Normally, Georgia would not have stepped into a graveyard after dusk for anything. Tonight was different, tonight she had the feeling they would be much safer sheltering here amongst the dead, than they would be amongst the living. Still she felt the tiniest shiver of apprehension scuttle down her back. She took a few more steps and suddenly something bumped against her leg. It took all her will power not to scream.
‘Millie you idiot,’ she whispered when she was capable of speech again. She moved silently through the graveyard coming to a small shed. Behind the structure, she could just make out a small patch of lawn, with bushes and a few trees between her and the road. Perfect, she thought as she hurried back to the children.
‘Okay, I have found somewhere we can rest for a few minutes, and get changed. There doesn’t seem to be anyone around and we still need to be really quiet, but I think if we talk very softly it will be okay, but all of you keep your ears open for any sounds.’ She sensed, rather than saw them nodding their heads.’
They spent the next ten minutes or so changing into day clothes. She helped Deedee into her jeans as Rebecca and Jamie hunted through the pile for their clothing.
‘Oh, these jeans aren’t mine,’ Jamie said in a low voice, they are way too big.’
‘They must be mine,’ Rebecca whispered. Silently they exchanged clothes as Georgia wriggled into her jeans, pulling the zip firmly up, remembering that sound, and feeling sick. Don’t think about it, but it was like the bugs in the bath, she could no more not think about it than fly.
She kept seeing him there before her, his balled up fists and hateful words, the way he had toppled forward, and the horrible noises.
She began unbuttoning her top, pulling it off and rolling the sodden fabric up into a tight ball. She could tell that some of his blood had soaked through onto her skin, across her breasts and her stomach, but, there was nothing she could do about that now. She would have to wait until she could see what she was doing, and wash.
She drew in her breath sharply, her revulsion suddenly swept aside by an alarming realization, the water bottles. They had no water with them! She had left the containers lined up on the kitchen bench, ready to be filled with the water she had boiled earlier.
She was about to say something to the children when Deedee interrupted her. ‘I need to go potty,’ then she added, ‘I need to go real bad.’
‘Well, you are going to have to go out here somewhere,’ Georgia said gently, as she peered around, looking for a suitable place. ‘How about over there, by that tree?’
‘Outside?’ Deedee said, shock in her voice, ‘that is disgusting.’
Georgia bit her tongue, what had been about to come out of her mouth had not been very nice, instead she said, ‘there isn’t a toilet near here, so there isn’t a lot of choice.’
‘You have to come with me,’ Deedee said. ‘Mummy says I am never to go to the toilet, in a strange place, by myself.’
‘That made sense,’ Georgia thought, she always went with Rebecca, if nature called while they were out shopping, and she would stand outside the stall, bristling at anyone who came near. Together they made their way over to the tree. She waited until she heard the stream of liquid from Deedee’s direction, then needing to go herself, squatted down a little further away.
‘There isn’t any toilet paper,’ Deedee called out loudly, startling Georgia, her disembodied voice seeming to reverberate all around.
‘Keep your voice down,’ Georgia hissed.
‘Sorry I forgot,’ Deedee whispered through the blackness.
‘We don’t have any; you’ll have to use some leaves. That’s what I did.’
‘But there might be bugs,’ Deedee’s said.
‘Hang on, I’ll come and find you something suitable.’
It was only once Deedee had been persuaded that it was okay to use leaves, because as everyone knows, toilet paper was made from them (well it was almost true), that they were able to return to the others.
‘Does anyone else need to go?’ Georgia asked as she knelt down and began folding, and then rolling the blanket up, moving a very disgruntled Ant out of the way.
‘I don’t need to,’ Rebecca said.
‘Badger didn’t follow us,’ Jamie said, and as he spoke, Georgia realized that she had not seen Badger since they had crossed the road. Badger knew she had to sit at the curb until given the command to cross and she had apparently learned that lesson really well. Georgia felt a pang of guilt, why didn’t I think to give her the ‘cross’ command. Was she just sitting by the side of the road, waiting for them?
‘I am sorry, but we can’t risk going back for her Jamie. She could be anywhere. You know how Badger is.’
‘I bet she stayed with Zeus,’ Rebecca said.
‘Well then she will be fine,’ Georgia continued, not believing a word she was saying. ‘Zeus will look after her.’ She bent over the pack, wishing she could actually see what she was doing. Finally, she found the ends of the straps and clipped them together over the blanket roll, then gave the end a quick tug, securing it tightly in place.
‘A good thing there aren’t any cars working,’ Deedee said, ‘at least Badger won’t get run over. Toots got run over by a big truck you know.’
‘Who’s Toots?’ Rebecca asked.
‘Toots was my cat, silly, but she went and got run over and isn’t my cat any more. Mummy says she is God’s cat now.’
Suddenly, Georgia was filled with an overwhelming desire to cry, the enormity of events hitting her hard, tears welled up in her eyes and she was grateful for the darkness, grateful that the children could not see them streaming down her face. They had all been so close to being with God right now.
‘What are we going to do now?’ Rebecca asked.
‘Well’, Georgia said, desperately trying to keep her voice sounding normal, ‘I think we need to keep moving. Start walking to Grandma Johnson’s house. I know none of you have had much sleep…,’
Jamie interrupted her, ‘I am not tired at all.’
‘Nor me,’ Rebecca agreed.
‘I don’t like walking,’ Deedee said, but I don’t like it here very much. It’s a bit creepy.’
Having said they needed to keep moving, Georgia found herself hesitating. She knew they had to get back on the road but part of her was terrified, the kids might be handling this in their stride, but she felt nearly paralyzed with fear. Fear of taking a decision that would cost them all their lives.
For the first time in her life, there was no one to ask for advice and no one to turn to. What made it harder was that there was no previous, similar event, to base a judgment on. This truly was a case of learning as you go, and again she thought of that expression. Failure is not an option.
They had to make a move soon, she realized, because otherwise, in spite of their assurances that they were not tired, the kids would fall asleep, and she might fall asleep. She stood up.
‘Wait here,’ she said, and this time there was no protest. ‘I will be right back.’ She walked over to the far edge of the graveyard, to the point where she knew she would be able to see down Warnall road, and the direction they would be taking. The darkness was really beginning to bug her.
She cocked her head to listen. Deedee was right, it was really creepy. There was absolutely no sign of life anywhere.
Twenty minutes later, they were winding their way down the hill back onto the road. Rebecca was pulling the shopping caddy and Jamie carried her bag, she was impressed that they had organized that between themselves.
They would, she decided keep to the road for now, that way it would be easier to see where they were going. It seemed deserted, apart from the occasional abandoned car, and an amazing amount of trash and stuff that was scattered everywhere. It looked like the aftermath of a football match, the sort with hooligans instead of spectators.
She was thankful that she had taken the time earlier that day to look at the road map. She knew that they would have to stick to the road for the
next nine or ten miles, after that, she was a bit hazy, but she did not think there was a chance in hell they would get that far. It would be daylight by the time she would need to look at it again.
She had absolutely no idea where they would stop to sleep, but she knew they would have to sleep sometime, and they would have to find somewhere safe to do that. She recalled that there was a large tract of bush somewhere further up, but was not certain how far that was. If they reached it before daybreak, she would take the children in there. The bush was much safer.
As they walked, she tried to think of other places that they would pass by, places that might be of some help. At the top of the rise just over a mile away they would pass a Goodwill store and a little further, was the vet they used to go to.
She thought about Goodwill, she was sure that it had been vandalized, as everywhere else seemed to have been, but she clung to the hope that, possibly, just maybe, there would be a chance to get some sort of water containers there. However, where to get water was going to be a real issue. Water containers would be a start, and maybe some shoes that would actually fit Deedee better than Rebecca’s did.
‘Are we nearly there?’ Deedee asked.
Rebecca started to say something, and Georgia nudged her arm. She went silent.
‘No honey, not yet, but it is not too much further.’ She did not have the heart to tell her how far it was. It was better this way, better for Deedee to think it was just around the corner.
They continued to pick their way along in the darkness. For the first time ever Georgia began to think that Ant was really heavy, at least she was no longer struggling with the blanket, but she wished she had thought to bring her carry bag. She had been managing easily at first, but once they started walking up the slow rise towards Western Hills, the pack began to feel heavy, the straps dug into her shoulders and the shotgun kept banging her hip. She had to stop several times to catch her breath. This was not going to be easy.
The children did not complain, in fact they barely spoke, and then Deedee said what all of them, were no doubt thinking. ‘I am thirsty.’
‘I am sorry Deedee,’ Georgia said, ‘but we don’t have anything to drink. I left the water bottles at home.’
‘But I am thirsty,’ she said again.
‘I will see what we can do, but for now, there isn’t anything to drink.’
‘But I am thirsty now, and I want a drink now!’ To emphasis her point, she threw her bag on the ground and then kicked it across the pavement. ‘I want a drink right now,’ she repeated, and this time it was at the top of her voice.
‘You stop that immediately,’ Georgia hissed as she grabbed Deedee by the arm and gave her a rough shake.
‘I want a drink,’ she screamed.
Fear flooded through Georgia. Surely, her screams were going to attract unwanted attention. Her mouth felt dry as she tried to calm Deedee down. She awkwardly knelt down, momentarily losing her balance because of the weight of her pack. Ant wriggled free and leapt down to the ground.
‘Listen Deedee, we are all very thirsty and we all…,’
‘I don’t care ‘bout anyone else, you get me a drink now,’ Deedee shrieked at her.
Rebecca and Jamie stood frozen on the sidewalk next to them, stunned by Deedee’s behavior.
In sheer desperation and panic, Georgia drew back her hand, wanting to slap Deedee, but at the last minute, with monumental self-control she managed to stop herself.
She heard a sharp intake of breath from Deedee. ‘You’re just stupid, Mummy wouldn’t have forgotten the drinks.’ her voice was steadily rising.
Exasperated, she brought her face right up to Deedee’s. ‘Stop this right now! Is that understood? You are putting us all in danger.’ She struggled to keep her voice low, but the anger was clear in her tone.
‘But,’
‘There is no but, how many times tonight have I said we need to be quiet?’ She was so angry, the built up tension and terror of the night escaping like hot steam. ‘All we own in the world is in our bags, and you just kicked yours across the road, throwing one of your temper tantrums. If something breaks, we cannot just go buy another one.’ Georgia was on a roll now. ‘I will not,’ she continued, ‘and I repeat, not, tolerate that kind of behavior ever again. That might have worked at home with your mum, but it isn’t going to work here with me.’
Unbelievably Deedee started up again. ‘You are not my mummy and you don’t tell me what to do, and you can’t make me do anything.’ Then, shockingly, with her free hand she slapped Georgia across the face.
Georgia heard Rebecca gasp.
It was a bad tempered slap and probably if her cheek hadn’t been puffed up and bruised and her lip split, it wouldn’t have hurt that badly, but it was all of those things, and it stung like hell. This is what happens when you don’t bring children up to respect anything or anyone, when you let them rule the family.
‘Now I have had enough,’ Georgia hissed. She slipped off her pack and started undoing the top straps.
‘What are you doing?’ Rebecca asked, now cradling Ant in her arms.
‘I think Deedee is right. I am not her mother and I don’t have the right to tell her what to do. Nor am I obliged to take care of her. So I am going to give her a share of the food and she can continue on her own. I am not prepared to put all our lives in danger because of her behavior.’
She sensed Deedee stiffen next to her. ‘But I don’t know the way home from here,’ Deedee said.
‘Maybe you should have thought about that before you slapped me.’ Georgia said. ‘Go back the way we came, and when you reach the big church, you turn left. You do know which way is left don’t you?’
Deedee said nothing, and in the gloom Georgia saw understanding cross Jamie’s face.
‘It’s that hand,’ Jamie said, reaching over and touching Deedee’s left hand. Deedee was not screaming or yelling now.
‘But it’s dark,’ her voice had a little quaver in it, ‘and I will be all by myself.’
Georgia closed up Deedee’s knapsack and handed it to her.
Then she pulled on her own pack again, took Ant from Rebecca’s arms and turned her back on Deedee.
‘Okay Rebecca, Jamie, let’s go.’ She started walking, tapping her leg to call Millie by her side.
Rebecca and Jamie fell in, next to her, and they took a few steps up the road.
‘We are not really going to leave her?’ Rebecca asked in a low voice.
‘Of course she isn’t,’ Jamie whispered back. They walked a little further and after a minute, she paused and turned to look over her shoulder. Deedee seemed frozen in place.
‘You still there Deedee?’ She made her voice sound surprised.
Deedee was silent.
They had walked a few more yards when suddenly they heard Deedee running up behind them. ‘Wait, don’t leave me.’ Her voice sounded scared and breathless.
As Deedee reached them, Georgia turned to her.
‘So, do you want to walk to Mummy on your own, or are you going to behave yourself in a civilized manner and keep quiet when I tell you too?’
‘Want to come with you,’ she said in a very quiet voice.
‘And are you going to behave yourself?’
‘Uh huh.’ she said, and then added unprompted. ‘I promise I will, just don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me, and I’m sorry I hit you.’
Georgia felt broken inside; she pulled Deedee’s trembling form into her arms and gave her a long hug, stroking her back soothingly.
‘Okay,’ she whispered, ‘we better keep going and hopefully we will find something to drink soon.’
Oh God, please let us find something to drink. She tried to quell the panic that was beginning to rise. She felt the whole huge continent of North America surround her, closing in on her and a line from Coleridge’s poem, ‘water, water, everywhere and not a drop to drink’, started going round and round in her mind.
They had crossed over several streams alrea
dy. However without the means to boil the water, it may as well have been sludge. Nathan had drummed that into her. ‘You cannot drink the water straight out of the rivers here,’ he had told her.
They had been married for about three weeks. It was one of those hot Indian summer days, unbearably humid and she had suggested going for a swim in the Mississippi. He had nearly had a nervous breakdown. Anyone would have thought she was suggesting swimming in shark infested waters.
‘No, no, no, you absolutely cannot go into that water.’
She was bewildered. ‘Come on,’ she thought, ‘this is the Mississippi.’ And wow, just the idea was wildly exciting. To be able to say to family, ‘oh well, when I was swimming in the Mississippi.’ The very thought of that river, the absolute epitome of the south, fevered the imagination.
‘Well I won’t drink it,’ she had promised, ‘just swim in it.’
He had driven her down to see it for herself and she was devastated to find that it was not at all how she had imagined it. The water was a thick muddy color, with swirls of foam building up in places along the bank. They had stood looking at it, his fingers intertwined with hers. ‘You cannot swim in it’, he said, ‘it is way too polluted, and you could get sick if you accidently swallowed some of it.’
‘Can’t be that bad,’ she thought, and it seemed as though he read her mind because he added, ‘This isn’t Australia, where you can drink straight out of the rivers.’
‘There’s a coke machine in Western Hills.’ Jamie said suddenly, out of the darkness.
‘There is?’ Rebecca asked, ‘where?’
‘Right outside Goodwill, remember when we went with Dad last week, to look for a sofa, he bought us each a coke.’
‘Oh, yes.’
Was that really only last week? Unbelievable, it seemed like a lifetime ago.
Survivors of the Sun Page 9