“Taint!” she bellowed, causing a tussle to go on behind us and her to shout, “Pussy!”
If I was sober, the fact that my family knew what I was about to do to her would have made me change my direction to our house, but again – alcohol makes you into a braindead twat. There was also the issue of our security being everywhere, but because I was drunk, I truly had zero fucks to give. They would make sure they didn‘t see any of it themselves, anyway.
Gently setting her to the ground in front of me, I lowered my mouth to kiss her. I was already horny, but a second after I started kissing her, it went from horny to an explosion. All that mattered was getting inside her.
Pushing her back against a tree, I caught the bottom of her dress and shucked it up around her waist quickly as her hands worked on my belt and then my zipper.
“Hurry,” she moaned.
Never one to not give my pretty girl what she wanted, I did just that and fisted both sides of her panties in my hands before pulling and ripping them off her.
I still had the presence of mind to check that she was ready. I mean, I knew that I was, but she needed to be too. That all went to shit when she hopped up and wrapped her legs around my waist, then reached down and swept the head of my dick through her pussy, coating the head in her wetness.
“Oh fuck,” I groaned, balancing us against the tree behind her. “I…I…” what the fuck was I saying? “I need to…”
“Fuck me,” she pulled her mouth away from my neck where she’d been kissing and sucking to say.
Those words became the only ones in the head on my shoulders, and the one on my dick - he really fixated on them. On the next sweep that she did with my cock, I pushed into her.
Both of us let out deep groans as I retreated out of her slightly and then slammed back into her, hitting the end of her on that thrust. Tight, hot, wet heaven surrounded me. I wanted to just let go, but at the same time I didn’t. Every time I was inside her felt like it was the first – I knew I loved it, I knew why I loved it, but I couldn’t remember every detail of the feeling and perfection of it by memory alone.
“Why do I feel so desperate?” she panted against my mouth as she dragged her sharp nails down my back. If I hadn’t had my t-shirt on, I would have been sporting claw marks for days. As it was, even with the t-shirt on, I had no doubt that there would be marks, just less severe ones. “We only did this an hour before the party.”
And we had – in the shower. I’d walked in to ask her a question, a soapy sud had hung from a nipple and the next thing I had her in this position, except against the tiled shower wall.
“That was shower sex,” I got out, before I pulled the top of her dress down and latched onto a nipple. Reluctantly giving it up when she yanked on my hair to bring my mouth back up to hers, I explained, “This is tree shaking sex.”
The sound of Tate yelling that he had to take a piss to the rest of the family made us both freeze for a moment which was unfortunate because I’d just pulled back to power back in again. He sounded close to us and I was now stuck with the first inch of my cock inside her tight heaven.
I was just turning my head to check if I could see him when she pulled a sneaky snatch move on me and squeezed her Kegels as tight as she could. That was it, I lost control and thrust back into her. Both hands were filled with her butt cheeks, and the tree behind her was providing good resistance allowing me to reach as far into her as possible. With each thrust I hit the end of her, making both of us groan each time.
Her panting and screams kept powering me on, and before I knew it, she had her teeth locked in my shoulder and was spasming around me as I came inside her too. My movements were jerky as I continued to thrust into her, drawing it out until there was no more left in me.
Just as the euphoria began to leave, there was an “oof” from the other side of the trees and the sound of a body falling into foliage.
“Little fucker,” Tate hissed, followed by more leaves rustling and him spitting stuff out of his mouth. “I see you smiling at me thinking you won, but my piss is like acid. It’s fueled by Absinthe, the most mightiest of…aww a squirrel!”
As we listened to him trying to coax the rodent to come back, I lowered Sonya back down and tried to get us both presentable again. Once we were as good as it was going to get, I was hit by a wave of love almost as strong as the orgasm I’d just had and took her face in my hands.
“I never thought I’d find someone who made me feel like you do. I figured it would just be a strong liking, not a soul deep loving.” Her eyes softened as she took in what I was saying. “It confused the hell out of me, and you became someone that I had to be around. Your personality, your beauty,” I stroked the side of her cheek and absorbed the features of her face. I’d knew that I’d never forget even one little line, but it didn’t mean that I couldn’t keep appreciating it all. “Everything that’s you, it all became something that I wanted to hold on to for the rest of my life in a short space of time. Being away from you while we sorted Brett’s shit out was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, but it allowed me to get to know you deeper than I ever imagined. I’m so honored that you are blessing me with being the man to call you his and allowing me to hold you for the rest of my life.”
The words hadn’t been planned, and they weren’t slurred or fueled by the alcohol that I’d consumed. They were just everything that I felt for her and had to be said so that if she ever had a moment's doubt, she’d have that reassurance that she was my world. They also didn’t touch upon what I truly felt for her, no words ever could, but they were a start and I had the rest of my life to find the others.
The moment was of course ruined by Tate.
“I gotcha you little bugger.”
Giving her a soft kiss, I led her back out to my family who were now riding on a bucking bronco that was obviously in the shape of a penis. Sitting through every member of my family, including my grandparents, riding the thing was helped by the alcohol that was flowing freely. It also helped Tate who was cuddling what he thought was the squirrel he’d been chasing but was in fact Grams missing slipper. She’d been chasing after Gramps after she found out the truth about her signed copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and had thrown it at him. We’d searched for an hour but had never found it. Now, it was snuggled up against his chest, even as he rode the bucking cock-o.
“Jesus, that woman can ride like a pro,” Gramps sighed as he sat down beside me and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “I taught her everything she knows though, so I’m not surprised.” Please let him be talking about her actually riding a bull. Just, please. “We got one of those bench things off of Bon d’Age,” he continued, talking about the website that he thought was aimed at old people, but was, in fact, a kinky adult’s site. So far, he’d bought a couple of sex swings, paddles, and butt plugs, and was using them as normal, run-of-the-mill objects. Walking past your grandparents pushing each other in the sex swing changed you for life. “It’s in the spare room. When one of us has a sore back, we just bend over it and the other one works the kinks out.” Gag! “When she wants to ride her horse, but he’s being a dick, she sits on it and pretends.” Fucking old people. Double gag! “And when she said she wanted to learn to ride a bull last week, I popped her on top of it and taught her everything I knew.” And fuck it, I’m outta here! Just as I made a move to get up, he said the one thing that had me freezing in place. “Hey, did y’all avoid the poison oak patch in the trees? That caught me and Lindee out years ago.”
Oh fuck, what had I done?
Chapter 5
Sonya
I t was now three days after the combined bachelor-bachelorette party and I was trying on my dress for the wedding. Once again, I breathed a sigh of relief that Tom’s freak out about poison oak - which led to me being dragged into a shower and soaped to within an inch of my life – hadn’t been true. At least, not for us. Taint, on the other hand, had poison oak all over his arms. This also meant that because he’d touched it
before going to the bathroom in the bushes, he had it on his penis. He also had it on his face from cuddling Grams slipper. The guy was a walking mess.
“Let me see,” Layla yelled, again, from the other side of the fitting room doors.
“No!” I meant it too. I wanted this to be the most memorable day of our lives. It was Halloween themed, and I was going all out. I’d even booked a team of specialist makeup artists to come in and make sure that my makeup was perfect, as well as putting in some temporary hair extensions so that the effect was as dramatic as possible.
“You’re such a mean bitch,” she snapped as I took the dress off and put it back into the protective cover. Beside it hung the cloak that I was going to keep on until the last second. It was a total contrast to my dress and looked just like Little Red Riding Hoods.
Once I was dressed again, I opened the door and walked out with both over my arm. Thanking the lady who had organized it all for me, I ignored Layla’s bitching behind me and walked over to the car that was waiting for us.
“Where to?” the new guy asked. I had a long list of the security men that I referred to as ‘new guy’ because Coleman and the Montgomery’s head of security had teamed together to watch over us. This meant an influx of ‘new guy’s’ to the team as there were way more Townsends than there were Montgomerys.
“Home, please.” I needed a nap badly. I’d been feeling crappy since the party the other night. Maybe I had Absinthe poisoning – was that possible?
“You could at least have shown me,” Layla started up again once we were on our way. “I would show you.”
“How’s Taint’s taint?” I changed the subject.
“Driving him nuts,” she snorted. The guy driving us shifted uncomfortably, probably in sympathy. Turns out, Taint had quite the allergy to poison oak, so he was now the latest Tainted-Townsend. What was it with these guys and injuring their junk?
It didn’t take us long to get home, by which point the new guy was looking desperate to get rid of us. You discuss period pains, taints and the best hairstyle for your vagina and a man freaks out. Pussy!
Getting out and retrieving the dress from the trunk, we had just gotten up the porch stairs when Ren came out of the door looking pale.
“You okay?” Layla was the one to ask because I was trying to not drop the ten tons of material I was carrying. “Oh shit, did Dante go back to psycho?” she gasped taking a step back just in case my tiny cat had returned to his former asshole self. How something so small could cause so much damage was still beyond me. “I told you that no man stayed docile after you cut his balls off. Think about it,” she yelled at me. “If someone cut your twat off, you’d have something to say once you recovered. Wouldn’t you?”
“Maya’s pregnant,” Ren finally spoke up, saving me from more lecturing. “She’s pregnant. You know, like in here?” he gestured to his stomach.
Where did he assume we were thinking it was? In her ass?
“Oh shit,” Layla gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. What was the big deal? “She’s going to kill you. Does she know?”
Ren’s head snapped in her direction and he let go of the shock. “Of course, she knows. It’s her fucking vagina, isn’t it? What kind of fucking dumb question is that?”
“Well, I don’t know! Ebru doesn’t know yet, so I wasn’t sure if the same shit had happened with Maya. Don’t yell at me, you big fat tit!” Layla lost her control and screamed back.
I was about to ask the obvious question when we heard a shriek from inside the house.
“What don’t I know, asshole? What don’t I know?” There was some mumbling and a scuffle, followed by, “I’m what? Oh no, no, no, no! You’re lying. Tell me you’re lying!”
Two seconds later, the door slammed open and Ebru shot out looking murderous. She didn’t even acknowledge us as she stormed past and headed toward her house. She did, however, take a brief second to turn back, shoot the birdy and blow a raspberry in our direction, not tripping once.
“I’m a dead man,” a new voice muttered behind me. Turning back around, I took in Cole who was still watching his wife’s march home.
“I’m so confused,” I got out after the sound of a door slamming shut in the distance broke me out of my contemplation of the men standing in front of me. “How did she not know?” That was only my first question and was aimed at Cole.
Wincing, he leaned against the wall and looked down at his feet. “She took the test as a joke the day after the party. She was feeling sick and said it was a hangover, and I jokingly said to do a test. I kinda have a couple just in case,” he added sheepishly. This family was so freaking weird. “Anyway, Louis was crying in his crib and she ran out to get him and forgot about the test. I went to take a leak and saw the result on the screen…” he trailed off and looked quickly over at Layla who was trying not to laugh. “Glad you find it funny, bitch tit.”
Knowing that these two could argue for hours, I asked my new question. “So, how didn’t she know it was positive?”
Even Ren looked confused by the story, so it was good to know I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t figure this shit out logically.
“I hid it,” Cole replied so quickly that it all became one word and took a second to make sense of. Getting tired of being stared at and trying to shift the blame, he pointed at Ren. “And this guy knocked his wife up too.”
“Hey, I didn’t hide that shit from her. I didn’t even know,” Ren fumed back with his fists clenched at his sides.
“How did she find out?” Layla asked.
She’d made herself comfortable on a rocking chair at some point and was swaying back and forth as she enjoyed the shit storm that was now her brothers lives. It must be a sibling thing. Then again, if Layla was knocked up, I’d be taking great enjoyment in it too. That was a bitch thing to think, and I felt no guilt admitting that whatsoever. I knew who she had been in love with since she was a kid, and if she got pregnant her family’s response would be fabulous. I’d only seen them together a handful of times, but they were perfectly matched and would make the most beautiful babies.
Could someone get pregnant if you begged the world hard enough?
The sound of footsteps coming closer from inside the house had Ren looking nervously at the door which had shut itself again at some point.
“She had to go to the lady doctor today and when she gave over the cuppy of sissy,” he automatically changed back to daddy talk. How parents did this, I’ll never know. They went from being all normal to talking like a dick in seconds. Then again, I did the same when I spoke to animals. It was impossible to talk to one without putting on that special voice, and anyone who could was an alien. “They did a routine test on it and found out she was pregnant.”
“Continue asshole,” Maya yelled through the door. “Tell them the full story.”
Wincing and backing away from the door, he never took his eyes away from it as he did just that. “Because we didn’t know, they did a scan. She’s four months pregnant.”
The door flew open and one pissed off blonde woman came storming out. Ren turned on his heel, ran down the steps and around the side of the house.
“Pussy!” She screamed as she leaned over the side of the porch. When she swung back to face us, we all took a step back just in case. “Do you know what he said after that? Do you?” Why do people ask you that? We weren’t there, so how were we to know? “He said, and I quote, ‘Oh, I just thought it was the tacos and cake’. Tacos and cake?” she shrieked. “Like I eat a fuck ton of tacos and cake!”
Looking down at her top, I wisely kept quiet about the tacos and cake that she’d dropped on it at some point today. Layla wasn’t quite so smart.
“What’s on your sweater?”
Maya’s head pivoted slowly on her neck as she turned in Layla’s direction. Using the distraction wisely, I pushed Cole out of the way and dashed into the house and then up to the spare room. The dress weighed a ton and was a one of a kind, so getting blood on it
would have been a disaster. I probably could have worked it into the look I was going for, but I would have preferred not to.
Once I’d dragged out hanging it up in the closet, giving the unhappy pregnant lady enough time to either beat Layla to a pulp or find someone new to do it to, I headed back downstairs.
As always, my kitten Dante was sitting on Tom’s turkey’s back, kneading his feathers like it was a fluffy blanket. Cole and Ebru’s son was lying on his back on the floor kicking his legs excitedly at the toy that Tom was wiggling around for him. Taint was sitting on the couch, legs akimbo, watching it all.
“Where are the others?” Normally, where there was one, there was all of them. Taint’s brothers and sister weren’t here all the time as they had work to do for the oil company that the Townsends owned. Taint had decided to stay because he was good at shooting and wanted to be the guy to shoot the person who had a personal vendetta against the Townsends. His plan was to aim for the butt seeing as how that had now happened twice to members of the family. ‘A cheek for a cheek’ he called it.
“Cole will be back in two minutes for this guy,” Taint explained, shifting painfully. “The others are at their own houses, hiding.”
Looking back at Tom, I was about to ask what he wanted for dinner tonight when a loud, wet fart sounded. I turned to lay into Taint, but the look of horror on his face stalled the lecture about audible ass functions in its tracks.
“Why is his face doing that?” he got slowly to his feet and pointed. “What the fuck is that?”
I looked down thinking it was Tom that he was talking about and saw how red and bulgy the baby’s face was.
“Is he choking on something?” Tom panicked as he reached out to touch the baby, changing his mind immediately when he saw the brown stain begin to spread through the sides of his onesie.
It only took seconds for it to start flowing out of the little leg gaps onto the blanket under the baby and for the smell to hit.
Providence Series Books 5-7 Page 35