by Adele Abbott
“No, we can’t. I’m looking forward to seeing the paranormal activity meter in action. I missed out on it when we were at PAW because of you.”
“I’m so sorry for almost choking to death.”
I tried a couple more times to persuade Jack that we should cancel on the Rollos, but I was wasting my breath. At seven o’ clock, dead on time, Mrs Rollo and Marco appeared on our doorstep.
Mrs Rollo came into the kitchen while I was making drinks for everyone.
“I should have brought some cake with me,” she said. “Shall I go back and get some?”
“No!” I said much too quickly. “I mean, there’s really no need. I have lots of biscuits.” I opened the cupboard door.
“Custard creams? They’re Marco’s favourites.” She’d spotted the packet I’d tried to hide behind the others.
“His favourites? Great.”
“Right then.” Marco was in charge of the meter. “Let’s see if there’s any paranormal activity in this house.”
“Go for it!” Jack said.
Marco threw the switch, and immediately the machine began to make a buzzing sound.
“It’s detected something.” Marco pointed to the various dials on the front of the machine. “Whatever it is must be very close. Maybe even in this room.”
Just then, the buzzing got even louder, and the arrows on the dials began to dance around.
“Wait! There’s something coming from the kitchen now.” He picked up the meter and led the way into the kitchen where my mother’s ghost was seated at the table—visible only to me, of course. She gave me a thumbs up.
The buzzing grew even louder, and the dials began to go crazy.
“There’s something upstairs!” Marco rushed for the stairs followed closely by Jack and Mrs Rollo.
When I joined them on the landing, Marco was beside himself with excitement.
“They’re everywhere!” he yelled. “In here.” He pushed open the door to the master bedroom. “And in here.” He tried to open the spare bedroom door.
It would only open a few inches, but it was wide enough for me to see a grinning Priscilla. Meanwhile, the colonel popped his head out of the master bedroom.
“Are you sure this thing works?” Jack said. “There can’t possibly be paranormal creatures in every room.”
“Look at the dials.” Marco pointed.
“I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s a fake,” I said.
“I think she’s right, Marco.” Mrs Rollo nodded.
Marco looked disappointed, but was forced to concede that it was unlikely there would be so much paranormal activity in one house.
“So, do you still believe in all this nonsense?” I asked Jack, after the Rollos had gone home.
“Yes, but I’m not so sure about that meter. I think if we had paranormal creatures in every room, I’d know about it.”
Thank you, Daze. That was a brilliant idea!
Chapter 19
I can’t tell you how good it felt to have hot water for a shower the next morning. It had almost been worth putting up with Walt and his ear-piercing whistle.
“I’ve been thinking,” Jack said over breakfast.
“Steady on. Is that a good idea?”
“We should have tried that meter back at the Rollo’s house to see if it gave a false reading in there too.”
“What good would that have done?”
“It would have proven if it was faulty, or if our house is full of paranormal creatures.”
“Don’t you think we might have noticed something if the house was full of ghosts?”
“I think I’ll mention it to Greg when I go to the next PAW meeting. I’d be interested to get his take on it.”
“You’re serious about going, then? I thought you were joking.”
“Deadly serious. I find all this stuff fascinating. I’m surprised you don’t.”
“I’ve got better things to do with my time than to chase after imaginary ghosts.”
“What would it take to make you believe?”
“More than a machine with lots of dials and a buzzer.”
“What if you actually saw a ghost? What then?”
At that precise moment, my mother’s ghost appeared behind Jack. She grinned, and waved at me. If she hadn’t already been dead, I would have killed her.
“Well?” Jack pressed. “If you actually saw a ghost, would you believe then?”
“Yes, I suppose so, but it’s never going to happen.”
“We’ll see.” Jack seemed pleased with that concession. “I’d better get going.” He gave me a toasty kiss.
“What are you playing at, Mum?” I yelled, as soon as Jack was out of the front door.
“Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”
“It’s hard enough trying to maintain my cover without you making it more difficult.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I take it from what I overheard that Jack has developed an interest in the paranormal?”
“An unhealthy interest. He’s even talking about going to PAW meetings.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. Most of that crowd don’t have a clue.”
“Most?”
“There are a couple there who are borderline parahumans, but of course they have no idea they are. They could probably sense when a ghost is close by.”
“What about a witch?”
“Possibly.”
“Great.”
***
I’d promised to give Archie Bald an update, so I magicked myself over to Candlefield, and met with him at his house—he hadn’t wanted to meet at the factory.
“Lovely home you have here, Archie.”
“Thanks, but I can’t take any of the credit. Bunty picked it out, and she did all the interior design herself. She was sorry she couldn’t be here to meet you—she’s a big fan.
“Really?”
“Oh yes. She was rooting for you at the Levels Competition. She was absolutely livid when the judges disqualified you. We were seated in the bleachers, directly in the path of the dragon that got loose. If you hadn’t stopped it, I’m not sure I would have been here to talk to you today. Bunty’s at her bridge club, but she asked me to say ‘hello’ for her.”
“I’m afraid I’m not making much progress with the issue you’re having, Archie.”
“That’s really disappointing.” He sighed. “Although, not altogether surprising.”
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that none of this makes any sense. The machines appear to be in perfect condition when they’re packaged in your QC department, and yet when they’re delivered to the customer, still sealed, they appear to have been damaged. I’m struggling to see how or where that damage occurs.”
“This is a disaster, Jill.”
“Don’t despair, yet. There’s something else I’d like to try.”
“Anything.”
“I’d like to install a hidden camera in the QC department.”
“Do you think it will do any good? Jimmy told me you picked a few machines at random, and they were all okay.”
“That’s true. I did. Even so, if I could monitor that department around the clock for a couple of days, then maybe I’ll see something. I think it’s worth a try.”
“Anything is worth a try at this stage. When do you want to install the camera?”
“It will have to be when the factory is empty, obviously. If you could let me have a key, I’ll do it tonight.”
***
When I arrived back at the office, there was a man waiting for me. I could sense he was a wizard.
“I told this gentleman I didn’t know when or if you’d be back, Jill,” Jules said. “But he said he wanted to wait.”
“Mr?” I approached the man.
“Panny.” He stood up. “Please call me Tim.”
“Would you like to come through to my office?”
Winky was still sulking.
“How can I help you, Tim?”
“I came to
you because I knew you were a witch. This isn’t something I could have taken to the police or to a human P.I.”
“Okay?”
“I work as a freelance cameraman. Most of my work is in London or abroad. I’ve never been to Washbridge before. I’m working on ‘Zombie Apocalypse’, which is being shot up here.”
“I read about that in the local paper.”
“It’s pretty much your average zombie movie. Lots of walking dead running after hapless humans. It’s a good gig for me. At least, it was until I realised what was going on.” He hesitated. “I suppose that you normally charge people for your services?”
“That’s the general idea.”
“I thought as much. I can’t pay.”
I had a bad habit of attracting non-paying clients.
He continued, “The thing is, I’m worried about what’s going to happen if something isn’t done, and I didn’t know who to turn to.”
“Why don’t you tell me all about it?”
“Okay. I’ve worked on similar movies to this before. Zombies are very popular at the moment.”
Not with me.
“Usually, one of the first things to happen on this kind of movie, is that they recruit a load of extras to be the zombies. That didn’t happen.”
“How come?”
“Because they’re using real ones.”
“Real zombies?”
“Yeah. The people behind the movie are wizards. From what I can make out, they’ve paid a gang of body snatchers to get them. It’s costing much less than paying extras every day.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Very. It’s not too bad while they’re restricted to the set. They can control them there—although they have to be careful not to let the actors get too close to them. What worries me is if they get out into the general population. That would not be good.”
“No kidding.” Z-Watch were not equipped to deal with an army of zombies. Before you knew it, they could have turned or killed half of the population of Washbridge. “What are they thinking? They must know how dangerous this is.”
“Of course they know, but they don’t care. The only thing they’re interested in is the bottom line, and this is going to save them a fortune.”
“Okay. Leave it with me. I’ll sort this.”
“Really? I can’t pay you.”
“I know, but I can’t sit back and wait for a real zombie apocalypse, can I?”
Now I knew why Monica and Lester had been having so many problems with body snatchers. The bodies were being taken to the movie set where they were being used as zombies. I had to find a way to stop it.
I made a call.
“Aunt Lucy? It’s urgent that I get hold of Monica. Can you contact her through Lester?”
“What do you want her for, Jill?”
“There isn’t time to go into detail, but it’s a matter of life and death.”
“Okay, I’m on it.”
***
Despite the looming zombie crisis, I still had to work on the skydiving case. Dale Thomas’s brother, Philip, had been conspicuously absent from the funeral. He’d also refused several requests to speak to me. Further requests would have been futile, so I door-stepped him on his way out.
“Philip Thomas?”
“Yes?”
“Could I have a quick word?”
“About what? Who are you?”
“Jill Gooder. I—”
“You’re the one who keeps calling me, aren’t you? I’ve already told you that I have nothing to say to you.”
I positioned myself between him and his car. He was going to have to go through me.
“This will only take a moment. Don’t you want to find out what really happened to your brother?”
“I know what happened. He blacked out, and fell to his death.”
“But what if he didn’t?”
“Do you have any proof that he didn’t?”
“Not yet, but I’m working on it.”
“Do you really believe that someone might have killed Dale?”
“I haven’t ruled it out.”
He took a step back. “Okay, but this had better be quick. There’s somewhere I need to be.”
“You weren’t at your brother’s funeral.”
“So?”
“The rift between you must have run very deep?”
“Do you think I killed him?”
“No, I’m just trying to get a complete picture of his life.”
“Our mother died six years ago. It wasn’t pretty at the end. She was in this truly awful care home. I didn’t have the money to do anything about it, but Dale did. He wouldn’t put his hand in his pocket, so Mum was stuck there until she died. I can never forgive him for that.”
“Was he always—err—careful with his money?”
“Careful? Tight-fisted, more like. Yeah, but he got much worse after he married Lesley.”
“You’re not a fan?”
“I never was. I tried to warn him off her. I told him she was a tramp, but he wouldn’t listen. I was proven right though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw her with that business partner of his.”
“Robert Lane?”
“Yeah. They were being a lot more than friendly.”
“Did you tell Dale?”
“Why should I after what he did to Mum? He’d made his bed, he could lie in it as far as I was concerned.”
“When did you see them together?”
“A couple of months before he died. I was over in West Chipping. I saw them in a pub, laughing and chatting.”
“Could they have just been friends out together?”
“No. They were all over each other. I was going to confront them, but then thought better of it. It was nothing to do with me, and no more than Dale deserved.”
***
I hadn’t long since left Philip Thomas when my phone rang. It was Monica.
“Jill? Lucy said you wanted to speak to me?”
“Where are you?”
“I’m with Lester in Washbridge. What’s this all about?”
“Can you both get to Coffee Triangle straight away?”
“We’re on duty at the moment. Can’t you tell me over the phone?”
“It’s better we talk face-to-face. It’s about the body snatchers.”
“Okay. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
Fifteen minutes later, the three of us were seated in Coffee Triangle. Monica and Lester hadn’t bothered with anything to eat or drink. I’d got a strawberry muffin (they were out of blueberry), and a latte.
“What do you know about the body snatchers, Jill?” Monica said.
I told them everything I knew about the movie, and the unconventional way they had recruited their zombies.
“They must be insane!” Monica could barely contain her anger. “Don’t they realise how dangerous it could be?”
“I doubt they care. They’re only interested in the money it will save them. What bothers me—apart from the potential for a mass invasion by zombies—is the poor souls who have been ‘snatched’. They should be on their way to Ghost Town or beyond. Not trapped in this world as an extra on a zombie movie. An unpaid extra, at that.”
“There may still be time to save them,” Monica said.
“How?” I sensed a glimmer of hope.
“Provided they haven’t been zombies for more than a month, we can turn them back with Anti-Z formula. The problem is that there are so many of them. How will we ever get to them all?”
“You organise the Anti-Z formula, and I’ll do the rest.”
Chapter 20
The previous night, when I’d got back from installing a camera to monitor the QC department at Elf Washing Machines, Jack had already been tucked up in bed, fast asleep.
I hadn’t bothered with any of those fancy miniature cameras—they were too expensive. Instead, I’d used a cheaper one, but hidden it using the ‘hide’ spell.
By the time I crawled out of bed the next morning, Jack was long gone. Still, he had left me a love note.
Jill, we’re nearly out of toilet paper.
That boy knew how to charm a lady.
It was eight o’ clock, and I didn’t have time for any breakfast because I’d arranged to meet Monica and Lester at nine. She had phoned late the previous evening to confirm that she’d managed to get her hands on a bumper supply of the Anti-Z formula.
“I don’t see how we’re going to do this,” Monica said when the three of us met in front of my office building. “There must be at least a hundred of them, judging by the figures that we know went missing. You don’t expect them to stand in line while we inject them, do you? They’ll tear us apart.”
“Don’t worry. We have a plan.” I sounded much more confident than I felt.
I had talked to Daze the night before, to bring her up to speed with the problem. She said she’d come up with something by the morning. I just prayed that she had.
“What are we waiting for?” Monica was clearly getting jittery. I couldn’t blame her.
I glanced down the street. “That’s what we’re waiting for!”
A flatbed lorry and a small van were heading towards us, and unless I missed my guess, I knew who would be at the wheel.
“Morning, Jill.” Daze was driving the lorry. Blaze was driving the van.
“Morning, Daze. Is that going to work?” I pointed to the equipment mounted on the flatbed.
“It will have to. It was all I could come up with at such short notice. Jump in next to me, and get the others to join Blaze.”
Monica looked even more worried now, but she and Lester climbed into the cab of the van, alongside Blaze.
“Where are we going?” Daze asked.
I told her where I’d arranged to meet Tim Panny.
If I thought Monica had looked worried, it was nothing compared to how Tim looked when we picked him up.
“What’s with all the stuff on the back?” He climbed into the cab alongside me.
“You’ll see.” Daze didn’t bother to introduce herself. “Where exactly are we going?”