He shoved Brenden, jarring him enough to make Brenden fight back involuntarily. His arm came up, blocking and throwing aside Devlin’s arm.
“Not quite what I wanted there, Beege. Get your ass out of that bed, now!” Devlin yelled.
Tabitha winced every time Devlin yelled, but she knew that if anyone knew how to get to her father, it was Devlin.
Brenden’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you have some needle to cozy up to?” he growled.
“Nah, not doing needles man, too much evidence,” Devlin said, his own eyes narrowing. “Now get the fuck up.”
“Go away, Dev,” Brenden said simply.
“Right, sure, no problem, as soon as you get your lazy ass up out of that bed, I’ll go away,” Devlin said, his tone sneering.
Devlin’s eyes shifted to Tabitha then, apologizing for what he was about to say.
“Or are you going to let some dumb cunt get the better of you again? Wait, this is the same one that fucked you over before, right? Don’t learn too fast do ya, you stupid limey.”
In a flash, Brenden was up and throwing a punch that threw Devlin three feet, and up against the wall. He sunk to the floor.
“Daddy!” Tabitha screamed.
“Whoa, whoa!” Devlin yelled, holding up his hands as Brenden came at him.
“What the fuck do you know?” Brenden yelled. “What the fuck would you know about loving anyone? You’ve never fucking loved anything but your guitars, you stupid fucking kid, you don’t know anything!”
Devlin looked back at Brenden as he slowly got to his feet, his hand massaging the already darkening bruise at his jaw. He could taste his own blood too, Brenden could definitely hit. But Devlin could see Brenden was already losing his fight again.
“Tabbie, call the doctor,” Devlin told her.
She nodded, still terrified at what she’d just seen, but reached over to pick up the phone.
Brenden sat down on the bed, looking defeated again.
“She’s gone, Dev …” he said, his tone dead.
“I know, man, I know,” Devlin said, moving to kneel in front of his friend, “and we’ll get through it, okay?”
Brenden looked at Devlin, his eyes so sad it hurt Devlin to see it.
“I’m sorry,” Brenden said, seeing the mark he’d left on Devlin.
“S’okay,” Devlin said, wincing as he grinned. “Good to see you still got it in ya.”
Brenden didn’t even crack a smile. Devlin glanced at Tabitha who had just hung up the phone.
“He’ll be over right away,” she told Devlin.
She climbed onto the bed and hugged her father from behind.
“I love you, Daddy,” she said softly. “Please stay here with me.”
Brenden’s eyes closed at her plea. His hand reached up to touch her arms that encircled his shoulders.
The doctor came and made sure that Brenden was well on his way to recovery. He gave him a few shots, and gave Tabitha enough meds to make sure that Brenden didn’t slip back into his depression. Tabitha knocked on the door to the guest room, and Devlin told her to come in. She walked in, seeing him sitting on the bed.
“How is he?” Devlin asked.
“He’s okay,” Tabitha said, looking down at him, “the doctor says this was a bad one though.”
Devlin nodded, knowing that already. It had taken a lot to get Brenden to respond this time. Tabitha sat down on the bed, facing him, her eyes going to the almost-black bruise on his jaw.
“Does it hurt a lot?” she asked softly.
“Not as much as my head does right now,” he said quietly.
“Are you okay?” she asked, seeing that he was holding his head as still as he could.
He smiled wanly. “This is what we call withdrawal, honey.”
“Oh, Dev …”
“It’ll be okay,” he assured her. “I’ve got some experience with this.”
“Some?”
“Years’ worth,” he said.
“What happens?” she asked curiously.
She’d always been kept away from her father when he was going through withdrawals. There had been a couple of times, when she was younger, when she had been sure she’d heard her father screaming at the top of his lungs. Everyone had told her that she was just imagining it.
“It ain’t pretty, honey,” Devlin assured her.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” she asked.
“It’s not fun,” he told her.
“Can I help you?” she asked, feeling responsible suddenly.
He shook his head, wincing at the movement. “I need to do this alone,” he said.
“But Dev,” she began.
“Tabbie, please?” he said, his tone a desperate whisper. “Let me spare you one more reality right now, okay?”
Tears sprang to her eyes at what he said. She knew he was doing his very best not to let her see how much pain he was in. She got up and reached out to touch his cheek, her eyes showing her sympathy.
“Go, babe,” he said quietly.
She nodded, then walked out quietly closing the door.
When she woke the next morning, she wandered down the hallway to check on her father. He was sleeping peacefully still. She walked down farther to the room Devlin was in. She glanced into the room and saw that he was out of bed. She stepped into the room and heard the most horrible retching. She listened, wincing at the sound of it. It sounded like he was dying. In between the sounds of retching she could hear him gasping in pain. When the sounds finally quieted, she meekly walked to the bathroom doorway. Devlin was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees. He looked absolutely gray.
“Get out, Tabitha,” he told her, his tone low, but definitely not one to argue with.
She hesitated.
“Get out!” he roared.
She jumped at the sound, and ran from the room. She’d never heard him yell like that before. Just as she closed the bedroom door, she heard him throwing up again. She knew that yelling had caused him to throw up again, and she felt bad that she’d caused that. So she stayed away from him for the next twenty-four hours.
The following morning she once again checked on her father. He was sitting up, but still looking pretty shell-shocked. They talked for a few minutes, but it was obvious he wasn’t up for conversation. She was just happy to see him looking a lot less comatose.
Next, she padded down to the guest room. She stopped and listened at the door for a moment, then opened it quietly. She heard music playing and, looking to the bed, saw Devlin sitting up against the headboard. It was still half-dark in the room, but she could see he looked better.
“Devlin?” she called softly.
He looked at her, and she held up the bottle of water she’d brought for him. She was sure with as much as he’d thrown up he would be dehydrated. There was a moment’s hesitation and then he held out his hand. She walked over and handed him the bottle. He took it gratefully and drained half its contents.
“Thank you,” he said, nodding. “I needed that.”
“I thought you might,” she said, grimacing at the thought.
“Tab,” he said gently, reaching out to her.
She sat down next to him on the bed, looking at him.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he told her.
She shook her head. “I heard what it did to you, so don’t apologize.”
He made a sound somewhere between a groan and a chuckle.
Her eyes searched his face. “Are you okay now?”
He shrugged, nodding. “For the most part, yeah,” he said.
“For the most part?”
“I’ll still have the shakes for a few days,” he said, holding his hand up. It shook with a mild tremor. “But so long as I don’t have to perform brain surgery, I’ll be okay,” he said, winking at her.
She laughed softly, amazed at how easily he could take what he’d just gone through. It occurred to her then he was used to it.
“You’ve done this a lot, haven’t you?” she a
sked, voicing her thoughts.
He looked back at her for a long moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I have.”
She looked pained. “Is it always this bad?”
He thought about it then shrugged. “It’s never good, but it’s not always as bad as this. I’ve been binging for a while now.”
Again, she grimaced, not liking to hear him talk like he was, but knowing that it was reality.
“And you went through that constantly for me, didn’t you?” she said, her eyes searching his. “The withdrawals.”
He didn’t answer at first, then nodded. “For you and for Beege, yeah, but I wanted to, Tab,” he told her gently.
She shook her head. “I just don’t know how you did it, Devlin, going through that so often. I mean, people spend months in hospitals getting off drugs …”
He grinned. “I didn’t have the luxury of months, babe, when you have to come down, there’s an easy way and a hard way.”
“And you always did it the hard way, didn’t you?” she said, her look pained again.
He nodded. “Yeah, but,” he said, grinning, “at least I know I can do it, right? In the event of a real emergency, give me two days and I’m good to go,” he said, winking at her.
“Stop it!” she said, giving him a narrowed look. “Don’t make light of what you’ve done, Devlin. Not many people could do it, and still more wouldn’t do it for someone else even if they could.” She put her hand to his cheek, looking into his eyes. “Thank you for being here for me again. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
He looked back at her, then took her hand from his cheek and pulled her into a hug. She settled against him, much as she always had for years.
“You’re welcome, Tabitha,” he whispered against her hair.
“I’m sorry I was so rough on you that day at the beach, Dev,” she said sincerely. “I had no idea what you’d gone through for me, and still didn’t until I witnessed this,” she said, gesturing toward the bathroom.
“Yeah,” he said, grimacing, “my fall from grace is complete now.”
She pulled back, looking up at him, but not leaving the circle of his arms. “No, Devlin,” she said sternly, “this showed me that you’re still the same man I always loved, and even more superhuman than I ever thought.”
“I’m not superhuman, babe,” he told her seriously.
“Yes you are, to me, Devlin,” she said, her eyes staring up into his. “More than once you’ve put aside your own life, your own needs and even endangered your own well-being to be there for me. Someone that’s not even your own flesh and blood. That, to me, is heroic. I don’t care what you say.”
Devlin looked back at her, then grinned. “Do I get a cape?”
“No,” she said, smiling mischievously. “You only get yellow tights.”
“Ugh, I think I’ll stick with being mortal, thanks.”
“Yellow not your color?”
“More like green lately,” he said, grinning and nodding toward the bathroom.
“Ewww!”
“What was that about the myriad of colors one can throw up?” he asked. “I think I created a couple of new ones.”
“Oh, Dev …” she said, looking worried again, touching his cheek. “You should try to eat something.”
He shook his head. “Oh, no, I don’t think so, not just yet.”
She reached down touching his stomach. “My God, Devlin!” she exclaimed. “You’ve lost so much weight,” she said, shaking her head.
“I’ll be okay, I can bulk up in no time, not to worry,” he said, touching her cheek and smiling at her.
“Is that like fattening you up for Thanksgiving dinner?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah, and I’m the prime turkey,” he replied, grinning.
She laughed, shaking her head, then pinned him with a look.
“I’m glad to have you back, Devlin,” she said softly. “I missed you so much.”
He looked a little pained, then nodded. “I’m glad to have me back too.”
♫ Five ♫
Allexxiss stared at the paper, could she never get away from the sight of him? The picture showed Brenden at a press conference discussing his next tour, with Jordan Tate. In spite of herself, Allexxiss picked up the paper and walked back to her room. She sat down on the bed and read every word. The paper noted how flirty BJ was with Jordan Tate, and they found it necessary to go over Jordan and BJ’s history. There were a couple of lines about the “previously indisposed BJ Sparks” but that was all. Allexxiss had no idea what that meant. Did that mean he’d been shacked up with Jordan Tate again? She didn’t know, but she did know that she needed to start avoiding news about him again. There was no mention of Allexxiss, as if she’d never been part of BJ’s life.
Then a couple of days later, she saw the quote that made her cry. Someone had stopped Tabitha Sparks coming out of Badlands studios, asking how she felt about her mother being off in Jamaica. Tabitha’s reply had been caustic.
“I hope she stays there, it’s close enough to Hell,” Tabitha replied, her eyes glittering with malice.
Allexxiss knew she’d lost them both then. She spent the next four days in the hotel room, going between crying and sleeping. She’d found out about the story Max had put out, claiming that she was in Jamaica with him, and the lies about a baby. If she was pregnant, which she wasn’t, it would be Brenden’s baby. She refused to sleep with Max. There was no way to tell them that and she knew she needed to stay away from Brenden now. Max was very serious about ruining him.
She ached with the loss, but resigned herself to what was left of her life. Part of her wondered if Brenden would even care if she killed herself, but she knew she couldn’t do that, not when there was a glimmer of a chance that someday she could see him again. She hoped that at some point she could at least contact Tabitha and explain. Tabitha should understand, she wouldn’t want her father ruined either.
She knew it was likely Brenden would renege on backing The Living Edge, not that Allexxiss would in any way blame him. She was surprised when the director she’d wanted to work on the movie contacted her to ask when production was going to start.
“I’m not sure we still have funding,” Allexxiss told him.
“I just got word from Badlands that it’s a go,” Terence said.
“You did?” Allexxiss asked. “Who did you talk to?”
“Uh,” Terence said, glancing down at his notes, “a Tabitha Sparks. She didn’t sound too happy about it, but she said it was a go.”
So even in the face of her betrayal, Brenden was still taking care of her. It was just too much. She called Max next. He answered his line after a few rings, sounding irritated as usual.
“Max, I want you to liquidate some of my assets,” she told him without preamble.
“Excuse me?” he queried.
“You heard me,” she said, ice creeping into her voice. “I need fifteen million dollars and I need it as soon as possible.”
“Why?” Max asked, his tone sneering.
“Because I’m going to pay Brenden Sparks back every penny he’s losing on this deal, you bastard. Now just do it, I don’t care if I’m penniless after this.”
“You know I told you …” Max began, his tone preaching.
“Don’t fuck with me on this, Max, or I swear to God, I will make your life a living hell the likes of which you’ve never known,” Allexxiss said, her anger coming to bear on the man that had caused her to lose the man she loved the most.
“And what do you think you can do?” Max asked.
“Do you really want to find out, Maxwell?” she asked him, her tone steely.
Max grew quiet. He had no idea what she had up her sleeve, but he wasn’t really sure he wanted to tempt her. He knew he’d pushed it making her break it off with Sparks. Now it was time to lay low.
“I’ll do what I can, Allex,” he said. “I don’t know if we have enough in assets to cover that.”
“T
hen sell him shares in the movie,” Allex said. “Whatever it takes.”
“That could come out to a lot more than fifteen mill, Allex,” Max said, his tone chiding.
“He deserves twice that,” Allexxiss said. “Just do it, Maxwell,” she said then and hung up.
Max sat in his office staring at the phone, maybe he was going to have to destroy Sparks anyway. He couldn’t have the man causing this kind of havoc. He started concocting a plan that day.
Brenden had been working himself to the point of exhaustion. He shoved aside any thought of Allexxiss. He worked all day long, wrapping up the album, now that Devlin was back onboard and working as hard as ever. BJ was also helping Tabitha to make arrangements and handling last minute details he could have easily left up to his staff. He wanted the distraction of work. He was also hitting his home gym for hours on end, building up the stamina he was going to need for the tour.
The tour was slated to last three months, but he intended to cover much of the United States in that time. After that, there was a two-month tour of Europe scheduled to support the new album “Enter the Silence.” If the new album took off in the States, Brenden intended to do a number of new dates in America with just Sparks.
Many nights, Brenden fell into bed exhausted, however half the time, he didn’t sleep most of the night. He’d lie awake wrestling with memories, thoughts, and anger.
By the time the tour started, a full two months after Allexxiss deserted him, BJ was already mentally exhausted. Devlin noticed it the minute he got on the bus. He headed to the back to stow his guitar and bag. He stopped on the way next to Tabitha.
“Accompany me to the back of the bus, will you young lady?” he said, making his tone humorous so Brenden wouldn’t get edgy about the two of them talking.
Tabitha got up and followed him to the back. Once back there, he turned to her, leaning against the bunks.
“Has he been sleeping?” Devlin asked, nodding his head in Brenden’s direction.
“Doesn’t look like it, does it?” she asked, grimacing.
Devlin shook his head. “He’s still pining.”
Tabitha nodded. “I could just kill myself for doing this to him.”
“What is it you think you did?” Devlin asked her.
Sparks (Wild Irish Silence Book 1) Page 14