by Jade Lee
He shrugged. “Can I fall further from grace?”
Yes. Yes, he had a great deal further to fall, but he had done it anyway. Ji Yue was the first to step forward, lifting the ugly ornament from his hand. “Thank you, Master of the Festival,” she said, her heart in her eyes.
One by one, the other virgins stepped forward, taking their ribbon and secreting it away. “Thank you, Master of the Festival,” they murmured, and then disappeared from the main room, their voices raised with renewed excitement.
“You have given them hope for tomorrow,” Ji Yue said when it was only the two of them left. There wasn’t even a eunuch to guard them, so far had they fallen from grace.
“I would give more,” he said as he crossed to stand before her. “I would give you-”
She pressed her hand to his mouth. She did not want to hear his words. She did not want to allow herself to hope. “Tell me truthfully, Sun Bo Tao,” she said. “For this shame, what is your punishment?”
He frowned and slowly pulled her hand from his mouth, but he did not release her fingers. “Men are never to blame,” he said softly, “even when it is completely our fault.” His eyes told her that he blamed himself for everything. For not knowing about the party, for seducing her when she had been all too willing, for everything that had passed. “I am commanded to wear this silly token, and another will speak in my stead at the marriage festival.”
So no real punishment. “And afterward?”
He looked down at their intertwined hands. “The position of my choice. I told him I must have an official place of power in his government or I would leave.”
She looked up at him, truly pleased. “That is excellent news! Then you can have your own home and take a wife and…” Her voice trailed away. She did not like to think of him taking a wife other than her.
“I would still give it up for you,” he said. “We can still run.”
She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to rush into his arms. “How would we live?” she asked. “What would you do?” There were no jobs in China for a disgraced man. And that was assuming they were not caught and killed for their audacity.
Bo Tao shrugged. “I could learn something new. Ji Yue, it is not impossible to begin again. There is a very large world outside of China.”
“But your whole life has been here. You were born to stand by the emperor’s side.” Before he could dismiss her objection, she rushed ahead to her next point. “Have you ever been poor?”
“My family is not wealthy, Ji Yue.”
“But you grew up here, running with the future Son of Heaven. Have you ever wanted for rice in your bowl?”
“I do not care.”
“You will,” she returned.
“No, Ji Yue, I won’t. Not if you are by my side.”
She wanted to believe him. She did believe him. But he belonged in the Forbidden City helping the emperor direct China. She would not let him throw his entire life away just for her. “I care,” she said. “I will not run.”
He grimaced and made a sound of disgust. “You women are taught sacrifice from the cradle. You are here to serve men, to devote yourself to honor and care for us.” He abruptly gripped her arms and roughly hauled her forward. His eyes burned like fire and she gasped in stunned shock. “Even you,” he rasped, “with all your intelligence and your fire, you do not think that I need you, Ji Yue. That without you, I will-” he swallowed “-I will be hollow.” Then he crushed her mouth to his, kissing her more boldly and passionately than ever before. She melted against him. How she ached for the dream that he offered!
Then he released her. The separation was as abrupt as the kiss, and she swayed on her feet. She wished he would steady her. She wanted to be in his arms again. But he held himself apart, and she was forced to balance herself while his attitude shifted to one of bitter cold.
“Bo Tao-”
“Take these, Ji Yue,” he said.
She looked down and saw that he held out two carved jade combs. The one was a dragon coiling in exquisite majesty. The other was a tigress, regal and fierce. Male dragon, female tigress-symbols as old as China -and he was giving them to her. “Why?”
“They were my aunt’s. She wore them when she was selected by the last emperor, so she believed them to be lucky. According to her, when the two are separate like this, then the wearer still searches for her true heart. If a man were to steal the dragon from you-” He plucked the dragon comb away from her fingers. “Then he has taken your heart and you belong to him.”
Her eyes watered at the sight of him holding the dragon comb tucked against his chest.
“But if you wear them linked like this,” he continued, “then you have already found your heart.” He reached out and carefully joined the two combs. The mechanism was subtle and intricate, but when he was done, she saw a dragon and tigress locked together in…
She smiled. “That is not an appropriate comb for a virgin.”
He shrugged, but his eyes remained serious. “Tomorrow morning the virgins will assemble. They will be placed throughout the gardens and the walkways of the Forbidden City.”
“I know.”
“The emperor will walk among you and choose one to be his empress, four more to be his primary wives, and the rest will be separated into the middle and lower harems.”
She nodded. “Yes, I know.”
He pressed the linked combs into her hands. “Wear this comb like this, and the emperor will know your heart is given to another.” He took a breath as he carefully separated the two pieces. “Wear them apart and…”
She lifted her head. “And what?”
“And I believe he will select you as his empress.”
“What?” she gasped. The shock of his statement set her heart to clamoring in her throat.
His lips twisted into a rueful grimace. “Do you not understand why I was made master of the festival? Do you not know my strengths even now?”
She knew his intelligence and his compassion. She knew his fierce passion for his country and his virility as a man. “Which strength?” she laughed. “There are so many.”
He flashed a smile at her, but then it disappeared. “Yi Zhen set me the task of finding the most perfect of the virgins, the smartest and the most wholesome.” He released a short breath. “He wanted me to find the best woman to be empress. And I found her.”
“Me?” she breathed.
“You.”
She shook her head, the whole conversation overwhelming. “But will he listen to you? He would pick me as his empress?”
“I believe so, yes. If you leave the combs apart, he will know that you offer yourself to him and to China.”
She swallowed. It was an awesome destiny and the very dream she had set for herself when she’d first learned of the festival. “And if I link the combs, Bo Tao, what then? What is to happen to me then?” She searched his face for the truth, but saw only uncertainty.
“I cannot say, Ji Yue. I have asked for a boon. I have pleaded for my wishes, but…” He paused as he looked down at their joined hands.
“Was he terribly angry with you?” she whispered.
He released a short laugh. “It is a terrible thing to steal a woman from your best friend.”
“Especially if that man is the emperor of China.”
“Exactly so.”
There was a noise in the hallway. Two girls chattering with an excitement that had not been present in the palace since the tainted virgins arrived. Bo Tao sent her a desperate look, then stepped away from her. She was left holding the two combs-one in each hand.
“I cannot promise anything, Ji Yue. I can only hope.”
She would have said something then, except she did not know how to respond. And then their time together was lost. The girls came around the corner, gasping in surprise when they saw the disgraced master still standing there.
Bo Tao arched his brow at them, silently daring them to question his presence. They flushed bright red, then scurried away. Bo Tao looked at
her, but she shook her head. He could not risk speaking plainly again. Where one virgin lurked, whispering and giggling in gossip, a dozen more were sure to follow.
He understood her message and knew it to be true. So he gave her the deepest bow she had ever received, then turned and walked away.
20
JI YUE’S FEET ACHED, her back had tightened into a knot of anxiety and her head felt as if it weighed a ton. She stood in the back of the Festival Garden, waiting with all the other virgins for the emperor to wander by and make his selection. If only she could move a little, wander the gardens and ease the aches in her body, but she was too terrified to move.
She was being ridiculous, she knew. Only an idiot would believe that the emperor would miss her just because she took a step or two in a different direction. But she had been told to stand here, that the emperor would wander through eventually, and so here she stood. At least she had a position where she could see some of the path. Li Fei fidgeted just a little ahead of her around a curve, but Ji Yue had been placed here-no doubt by the dowager consort-in the furthest reaches of the garden. The shrew probably hoped that the emperor would select his primary harem long before he made it to her.
Fortunately, Ji Yue had Bo Tao’s assurance that the emperor would find her and that he planned on selecting her as empress. She fretted because she didn’t know what she would tell the emperor when he finally did wander back here to talk. She held her two combs in her hands, alternately linking them together and snapping them apart. If she wasn’t careful, she’d soon break the delicate mechanism.
Linked combs meant her heart was already given to someone else, to Bo Tao. Separate combs said she wanted desperately for the emperor to select her. A fairly simple choice, really: become an empress or a woman on the run with a disgraced husband.
But even with such clear choice, she didn’t know what to do. A night’s tormented sleep had shown her just how much she loved Bo Tao. She longed to see his face, to touch his cheek, to feel his arms tenderly tuck her close to his side. She loved everything about him and would willingly give her life if it somehow saved him.
Unfortunately, the only way she could “save” him would be to not marry him. Without her, he still had a political career. Even if the emperor forgave Bo Tao for seducing an imperial virgin, he was not likely to reward such behavior. He certainly wouldn’t want Bo Tao around. But if Ji Yue chose the emperor, then Bo Tao would get the political position of his choice. With that, he could marry, have children and still live the life he was born to lead.
Meanwhile, she had been raised from birth to be a political wife. She had watched her mother guide her father’s career. A smart woman could do much even from behind the women’s screen. Ji Yue could be an enormous asset to any man, but the emperor himself? That was the kind of influence that was her mother’s dream. Up until a few days ago, that had been her own dream, as well. But then Bo Tao had slipped into her palanquin and everything had changed.
She stared at the linked combs in her hands and forced herself to break them apart. Every shred of reason she possessed screamed that she should become the empress. The best way to help the man she loved was to give him up. The best thing for her family was to become empress. And the best way for her to do the work she wanted-to help a great husband in a political career-would be to humbly accept her role as empress of China. She had to marry the emperor. She wanted to marry the emperor.
Except, of course, she did not. She wanted Bo Tao. And the next time she looked down at her hands, the combs were once again linked. No matter what logic said, clearly her heart wanted Bo Tao.
She had just forced herself to separate the combs-again-when she heard a rustle ahead on the path. Was it the emperor? Or were the virgins getting tired and moving around? It was so hard to see! Then she heard voices. A man’s voice, but it could be a eunuch. A female giggle-definitely a virgin’s, given how nervous it sounded-and then more rustling. The anxiety was killing her!
She heard a voice. The dowager consort! “There’s nothing interesting back there,” she said, probably to her son. “The other girls are up here.”
The pronouncement was seconded by the head eunuch. Then there was much bustling and movement while Ji Yue looked down in defeat. It didn’t matter if she linked or unlinked her combs. The emperor would never be given the chance to wander back here. His mother was head of the women in the Forbidden City and-
“You must be Chen Ji Yue.”
Ji Yue started, looking up in shock as the emperor sauntered down the path. She’d thought…well, it didn’t matter what she thought, since he was here now! She sank low, starting her kowtow, but he reached out and stopped her.
“Yes, yes, but let me see your face,” he said. He physically pulled her upright, scanning her face as if trying to place her in his memory. Meanwhile, she looked from his hand on her arm, up his impressive imperial tunic and finally to his rather ordinary face. Was this man to be her husband? This man trailed by his mother and a score of eunuchs? This man who did not give her shivers or make her heart lurch in her chest? And would she always, always compare him to Bo Tao?
Meanwhile the emperor had ceased studying her face to look down at the combs in her hand. Unfortunately, she had been in the process of linking them. Or unlinking them. She didn’t even remember now! They were half-intertwined and that was no clear message at all.
“You seem to have dropped your combs, Chen Ji Yue.”
Had he emphasized two combs? Not one? “Yes,” she murmured, beginning to hold them up for his inspection. Separate them! Become the empress! she ordered her hands. She began to do it, but then paused, finding a boldness that came from irritation. Second-guessing herself was getting her nowhere. She needed to ask exactly what she wanted to know. So she did.
“Do you remember me, Emperor?”
He smiled in a vague way. “Of course, of course. Your beauty makes an impression.”
She arched her brows at him. “That and what I said at the celebration.”
He frowned and then his expression abruptly cleared as memory sparked. “Oh, yes. About peasants and servants. That impressed Bo Tao.” But obviously not the emperor. His gaze wandered across the gardens to the girls stretching and contorting themselves around corners to catch his eye. “I suppose whatever it takes to distinguish one of you from the other. And you must be well able to manage servants. A valuable asset in an empress.”
He reached for her comb to take the dragon piece from her. This was the moment. If she let him take it from her, then she would become an empress and spend her life…doing what? Managing his servants. He had no appreciation of the skills she brought to his side. He would never allow her to hide in the shadows of the women’s screen to take notes. Neither would he bring his cares to her at night to help him sort through one difficult problem or another.
The emperor was a man who relied not on his wives, but on his assistants. On men like Bo Tao, who would recommend policy and select his wives. It would be a near impossible task to get him to see her as anything but a baby-making vessel. And what a miserable life that would be!
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be that kind of woman to him. So with tears of regret in her eyes, she pulled the combs away from the emperor. “I am so clumsy with this,” she said as she quickly linked them together. “They are supposed to be one comb, and they go-”
“No, Chen Ji Yue,” he interrupted, his expression hard. “No, they are two combs, and I believe this one is mine.”
She stared at him in shock as he forced the linked combs out of her hands. With a quick twist, he released the catch, then dropped the dragon comb into an inside pocket. The tigress comb was offered back to her.
“B-but, Emperor,” she stammered. Then she lifted her chin and pointed. “Did you see Li Fei? She will do everything you want. And she will never talk to you of…of servants or peasants. Ever.”
He craned his neck a bit to see where she pointed. “Hmm,” he murmured. “Li Fei?”
She nodded, and as she watched, he waved a negligent hand at a eunuch then started moving on. Ji Yue wanted to follow him. She wanted to run after the man and demand her comb back. How could he just take it? And now Bo Tao would think that she had selected power over him, that she wanted the emperor of China over him. And it just wasn’t true!
But it was too late. As soon as the emperor moved on, scores of eunuchs scurried directly behind. Between one breath and the next, she was completely cut off. And now the emperor had her comb! If Bo Tao was right, she was about to become the next empress of China, but it wasn’t the choice she wanted!
She stood there helplessly watching the backs of all the people who trailed her future husband. But he was already gone, well beyond her reach or influence.
She began to cry.
THE SELECTION WAS COMPLETE. All the virgins were assembled in the main palace to hear the results. The virgins would be separated, the newest empress revered.
Ji Yue waited, her heart skipping and tripping inside her chest. One moment she was elated at the idea of taking her place beside the emperor of China. The next she craned her neck to see Bo Tao, to silently tell him that this was not her choice, that she had chosen him. But as a disgraced master of the festival, he was nowhere to be found.
She remembered how little use she would be as empress: watched on every side, in constant battle with the dowager consort and completely ignored by her husband. At that moment her mood crashed downward in despair. Why had she ever wanted such a ridiculous thing? This was insane!
But then the excitement of the moment, the ceremony and the majesty of the palace filtered into her thoughts again, and her spirit quivered in excitement. Empress of China! Her mother would be so excited! Her brothers and father would have no need to worry ever again!
The moment of glory was at hand. The new master of the festival stood before the Dragon Throne, a scroll in his hands, and he began to call their names. This girl-middle harem. Hua Si, her evil roommate-lowest harem. Li Fei-favored concubine. Li Fei was one of the four favored women! Ji Yue was happy; she looked forward to having a friend so close to her.