? Still wanted her? And been stolen away by history repeating itself? It was tragic beyond anything she could imagine.
Tony waved at the horse-fly threatening to land on his belly, then shot her an anguished glance. “You were special to me, Ellie. Out of the question all those years ago in Sydney, but special.” He reached across and ran a finger down the side of her face.
Ellie’s breath hitched, and instinctively she turned her head and sank her teeth into his hand to stop its unnerving progress.
“Stop,” she mumbled around his fingers. How she longed to lick his flesh, taste his skin, slide her tongue over him!
Tony sighed and removed his hand. “Julia hated the farm as passionately as I loved it,” he said. “We did our best, but it wasn’t working... was never going to work. We travelled as much as we could, but we always had to come back here. And then they found the tumour.”
He resumed pulling at the rough grass beside the rug. “I’ve been in limbo for the last three or four years. Stranded. Marking time. Wondering how the hell Julia and I could possibly settle things between us. I shouldn’t admit it, but her illness set me free. You’ve no idea the extra guilt that laid on me. It made things a hell of a lot worse, not better.”
Ellie hardly heard him. She was still too aware of his touch on her face, and her own helpless reaction. Slowly his meaning sank in to her addled brain as he stared into space, silent for a while.
So she hadn’t imagined the expression in his eyes the evening before? She’d thought he looked desolate. His normally warm brown eyes had been distant and cold.
But maybe she’d been in limbo too? She’d kept herself frantically busy, bustling about and filling every minute of her days. Given time to her son, her mother, and her pupils. But none to herself. Or none that was kind and indulgent.
With huge effort she’d achieved her goals of job and security, but had she found happiness or peace?
Thinking like this is useless, she scolded herself. Her son, her job, her soon-to-be-finished house were quite enough. More than many single women gained. She’d worked for them with real determination and was proud of the way she’d managed to organise her life for Cal. She should be satisfied.
So why the hell wasn’t she... quite... any longer?
She drew a deep breath. “Tony, I have my life all arranged. I love my work. I’m really looking forward to moving into my own home. I’m pleased to be here at Wharemoana—this job is ideal for me. It’s somewhere to live for a while, too. But if we were to—” she hesitated, searching his face while she located the right description—“get together, it could only be temporary, until I went back to my real life.”
His gaze fastened on hers. “You mean mutual pleasure, no strings?”
Ellie nodded slowly, trying to gauge his reaction. “Yes, it would have to be like that.” Such a thought both relieved and appalled her. The prospect of once again becoming his lover was so tempting. But it had to be balanced against the certainty of being ripped away from him a second time. No amount of pleasure could make up for the pain that would follow.
“No problem, Ellie. That’s fine.” He sounded coolly controlled... unaffected by such a businesslike arrangement.
She looked away from his dark eyes, pretending to consider, knowing how difficult he’d be to resist.
Once bitten, twice shy.
If he’d found marriage such a disaster, for sure he wouldn’t want to tie himself down again, so that was one worry out of the way.
The bigger problem was Cal’s paternity, but she’d hide that by ensuring he never came near the farm.
She’d been contracted to work at Wharemoana until the end of January when the new school term began. Then she’d be putting plenty of distance between herself and Tony, however much that hurt. Perhaps a casual liaison was possible?
Leaving him would be hell on earth, but the prospect of a temporary paradise was almost overpowering.
And there was always the chance they could prove incompatible. It might fizzle out to nothing.
Yeah, right.
“I’ll think about it,” she conceded.
Her body buzzed. Her brain smoked. She was at least halfway toward making the most stupid decision of her life.
And then Tony leaned across and kissed her.
It was a small, soft kiss that was sweetly regretful, hu
gely hungry, and which never quite finished because Ellie’s determination fractured and she slid possessive hands over his shoulders... brushed her fingertips over the velvety new growth of his hair... and pulled him down to deepen their embrace. She wanted him, right at that instant. With eleven years’ hard-leashed passion that had suddenly rushed free. With the longing that had never ended.
~♥~
Tony moved his body over hers, pinning her beneath him, positioning himself for the penetration that could certainly not occur yet, even though she’d parted her thighs to cradle him.
“Ellie,” he breathed, pushing his hips against hers. He’d grown outrageously hard, already primed again for possession. She’d responded so fast that his brain still processed the permission given, but his body was way ahead. Thundering with blood. Tight with passion. Desperate to claim her and subdue her and stamp her as his. All his male instincts raged at fever pitch. He could barely believe his luck after the long bitter guilt-ridden years he’d endured.
And her mouth! Delicious.
The first savage tide of desperation subsided. He kissed her more gently, nipped her nose, brushed his lips over her eyelids, whispered against her neck that she was beautiful, that he wanted her even more than he had all those years ago in Sydney.
She sighed beneath him, murmured, “The girls will see.” But then she closed her lips around his earlobe and sucked.
Tony growled deep in his throat. Groaning, cursing, laughing softly, he levered himself off her and lay face down on the rug.
To judge from the excited barking of the old brown spaniel the girls were still some distance away, but...
“Tonight, then,” he said. The negotiating was over.
Chapter Eight—Mercy Dash
The cliffs did yield fossils—old crumbling shells that intrigued the twins because the sea was several miles away.
“How did they get here, Daddy?”
“This land used to be way down under the ocean. It got pushed up in a huge earthquake, or maybe lots of little ones, thousands of years ago.”
Christmas Down Under: Six Sexy New Zealand & Australian Christmas Romances Page 40