The embarrassment has reached new heights now, and I’m silently cursing Gen for ever suggesting that I tell him, but I answer anyway. ‘I meant it, Tai.’
The faintest smile flickers across his face, but he doesn’t say anything.
There’s a long silence as we just stare at each other. Then curiosity gets the better of me and I ask, ‘When you kissed me . . . was that just because I was there and we were all liquored up? Or did you mean for it to happen?’
He keeps his eyes on mine. ‘I meant it.’
Tai
Juliet is quiet for a little bit, staring out at the waves.
Eventually I say, ‘You okay?’
‘Yeah. I’m freezing though.’ To prove her point, she slides her hands under my shirt, resting her palms just under my ribs, holding them there like two ice packs.
‘Right, that’s it.’ I grab her wrists and pull her icicle fingers out from under my shirt and pin her against the sand while she giggles and tries to push me off. I lean in, put my mouth right against her ear, so close my cheek brushes against hers, and whisper, ‘Do that again, and I’m sticking a dead jellyfish down your shirt.’
She laughs, wrenches one of her sandy hands free, and slides it straight back under my shirt. ‘Off you go and find one, then,’ she says, and I turn, ever so slightly, to kiss her.
On the walk home I let her wear my beanie because she’s cold, and she pulls a face when she puts it on, yanking it straight back off. ‘It’s full of sand, Tai.’
‘So are my undies, but you don’t hear me complaining.’
‘Ew.’ She runs her fingers through her hair, shaking out some of the sand.
I think about offering to let her inspect them in case she thinks I’m lying, but decide to keep my mouth shut. My little brothers would probably think it was funny, but Juliet . . . yeah, maybe not. Besides, there’s only one reason I want her hands near my undies, and it’s not to look for sand. Stop it, Tai, my brain instructs. You’re on a high from kissing her, sure, but don’t start thinking about her hands there, don’t let your imagination—
‘Tai?’ Juliet’s looking at me oddly. ‘We walked past your place three houses ago.’ She points to the light spilling out from our windows onto the street.
‘Oops. I’d better go. See you tomorrow?’
‘Tomorrow.’
Juliet
The next day at school Tai holds my hand, and the girls gleefully sing songs about us k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Gen’s only singing half-heartedly, though, and as we walk to class I ask her what’s wrong.
Her lips tighten. ‘Yesterday, after school, my olds sat me down, and they’re like, Gen, we love you . . .’
I can guess what’s coming next. ‘But we hate each other?’
‘Exactly. Divorce. They’re pretending to be civil when I’m in the room, and fighting as soon as I’m not. Over who gets the lounge suite. Fuck. Who cares? And they’re even fighting over who gets me! Genevieve, if you live with me you’ll have your own bathroom. If you pick me, I’ll let you stay out all night. If you pick me, I’ll buy you a fucking pony.’ Her voice is sarcastic but I can hear how close to tears she is.
As we enter the classroom our teacher gives us a disapproving look. ‘Ladies, you’re late.’
When he looks away I nudge Gen and mouth, ‘Get the pony.’
Poor Gen. At least both her parents want her. Dad might’ve left Mum, but he also left me, and that’s not the kind of thing you forget. He had this midlife crisis when I was ten, deciding he needed to wax his chest and buy a new car and move in with twenty-something Tina. Every couple of months he insists I go and stay overnight, but we’re all secretly relieved when the visit is over.
• • •
I find Tai waiting for me after the last bell and we catch the bus together.
‘Come over to my house?’ he asks.
‘Sure,’ I say, and he leans over to kiss me, but instead has a coughing fit.
‘Yuck!’ I push him away. ‘I thought we’d found a nicer way of germ-sharing.’
He grins. ‘Funny, Juliet.’
The second we walk through the door Mia pounces, a little green vial in her hand.
‘I saw my naturopath about your cough today,’ she says, instead of hello.
Tai groans. ‘No, Mum.’
She holds out the vial as if he hasn’t spoken. ‘Directions are on the label,’ she says cheerfully. ‘Put it somewhere that your brothers won’t get to it.’
‘As if, Mum – you couldn’t pay them to drink it. Hey, shouldn’t I get a bribe or something for taking this stuff?’
‘Nice try. Don’t you two have an assignment to do?’
We nod, and escape to Tai’s room.
‘I’m not taking it. I’m so not taking it.’ Tai looks at the little vial he’s put on his desk and pulls a face of disgust. ‘It tastes like . . . you know, I can’t even think of anything that tastes that bad. Not happening.’
‘You’re such a drama queen,’ I tease.
‘Oh yeah? Bet you can’t drink it without spewing.’
‘You’re so on. But what’s the bet?’
‘What do you want?’
‘A kiss?’
‘How about I give you one of those before you taste like that stuff?’ He smiles at me and leans in, and I’m wrapping my arms around him, pulling him close, when there’s a knock at the door.
Mia is standing in the doorway, looking amused. ‘I see,’ she says, passing Tai the textbook he’d thrown on the table when we entered the house. ‘I think you’d better do some schoolwork, you two. You can kiss after you pass your exams.’
She looks at us sternly then disappears back down the hallway. Tai picks up the vial of herbs and tips the contents out the window. ‘I’m so not taking that.’
Tai
On the weekend, Juliet and I abandon our assignments and meet up at the beach. In daylight, for once. It’s packed, but only the die-hard surfers and a handful of old guys wearing Speedos have braved the cold water.
We don’t care, though – or at least we pretend we don’t, but I catch Juliet wincing from the chill in the water as we inch our way past toddlers with buckets sitting where the waves can only just reach. I forgot that I handle the cold better than her, and once we’ve swum past the breakers, she wraps her arms around me, shivering.
‘I think I’m getting pneumonia or something. What’s that thing where you die from the cold?’
‘Hypothermia?’ I’m seriously trying not to laugh at her, but I’m failing miserably and she glares at me.
‘It’s all right for you; you’re one of those crazy people that jumps in the ocean in the middle of winter. I’m not like that. And who says, “Hey, let’s go on a date. Swimming. In winter.” Who does that?’
‘Do you want to get out, then?’
‘No, I want to stay here and complain.’ She smiles at me. ‘Warm me up, will you?’
She doesn’t have to ask twice. I press against her while treading water. ‘I watched this show on crab fishermen once,’ I tell her, holding her tighter. ‘One of them fell in, and the cold of the Arctic nearly killed him. When they hauled him out, one of the other guys ripped his gear off, and they lay there in their undies. They reckon skin-to-skin contact is the best cure for hypothermia, Juliet.’
‘Is that right?’ She does that just-for-you-Tai smile, and leans in to kiss me.
We don’t stay long in the water – she really is cold. I give her my towel and go to the fish and chip shop, where I order some hot chips and a bottle of Coke. We find a spot in the sun to eat.
‘I so can’t wait for school holidays this year,’ she says. ‘I’m trying to just relax and enjoy the moment but my brain keeps skipping over to whether or not I remembered to bring my biology textbook home, or that stupid history assignment.’ She sighs, passes me the Coke. ‘Is it like that in your head, too?’
I shrug. ‘I guess.’
‘Think about it, Tai. We’ll have, like, three months between when schoo
l ends and uni starts. Sleep-ins, the beach . . . awesome.’
‘That is if we actually get in to uni, right?’
‘Okay then, pessimistic one. Three months between graduating and when we either start uni or start flipping burgers or something. Happy?’
‘No. You forgot to mention schoolies.’ I poke out my tongue.
‘Are we still going together, or have you decided to abandon me for your mates?’
‘You wish. You’re stuck with me.’
‘What about the formal, then?’ She smiles, and it’s almost shy. ‘Are you planning on holding up your end of the deal?’
‘You mean the pinkie swear you forced me into when we were thirteen?’
She pulls a face and turns her head to watch a couple wearing matching outfits jog past, but it’s pretty obvious she’s still waiting for an answer. I pretend to think about it.
‘Maybe. Alex dared Sam to wear a dress, so who knows, I might take him instead.’
She goes to throw a chip at me, then spots a one-legged seagull pretending to look like it’s starving and pegs the chip at it, instead.
‘It’s faking, Juliet. It’s totally got the other leg tucked up in its feathers. You sucker.’
‘Hey, if a seagull can come up with a ploy that clever, it deserves the chip.’
I can’t help smiling at her, and she frowns from behind her sunglasses. She probably thinks I’m laughing at her about the seagull thing.
‘What?’ she asks impatiently.
‘Nothing.’ But I want to say ‘everything’. Everything about you. How you take pity on hapless seagulls. The freckles that spread across your shoulders, the way you fit in my arms just right, the smell of that perfume you wear. I think I’m falling for you.
Juliet
I’m about to throw something at Tai, who still looks like he wants to laugh at me, when he glances at his watch and pulls a face. ‘We need to go.’
‘I don’t want to.’ I pout. ‘Do you really have to go? Can’t we just stay here?’ I push him to the ground and pin him there by lying on top of him.
Tai groans. ‘I have to go, Juliet. It’s Sam’s birthday. His eighteenth.’
‘Oh, fine, be all logical then.’ I sit up again, hug my knees and look at the waves. Tai sits up too, and elbows me in the ribs.
‘Hey, don’t be like that. And anyway, I’ll see you at his place tonight, yeah?’
‘Yeah, I’ll be there.’ Sam’s birthday is in two parts – skirmish with a couple of mates this afternoon, then an actual party tonight. ‘Is it true his olds have hired a security guard?’
‘Dunno. They were pretty full-on about nothing being said on Facebook, though. They’re still paranoid.’
‘I’ve got no idea why. Who doesn’t want five hundred strangers puking in their linen cupboard?’
‘I know, right?’ He grins. ‘I’d better go.’
We chuck the paper from the chips in the bin, grab our towels, and walk home.
I study for a while, like I promised Mum so she’d let me go tonight, before taking a shower. When she knocks on my bedroom door half an hour later I’m still wrapped in a towel.
‘What’s wrong, honey?’ she asks.
‘I don’t know what to wear,’ I tell her. ‘I’ve got nothing to wear.’
‘Oh, I don’t know about that.’ Mum smiles.
‘It’s true, Mum. And my skin is feral – look.’ I point to a pimple on my chin that’s been lurking for ages and has finally erupted just in time for tonight. ‘And my hair is weird.’
‘I didn’t even see that pimple until you pointed it out.’
‘Yeah, right.’
‘And your hair is just dry from the salt water and because you dye it so much. Get dressed and I’ll put some of my leave-in conditioner in it.’
As she’s combing the conditioner through my hair Mum remarks in that So Not Casual But Trying To Be way, ‘You really want to look good tonight, don’t you?’
‘Yeah, I guess.’
She finishes with the conditioner and I can sense her smiling. ‘You’re beautiful, Juliet.’
‘I wish, Mum.’
‘So who’s the boy?’
‘What boy?’
‘The boy that you want to impress tonight. It’s not Mick again, is it?’
‘No, it’s not him.’
She looks at me expectantly.
‘It’s Tai,’ I admit.
‘Oh.’ It’s more surprise than anything. ‘So you and Tai, you’re . . .’
‘We’re kind of going out. But it’s new, and stuff. Don’t make a big deal out of it.’
‘I suppose I should’ve seen it coming,’ she says. ‘Do you remember when the two of you decided to get married in the first grade?’
‘No.’
‘He borrowed Mia’s wedding ring while she was in the shower – she was frantic looking for it. We found the two of you in the backyard, kissing. You’d done your own lipstick and Tai was wearing Mia’s heels.’
‘Get out.’
‘It’s true. I’ve probably got a photo somewhere. So you and Tai, huh?’
‘Yeah.’ I grab a bottle of nail polish, and start filling in the bits that have chipped away. ‘I really like him.’
• • •
Mum isn’t as weird about it as I thought she would be, which is good, I guess. I can tell she’s tempted to give me a lecture on the way to Sam’s, but she just smiles, gripping the steering wheel, and says, ‘Have a good time, Juliet.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’
There aren’t five hundred people in Sam’s backyard, but there are a lot. I find Tai in the middle of a crowd, lifting up his shirt to show off the bruises from the skirmish.
As the others drift away I wrap my hands around his neck and he kisses me. ‘You look really good tonight,’ he murmurs, fingers in my hair.
‘So do you,’ I whisper, pulling him in.
‘Get a room, you two – just not in my house.’ It’s Sam. He swaps Tai’s empty beer bottle for a full one and presses something fluoro with vodka in it into my hand.
‘Happy birthday,’ I call after him as he wanders off.
‘So apparently we got married in first grade,’ I tell Tai.
‘Really?’
‘And you were wearing your mum’s heels.’
‘What?’ Tai pulls a face at that piece of information.
‘There’s probably photographic evidence, somewhere. I could so blackmail you one day.’
Alex comes up to drag us into a drinking game. It’s one of those ones where you have to concentrate, following on from what the last person says, and if you mess up you do a shot. I can’t concentrate on the game, though, so I give up and leave them to it, and go looking for the bathroom.
Tai meets me in the hallway. ‘You okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. I just don’t want to end up throwing up on your shoes.’
‘You’re not still thinking about assignments and stuff, are you?’
‘Nah, not that.’ It’s you, Tai. The way you kissed me tonight. The fact that ever since you and I became something more, something bigger than Just Friends, it’s hard to concentrate on anything else, hard to think about anything but you.
Tai
The morning after Sam’s party, Mum corners me while I’m ransacking the bathroom drawers. It seems there was a lecture scheduled that no-one told me about.
‘What are you doing, Tai?’
‘Trying to find where you hide the Panadol. I’ve got a headache.’
‘You’re not hungover, are you?’
‘No, Mum. You always ask that.’
She opens a cabinet, reaches in, and passes me the box of Panadol. ‘So I didn’t get a chance to talk to you about this thing with you and Juliet.’
Oh god. I so don’t want to do this. ‘There’s not really a lot to talk about. It’s not really a thing.’
‘I know, and it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, but—’
‘There’s nothing to t
alk about, Mum.’
‘All I’m saying is that this is your last year of school, and you really need to make sure you’re not getting too distracted. Either of you.’
‘I won’t,’ I promise. ‘I want the uni thing too, remember?’ Unlike Juliet, who’s got no idea and will probably decide what she wants to do when she fills out the application, I’ve got it all worked out. Sam and I both want to study engineering, maybe even at the same uni. And then I’m going to go and work overseas for a few years. All I need are the marks for it.
‘Okay, Tai,’ she says, even though it sounds like she’s not quite convinced.
‘I have to go do an assignment now,’ I say, but I don’t mean it. My headache is seriously bad and I just want to sleep it off.
• • •
When I wake up the next morning my head is still pounding and I want to throw up.
Mum knocks on the door, opens it. ‘Time to get up, Tai.’
‘I can’t go to school today, Mum,’ I tell her. ‘I still have a headache.’
‘Not a very convincing reason not to go to school, Tai.’
‘Mum, I’m serious – it really hurts.’
‘Take a Panadol,’ she suggests.
‘They’re not working.’
‘Okay,’ she says doubtfully. ‘But if you do anything that makes you seem even slightly better, I’m driving you to school.’ When she leaves the room I close my eyes and try to sleep it off. The headache doesn’t go away, but I feel a bit better after I spew.
When I still haven’t got out of bed by the time my brothers get home from school Mum sends Hendrix in to poke me.
‘You’re so faking it,’ he says, face pressed up close to mine.
‘Am not.’
‘Are you hungry, Tai? You haven’t eaten all day.’ It’s Mum, from the doorway.
‘No.’
Mum frowns and comes over to feel my forehead, like I’m a little kid.
‘You’re always hungry, Tai,’ Hendrix says.
‘Yeah, well I’m not today.’
‘Can I eat your dinner?’
‘Yeah, if you want.’
‘Dessert too?’
‘Fine with me.’
Everything Left Unsaid Page 3