by Tim Miller
Turning away, she ran toward the battle. As she ran, Coy started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot, taking a wide route around the crowd to avoid any stray bullets. She reached the pack, finding a couple of clowns tearing some guy’s arms and legs off. They were whacking each other with his severed arms like a couple kids playing sword fight. The guy was still alive and flopping around. The clowns looked up at her just before she buzzed through both their heads with the saw, cutting their heads in half. They fell to the ground as the pathetic, dying man looked up at her.
“Help me? Please?” he said. She took the saw and cut his head off with one swipe. She figured it was the most merciful thing she could do for him. She had no sympathy for these townspeople. Her best friend was dead and died horribly because of these assholes.
She ran into the mob swinging the saw from side to side. Blood squirted like a fountain as she cut people and clowns in half. Green sludge sprayed in the air as each clown was cut to shreds. The townspeople didn’t even see her coming as she took them out in various ways. Some she impaled with the chainsaw, others she cut in half sideways or down the middle, whichever was easiest.
It was the same with the clowns. They were all so wrapped up fighting each other, and of course the clowns had to make a game of it all. Some of the clowns remained alive even after being cut in two. They lay on the ground, trying to scoot along with their hands, laughing wildly. She let out a scream as she tore through the mob.
Something she wouldn’t reflect on until later was how good it all felt. The past year since her last ordeal had been so hard for her. Now for the first time since then, she felt alive. This mess made the ordeal with the McDougals look like a day at the park. She had no idea what these clowns were or where they came from, but she fully intended to send every one of them straight to hell. She had become Death.
For the next hour, she hacked and slashed her way through the crowd, cutting them down two and three at a time. Eventually there were only a few left. Some men from the town had taken off running toward one of the pickups. She ran after them and caught up to one who tripped when a half clown grabbed his ankle. She cut the clown’s head off before sawing through the man’s stomach and up to his neck and finally cutting his head in half.
She ran to the truck where the other man was inside fumbling with his keys. Lifting the chainsaw, she cut him in half diagonally from his shoulder to his waist. Turning off the saw, she held it to her side as she turned and looked around. The parking lot looked like a war zone, except with dead clowns. There was blood everywhere mixed with whatever the green clown sludge was. There were severed heads and body parts lying around. Some clowns were still alive, trying to pull themselves toward the Funhouse by their hands.
April walked through and finished each of them off. As she did so, Coy returned in his truck. She dropped the chainsaw and walked to the pickup and climbed in. Looking at herself, she was covered from head to toe in blood.
“Holy shit!” Coy said. “Did you do all that?” he said pointing at the carnage.
“Yeah, I did,” she said, looking straight ahead.
“Goddamn. You killed everybody!”
“Good observation.”
“But, you killed my townsfolk, too. Them were my friends,” he whined.
“Your friends were a bunch of murdering assholes. My friends are all dead because of them. Because of you even,” she said, turning her head and glaring at Coy. He sank down in his seat as their eyes met. Right away she recognized the look on his face. Fear. He was terrified of her. Good.
Ever since they got out of that dark room, she had been contemplating if she should kill Coy or not. Up until now, she had planned on doing so. But now she wasn’t sure. Yes, he brought them to the Funhouse at gunpoint. Though she was learning he was a pretty simple guy. Plus, he did risk his own life going into the Funhouse to find her.
“Are you gonna hurt me?” He asked.
“No. Let’s get out of here,” she said. He put the pickup in drive and they headed back into town. As they drove, she thought of Stacy and the way she’d seen her last. She’d left Stacy’s face in the Funhouse. Maybe she could go get it and bury it. But she didn’t want to risk going back in that place at all. Before they reached the town she rested her head against the window and closed her eyes and instantly fell asleep.
Chapter 27
April woke up in someone’s bed, alone. She looked around and assessed the room. It had flowery wallpaper and a large vanity in the corner. Sitting up, she was still in her bra and shorts and still bloody, though the blood had dried into a brown crust on her skin. She climbed out of the bed and opened the door. In the hallway, she heard a TV coming from another room. She walked into the living room to see an old woman sitting on a couch, with several of the children sitting around playing.
The kids had all been cleaned up and were wearing different clothes. The woman looked up at her.
“Oh! You’re awake!” she said.
“Where am I?”
“I’m Mrs. Reynolds. You’re in my home. Coy brought you here.”
“Where is Coy?”
“He’s out tending to some things. You slept a long time,” Mrs. Reynolds said.
“How long?”
“About two days. I’m cooking dinner right now. Got a nice roast in the oven. Why don’t you get cleaned up and dinner will be ready. You could use it I’m sure. Coy said you’d really been through the ringer.”
“Yeah, I have.”
“There’s clothes in the closet there that should fit you. Some of my daughter’s clothes. Get you out of those rags.”
“Yeah. Thank you,” April said as she headed back to the bedroom. She undressed and climbed into the shower. Blood ran down the drain as it washed off her. She washed her hair and body until all the blood and dirt was gone. Once she was clean, she stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself. After the shower, she felt like a new person. Looking at herself in the mirror, she brushed her black hair and found some women’s jeans and a t-shirt in the closet.
Once she was dressed she headed back to the living room but followed the smell into the dining room. There was Mrs. Reynolds seated at the table with the children seated around, some were in booster seats.
“There you are! You look so pretty!” Mrs. Reynolds said.
“Thank you,” April said. Looking at her plate, there was some cut up roast, steamed broccoli, mashed potatoes and a can of diet Coke.
“You’re probably pretty hungry.”
“Starving,” April said.
“Well don’t wait around. You need your strength. Go ahead and eat, dear.”
April sat down and dug into the roast. Each bite was juicy and tender. It was cooked to perfection. She scarfed down the meat, the potatoes, and broccoli and washed it all down with the Diet Coke. She sat the can down and looked up at Mrs. Reynolds.
“Wow, you were hungry,” the old woman said.
“Yeah, I guess I was.”
“How was it, dear?”
“Oh it was great. Thank you.”
“Oh good. I’m so glad. My daughter always loved my roast.”
“Yeah. Where is your daughter anyway? Does she still live around here?”
“No. I’m afraid not,” Mrs. Reynolds said, setting her fork down.
“She move away?” April asked.
“No. You killed her you little cunt.”
No sooner did Mrs. Reynolds speak when April began to feel lightheaded. At first just a little, but suddenly the room began to spin. She tried to stand, but stumbled to the floor, trying to hold herself up against the table.
“How’d you like them roofies, bitch?” Mrs. Reynolds said as she came around the table, standing over April. “My daughter went out there to help save you and your friends. I told her not to go, but she wanted to help. Always was a tomboy. Well you cut her in half with that goddamn chainsaw. Couldn’t just kill the clowns. You had to kill everyone. My daughter, my friends. Now there’s just a
few of us left in this town.” She paused to give April a feeble kick in the side. “Everyone in this town isn’t bad! We’re not murderers! You saw those clowns and what they could do. You think we liked them lording over us for all these years? You think we enjoyed grabbing travelers and their kids and forcing them into that place? The few times one of us didn’t do it, we disappeared. No thank you.”
“You really thought I was gonna take care of you? You’re not nearly as smart as Coy thought. Though he always was kinda slow. How you feelin? Got the spins yet?”
The woman kept talking, but April couldn’t tell what she was saying. It all turned to gibberish as things kept spinning faster and faster until everything went dark. Right before she passed out, she wished she had killed Coy.
Epilogue
In a bar several miles from Happytown
The clown formerly known as Todd sat at the bar looking around. By now he’d fully embraced his new persona as Captain Cowpoke. He wasn’t quite ready to fight over it like the other clowns were. When he saw the mayhem outside the funhouse, he took off in one of the townies’ pickup trucks. The big guy, Creampuff hitched a ride with him. The two clowns couldn’t help but be noticed the other bar patrons staring at them.
“So you clowns with the carnies I take it?” the bartender asked.
“Carnies?” Cowpoke said.
“Yeah, that shitty carnival over by the feed store. They got a circus tent and everything. Figured you was with them.”
“Oh, right. Yes of course we’re with the carnies. Right buddy?” Cowpoke said as he elbowed Creampuff. Creampuff just nodded while sipping his soda through a straw.
“You guys do laundry over there? The two of you are filthy,” the bartender said.
“Oh, sure. Laundry day isn’t until Saturday though. Anyway, I guess we’ll go.” Cowpoke stood and looked around. “Which way is the feed store? Sorry, I got a little turned around on the way here.”
“Out the door, then to your left. Follow the road and you’ll see the strip mall. It’s the biggest store there.”
“Got it,” Cowpoke said as the two clowns walked out of the bar and began the trek to the feed store. It took almost an hour to get there, but Cowpoke’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw it. It wasn’t the biggest big top he’d ever seen, but it was glorious on its own.
“Wow! Look at that Creampuff! This is our new home!” he said. Creampuff nodded as they walked toward the large tent. Outside the tent a little boy and his mom walked by.
“Mommy look! Clowns!” the boy said.
The woman walked over with her son as Cowpoke tried his best not to be awkward. She looked young for having a boy his age, maybe twenty-two at the oldest. The boy had to be at least six or seven. Cowpoke looked her up and down. She had long blonde hair, and was wearing a tank top that fit way too tight and a pair of jean shorts.
“Can one of you make a balloon animal for Tommy? He loves balloon animals,” she said.
Cowpoke and Creampuff looked at each other and shrugged.
“Oh, uh, sure.” Cowpoke dug in his pocket and found a couple of balloons in there. He had no idea how they had gotten there. This was an old suit when they gave it to him, so maybe its previous owner used them. He took out the balloon and blew it up, tying off the end. Problem was, he had no clue how to make a balloon animal. Improvising the best he could, he twisted and tied the balloon all around until it was a mass of knots.
“Here you go kid,” Cowpoke said holding it out.
“What is it?” the boy said.
“It’s, uh...giraffe!”
“No it isn’t. That’s not anything.”
“Sure it is kid. You want it or not?”
“You’re not a real clown are you?”
Cowpoke squeezed the balloon, bursting in his hand. The boy and his mom both jumped as he stood straight.
“That’s quite a little shithead you got there lady,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
“Your son. He’s an ungrateful little brat.”
“How rude! I’m going to report you,” the woman said.
“Oh come on mom. I got something better for you than balloon animals,” he said as he undid his clown suit and took out his clown penis. His also was long, almost snakelike, with the large red bulb on the end. He squeezed it, causing it to honk as it squirted green slime toward her. The woman screamed, grabbed her son and ran off. Cowpoke turned to Creampuff and shrugged.
“I guess she’s afraid to party with a real man,” he said.
“There you are!” someone called from behind them. They turned and a man in a suit was coming out of the tent. “The show’s about to start! Get in there!”
“Oh right,” Cowpoke said. “Sorry. What do you need me to do?”
“You’re clowns! Do clown shit! Get in there.” The man pushed them inside the tent, walked them past a back stage area where there were acrobats stretching out and other performers changing or warming up. They walked through a small tunnel and into the big top. The man in the suit grabbed some bowling pins and handed them to Cowpoke.
“Here. To juggle with or something. Now get out there,” he said.
Cowpoke and Creampuff ran out into the arena. There were a couple other clowns chasing each other with a fire extinguisher. When he and Creampuff made their way out there, a collective “oooh” went out from the crowd. Most likely they were awed by Creampuff’s size. Creampuff looked around and at Cowpoke.
“I don’t know, dance or something,” Cowpoke told him.
So Creampuff began to awkwardly hop around on one foot, alternating feet while waving his arms at his sides like he were an airplane. Cowpoke began tossing the bowling pins up in the air trying to juggle, but kept dropping them. One bounced off his head before hitting the ground. The crowd laughed though. His head hurt, but at least he was somewhat blending in.
Cowpoke continued his dance until the ring announcer stepped into the arena.
“Let’s hear it for our wonderful clowns!” the ring announcer said as the crowd applauded. “Now! For our next act. It’s one of the most death defying feats known to man!”
“Hey! Come on!” someone said. It was one of the other clowns waving to Cowpoke from a few feet away. “That’s our cue to get backstage,” he said. Cowpoke followed him out of the arena into the backstage area.
“Are you new or something? I never saw you two before,” the clown said.
“Uh, yeah. Pretty new I guess,” Cowpoke said.
“Ok. I figured. I’m Mel,” he said putting his hand out. Cowpoke shook his hand.
“Captain Cowpoke.”
“Ha! I love it. Staying in character. One of our guys used to do that, too. He retired last year. Good guy he was.”
“So are you from another Funhouse?” Cowpoke asked.
“Am I what?”
“From another Funhouse. Like the one we just came from, in Happytown.”
“Funhouse? Happytown? Dude, you been doing carnies too long. You should get out more,” Mel said. He grabbed his red hair and pulled on it, removing the wig and bald cap. He then took out a rag and began wiping makeup off his face, revealing the man underneath.
“Hey!” Cowpoke said. “You’re not a real clown!”
“What? What the hell are you talking about?”
Creampuff grabbed one of the bowling pins out of Cowpoke’s hand and immediately smashed it across the side of Mel’s face. Mel fell to the ground, breathing in short, labored gasps as one of his legs twitched. Creampuff bent down and continued smashing his face with the bowling pin until Mel’s head was completely busted open. Blood and brains oozed onto the ground. Creampuff dropped the bowling pin, turned to Cowpoke and smiled.
The End
Also by Tim Miller
The Hand of God
Revenge of the Three
Dark Exorcist
Dark Exorcist 2
Blood Slayer
Family Night
Hell Texas
Night of Venge
ance
Bloody Bank Heist
The Country Club
Road to Darkness
Dead to Writes (April Almighty Book 1)
About the Author
Tim began writing at a very young age. As a teenager he would write short stories of horror to entertain himself and his friends. Not knowing at the time this would one day lead to his dream of becoming a published author. Tim has studied various religions and psychology as evident in the "Hand of God" books and "Dark Exorcist."
From there, Tim began to venture into the realm of splatterpunk and extreme horror, which kicks the gore factor into overdrive. With the release of "Family Night" Tim has been off to the races. He has released several bestselling titles that are sure to turn your stomach.
You can follow Tim on his website at http://timmiller.org and on Twitter @TimMiller2011