by J. Naomi Ay
“Where did you find all this shit? Dad would sooner die than eat this crap.”
“Mom kept them in a special cupboard for me.”
“She kept special food for you? She didn’t have a special cupboard for me.”
Rent shrugged, and tested a can of beans in his hand.
“So, you’re saying she loved you best?”
“I’m not saying that, but then again, I’m not the one who became a stinking drunk.” My brother headed across the room towards the bedroom. “If we put a can in a sock, it’ll make an effective weapon. When the guards open the door, we can sling it at them, and knock them out.”
“Brilliant!” Taner cheered from the couch.
“Socks,” I muttered, following Rent into our father’s closet. He opened a bureau drawer and pulled out several pairs of black silk dress socks. Dropping a can of beans inside, he swung the whole thing around.
“See!”
The can went flying out of the sock, thudding squarely into my chest. It might have cracked a rib.
“Fuck you, Rent!” I grabbed my brother’s neck. “You can’t use Dad’s socks, you idiot. The toes are all ripped out.”
“Why’s that?” he choked.
“Boys!” Taner yelled from the living room. “Try your mother’s pantyhose. It’s made from ultra-high tensile strength nylon. We did this because she had a habit of kicking people, which would cause her stockings to run. These should make a very effective weapon.”
“You get them,” I ordered Rent.
“I’m not going to paw through her lingerie drawer.”
“Yes, you are.” I shoved him. “Since you’re Mommy’s favorite.”
“Boys!” Taner hollered again. “Do I need to come in there, and do it myself?”
“Yes!” At least Rent and I agreed on something.
“No,” Taner snapped, so I grabbed Rent’s arm and pushed him into Mom’s closet. I opened a drawer full of lacy things.
“Check in there,” I ordered.
Rent closed his eyes, and stuck in a hand. He rooted around for a few moments before seizing on something. Smiling broadly, he pulled out one of Mom’s Glocks.
“Sweet!” I breathed, snatching it from him. Taking off the magazine, I ejected the bullet from the chamber, and looked inside. The gun was clean, the chamber shiny and unmarked. Mom always took really good care of her guns. “Perfect.” I slid and relocked the magazine, racking a bullet, and testing the weight of the gun in my hand. It was a little light for me. I would have preferred something more substantial, but it was a hell of a lot better than a can. “See if she left another one in there.”
“How many did she have?” Rent tentatively stuck his hand in again.
“Probably enough for an entire army.”
Rent checked the next drawer down, and the one after that. There weren’t any more guns, but he did manage to dig out a few pairs of pantyhose.
“I wonder if there are any swords in Dad’s closet. Think you can swing a lightsword, little bro?”
“No thanks. I’ll stick with my cans.”
While Rent returned to the kitchen to arm up Mom’s tights, I walked through Dad’s closets in search of his sword. I highly doubted he kept anything in there. An ancient iron battle sword belonging to our ancestor, King Karukan de Kudisha was still in Karupatani at the Temple, preserved in a display case.
Dad also had a personal lightsword with a fancy engraved gold hilt, but I was pretty sure he kept it with him. I scanned the room anyway.
Something glinted in the back. At first, I ignored it. Lots of Dad’s clothes had gold and platinum adornments. So did mine, for that matter, and Rent’s. The chicks always loved it when we got decked out like princes.
That thing, whatever it was, kept flashing in the back even after I had closed the closet door and shut off the light. Cautiously, I approached it, brushing aside Dad’s coats and cloaks.
At the back of the closet, on a single shelf, I found a gold box. The light, the flashing, was coming from inside. I watched it for a minute, afraid to touch it, afraid to open it without knowing what I might unleash.
“What is it?” my brother asked, opening the door and scaring the shit out of me. He was holding two sets of Mom’s pantyhose with cans in the bottom.
“Open this first,” I ordered, and took the pantyhose slings from his hands.
“Why me? Why do you always make me do this kind of stuff?”
“Because you’re Mom’s favorite. Dad wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
“Hey Steve,” the idiot replied, purposely avoiding the task in front of him. “What if there’s another one of us out there in the galaxy? Maybe I’m not the only one who was lost.”
“Not likely, bro. Not unless you have a twin, and if you did, Dad would have found him by now.”
“Maybe that’s what they went off to do. Maybe neither of us is their favorite and this other guy is instead.”
“No,” I replied, getting annoyed with his stalling. “That’s patently ridiculous. Do you know how old Mom is? There’s a higher chance that I’ve got another progeny out there wandering around. Now, shut up and open the box. There might be something useful inside.”
Rent tentatively touched it with his finger.
“What if it’s Pandora’s box?”
“Open the fucking box!”
Rent took a hard breath, and touched the box again. It didn’t shock him or vaporize him, so he fiddled with the lock, and swung the top open.
“Whoa,” he gasped.
“Awesome!” I replied, reaching inside to extract Dad’s lightsword. I didn’t turn it on in the closet. I didn’t want to risk setting his clothes on fire, or killing my brother accidentally. Instead, I just cradled it in my palm, the gold hilt already warming to my touch.
“Look, here’s a note,” Rent said.
“A note?”
Rent unfolded the piece of paper upon which a message was scrawled in ink. It looked like my dad’s loopy left-handed writing, which because he was also a doctor, was mostly illegible.
“What does it say?” My brother gave it to me.
I studied it carefully. It was written in Karupta.
“I think it says, ‘Use this to kill my brother.’ I’m not entirely sure though as his A’s also look like E’s, which could change the whole meaning.”
“To what?”
I hesitated for a moment, wondering which of us the note and the sword were meant for.
“Come on, Steve. What does the note mean if the A is an E?”
“It means, Use this to kill your brother.”
“Oh.” Rent studied the floor. “Dad doesn’t have any brothers.”
“Maybe he was just being metaphorical.” I shrugged, tossing the note back in the gold box. “I’m sure he doesn’t want me to kill you. You’re Mom’s favorite, right?”
Rent looked doubtful.
“All that food in your special cupboard? Come on, bro.” I punched his arm. “Let’s blow this Popsicle stand.”
We went back into the living room where Taner had his feet up on the table and was watching the vid.
“Don’t get too comfortable,” I said.
Taner removed his feet from the table, and stood up while I explained the plan. Rent would explode the ketchup in the microwave. The noise would summon the guards, who would come rushing through the outside doors. Then, we’d all attack, and escape to the roof.
“I’ll use the lightsword,” I decided.
“Do you know how?” Taner asked. “You must be very careful. You don’t want to cut off a limb.”
“Yes, Taner. I was in the Imperial SpaceNavy. What would you like? The Glock or Rent’s cans?”
“I want to use my cans,” Rent insisted. “I don’t like guns.”
“You can’t be Mom’s favorite son,” I remarked. “Maybe, I am supposed to kill you.”
“Shika,” Taner said with a sigh, taking the Glock. He checked it just like I had done. Taner knew
what he was doing. Long ago, he had been a palace cop.
While we took up positions on either side of the doors, Rent set the micro on five minutes. We waited, the micro humming as the ketchup cooked, the turntable spinning. It got tiring standing there prone for so long.
“Did you set on high?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Could you have cooked it any less?”
“I don’t know. We’ll find out when it explodes.”
The microwave beeped. It wanted the ketchup bottle turned over. Rent restarted it and we once again took up positions. About a half a minute later, we heard a huge boom from the kitchen. Ketchup flew out, along with the micro’s door.
We waited. Footsteps hurried down the outside hall. We waited some more. The footsteps paused, then turned around.
“Now what?” I spat, frowning at Mom’s granite kitchen countertops covered in burnt tomato.
“I have an idea.” Taner walked over to the balcony doors. He held out the Glock, and put a bullet through the locking mechanism.
“Oh!” Rent gasped. “I guess that could work too.”
“Careful, boys.”
Pushing the newly unlocked doors open, Taner stepped out on the balcony, and scanned the beach. It was covered in snow, and so cold, ice ridges had formed on the ocean. A few Rossorians guards were waiting down there, standing in the snow, and shivering visibly beneath their cloaks.
“Go for it, Rent,” I said. “Swing that sling, bro.”
My brother lobed the pantyhose like missiles, and to his credit, took out a few of the Rossorians, while I ran down the snow-covered steps, all two hundred and eighteen, while managing not to break my neck.
I dispatched the rest of the guards with the lightsword, which turned out to be relatively easy. Those guys were so soft and stupid, they would have been bounced from the SpaceNavy basic training during the first week.
Donning their cloaks, and boots, we solemnly walked around the building, nodding our heads and proclaiming, ‘Rosso loves you,’ to anyone else we encountered.
Zem was waiting by the car, a cig on his lips, his expression not the least bit surprised at our appearance.
“Let’s head to Karupatani,” I decided, tossing the cloak on the ground as I climbed in.
“Why not Turko?” Taner protested as we started to take off.
I began to explain how we could rally the Karuptas to form a resistance when I glanced out the window at a hippie van trundling by.
“Hey Steve?” Rent interrupted, pointing at the van as it swept into the remains of the Palace courtyard. “I just saw Sara in there.”
“Blessed Saint!” Taner cried. “There’s Carolie and Rory too!”
Chapter 14
Katie
“Sweet cheeks will you pass me a protein bar?”
“Sure, Zork.”
I reached into the cabinet next to my head. I was underneath the control console, and supposed to be sleeping, but my pillow was a combination of my arms and a water bottle. On top of that, I didn’t have a blanket. I was tired enough. Frankly, I was exhausted, but no matter how I tried, I could barely manage a few winks.
“Thanks darling.”
“I’ll take one too,” Dave said, as I handed one of the bars up to Zork. “You really should try to stop twisting and turning, Captain. This whole voyage will pass a lot quicker if you sleep through your thirty-three point three percent of down time.”
“I know, Dave.”
Handing him a bar, I took another one for myself. I flipped it through my fingers, studying it briefly before deciding I didn’t really want it. There were only so many reconstituted dried legumes one could eat, no matter how hungry one felt.
At the moment, of all my problems, hunger pains were pretty low on the list. I was bored, filthy dirty, stinking so much so that even Zork smelled better, and completely confused about where life was taking me. And, I was worried.
“Thanks, Captain,” Dave said, his foot tapping nervously, and perilously close to my head. Switching direction, I tried to sleep with my head on Zork’s side. More than once, both Zork and I had been kicked by Dave’s anxious feet.
Zork looked down at me and smiled. He waggled his fingers suggestively as if my readjustment was intended to get closer to him.
“If you are unable to sleep now, Captain,” Dave declared loudly. “I would be happy to exchange shifts with you.”
“I would be happy to exchange shifts with you, Captain, oh my Captain, my empress, my queen,” Zork simpered, mimicking Dave. “In fact, why don’t I lay down on the floor beneath you, and make like a rug?”
“I didn’t say that, Scott!” Dave snapped. “I merely suggested that I take over her current shift. I can certainly handle the next two consecutive rotations, and if it makes her more comfortable, it would certainly benefit us all.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” Zork replied. “I’ll come down there and make like your rug. Actually, I’ll make like a mattress, and a blanket, and a pillow. Dave can sit here for the next six shifts for all I care. Just promise me you won’t look at us, Dave. You might see something that will shock you.”
“I’m good, thanks anyway, guys.” I turned my back to them.
“You sure, buttercup?”
“I’m sure, Zork. Actually, if you come down here with me, you might get shocked yourself.”
I meant that as joke, although nobody laughed. Zork went quiet for a few minutes. I guess he remembered the last time, too.
In the meantime, Dave was lost in his head, calculating the exact date and time we would arrive back at Earth, and the statistical chances that this garbage truck wouldn’t make it. Privately, I guessed those odds to be extremely high. The engine was old, and built for short commuter-like trips. Twice now, it had unintentionally crossed a galactic divide, something that would strain the powerplants on even the most technically advanced starships.
On top of that, the fuel source in this truck was generated by crystal infusion, a process that was commonly used more than a century ago. The mileage and driving distance was great back in the day, but I suspected the crystals were in needed of replenishing, something none of us could afford. Of the three of us, we hadn’t a nickel between us. Once the crystals ran out, so would our luck, as we had no money to purchase new.
“I kept all my money in virtual currencies,” Zork had replied and showed me his empty pockets. “I was a gambler, sweetheart.”
“Lost it all,” Dave snickered.
“Yeah, well, the Imperial Dollar is worth less than crap. What smart thing did you do with your retirement, Dave?”
“I invested in an RV.”
“Right, the one back at that RV park on some distant moon,” Zork chortled. “The one with the light on unless the whole thing caught fire and burned up.”
“It doesn’t matter in any case,” I had interrupted. “The point is, we’ve got no money for repairs or crystal fuel. Once this old truck stops working, we’re pretty much dead.”
“We can call for a tow,” Zork suggested.
“From who?” Dave replied. “The Alliance is gone. The Empire has imploded. We’re on our own out here. It’s like the wild, wild west.”
That was the crux of it. We were all alone out here. A starship should have rescued me weeks ago. I had a tracking chip implanted in my arm, which still transmitted a strong signal. If the Imperial SpaceNavy was anywhere in the sector, they could have found me.
There was also the possibility that Senya had told Kinar not to search for me. I didn’t know why. When he left, I thought we were on pretty good terms. Of course, I didn’t stay put as he had ordered me to. And, there was that little event with Luka, which might have upset him.
Still, why would he leave me out here to die with Dave and Zork?
Unless, he couldn’t help. What if Senya never went back to Mishnah? What if he was still wandering around some other dimension, or literally, sitting in Hell? Not that I believed he was, but that experience w
ith Luka had left me completely unnerved. It also left me unable to sleep.
“Are you sure you don’t want to switch for a bit, Captain?” Dave offered again.
“No,” I insisted, stifling a yawn. “I really am going to try to sleep. Goodnight, guys.”
“Pleasant dreams, Katie. Before you go, would you mind passing me another protein bar?”
“You just ate one,” Zork snapped. “Come on, Dave. We don’t have a limitless supply.”
“I’m still hungry,” Dave whimpered.
“Your stomach is like a black hole.”
“It’s alright.” I handed Dave the bar I didn’t eat. “Enjoy, and once again, goodnight.”
“Sayonara, chickie.”
“Sweet dreams, Captain.”
“Adios muchacha.”
“Goodnight, dear lady.”
“That’s enough!” I snapped, and wished I could bury my head.
Eventually, I fell asleep, the kind of half-dozing, half-hallucinating state where I could still hear the engine rumbling beneath me. Zork and Dave’s muffled voices accompanied my dreams, although later, I couldn’t recall a word they had said.
Instead, I dreamt that I was looking out the window at the stars when I spied a man’s face far off in the distance.
“There you are,” I called, immediately assuming he was Senya. My heart pounded and swelled with love. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I’ve been so worried. Are you alright?”
“No, Cassie,” he replied. “You killed me. Did you forget about that?”
“But, you’ll be back,” I insisted. “You always are, and it wasn’t the first time. You said so yourself. Don’t take too long. I miss you so much. I love you. I’m so lonely when you’re not here.”
“I miss you, and love you too. Of course, I shall return. I’ll find you again no matter where you go. You know you can’t hide from me. I shall come for you, and then, we’ll run away again to some place where we can be alone.”
I woke with a start, sitting up so quickly my head bumped into the low ceiling of the console. My heart was pounding, and my blood was racing through my veins.
“What’s that matter, Kate?” Dave asked, leaning down to look at me. “Did you have a nightmare? Is that why you cried out?”