The memory, no more than a blip on a radar screen, disappeared. Seth blinked, stared at his brother.
The knot in Seth’s gut turned into a lump in his throat. His heart, which he swore had stopped beating, started to bang in his chest.
“Damn,” was the only word that he seemed capable of saying.
Rand grinned. “Yeah.”
In the next second, two strong men, brothers found, grabbed on to each other and slapped each other’s backs.
Though neither one would ever admit it, they both had to blink back the moisture in their eyes when they parted.
Seth struggled to hold on to his emotions. “I was just going to call you.”
“Yeah, well, I was in the neighborhood.” Then he shrugged. “I’m not the most patient guy.”
“Mom used to say you had the patience of a corn-crib rat.”
They both smiled at the silly saying as much as the shared memory.
“Never quite knew what that meant,” Rand said, shaking his head.
“Me, either.”
“I heard you’re a cop.”
“I heard you’re working with horses.”
There was a lot to catch up on, they both knew. So much to talk about.
A lifetime.
“You know about Lizzie?” Rand asked.
“Just what Henry told me. That you’ve hired a private investigator named Jacob Carver to find her.”
Rand nodded. “Shouldn’t take too long to locate her. The people who adopted her were living out of the country at the time, but we think they’ve moved somewhere on the east coast.”
“She won’t remember us.” He thought of his sister’s big blue eyes, her bright smile and infectious laugh. “She might not even want to remember us.”
“It’s a chance we’ll take,” Rand said. “Whatever she does, we have to accept and respect her decision, but at least she’ll know the truth. She deserves that much. We all deserve that.”
Rand placed a hand on Seth’s shoulder and grinned. “You up to a trip out to the ranch while we catch up? Check out the old homestead?”
Seth’s pulse quickened at the thought. Would his and Rand’s old bedroom still have blue walls? Would the screened wooden back door still squeak when it opened and closed? Would the marbles he’d hidden under a floorboard in the hall closet still be there?
It would be fun to find out, he thought, and grinned back at Rand. The house had been a simple one, he remembered, the rooms small, but his mother, his father, Rand and Lizzie, they’d all made it a home.
His life may have changed after the night his parents had died, but there were things that always stayed the same, the memories, the feelings. Even after twenty-three years, Seth knew that Rand was still his brother, not just in blood, but in spirit. Nothing could ever change that, or what they’d shared as children. And though he was certain that Lizzie wouldn’t remember him or Rand, he still hoped that somehow she might feel that bond.
Seth ate dinner at his cousin Lucas’s house that night, met his wife, Julianna and Rand’s fiancée, Grace. They all sat around a big table. Nathan and Nicole, Lucas’s three-year-old twins, blessed the food and thanked God for their new baby brother, two-week-old Robert Jonathan. They toasted Seth, then passed roast beef and mashed potatoes. The conversation never lagged. The questions were endless, the answers fascinating. It felt like family, felt like home. Felt like he belonged.
And still there was something missing.
Something didn’t feel right. Something that went beyond Lizzie not being a part of the celebration.
He knew that no matter how far he ran, or how much he lied to himself, it was something that couldn’t be denied.
He was scooping up a bite of apple pie, listening to Grace describe how Rand had single-handedly rescued a small band of horses trapped in a canyon, laughing at the embarrassment on Rand’s face, when it struck him like a two-by-four in the solar plexus.
He knew at that moment exactly what was missing. Knew exactly what didn’t feel right.
What he didn’t know, what he hadn’t figured out yet, was what he was going to do about it.
The pounding beat of Donna Summer’s disco music vibrated off the walls and shook the dining-room chandelier while fifteen little girls and boys marched around fourteen folding chairs set up in the middle of Hannah’s living room. Lori’s husband, John, directed traffic, kept the children moving around the chairs until the music stopped. Then all fifteen children screamed at once and dived for the nearest empty seat.
“You want me to scoop ice cream now?” Lori yelled over the din of excited children.
“Wait until the game is over,” Hannah yelled back. “I’ve got a table set up outside and we’ll serve everything out back. Why don’t you go help John?”
They’d already sung “Happy Birthday” and blown out candles and Hannah had sent the party guests off to play a game while she sliced the cakes—chocolate with chocolate frosting for Maddie, and white with pink frosting for Missy.
The girls had changed their minds at least a dozen times over the past week, couldn’t agree whether to have a party at the bowling alley, the miniature golf course, the park or the pizza parlor. But in the end, they’d both decided they wanted to have a Betty Ballerina party at their own house, with a sleepover for all the girls in their class. After the week they’d all had since Seth had left, Hannah would have let the girls invite the entire school, the entire town, if it would make them happy.
Her daughters had cried a week ago when they’d come home from Lori’s and he’d been gone. Hannah had explained as best she could. He had family he had to go see, a job he needed to get back to in New Mexico.
Hannah had saved her tears for the night, after the girls had gone to bed.
The only thing that had cheered the girls up, and Hannah, too, had been planning this party. They’d shopped for decorations and balloons, made invitations, made lists of games to play and bought prizes. And aside from party preparations, Hannah had taken on extra hours at the diner, cleaned out her flower beds and set out fall colors in mums and marigolds, stripped the wallpaper in the corner upstairs bedroom and bought fabric to sew curtains for the downstairs bathroom.
She’d welcomed the exhaustion that came at the end of every day. What other way to help heal a broken heart than to keep hands and mind busy?
The music stopped again, the laughter and screams vibrated through the house, then the groans of the children who’d been left standing.
That was how her life felt right now, Hannah thought as she filled the paper plates with cake. As if she’d been walking in circles, then the music had stopped and there was no place to sit.
“Everybody outside!” Hannah heard John yell when the game ended. “Who wants first swing at the piñata?”
Fifteen children screamed me! and tore out the back door like stampeding cattle. Determined to have a good time, Hannah grabbed a Betty Ballerina party tiara and stuck it on top of her head. She went into the kitchen and retrieved the ice cream out of the freezer, grabbed an ice-cream scoop from the drawer and walked back into the dining room.
She heard the whack! of the baseball bat against the pumpkin-shaped piñata John had brought over and set up, then the excited screams of the children. She wouldn’t mind taking a couple of whacks at the thing herself, she thought. Maybe it would ease a little of the tension she’d been carrying around in her neck and shoulders all week.
“Something I can help you with?”
She froze at the sound of his voice, then turned slowly, breath held.
Seth.
He stood in the dining-room entry. Clean-shaven, dressed in a black buttoned-up shirt, blue jeans and black cowboy boots. He leaned against the doorjamb, arms folded casually, a crooked smile on his lips. “Nice tiara.”
She slipped the party hat from her head while her heart slammed against her ribs. It took every ounce of willpower she possessed not to run at him, to throw herself in his arms and kiss every i
nch of that handsome, wonderful face.
If it weren’t for Maddie and Missy, she would do that. She’d make a fool out of herself, beg him to stay. But her daughters deserved better than that. She deserved better than that, Hannah thought. She didn’t want him for a day or a week. She wanted him forever, dammit. Nothing less.
She felt the anger flicker deep inside her, hadn’t even realized that it was there, that it had been there all week, brewing underneath the surface. If the girls saw him now, got their hopes up, it would be twice as hard next time he left.
She turned back to the ice cream, scooped up a ball of vanilla. “Why are you here, Seth?”
He pushed away from the doorjamb, made her stomach lurch when he took a step toward her. “I wanted to tell you about my family.”
He’d come all the way back here just to tell her about his family? Stopping by on his way back to New Mexico to chat with her before he moved on again?
Well, she didn’t want to know about his family. She didn’t want to know what had happened, or what he’d been doing. She wanted him gone. Out of her life.
Liar, liar, liar.
All right, so she did want to know, she admitted to herself. She desperately wanted to know everything, every minute, every detail.
But she kept her voice calm, her hand steady as she dropped ice cream on a plate, then scooped up another ball. “Did it go well?”
“Very well.” He took another step closer. “My brother is remodeling the house where we grew up. He’s getting married next month and asked me to be his best man.”
“Oh, Seth.” In spite of the ache in her heart, Hannah smiled. “That’s wonderful.”
“You’d like Grace, Rand’s fiancée.” Seth eyed the cakes on the table. “And Julianna, too, my cousin’s wife.”
“You have a cousin in Wolf River?”
“Lucas Blackhawk. He’s got three-year-old twins, Nathan and Nicole, and a two-week-old little boy.”
Weddings and babies and family reunions. Hannah didn’t think she could take much more of his good news without breaking into tears.
From outside, she heard the children laughing and the heavy pounding of the baseball bat on the piñata. She had ice cream to scoop, dammit. Cake to serve. Presents still to be opened.
She couldn’t fall apart now. She wouldn’t.
“I’m happy for you, Seth. Really, I am.” She practically flung the ice cream onto the plates. “I appreciate you coming by, but I think it’s best if the girls don’t see you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to the party.”
He stepped closer, looked hopefully at the table. “That cake sure looks good.”
“Seth.” She closed her eyes, sighed. “Why are you here?”
“I left something.”
She’d been through the entire house, had secretly hoped that he had left something. She’d found nothing. “What did you leave?”
“You.”
She went still at his single word.
You.
Her heart pounded furiously. When she didn’t move, didn’t look at him, he slipped the ice-cream scoop from her hand and set it on a plate, then took hold of her shoulders and turned her to face him.
“I left you behind,” he said quietly. “You and Maddie and Missy.”
“What are you saying?” She still refused to let herself hope, afraid—terrified—that the music might stop and she’d be left standing.
“I’ve missed you this past week.” His gaze held steady with hers. “I found a brother, a cousin, an entire family, but it still didn’t feel right. My life still felt as if there was a hole, an empty space.”
“Seth.” She gripped the fabric of his shirt in her hands, heard the impatience in her own voice. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying—” Seth paused, hadn’t known that he was capable of the feelings he had, the intensity and the depth “—I’m saying that I love you.”
“You—you love me?” she whispered.
“Yes.” He smiled, tugged her close and brushed her lips with his. “I love you. And I love Maddie and Missy, too. I’m saying that I want you to marry me.”
Her head came up on a soft gasp. “You want me to…marry you?”
He’d had days to think about this, hours and hours of carefully rehearsed proposals, then every word had been forgotten the moment he’d seen her standing in the dining room, wearing that silly party hat and scooping ice cream onto paper plates.
“I want you to marry me.” He touched her cheek with his fingertips, smiled at the look of complete bewilderment on her face. “Will you?”
“But you—” she shook her head “—but what about, I mean, you can’t—”
He kissed her, as much to give himself a moment as for her. He dragged her close, deepened the kiss until she melted against him and made a soft little sound in her throat.
“Tell me you love me, too, Hannah,” he murmured against her lips.
“Of course I love you.” She laid her palm on his cheek. “I’ve loved you from that first day you came crashing into my life. Our lives,” she corrected herself.
“Will you have me?” he asked. “You and Maddie and Missy?”
“But your job—”
“I quit my job. The only undercover work I want from now on is with you, in our bed.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Besides, I can get a job here. Ned and Ed are looking for a mechanic, you know.”
She narrowed a gaze at him. “You’re teasing me.”
“Only about the job. I was hoping you might teach me how to run a bed-and-breakfast.” He decided he’d tell her about the five million dollars he’d inherited later. Over a midnight bottle of champagne they could figure out together what to do with all that money. “Now hurry up and say yes before I explode.”
“Yes.” Breathless, she wrapped her arms around him. “Yes, yes. I’ll marry you.”
He pulled her close, covered her mouth with his and poured himself into the kiss, all his love, his need. They broke apart at the sound of a loud thump, then the shrill earsplitting screams of fifteen children scrambling for candy.
He touched her forehead with his, waited for his heart to settle back into a steady pace. “I can’t wait for you to meet my family. They can’t wait to meet you.”
She looked up at him in surprise. “You told them about me?”
“Why wouldn’t I tell them about the woman I love, the woman I’m going to marry?” He took her chin in his hand. “As soon as we set a date for the wedding, I’ll call my mom in Florida, too. She’s always wanted me to have a big wedding. How about the weekend before Thanksgiving?”
“Thanksgiving! But that’s—” Hannah counted in her head “—three weeks from now!”
“You’re right, that’s too long,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Let’s make it two weeks from today.”
Laughing, she threw her arms around his neck. “I can’t plan a big wedding that quickly. I’ll need a dress, flowers, the reception, invitations would have to go out.”
“We’ll call Billy Bishop,” Seth said. “He can print our invitation on the front page of the Ridgewater Gazette.”
Hannah’s eyes widened. “You want to invite the entire town?”
“Absolutely. I even want to invite Aunt Martha, if she’ll come.”
“She’ll come.” Hannah smiled up at him. “Can you believe she sent me flowers this week, and she actually apologized for her behavior?”
He lifted both brows. “Are we talking about the same aunt?”
“The only aunt I have. You’re a miracle worker, Seth Granger.”
“Actually—” he met her gaze with his “—I’m going to change my name back to Blackhawk. It’s something I need to do, Hannah. I hope it’s all right with you.”
“Mrs. Seth Blackhawk.” She touched his cheek. “I love it. I love you.”
He kissed her again, a tender, gentle press of lips, a promise of forever.
Eyes bright with moisture, Hannah
tilted her head up and looked at him. “So it won’t bother you to live here, in Ridgewater?” she asked. “Home of the world’s largest fruitcake?”
“I’d have to be the world’s largest ass to let that bother me,” he said with a grin. “My home, my life, is wherever you are, Hannah. You and the girls.”
As if on cue, Maddie and Missy came running into the house, asking where the cake was. When they saw Seth, they both shrieked and ran at him. He scooped them up, kissed each flushed cheek.
“We blew out the candles and wished you’d come back and you did!” Maddie said.
“We got our wish!” Missy threw her arms around Seth’s neck.
Smiling, he leaned toward Hannah. She met him halfway. “Me, too.” He touched his lips to hers. “Me, too.”
ISBN: 978-1-4592-0062-3
IN BLACKHAWK’S BED
Copyright © 2002 by Barbara Joel
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*Hearts of Stone
†Secrets!
In Blackhawk's Bed Page 15