“She’s a good teacher, eh.”
“She certainly is. And she’ll have another chance to instruct me on Saturday.”
* * *
“The paper says the Springboks could win tonight,” Jenna said to Sophie as they found their seats in Wellington’s circular stadium, so aptly nicknamed for the metal-walled cake tin it resembled.
Sophie scoffed. “Just because we lost last time against them, and we’ve had some injuries. We have a deep side, though, you’ll see. The Boks think they can win again with that boring kick-and-chase footy, but they’re wrong about that too. Where they kick the ball downfield, then chase after it, race for it,” she explained at Jenna’s bewildered look. “Watch, and I’ll show you.”
Despite Sophie’s confident words, Jenna knew the little girl was nervous. Harry was more keyed up than usual, too. Clearly, watching a game in person was different from seeing it on television.
“Here they come!” Harry shouted. The crowd was on its feet, roaring its approval as the team took the field behind their captain, and again when they lined up facing the Springboks to perform the haka. When the Maori player pacing between the rows called out the first words of instruction for the traditional challenge and the players dropped into their squats, hands beginning to slap their thighs, the noise grew to almost overwhelming proportions, stayed that way throughout the ferocious movements and shouted chant. The team finished as a staring, intimidating mass of black, and the stadium erupted.
Harry was still jumping up and down with excitement as the crowd took its seats to await the kickoff. “Did you see that, Jenna? Did you see Daddy doing the haka?”
“I did,” Jenna smiled, pulling him down to sit next to her. “He looked fierce, didn’t he?”
“Because he’s feeling that way inside too,” Sophie explained. “He told me,” she went on as Jenna looked at her in surprise. “He has to get himself right to go hard all night. Most of the boys listen to music once they get on the bus, and in the sheds before the game. But Daddy just concentrates. He thinks about what he’s going to do, till he feels dead fierce and strong.”
“Daddy isn’t really fierce, though,” Harry protested. “He’s nice.”
“Not when he’s playing,” Sophie told him patiently. “He has to be able to hurt people. He can’t do that if he’s feeling nice.”
Sophie was right, Jenna decided. She’d never have recognized her thoughtful companion of a few nights ago in the warrior she saw attacking the ball carrier, or carrying the ball himself like a battering ram through a line of South African defenders. Whether he was pushing from the back of the scrum, leaping for the ball in a lineout, or racing to the breakdown, Finn emanated focus and determination. She marveled at the strength and stamina it took to work that hard for forty minutes straight, then back for another forty after a brief break.
Midway through the second half, the All Blacks captain, Drew Callahan, made a sudden turn to tackle an opposing player, pulled up short, and went down on the turf. The crowd seemed to hold its breath until he limped off, supported by the trainer and a huge round of relieved applause from the crowd, as a substitute ran from the bench to take his place.
“That’s bad, right? He seems like an important player,” Jenna said to Sophie.
Sophie looked at her in mild exasperation. “Yeh. He’s the blindside flanker, remember? He does heaps of tackling, and the Boks are strong. But Matt Ropata is pretty good too. We can still win.”
She seemed to be trying to convince herself, and Jenna reached for her hand. “We’ll just have to see. What happens when the captain’s gone, though? Who does … whatever it is that he does?”
“Daddy,” Sophie said in surprise. “He’s the vice captain. Didn’t you know?”
“No. Really?”
“Yeh. Daddy’s been on the squad almost as long as Drew. He’s been vice captain for ages.”
“So what’s he doing now that’s different?” Jenna asked, watching Finn arriving at the breakdown, where the ball carrier had just been tackled, to help get the ball to the backline.
“Talking to people more,” Sophie explained. “Especially the No. 10. About what they’re going to do. But it’s hard to see from here.”
The lead shifted back and forth twice more in the final fifteen minutes, the most gripping of a tense match, with the All Blacks scoring a drop goal after the final buzzer had sounded to win by a single point. By the time it was all over, Harry was asleep with his head in Jenna’s lap, his enthusiasm no match for the day’s excitement and the late hour. But Sophie was even more wound up than before, leaping and cheering the All Blacks’ narrow margin of victory.
“I told you, Jenna!” she exulted as Jenna picked up a drowsy Harry, settling him on her hip for the slow exit from the stadium. “I told you they could do it!”
“And you were right,” Jenna agreed. “They did great, didn’t they? Stay close to me, now. Hold onto the strap of my purse. I don’t want to lose you in this crowd.”
“Is Daddy coming back to the hotel tonight?” Sophie asked, still bright-eyed and overexcited on the way to the carpark. She let go of Jenna to dance ahead of her, facing backwards. “Can I stay up and wait for him? I want to tell him well done.”
“No, he said he’d be going back to the team hotel. We’ll see him in the morning, though,” Jenna promised. “And we’ll all go to the museum together after that. Once he’s had a good sleep, and a nice big breakfast.” She could tell he was going to need both.
Game Face
“The Colossal Squid was actually found very close to New Zealand, did you know that, Jenna?” Harry asked the following afternoon. “It’s from Antarctica. That’s not very far away, did you know that?”
“That’s true,” Jenna told him. “We can look at the world map when we get home and figure out how many kilometers it is.”
Harry bounced happily along next to her on their way across the expansive pedestrian bridge and plaza beside Wellington Harbour, clutching her hand and still talking about the huge squid that had so taken his fancy in the museum, but Jenna had stopped listening. Her heart sank at the sight of the two men approaching, recognition dawning on their faces as they drew closer. She found her steps slowing until she came to a stop. Harry stopped too, his face turned up to her questioningly. Finn, noticing, turned back with Sophie as well.
“Jeremy.” Her mouth had gone dry. “And Alan.” She took a breath and continued. “Finn, I’d like to introduce you to Jeremy Davies, my former husband. And his partner, Alan Green. This is Finn Douglas, my employer, and his children.” She went on to introduce Sophie and Harry as well, and Finn reached out to shake both men’s hands. He had his game face on, Jenna saw. His stone face.
“What are you doing back in Wellington?” Jeremy asked her curiously, his eyes darting from her to Finn.
“I brought the kids down to see their dad play. Finn’s an All Black,” she explained as Jeremy and Alan still looked blank. “They played the Springboks last night.”
“Right.” Alan nodded, looked at Finn with renewed interest. “I heard about that.”
“You’ll want to catch up, Jenna,” Finn told her. “I’ll take the kids back to the hotel, get them into the bath. Take your time.”
“I’ll just be a few minutes,” she hastened to assure him. He nodded again at Jeremy and Alan, then took both children’s hands and continued across the bridge.
“Major hotness,” Alan told Jenna approvingly. “And an All Black too. New boyfriend?”
“No,” Jenna frowned at him. “My employer, like I said. I’m the nanny.”
“Whatever,” he shrugged. “Though I’d have a go, if I were you. Because you look good. Jeremy told me, but I didn’t realize. We’ve all come out of this better in the end, haven’t we?”
“Uh …” Jeremy had the grace to look a bit ashamed as he saw Jenna stiffen. “Anyway. I’m glad we ran into you. I was about to email you an invite to the wedding. We’re doing it in two weeks, down
here, and I’d like you to be there. We’d like you to be there,” he corrected hastily, with a glance at Alan. “We were always good friends, weren’t we? I thought we could get some of that back, now that all this is behind us. Will you come?”
Jenna flushed, hating being put on the spot. She couldn’t think of an excuse, settled on the truth instead. “I’m sorry, Jeremy. I do wish you well. But I can’t do that.”
“Oh. Right.” He chewed his lip, then nodded. “Whatever you think.”
“What about your family?” she asked. “Are they coming?”
He gave a bitter laugh. “You’re joking. Clarissa and Elaine both told me they’d like to, but they’re not going to go against Mum to do it. And Dad does what Mum says. You know that by now.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she told him sincerely. “What about your family, Alan?”
He nodded. “They’re coming. Reckon they’re our family now. And we’ll have heaps of friends there too, of course.”
She smiled a little painfully. “I know you’ll have those. But I need to get back now, give the kids their tea.”
She saw Jeremy reach for her, then hesitate.
“I guess it’s time,” she decided. She leaned forward and gave each man a hug. “I’m not ready to dance at your wedding, but I’m trying to be happy for you.” She blinked the tears away and made her way across the bridge, walking quickly now, just wanting to get away.
This bridge was bad luck for her. This wasn’t the first difficult encounter she’d had here. She remembered the Saturday afternoon she’d run into her mother-in-law, Victoria, a few months after she’d left Jeremy. Kiwis might be known for their friendly, down-to-earth nature, but Victoria had never let that stop her.
“Jenna.” Victoria had looked her over with her usual critical gaze. Her own attire, as always, was impeccable: black slacks and an apricot silk blouse that emphasized her stick-thin figure, her stylish blonde bob and flawless makeup making her look younger than her fifty-six years.
“Victoria.” Jenna didn’t have to pretend anymore. She’d tried her best to be a good daughter-in-law, had bent over backwards to get along. And what had it got her? Nothing. She was done.
“You’ve lost weight,” Victoria said grudgingly.
“I’ve lost my appetite,” Jenna told her. “Being unhappy can do that, I hear.”
Victoria stiffened. “And whose fault is that?”
“I don’t know. Whose?” What could possibly be coming now?
Victoria didn’t leave her in suspense. “Men don’t stray if they’re satisfied at home. You’ve started losing those extra kilos at last, I’ll grant you that. But maybe you should have thought of dieting a few years ago. Because if you’d worked harder to make yourself attractive, Jeremy wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere. William’s always been faithful, because I’ve never let myself go. Even though I’ve had three children.”
“Excuse me?” Jenna asked blankly. “Aren’t you forgetting something? Do you really think there’s anything I could have done to make myself sexually attractive to your son?” And as for her father-in-law, she thought privately, she’d bet he had somebody tucked away somewhere. She couldn’t help hoping he did, anyway.
Victoria waved a hand. “So Jeremy has other … urges. He married you, didn’t he? He could have gone the other way, if there’d been anything to hold him there. He had girlfriends while he was growing up. And you should have had children. I always said so.”
The words hit Jenna like a slap in the face. She’d thought it would be better to face up to Victoria this time, better than smiling and biting her tongue. But there was nothing more to be gained from this.
“Ask him why we didn’t,” she got out. “I need to go.”
“Don’t think you’re getting anything from him,” Victoria said warningly. “You signed an agreement, remember. I looked it over myself. It’s ironclad.”
“Goodbye, Victoria.” Jenna walked away, shaken to the core. Why did Victoria dislike her so much? How was this her fault? It must have been easier to blame her than to accept the truth about her son. But that didn’t make it any easier to hear. She’d never been able to please the woman anyway. It was a wonder, given his mother, that Jeremy was as kind a person as he was.
* * *
Not kind enough, or strong enough, she thought now, to have lived his life honestly, until he’d been forced into it. She found herself hoping, for his sake, that he could do that now. Jeremy had inherited his father’s softer nature, his easy charm. But he’d inherited his weakness as well.
* * *
“Right,” she said as brightly as she could manage, walking into the hotel suite twenty minutes later. She’d stopped in the ladies’ toilet in the lobby to dash some water over her face and compose herself. “Who’s had a bath?”
“We both have.” Harry jumped off the couch to greet her, pulling his attention away from Animal Planet. “Daddy gave me mine. We’re hungry, though. Is it tea soon?”
“Very soon,” she assured him, dropping her purse and moving into the kitchen. “Finn, are you eating with us, or going out?”
“Not enough energy to go out, even if I wanted to,” he admitted from his own spot on the couch, muting the wildlife documentary he’d been watching with Harry. “Think I’ll sit with this ice on my knee and watch you cook, if you have enough for me. Or we could order a takeaway if you’d rather. Easy as.”
He looked searchingly at her, and she felt her chin wobble a bit as she turned hastily away.
“No, I’m good,” she told him briskly after a moment. “Venison stir-fry. Very simple. Do you want a beer?”
“I could murder a beer,” he said gratefully.
She felt better once she’d busied herself preparing quinoa and a simple meal of cubed venison and vegetables. By the time they sat down to eat, she had herself under control again.
“Can we watch a movie?” Sophie asked after dinner was over.
“May we,” Jenna corrected automatically.
“May we watch a movie? Please?”
“Your brother’s looking pretty tired,” Jenna decided. “We’ll put on a cartoon. If you’re still awake after that, you can read a bit. OK with you?” she belatedly asked Finn.
“No worries,” he said. “Sounds good to me. I’ll get them settled.”
Harry was looking decidedly droopy by the time teeth were brushed and the children tucked up in bed. “Are you sleeping in here with us, Daddy?” Sophie asked. “Or is Jenna?”
“Me,” he told her. “Reckon Jenna deserves the night to herself, anyway.”
“Want some help with the washing-up?” he asked Jenna as he shut the door on their bedroom, the sound of the cartoon fading to a murmur.
“No, thanks. Be done in a second.” She was already wiping down the benches after loading the dishwasher. “Here.” She reached into the freezer, handed him the icepack again.
“Cheers.” He sank onto the couch and put the cold pack back on his knee with a sigh. “Come have a glass of wine. You look like you need it.”
“You saw my purchase, huh?” she asked him with a wry smile. “Didn’t realize just how useful it’d be, when I bought it. Do you want some too?”
“Wouldn’t say no.”
“So now you know,” she told him as she handed him his glass of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc and settled on the other end of the couch with her own, determined to address the scene she knew must be uppermost in his mind. “Why my marriage didn’t work.”
“That would do it,” he agreed. “You didn’t know?”
“Of course I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have stayed if I had. I just thought …” She flushed. “That he had, you know, a low sex drive. Or just wasn’t that attracted to me. Stupid, I realize that now. But at the time, it made sense.”
“Why would it make sense? You’re a very attractive woman.”
“I weighed more then, for one thing,” she reminded him. “I told you that. And the longer it went on, the m
ore weight I gained. What you see now is the result of a lot of hard work. But I never felt very attractive, so it didn’t seem that strange to me, even at the beginning. ‘Low self-esteem.’” She made air quotes with her fingers, made a face. “Classic.”
“He was the same at the beginning?” he asked with surprise. “And you married him anyway?”
“He was my friend,” she tried to explain. “We had such a good time together. He was so funny, and when I was with him, I could laugh about things. All the messy stuff in my life. When I shared it with him, he made it all seem funny instead of, you know, kind of sad and sordid. We had a lot in common. Messed-up family backgrounds, being different, wanting another path for our lives. And the physical part …” She shrugged. “I never expected a man to be crazy about me that way, so I wasn’t surprised that things never … heated up. Never got much beyond snuggling. I’ve heard women say they like that better. I don’t know, though. It didn’t do much for me.”
“Never?” he frowned. “He isn’t bisexual, then?”
“Don’t hold back. Go right ahead and ask.”
“Sorry. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It was a shock to me too, though, seeing them. I’m glad I did. It explains things. Because I couldn’t imagine any man lucky enough to be married to you not wanting you.”
She turned her head in surprise to look at him more fully. “Really? You really think that?”
“Course I do. You’re sexy as hell, you love kids, you can cook … what more is there?”
She couldn’t help laughing. “I didn’t realize the list was so short. Sexy as hell, though? That’s a new one.”
“It is? Think any man—any straight man—would say that.”
“Well, I guess that’s the answer,” she said. “Turns out I haven’t hung out with any straight men.”
“None?” He looked startled. “Not even since you separated?”
Christmas Down Under: Six Sexy New Zealand & Australian Christmas Romances Page 65