Last Man She'd Love

by Summerita Rhayne

  ‘Yea, Uncle Jashith. I was trying to show him how to hook a left and then we didn’t realize the cake was so near.’

  Both boys apologized with rare grace.

  ‘I guess I owe you an apology too,’ Lyna said.

  ‘They’re exaggerating. Nothing much happened.’

  ‘Ah, and you’re ashamed to admit you got hit by a kid’s bat.’

  He glowered at her.

  Lyna said, ‘I wonder why your sock bulges at the ankle. I think I should have a look.’

  ‘No,’ Guy said unequivocally.

  Lyna sighed exasperated. ‘You haven’t grown up all that much if you don’t know you should have a wound tended to. You shouldn’t have danced on that ankle. I can see a distinct swelling and it’ll probably get worse in a tight shoe. Take it off.’

  ‘At an occasion like this? I’m off to take care of my guests – Ouch!’ The last came because Lyna bent down from her chair and prodded the ankle. Guy didn’t look pleased at giving himself away.

  Disgusted, Lyna got up. ‘Ok then suffer here if you like the party so much!’

  Guy looked after her and realized that Savika had witnessed much of the exchange. She sat down near him and lifted the edge of his pants. ‘Oh for God’s sake! Give it a rest, Savika. I don’t want everybody asking me about it.’

  ‘I get you. Who’d want to advertise they danced on a twisted ankle and made a fool of themselves over their fiancée? I didn’t know you had a romantic streak, Guy. Dancing with Lyna in spite of your injured foot. I swear I’m going to be mushy and sobbing in a minute.’

  ‘It wasn’t a twisted ankle. I didn’t make a fool of myself over her and I don’t have a romantic streak. And you don’t need to go all mushy. It was only to save her getting spinned out of her mind by those guys.’

  ‘Spun.’ Savika corrected. ‘That’s even more romantic.’ She sighed and actually fished out a hanky from her purse. ‘Oh, I didn’t know my bro had it in him.’ She dabbed carefully at the corner of her eyes. ‘You’ll have me spoiling my make up.’

  ‘Look, it’s nothing like that.’ He frowned. ‘You’re taking it out of proportion.’

  ‘Out of proportion? Anyone can see you love her, Jashith! And you two get along so well. You’re so perfect for her and she –’

  ‘I’m not.’ Guy got up, winced and sat down again. Annoyed now at both accounts, his sister and his ankle, he scowled. ‘I’m the wrongest guy she could meet.’

  This time she didn’t correct his grammar. ‘Jashith, is everything okay?’

  Her dark eyes were wide and fixed at him, her concern palpable. He made an irritated movement as though he didn’t wish to explain, then sighed and let it off his chest. ‘Savika, I think you should know the truth. The others, I don’t care that they get the wrong idea, but you have to know, though don’t spread it aboard. We – Lyna and I – are not really engaged. It was only so Dadu wouldn’t get upset at the video. I was already low in his estimation and hearing from him after years…I couldn’t bear that he’d think – that he’d have to face the neighbours being nosy… well, anyway, I asked Lyna to come here and act as my fiancée. I am attracted to her and maybe I did get carried away. But you know Mummy. How can she adjust…?’

  ‘Mummy isn’t the most amiable of people, we both know that, Jashith.’

  He shook his head. ‘I know. But how can I expect Lyna to –’ He stopped.

  ‘To face what you’d had to all these years,’ Savika completed quietly.

  ‘I couldn’t offer anything to any woman knowing it might come to this. Lyna’s already borne a lot. Mummy hasn’t disappointed from what I expected of her.’ His mouth twisted. ‘All day yesterday I listened to Dadu ranting about her. His patience is growing thin. She’s creating her own troubles. I wished I could tell her, but I know she would never listen to me, of all people.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, I think she can’t help herself sometimes.’ Savika bit her lip. ‘I know she had something to do with all your rows with Dadu. She accused you of cooking accounts the first time you left the house. That I know.’ Her eyes misted. ‘If I could have done anything…’

  ‘You were so little then...what could you do?’

  ‘You got offended when Dadu asked you the details and you refused to say anything in your defense. So like you. And then that Sara thing.’

  ‘Dadu knows the truth about both...don’t ask me how...he’s been digging around. He went over to the village and talked to our last accountant. And he’s been talking to Mrs. Reddy. But that’s just what won’t serve.’

  Savika sat absorbing it all. Then put out her hand on his arm impulsively. ‘This can’t go on. Don’t stand for it.’

  ‘I don’t mind about myself. Yesterday, on the porch…’ He saw by her nod that she knew what he was talking about. ‘Before she left, I confronted her and told her she wasn’t to say anything about Lyna. It didn’t go down well with her. I can’t keep a watch on her all the time and even if we do work in the town, we’d have to spend a lot of time here. Lyna keeps calm now but how long before any woman has her powers of tolerance affected by this continuing hashing of her self-respect? Marriages break down because of less.’

  Savika said gently, ‘You can’t keep denying your feelings for long… Have you told her how you feel?’

  ‘How I feel?’

  Savika just looked at him and with a shock, he realized he’d been talking of long term…marriage, no less.

  ‘You need to talk it all out with her, Jashith. Tell her how you feel. That’s the best thing you can do.’ Savika patted his arm and left him to attend to her kids, leaving his heart pounding uncharacteristically fast, his fists clenching, muscles bunching as he came to terms with all that he had said that he didn’t realize he had locked up inside of him.

  Marriage? He’d began to use the word in his thoughts. Had said it aloud. The word had never figured in his dictionary. Desire. Sex. Bed. That was what he needed to think of. Lyna had to be an affair. Indulgence of a whim. There was no place of long term in his life.

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  Guy bit off an expletive as he made his way downstairs, avoiding putting weight on his left foot which made his steps uneven. Dadu always kept all the medicines in a cupboard, waking helpers all hours of night sometimes to go down and get some antacid or aspirin. He had faith in herbal medicine and believed they would lose their strength if the bottles were opened too many times. So the pills and bottles remained in the cupboard in an alcove off the sitting room and here he headed. He’d forgotten about his foot – or rather ignored it – but now it made him remember that he had to deal with the swelling and the pain or lead a restless night.

  Not that he had much hope of sleeping. The memory of how it felt to have Lyna in his arms danced in his mind, the feel of her long bare waist, her soft breasts embedded in his hands, her gaze, darkened to stormy blue with lust, locked onto his…

  He stopped short as he turned the corner into the room. As though his thoughts had conjured her up, she stood half inside the doors of the fateful cupboard. She turned as she heard his footstep. ‘Guy! What are you doing here? You should be in bed!’

  Yes, but not alone. It popped into his mind before he could speak. Her waist was no longer tantalizingly bare because of the low tied lehanga, nor her bust voluptuously outlined by the bodice she had worn earlier, but even the loose t shirt and tights she wore couldn’t stop the effect she had on his body. The room seemed suddenly too small and cut off from everyone else. Faint sound of laughter came from upstairs, reminding him of some guests who had chosen to stay over. A little bit of sanity returned.

  ‘I know what you’re looking for,’ she said, and he almost did a double take. ‘You go on up. I’ll bring you what you want.’

  Just bring yourself. He shook his head to get rid of the snide voice in his mind. He’d flirted openly with her often, teasing her, trying to see if she’d take him up on it and now, it was coming back to him. When he wanted to say all these t
hings to her, he had to shut his mouth and walk away from her.

  ‘How do you –’ He cleared his throat. ‘I’ll wait…you take what you want. Aren’t you feeling well?’

  Her limpid blue eyes looked at him with some amusement. ‘I’m not here for me, but for you. Now don’t get offended. I know it hurts your machismo to admit it, but – don’t worry, I don’t think anyone else noticed – you were limping by the time you climbed up the stairs. I changed and asked Savika where I could get some balm and painkillers.’

  ‘I don’t need you to play nurse.’

  ‘Ok, I’ll send the helper instead. He’s already keeping warm water in a bucket for you to dip your ankle in.’

  He grimaced. ‘Which I won’t. Lyna…’

  ‘Which you will. I know about ankles, okay? The one who dances wrong is actually the sufferer most of the time rather than the other way around. Of course, not so in your case. If I knew, I wouldn’t have worn the heels. I’m really sorry about this evening.’

  A smile made the corner of his mouth curve up. Unable to resist, he said, ‘I’m not.’

  She got his meaning and met his gaze evenly. ‘Even I’m not, if you’re talking about the kiss…more than a kiss…we were almost making out…’ She stared at him as though expecting him to lead the conversation somewhere. Hell, he shouldn’t have started it. He –

  ‘You want to take it further?’

  His breath stopped, trapped in his throat. He’d received many invitations, suggestive, sexy and open. But the insouciant way she stood and looked at him made him feel the night had suddenly changed and become infested with magic.

  He said honestly, ‘Very much. Too much.’ He laughed. ‘Hell, it’s all I have been thinking about since the party finished.’

  ‘But?’

  She’d sensed a but. He moved towards her, winced, tried again and she came towards him.

  ‘We’ll talk upstairs. You’d better get this tended to.’ Brooking no resistance, she gathered up the medication and shut the cupboard.

  Talk? What was there to talk about? Fifteen minutes later, having succumbed to her ministrations, including dipping his foot in warm water and swallowing the tablets she handed him, he glowered at her for treating him like a kid but lapsed into smiling tenderly as she assiduously applied the balm on the swelling with her soft touch.

  ‘So now I can feel like a real prince,’ he teased her, not really comfortable but unable to wean her away till she was totally satisfied she’d tended to him. She called to the helper to take away the things and came back to him, wiping her hands on one of the towels from his bathroom. The sight, uncomfortably intimate, made his mind go off on a tangent.

  ‘What are you thinking, Jashith?’

  His name sounded wonderful on her lips. What was he thinking of? He leaned back on the pillows, lifting his leg onto the bed. She came and sat down near him. Her words echoed in his mind. His body urged him to accept her invite. She wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it. How could he tell her…?

  ‘Things are getting too muddled,’ he said. ‘Engagement…the get-togethers, all the relatives coming here…’

  ‘I know we’re faking it.’

  ‘You are too sensible to fall for anyone.’

  ‘There was a time when I was… let’s say susceptible. It’s been a long time since I believed in forever.’

  ‘What happened?’ He leaned forward, absently circling her bracelet.

  ‘I know men don’t like to hear about exes of women they’re dating.’

  ‘I’m not most men. Hell, that sounds cheesy. Actually, I am like most men, but let’s talk about it anyway.’

  She looked down at his fingers, moving the bracelet forward and back. ‘Harish…that was his name. I was in college. He pretended it was long term. Maybe there were signs, I should have been practical…intelligent, not such a fool, I didn’t see them. It was a shock when he ended it.’

  His hand slipped to grip hers. ‘You weren’t a fool. He was.’

  She gazed at him, lifting a hand to his jaw to soften the grim set of his mouth. ‘I know you won’t pretend, Guy. I also know I can keep my eyes open and not weave fairytales in my head.’

  ‘That’s right. This engagement. It’s only make believe.’

  ‘I want only what is real. What you can offer me without strings.’

  His throat constricted. He should have been relieved. Instead, the sensation was peculiar. He held her gaze. ‘You take my breath away.’

  For answer, she leaned forward. He met her the rest of the way and found the fulfilment of her kiss, a kiss that began with a touch as soft as petals but increased in urgency till their mouths met with a fierce pressure. It fed its own response, a trigger pumping desire into his veins. He caught her, his mind shutting to everything except the feel of her in his arms, so focused in the unknown numerical of chemistry between them that he was unconscious of when they moved or how, but somehow, she was half on top of him, his hands underneath the loose t-shirt, exploring the curve of her waist and inching to the curve of her breast before sanity invaded momentarily.

  She was breathing fast, so fast he felt scared he’d rushed her too much, and kissed her slowly, with a tenderness he didn’t know he possessed. He felt the tremor of her body and his body tightened to aching aliveness. She stilled and he knew she felt the nudge of his arousal, straining between them.

  ‘Are you sure?’ His voice came out husky. He wasn’t sure he could have stopped but the soft flush of her cheeks, the shadowed glitter of her eyes, his hands aching to cup the breasts that thrust wantonly against his chest, made him think he was on the edge of a precipice of desire that would overtake his senses, that he needed to make sure of before he left all sanity behind.

  ‘Is this any time to ask?’ He heard the soft laugh in her voice and as though she’d given him the carte blanche, he let his hands move towards their goal, felt the soft swell of her curves fill his palms. He heard her gasp and smiled with satisfaction, meeting her widened gaze. If he had his way, she would gasp a lot this night.

  He shifted her to the bed, peeled off her t-shirt and let his mouth replace the touch of his hands. Her soft whimpers satisfied him while they made his body pulse, turgid with escalating need. He moved to let his hands traverse the soft skin of her stomach, moving down to pull the waistband of her tights. He heard her strangled gasp as he drew them down.

  He gazed down at her, absorbing the sight of her body, amusedly turning her back again towards him as she tried to hide from his devouring gaze.

  She looked at him with a mixture of honesty and shyness. ‘It’s a long time since I’ve been naked in front of a man.’

  ‘Nothing to be scared of…only proud.’ Tenderly, he traced the curves and indentations of her body. She tugged at his t shirt and he obliged, tossing it away, followed by his lowers.

  It was her turn to gaze, her eyes darkening to violet as she looked at him with unashamed pleasure. It popped into his mind…he’d never been this naked with a woman. The slow savoring eye contact, the consciousness of self and of her…All those years when he’d not found her...he’d been unconsciously looking for a connection…and this was it. Technique was forgotten...instinct took over. Instinct which made him touch her, intimately, first with his hands and then with his mouth, softly then more firmly, gauging from her shudder she liked it and liked intensely, feeling a response that blew him away. Instinct made him listen to her every inhalation till it turned to a gasp and sighing satisfaction.

  ‘Guy,’ she whispered, an unmistakable change in her voice, a sharp note that told him even before she uttered the words, causing him to harden even more if it was possible.

  His heart thudded furiously, blood pounding through his veins, as anticipation built up to unbearable. She opened to him, as naturally and instinctively, as though they had both been waiting for this moment since eons. He felt the heat of her, the connection of their bodies turning his mind to mush. He kept the pace slow at first, making her
squirm, and gasp, ‘Oh please!’ The soft sounds she made immediately acted on him and he increased the tempo.

  Without conscious knowledge, the pace picked up, her breath coming fast, as she moved with him, meeting his thrust as he drove her, enfolding him, sucking him in. He was driving hard now, sweat dampening his forehead, the heat and force of his arousal gathering to the breakpoint. Her body went rigid and then convulsed as she gave in, betrayed by broken inhalations. He let go almost immediately, shuddering above her in what had to be the longest climax of his life.

  He’d never felt like this.

  His body stilled and slumped. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, their heartbeats uniting.

  He knew something, a strange feeling, that filled him, but he couldn’t explain what it was. Something deep and elemental. It was like he was not one but two. Part of her was him. Possession. Something more. No, it could not be. He couldn’t feel anything deep for her. This was desire. Lust, pure and simple. He had wanted her a long time. That’s what – he’d got too used to the craving of having her.

  For some time, he lay with her, inhaling the heat of their bodies, listening to the strangely contenting rhythm of her breathing. Then, he moved away from her to discard the condom. He came out of the bathroom and poured a drink. The scant rays of moonlight outlined the voluptuous female form on his bed. He tried to examine the strange mixture of his feelings. What he felt was pain and something else. He didn’t understand it. He should be sated…his body told him it was, but his mind was hungry, possessive, seeking. He put down his half-finished drink and got back into bed with her. As she sleepily wrapped around him, he closed his eyes and eased into sleep, holding her in a tangle uncaring of time or of anything that happened in the world around them.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  How did she end up here? Lyna wondered fuzzily, staring into the darkness before the faint moonlight made her see more clearly and remember the night.