First Kiss (Heavy Influence)

by Frohoff, Ann Marie

  “Ok and…spit it out already,” she said impatiently, unable to stand the buildup.

  “Ok, ok.” I giggled louder, covering my mouth. “Basically I used it to dry off my face and I kept it.”

  “And, tell me, how did Nadine act? You know, she kills me sometimes how she throws herself at guys.” She shook her head. Boom, there it was, another snide remark. Nicole had been tossing out subtle digs about Nadine more often these days. I refused to bite. I didn’t want to choose sides.

  “No, she didn’t hang on Jake. She didn’t have a chance. Her mom came looking for her. She said she would be here after her doc appointment.”

  I finally laid down on the lounge. I was sweating from the heat. The sun burned at my skin. It kinda felt good, like a massage. Even knowing that I would pay for the sun damage later in life, I didn’t care. I didn’t use sunscreen. I loved having that sun kissed look.

  All of sudden water came our way. Greg and Grant started shooting us with water from over-sized water guns.

  “Stop it you a-hole!” Nicole roared. She didn’t like to get her hair or face wet. In fact, when she swam she only went in the water up to her chin.

  “Calm down, sorry,” Grant said trying not to laugh. “What’s up with you guys today, all secretive n’shit.”

  ”Let’s go, they’re talking about Jake Masters,” Greg said, spilling the beans.

  “What? Jake? That fucking wannabe, he sucks and so does his band.” Grant spewed as he climbed out of the pool. My blood boiled at the insult.

  “Shut the eff up,” I snapped. “You’re just jealous because you can’t play your stupid guitar as good as he can.”

  I was shocked as the harsh words rolled out of my mouth. I instantly regretted it. Nicole’s mouth gaped open. Greg, with his usual timid self, backed away from our confrontation. I felt bad, but it was true. Grant had tried out for Jake’s band six months prior and I never gave it much thought, until now. Grant didn’t get picked, and I knew how badly he wanted it.

  “You’re a bitch, Alyssa.” He picked up his towel and wiped his face. “I was only joking.”

  I realized at that moment he had to be kidding, because he would have never tried out to be in the band if he thought it sucked.

  “Dude, I’m sorry.” My stomach was in my ass.

  Grant hung his towel around his neck as he slipped on his flip-flops.

  “Ok, you guys, just calm down. Grant please don’t leave,” Nicole, begged, as she struggled to retie her bathing suit top, instead opting to gather the towel to her chest as she reached out toward Grant. She liked him. In fact, I think they had a secret thing going on. They were always together.

  “I’ll be back,” he said to Nicole. “I’m gonna go find Greg.”

  Grant went after Greg down the side of the house. We heard him shouting Greg’s name.

  “What the hell, dude. What was that?” Nicole glared at me. “You didn’t have to say that shit.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it…”

  “Uh, yes you did. I’ve never heard one mean word ever cross your lips, Alyssa. So don’t tell me you didn’t mean it. You shoulda seen your face. You know how bad he wanted to be in Jake’s band. I can’t believe you.”

  She got up and stormed into the house, leaving me sitting there in the blistering heat. My head spun. I felt panic rushing through me. Shit, now what? I had managed to piss everyone off all because of Jake Masters in less than an hour. My thoughts went back to Jake. I wanted to be sitting in his room, lying on his bed, smelling his scent. If his friends hadn’t shown up I would have probably been doing just that. I gathered my things and walked into the house. Chris and Stephen were no longer around. Nicole stood at the fridge leaning against it with a soda in hand, glaring at me.

  “I’m really sorry,” I said in a rush, “I don’t know what came over me.” I played with the handles of my bag. “I didn’t get to finish my story, you wanna know?”

  “Uh, yeah,” she said theatrically as if she’d forgotten my verbal bashing of Grant.

  The lameness was instantly gone. I took a deep breath, smiling. “Ok. I was with Jake in his room, listening to his music…and, you know how close we used to be…” I paused.

  Nicole stared off in the distance. She was no longer listening to me. She took a drink of her soda and set it on the counter, pulling her long hair out of her face. I admired how pretty she was, with her all-American-California-girl blond hair and blue eyes. No wonder Grant kissed her ass. He probably felt like he hit the lottery.

  “Hey, just so you know, I’ll call Grant later and apologize and I’ll just talk to you about this later. I’m gonna go home for a bit. Call me when Nadine gets here. I wanna hear what she has to say about Jake. Plus she’ll wanna know what we did after she left.” I flashed a wicked grin.

  “Oh come on!” she whined. “There’s gotta be more, I was listening I swear, you have to share!”

  I laughed. “It’s nothing, trust me. Other than Nadine’s slice on it and I can’t wait to hear it.”

  5

  Alyssa

  I glanced at the clock as I walked out of Nicole’s house. Not very much time had gone by. I wondered if Jake was home and if he was still rehearsing. As I got closer to my house I could hear them playing. I arrived and stood in front of his house. I could hear his voice singing out, and it made me melt. He sounded older. I leaned against his truck. They played through two songs while I stood there in my dream state. All of a sudden the garage started to open and I darted as quickly as I could toward my house.

  “Hey, back already?” Jake called out as he opened the door to his truck, taking out a duffle bag and what appeared to be a camera tripod.

  “Ha, yeah, I kinda got in an argument with one of the guys.” I shrugged.

  “Bummer,” he said. He spoke again with his head down, muttering something I couldn’t hear. He gestured and threw his head back, biting his bottom lip. He was too cute and I couldn’t stand it. “Come by later if you wanna talk about it, the guys should be leaving in an hour or so.”

  My stomach fluttered as the butterflies slammed into each other. I smiled, trying not to look too excited. I was speechless. I looked past Jake and noticed Mike was staring at me with a smug attitude.

  I slowly walked back to my house in a daze, thinking it would be cool if Nadine liked Mike instead. I wished so hard that it would happen. I had a lump in my throat the size of a grapefruit, and my mouth was super dry. Gross, I thought. I went straight to the kitchen and gulped down a glass of water. I wondered if anyone was home.

  I shouted out, “Is anyone home?”

  There was no response.

  The only sound was the whirl of a fan someone forgot to turn off. I was a nervous wreck. I screamed out loud, throwing myself down onto the sofa. I was totally in la la land. Thanking God it was summer time and school wouldn’t interfere with whatever was happening. My bag dropped to the floor and I leaned over, taking out Jake’s shirt and draping it over my face. I lay on the sofa like that for an hour; peaking out every so often to see how many minutes had ticked by. Finally it was time to check if Jake’s band mates were gone. I sprinted up the stairs to my room and stared at myself in the mirror as if my reflection would tell me what to do. I was a mess. Jake was more than “just Jake” now. He was the ignition that started my engine.

  I ran to my parent’s room, the only room in the house that had a view of Jake’s back yard and of his bedroom window. When his window blinds were open there was a clear view into his room; one of the otherwise not so wanted benefits of living in suburbia, but I was happy about it. I didn’t see anyone.

  I bound down the stairs and slowly opened the front door. I was happy we had a courtyard, so no one could see me unless they were standing right in front of the gate. I crept over to the fence to see if I could hear anything. There was no longer any muffled music or voices. I pulled over a nearby chair and peeked over the fence to see if see if any of the guy’s cars were still parked in fro
nt. They were gone.

  I walked back into the house with my stomach in knots. I felt silly all of a sudden. Would he think I was a cling-on, a groupie or whatever they called those fan girls? I thought about that movie Almost Famous – come to think of it, Jake and I had watched that movie together with my brother. There was no weirdness then. I wanted there to be no weirdness now. I needed to snap out of it. Finally, after talking to myself forever I made my way to his house.

  “Hey,” I said softly as I approached his garage interior.

  “Hey, I was just wondering if you were gonna come back over. I was gonna wait a little bit longer and then head over to Dump’s house.” He flashed his thousand-watt smile at me. My hands began to sweat as my blood rushed to my head. “Are you ok?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “I don’t know. You look flushed.” He looked concerned.

  Oh my God! I was totally blushing! What a fucking freak, I had to get a grip! My thoughts smacked against each other as they ran around my brain.

  “It’s hot out here, aren’t you hot?” I said, fanning my face with my hand. Now I was light headed.

  “Let’s go in the house, I’ll get you some water.”

  He grabbed my hand pulling me toward him so he could put his arm around my shoulders. What he didn’t realize was that when he touched me it made my heart pump faster and my light-headedness even worse. We went into the house and immediately the cold air gave me relief. He sat me at the kitchen counter and handed me water from the fridge. I pressed the cold bottle against my cheek and closed my eyes. I breathed in deeply; telling myself it was no big deal. I could smell the faint scent of him, and I breathed in deeper. Opening my eyes, I felt an instant surge. Jake was still standing there, staring at me. His mouth was slightly open and he was watching me. My insides melted into my feet.

  He cleared his throat. “Are you feeling better?”

  “Yeah, thanks. I should probably go home and lay down.” I got up and stumbled a bit, grabbing the counter. “This sucks, I really wanted to listen to more of your music and….”

  “You can lay down on my bed…come on,” he interrupted, and grabbed my hand. “You probably just got a little heat stroke or something.”

  He led me through the house to his room. I thought I was dreaming.

  He released my hand and fluffed his pillows. His gesture tugged at my heart even more. “Here, take a load off. Make sure you drink that water.”

  I collapse on the bed more dramatically than I needed to, but I wanted the smell of him to wrap around me. Just as I sank in comfortably another voice came through the house. This time it was a female’s.

  “Jake?” the voice grew louder.

  “Yeah,” he shouted, “I’m in my room.” He stood up walking to the door and stopped.

  “Hey sexy,” a raspy voice purred, then a short silence. “What’s going on?” she asked as she came to the door. By the tone of her voice it was apparent she’d noticed me lying there. I kept my eyes closed.

  “That’s my next door neighbor, Alyssa. She’s not feeling well, probably from the heat.”

  “And you couldn’t lay her on your couch?”

  “Calm down,” he bit back.

  I could hear the voices fade down the hallway. I heard another girl’s voice too. I could barely make out what Jake was saying.

  “Look, we were gonna listen to some music too, it’s no big deal.”

  “No big deal? Jake, how would you feel if you walked into my room and saw a dude lying on my bed?”

  “Rachel, if he was fourteen and your next door neighbor I wouldn’t care.”

  My stomach dropped. Fourteen, that’s what he saw me as, fourteen, and what the hell was I doing here? Ok, this happened for a reason. I needed to get a grip. He was way out of my league. He would always be “just Jake,” my friend. I sat up in an attempt to get a better ear full.

  “She’s only fourteen,” she said dryly. “She doesn’t look fourteen.”

  “Well, she is. She’s gonna be a freshman this year.”

  “Great,” The sarcastic tone continued.

  “Look, Rachel, I don’t know what else to say.”

  “You could tell her to go home. We were supposed to be hangin’ today.”

  “Her parents aren’t home. I’d feel better if she stayed here until she felt better.”

  There was another long silence and the girl (Rachel, I guess) spoke.

  “Rachel, you’re outta control. Let’s go.”

  Rachel laughed.

  “Jake, we’ll see you later. Don’t forget Dump’s expecting you, you might wanna call him. Call me when she leaves,” She added, clearly agitated.

  I didn’t hear anything else. I took a drink of water and stared at the posters of the hot chicks stuck to his wall. Those are the kinda chicks Jake likes. Rachel was probably as hot as these girls hanging on his wall. I laughed to myself, shaking my head.

  “Why you shaking your head?” Jake’s voice took me by surprise and I jumped.

  “I didn’t realize I was.” I stared back at him sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you and your girlfriend to fight because of me.”

  “She’s not my girlfriend,” he said firmly.

  “Sounds like she thinks she is.”

  “Well, she wants to be, but I don’t feel the same way. Besides—”

  “So you don’t like her?” I interrupted, surprised at my boldness. But I wanted to know, and now. I wanted to know him, every little thing I’d missed after all this time.

  “Kind of….” He trailed off. Then he laughed. “Only sometimes, after I’ve had a few beers. No, just kidding. I kinda dig her, yeah, but she’s a little hard to handle. She’s a spoiled brat and I don’t know if I can deal with that.” He sat down next to me.

  “What’s going on with you, Alyssa?” he probed.

  “Well, obviously not too much, since I’m only fourteen.” I blurted it out without wanting to, like vomit.

  He was silent and I couldn’t look at him. I was embarrassed. I could feel him staring at me, burning a hole into my head. I heard him breathe deeply and felt his bed move. He tipped back, lying flat. I glanced over and his hands were over his face, covering his eyes. His shirt came up, exposing his stomach, and all I could do was stare at his smooth skin. I wanted to touch him. He looked through his hands and caught me staring at him. I didn’t move. Reaching over he touched my arm, tracing it with the tips of his fingers all the way to my hand and held it. I was frozen. My heart raced and tunnel vision took over. The lump in my throat almost choked me. I was worried he’d feel my hand starting to sweat.

  “Look, I only said that to calm her down.” He let go of my hand and sat up. “Alyssa, you’re like family to me, I mean come on, what’s going on here?”

  Did he really want to know that this morning he kick started something in me I’d never felt before and I wanted him to explain to me what it was? Did “family” members do that to each other? I was grossed out at the thought.

  “Jake,” I said, standing up, “It’s nothing, I just felt a little stupid – like I was a kid or something when you said that. I’m not a child. You know, I have feelings too. I’d better go. This was obviously a bad idea, me coming over here and hanging out. I didn’t mean to cause problems.”

  What the hell was I doing? Fuck, I just kept puking all over the place.

  “Alyssa, I don’t want you to leave, I really want you to stay.” He stood up, towering over me. His strong arms embraced me in a hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It was unintentional.”

  “But I heard you tell Rachel that you’d call her after I left. So she’s probably waiting to hear from you soon…”

  “Alyssa, I don’t wanna see her.” He sat down at his desk, facing the screen. “She just rubbed me the wrong way. I’ll call her in a little bit to tell her it’s a no go.”

  He banged at the keys and brought up some music; it filled the air and took the edge off.

&nbs
p; “The cool thing about you is I know where you stand. You were always very open and opinionated, even if the timing was inappropriate.” He smiled broadly at me with his perfectly white straight teeth.

  “You’re teeth are so white.” I marveled.

  “Oh, yeah, my mom makes me use those white strips,” he said rolling his eyes.

  “Well, it makes you that much more sexy,” I said, laughing at myself for emphasizing the word “sexy” with hand quotations as I mocked Rachel. Jake face bent with amusement. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make fun.”

  He shook his head. “A little fire in you, I see. I can never underestimate you, can I?"

  6

  Alyssa

  Jake and I sat in his room for hours talking about music and his past tours. When I expressed interest in playing the guitar he insisted on teaching me. I was energized when I got it pretty quickly. When I finally looked over at the clock it was 5:30 p.m.

  “Shit, the time!” I panicked. “Um, I should probably get going. I left my phone at home in my bag. The units are probably wondering where I’m at.”

  “Shit! And I forgot to call Rachel. Great. She’s really gonna be happy now. Guess we’re both in trouble, huh?” He slumped. “Now, don’t get pissed, but I don’t wanna hear it from her, so I’m not gonna tell her you stayed here the whole time. It’s just easier.”

  He walked out of the room. I could hear his voice but couldn’t decipher his words with the music playing in the background. Then his voice grew louder. Were they fighting? I wanted to know more about this Rachel. I was gonna ask my sister if she knew who she was and I was gonna break out the yearbook so I could see what she looked like. Staring at the snapshots with the two girls again, I wondered which one she was.

  Jake walked back in agitated. He threw his phone hard at the bed.

  “You know, it’s probably better it happened like this.” He shut his door. He stood there shaking his head “Fuck, what a bitch. Oh, by the way, my mom’s home now. I don’t need her poking around here, that’s why I shut the door.”