“Are you giving me the bedtime story version again?” she whispered and his green eyes met hers. The feelings in them matched those in his blood. He was surprised, amused, and worried.
“Perhaps.” His fingers halted against her cheek. They tickled as he lowered them, grazing her jaw and then her throat. They stopped on the point where he had bitten her. It was still sore but she didn’t regret it, and she was happy that it had gone the way it had, and that he hadn’t done it against her will. He stared at her throat and his fingers, and a small frown creased his brow. “Kyran will try to take you.”
“I know.” That wasn’t her fear. She knew deep in her heart that Kearn would do everything to protect her from his brother. That was what scared her. She feared she might have entered his world only for him to leave it and she didn’t want to lose him.
On impulse, she took hold of his hand and brought it away from her neck, clasping it and holding it against her cheek. She leaned into it, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, and closed her eyes.
He sighed.
“Do not be afraid, Amber. I will not let him near you.”
Amber opened her eyes and looked into his, trying to memorise the way he was looking at her with so much love and warmth, and praying that this wouldn’t be one of their last moments together.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she said and he frowned, clearly not understanding. Her heart ached at the thought of losing him and her throat tightened. “I’m afraid that you’ll leave me here alone.”
“I will stay right here with you if that is what you want.” He smiled.
He hadn’t understood.
She squeezed his hand and sniffed back her tears, wanting to be strong even when she felt weak inside. “No, you won’t. You’ll be here but you’ll fight him, and if all else fails… I’m not… I don’t want you to do that for me.”
His smile disappeared. “I will protect you.”
“Regardless of the outcome… of what I want?” Amber sat up now, not caring that the black duvet fell away to reveal her bare breasts. She dropped his hand, threw her arms around his neck and buried her face into it. “Please don’t. I don’t want you to do that for me. I don’t want to be without you.”
He sighed and wrapped his arms around her. The feel of them strong against her sides and his hands pressing into her ribs brought more tears. They were hot as they ran down her cheeks and she pulled in a deep breath and fought for control over them. She didn’t want to cry.
“These aren’t happy tears now, are they?” He pressed his cheek against hers.
Idiot.
Of course they weren’t happy tears. He was considering sacrificing himself in order to keep her safe. There was nothing to be happy about.
“What would you have me say, dearest Amber?” His voice was soft against her neck.
“That you’ll never leave me and I’m imagining the intent I can feel in your blood… that you won’t do this and you won’t leave me alone… I wasn’t afraid of the future only because you were in it. If you aren’t in it, then I don’t want to liv—”
Kearn roughly pushed her back and pressed his fingers to her lips. Tears scalded her cheeks and she stared wide-eyed at him. He was angry.
“Shh.” He released her mouth, his emotions subsiding and calm returning. “Do not think such things. If it pains you so much, if my leaving this world would only cause you to follow me, then I only have one path open to me.”
He brushed her hair back behind her ears, carefully tucking the loose strands away, and then smiled into her eyes.
“I will have to win.”
Amber kissed him and it became an outpouring of her feelings. Each brush of their lips and sweep of their tongues was full of the love, the fear and the need she felt inside her. She couldn’t lose him. His mouth moved against hers in a light caress that brought her sadness to the surface and fresh tears came as she tried hard not to think about a world without him or the fight ahead of them.
She believed in him. She had to believe in him. It was the only thing that would keep her going. And if he even showed a tiny sign of considering sacrificing himself, she was going to fight too. She wouldn’t last five seconds against Kyran, but she wasn’t going to give up her future with Kearn. She was going to fight for it, even if it meant dying with him.
“You should not think such things,” Kearn whispered against her lips.
She hadn’t kept her feelings in check and he had sensed her intent from her blood as easily as she had sensed his. She looked away, staring at the black covers on the double bed and considering what to say. She tried to get her feelings back into place but they wouldn’t go.
“I love you,” she said in a small voice, tears blurring her vision.
“And that is why you think such things?”
Amber looked at him and blinked to clear her sight. The tears tumbled down her cheeks. Kearn frowned, sighed, and then gently wiped them away. His fingers were soft against her, so careful that more tears came. She sniffed them back, searching for the strength in her heart to say what she needed to.
“Isn’t it why you think them too?” she whispered and Kearn’s beautiful green eyes filled with sadness.
They were no longer cold and empty. Now she saw emotions in them whenever he looked at her, and every time they were different. She wished they were constant, only love and confidence shining in them. She wasn’t sure how to handle the combined weight of their sorrow in her veins and in his eyes but it told her something. He feared the coming battle as much as she did.
If he could face it, then so could she.
She wouldn’t give up and she wouldn’t let him sacrifice himself. No matter what orders he gave her, she vowed to break them and help him if he needed it.
Kearn stroked her cheek. “It is because I love you that I can think such things. It is not out of duty as a Venator, or for any other reason.”
“Then don’t think them.” She took hold of his hands and toyed with his fingers. Strong hands. They had saved her more than once. Her fingertips traced the silver tribal markings on his right hand. He had incredible powers. He only had to believe in them and fight with his heart, and she was sure that he would win. “Don’t think about dying because you love me… think about living because you love me.”
Amber looked into his eyes.
“I want you to live for me, Kearn… not die for me.”
Kearn smiled and she blushed at the intensity of love in his eyes and in his blood. She dropped her gaze but he took his right hand from hers and pressed his fingers under her chin, raising it so their eyes locked again.
“I will try,” he whispered and she knew it was all he could give to her, and it was the closest thing to a promise that she would get. “I do not want to leave you. I brought you into this world because I could not live without you, and because I needed you at my side forever. I do not intend to leave it now that I have you. I would be less than a man if I left you now to go through the transition alone. I will fight for you, my precious Amber, and only you… because my heart commands it.”
He lowered his hand to her chest, pressing his palm flat against the space between her breasts.
His heart.
He had said that she ruled his heart. Had he taken her words as an order? If it would stop him from leaving her, she would order him a thousand times over to live for her.
Amber knelt on the bed in front of him, pressed her hands against his chest, feeling his muscles beneath his black military-style jacket, and leaned towards him. His gaze fell to her mouth as she approached, his dark pupils widening, and his lips parted.
“Make love to me,” she breathed.
“You are weak still.” Kearn grasped her shoulders, stopping her, and an incredulous look crossed his face.
“I can handle you. I feel better. I want… I don’t want you to go into this without… I need this, Kearn… do as your heart commands and make love to me.”
His frown stuck and then he
smiled. “Commands? You are growing a little too used to ordering me around.”
“Will you refuse?” She brought his hands away from her shoulders and down to her breasts. The moment she put them there, he was curling his fingers around to cup them and gently squeeze.
He shook his head, causing the silver threads of his hair to fall down across his eyes. Amber swept them back, loving the soft feel of them as they slipped through her fingers. He looked at her, his green eyes full of warmth and love again at last. There wasn’t a trace of sorrow in his blood. Need and desire had replaced it—a heated feeling that made her lick her lips and lean in to kiss him again.
Amber pressed her mouth to his, parted his lips with her tongue, and kissed him. He responded with gentle force, his tongue coming to meet hers, sliding silkily along the length of it and tangling together. His hands clutched her breasts and she moaned when he thumbed her nipples, sending a wave of sparks dancing outwards across her body.
Every inch of her responded to his touch, growing warm and hungry for him. She pressed her hands against his chest and slid them over his tense muscles, towards the twin rows of silver buttons that formed a V down the jacket. The first set she chose didn’t open.
Kearn pulled back, smiled down at her hands, and moved them to the opposite set of silver buttons. She began to undo them. When she reached the bottom, she pushed the thick jacket off his shoulders and then started on his black shirt. Her fingers slowed as she undid each button and she savoured the way it opened little by little to reveal the defined muscles of his bare chest. The heat pooling at the apex of her thighs increased and she ached to feel Kearn inside her.
Her gaze fell to his crotch as the last of his shirt buttons gave way.
The black material of his trousers didn’t hide the hard outline of his erection.
Clearly he wanted to be inside her too.
Kearn groaned when she stroked his length. She stared at his face, relishing the way his eyes closed and his teeth sunk into his lower lip.
His eyes opened and the desire in them and in his blood astounded her. He narrowed his gaze on her and then lowered it to her body, slowly and sensually taking her all in. She burned under his perusal, hungry for his touch. When his gaze reached her hand, she ran it along his erection again, eliciting a groan from him that set her blood on fire. She licked her lips and continued to stroke him, enjoying the feel of him and his reaction to her touch.
He tensed and leaned back, giving her a wonderful view of the muscles of his torso. She leaned forwards to devour every inch of his delicious body but Kearn was on his feet before she could reach him, slipping free of her grasp.
Amber sat back and watched him undress instead. He shirked his jacket and shirt, letting them fall to the floor, and then removed his boots. Her mouth turned dry when he undid his belt and his trousers. A new flood of desire washed through her, and she wriggled on the bed as he kicked off his trousers and underwear, and ran his right hand down his hard length.
She wanted that. Now.
Lying back on the bed, she tilted her head to one side and crooked her finger at him.
He growled.
A thrill chased through her.
Animal.
Kearn kneeled on the bed and then leaned over her, his hips nestling between her thighs. She brushed her fingers across his cheek and then down his neck and over his shoulder, feeling the power in his beautiful body and his blood. He smiled when she hooked her hand around the back of his neck and lured him down to her. His kiss was sweet and slow, gradually stirring the embers of her desire into flames that scorched her skin.
He rested on one elbow above her, his other hand skimming down her right side. It tickled, causing her to wriggle beneath him, and then her eyes slipped shut as his fingers brushed across her stomach and downwards. A groan escaped her when he slid them into her warm folds and teased her. The feeling was too much when she was burning with hunger, balanced on the precipice of her desire and ready to fall into bliss with him.
His fingers moved downwards and anticipation coiled in her stomach. She raised her hips hungrily into his hand and sighed when he eased his finger into her body and slowly pumped her. She wanted to feel him inside her. The thought of being so close to having him there was maddening. She writhed against his hand, trying to encourage him to make a move.
Kearn kissed her throat and, even though she knew that he wouldn’t bite her or take blood from her, it was thrilling to have him there again. She wanted to feel it but knew he would refuse her while she was still recovering.
Each kiss on her throat sent a shiver tripping through her body, down over her breasts and stomach to the point where his finger teased her.
She moaned and raised her body into his, eliciting a growl from him when her hip rubbed his hard length. She slid her hand downwards. The moment it wrapped around his shaft, he thrust against her, pushing himself through her tight grip. His finger moved deeper inside her, sending her desire spiralling until she wanted to burst.
“Kearn,” she whispered into his ear and kissed it, licking the lobe and tempted to bite it to make him do as she wanted.
He pulled his finger out of her and moved between her legs. The weight of him against her was divine. She wanted to be one with him again, connected in their feelings, their blood, and their bodies.
Kearn moaned when he eased his hard length into her and she joined him, releasing a long sighing groan of satisfaction. He drew back and then slid in again, his pace slow and threatening to drive her as crazy as his finger had.
The connection between them deepened and their feelings became one. It was dizzying to have him like this, to feel everything that he could and know it was a reflection of her own feelings. She loved him more than anything and never wanted to be apart from him. She wanted this to last forever.
Kearn wrapped his arms around her, settling one in the arch of her back to hold her to him, and hooking his other hand over her shoulder. He moved slowly and deeply, and each thrust heightened her feelings and their connection a little more, until she was drowning in a warm hazy sea of bliss and she didn’t care.
Amber kissed along his jaw and found his mouth. She lost herself there, drifting along with him at a slow pace, memorising every moment of being with him. Everything disappeared, melting away until there was only Kearn and nothing else. There was no coming battle. There was no fear of the future. There was only him and this moment, together with her in bliss and love.
Her heartbeat slowed even as her desire rose, her body tightening with need and arousal. She hooked her legs over his hips and he deepened his thrusts, moving slowly into her. She groaned and kissed him. Kearn pulled her close to him and her heart beat hard. It felt as though his had beaten at the same time.
She drew back. He smiled, as though he knew her silent question.
“My heart,” he whispered and kissed her again. It was all the explanation he gave. Did their connection now run so deeply that their bodies were one, their hearts beating in time and their breathing in synchronisation? It was incredible.
Amber drifted away again, lost in the feel of him moving inside her, and the growing tightness in her abdomen. His kisses grew more desperate and she could feel he was as close as she was, reaching for his climax. Amber tensed her body around his and he groaned into her mouth. He thrust deep into her, brushing her sensitive flesh, and she came undone, her body trembling around his. Warmth ran in her veins, sedating her and carrying her away.
Kearn moved slower, deeper, and then stilled and moaned with his climax.
Amber wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him to her, relaxing into the bed with him on top of her, still intimately entwined. He sighed and kissed her lips, her cheek, her throat, before settling his head on the pillow besides hers. His breath caressed her throat, tickling his marks there.
“Sleep a while.” She could feel his fatigue running through her blood. He sighed again. She stroked her fingers through the silver threa
ds of his hair, her focus wholly on him.
She waited for him to protest and leave, but he didn’t. He remained in her arms, his weight heavy but nice against her, and his body acting as her blanket. She would never be cold when he was this close to her.
Amber closed her eyes and tried not to think about what was coming.
She wanted to savour every drop of this moment with him.
She didn’t want it to be their last.
She wouldn’t let it be.
CHAPTER 31
Kearn’s gaze scanned the room for what felt like the millionth time. The three male Venators he had assigned to remain with him stood at the other end of the black reception room, dressed in their black uniforms just as he was. One of them paced near the door to the gallery while the other two stared out of the windows into the dark night. It felt as though the whole house was on edge, awaiting the impending attack but never knowing when it would begin. Amber’s weariness and fear ran in Kearn’s blood, flowing strongly and calling to him. He turned to her, offering a comforting smile when she looked up at from him the gold couch to his right.
His mother sat next to her, holding Amber’s hand, gently chafing it.
He went to Amber and she held her left hand out to him. His mother released her as he took hold of her hand and pulled her into his arms. He held her close, one arm wrapped around her waist as his other hand held her head to his chest. Her fear abated a sliver when he stroked her long brown hair, toying with her ponytail, and he closed his eyes, sending her a wave of reassurance through their bond.
He refused to feel scared, or any amount of fear. He needed to be strong for Amber, so she would sense it in his blood and her own fear would lessen.
Amber drew back, away from him enough that he could look down into her hazel eyes. He grazed the backs of his fingers across her cheek and her eyes closed, and she leaned into his caress. She was beautiful. His Amber. His love. The marks on her throat were visible above the low-slung collar of her black hooded top. He trailed his fingers down to them and stroked the marks, feeling the pronounced bumps. It would be weeks before they had healed and even then they would remains as scars. She would always be his.
Forbidden Blood (Vampire Venators Romance Series) Page 34