My insides rolled around picturing my friend hooking up with another dude. I just couldn’t go there. “This is almost too much, man.” I sighed. “You gotta know I’m a little weirded out. I love you like a brother, so I’m not gonna judge.”
“Yeah. So anyway, he’s Aly’s friend, Marshall.”
“What!” I blurted out surprised. More shocked that Aly didn’t say anything to me. I knew she just had to know. I stepped harder on the gas-peddle looking at the clock. We’d been driving for five hours and were on the outskirts of San Bernardino, almost home.
“I knew you’d react this way,” he said flicking his cig out the window. “But I had to tell you, because I don’t wanna hide anymore and I’m with you more than anyone else.”
I took in a deep breath. “You wanna be the one to tell Dump?” I thought about what Dump’s reaction would be. He’d just laugh his ass off and not say anything else. Dump was the last person to judge someone with what he’d been through in his life.
“You think he’ll freak?”
“No, he may laugh in your face,” I said flatly.
“Yeah,” he sniffed. We both shook our heads slowly in agreement.
Passing Downtown Los Angeles, the tall buildings stared down at us menacingly, lit up like they were filled with people. It was just past eleven-thirty. I dialed Aly’s number, confirming the pickup.
“Hello,” she said whispering.
“Hey, we’ll be there in about half hour.”
“Ok, we’re at Nadine’s,” she confirmed. “Why didn’t you call earlier?”
Glancing at Bobby, I was bummed. I felt like Aly had been lying to me or setting me up. No games I told myself. “Aly, I know Marshall’s with you. So I know you know why I didn’t call you.”
She was quiet. “Jake, this wasn’t my secret to tell. This is between Marshall and Bobby. Bobby’s the one that needed to tell you. So get over yourself,” she said cynically.
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s been a fucked up day, and I’m sure by now you know why.”
“Yes, I do.” She admitted. “You think you’re the only one having an effed up day? Jake, just because you said nothing went on with that chick doesn’t mean my hurt feelings are just gonna go away or that I’m just gonna let it go. That whole thing was just screwed.”
Boom, there it was, she wasn’t gonna let that go easily. “I know, I don’t expect you to get over it, we’ll talk about it when I get there.”
“How’s your hand.” Her tone softened.
“It hurts.”
“I can’t wait to see you.” Her voice cracked and my mood instantly lightened, her voice sweet like sugar. I could practically taste her.
“I’ll be there before you know it.”
I drove like a mad man and made it to Nadine’s house in fifteen minutes.
40
Jake
She was like white light when I pulled around the corner. Aly waited in the darkness, shielded from the streetlights by massive hovering tree limbs. She stood in a white sweater, with three others, glowing like an angel. I couldn’t get out fast enough and left the van running. Rounding the backside I ran into her as she threw herself at me. She wrapped her arms around me tightly. I held her face with my good hand and kissed her hard. Her soft lips and sweet smell made me weak. I’d never been so excited to be with another person in my entire life. I pulled away taking in her beautiful, flawless features.
“Man, you’re a sight,” I said, breathless. Looking around to see if anyone could see us and grabbed her hand walking toward the others.
“Sup man,” Chris said smiling broadly, extending his hand.
“Ha, not sure how smart I am trying to pull this off,” I said taking his hand and squeezing it firmly.
“Shit dude, what happened?” Chris said surprised, pointing at my other hand.
Aly gasped. “Oh, no,” she whispered loudly. “I forgot, I didn’t notice. Does it hurt?”
“Yep, it’s throbbing,” I said holding it up for everyone else to see. “And the story is too long to go into, let’s just say there’re changes on the horizon.
Everyone uncomfortably looked around at each other, waiting for someone to say something.
“Thanks so much guys, for covering for us.” Aly moved toward Nadine hugging her. “I’ll text when we’re on our way back.” She bounced with excitement.
***
I held Aly’s hand while I planned out our next move. I most definitely couldn’t take the pain meds. It would have to be a handful of Advil’s. I instructed Bobby to leave when he saw my truck pass by. Was I crazy? Yeah, I was, but it was worth it.
“Alright, let’s do this,” I said eagerly.
Swiftly walking our way down the block to my house Aly brought up the pictures she’d seen. “What were you thinking, Jake? When you were with that girl?”
“Aly, I wasn’t thinking. I never meant for that to happen. It was a quick moment and I never saw or spoke to her again.” I said, remorsefully. “I promise nothing like that will happen again. I’m done drinking like that. I promise.” We stood at the foot of my truck as Aly accepted my apology. Holding her tight against me, she was the only one I wanted.
“Jake,” Aly whispered. “Your mom will think someone stole your truck when she see’s that’s it’s gone.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll text her that someone needed to borrow it and I forgot to tell her. I’ve loaned my truck out before. She won’t think twice about it.”
My mother’s car was parked right next to my truck and my heart started to race faster knowing she was just yards away. Her bedroom window was at the front of the house and I prayed she wouldn’t hear us.
“Oh my God,” Aly whispered loudly, “I would die if Kyle or Allison pulled up.”
“Don’t worry, get in,” I said, clicking the remote as the head and taillights lit up the night with a flash.
Aly quickly got in shutting the door gently. Every sound we made echoed through the still night. I held my breath as I got in shutting my door too.
“Ok, we have a 6 hour drive back. I have to stop to get Advil and fill up the tanks…”
“Oh my God,” Aly gasped interrupting me. An alarming look spread over her face and my heart jumped to my throat. “Your mom,” she croaked out.
Time stopped. My mom was standing on the darkened front porch, staring at us, unmoving.
“Fuck,” I said closing my eyes, grasping at my thoughts, anything that would make this slide by, but there was nothing, “We’re screwed.”
I grudgingly got out of the truck without looking at Aly. My heart was beating so fast I couldn’t think clearly. I knew as soon as Kate saw my wrapped up hand she’d really freak out.
“Get Aly out of the truck,” she ordered quietly and turned walking inside.
“I’ll tell her to go home.” I gulped, trying to sound level.
“No,” she said turning back. “We’re all gonna have a little talk.”
Aly had her head buried in her hands. I tapped on the window and signaled for her to get out. She looked like she wanted to cry and I didn’t blame her. I felt a knot growing in my throat too, but I swallowed it back down.
“She wants us both to go in,” I said miserably.
“Shit, you think she’s gonna tell my parents?”
“I hope not.” I pulled Aly close as she stepped out of the truck, kissing her forehead. As we turned my mom was standing there watching us. She shook her head in dismay.
Standing in the kitchen paralyzed with anxiety and dread, Aly and I stood close to each other. We waiting, staring at Kate, ready for the explosion. Instead she paced back and forth looking down at the floor. I looked at Aly, and we both shrugged at the same time. I almost burst out laughing. I really was losing it.
“You think this is funny.” Her words buzzed in my ear, electrocuting me to attention. “What’s going on?” she asked, making eye contact with both of us, back and forth.
“Mom, look…”
&nbs
p; “You broke your hand fighting with your band mate. You irresponsibly drive back home to see…” She paused, motioning toward Aly, “leaving your other mates, and Notting.” Aghast, she shook her head in disbelief. “Please explain to me what could possibly be worth all the damage you’ve done.”
“Mrs. Masters…” Aly tried to cut in.
“Alyssa, please tell me…” she said turning her attention full force onto Aly.
“No,” I shouted out, interrupting them both. “No, you’re not gonna do this.” I moved toward my mother pointing at her, separating them. “Aly,” I said firmly, never taking my eyes off my mom. “Go home, I’ll see you later.”
“Jake, please,” Kate domineering stance diminished.
I turned looking at Aly and her eyes began to pool with tears. “Please, just go,” I ordered firmly. She shook her head in agreement and the tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Alyssa, please…” Kate interjected again.
It was more than I could handle and I lost it. “Stop it, just shut up!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. Finally, there was silence as my mother stood there looking at me horrified. Hearing the front door slam shut, I continued. “Leave her out of this, period, this is all me.”
“What am I doing wrong?” My mother’s lips trembled and she began to cry too. She collapsed back into a kitchen chair, staring at me bewildered, the tears dotting her cheeks.
“Don’t make this about you, mom.” I barked. “There’s so much more going on here. Didn’t you believe me when I said I’m kicking Mike out of the band?”
“I was hoping it would work out.” She replied coldly.
“He’s just not a good fit, there’re too many other things I have to think about now. No one likes him.” I explained sitting down next to her. “Mom, come on, I love you. Don’t make a huge deal out of this.”
“You have so much potential,” she said wiping her face with her hands. “I need to know what’s going on with Aly, Jake. Seeing her in your car this late at night is something that I don’t approve of. We’re friends with this family and I highly doubt she’s been allowed out like this.”
I didn’t want to lie to her anymore. “She’s means a lot to me, mom.”
A big sigh rushed out, as her chest heaved. “I don’t want to repeat myself.”
“Then don’t,” I said firmly, jumping up staring down at her. “Nothing you say is gonna change my mind. I like being with her. She makes me happy. I don’t care how old she is and no I’m not screwing around with her. So drop it.” I laid it all out there in one fail swoop and waiting for her retort.
She looked back at me with sad, disappointed eyes. “Ok then, I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. The decisions you make now will be with you for the rest of your life.”
“Stop being so melodramatic,” I begged. “You’re outta control, always making a big deal outta stuff, stop it.”
I knew I took risk by leaving Arizona, but sitting there seeing my mother in a heap of disappointment made me realize it was a totally a terrible idea, regardless of everything else going on with Mike. I apologized for not thinking clearly. I never mentioned Aly’s name until Kate brought her up again. We were both calm and I admitted a little more of how I felt.
“I’m in love with her,” I confessed. “But I’m not gonna say anything to her. I’m not gonna go there yet.” I was beyond shocked that my mother said nothing of it.
Back outside I approached the van. I could see Bobby and Marshall were already out waiting for me.
Bobby took a long drag off his cigarette and shook his head. He knew I’d been caught. “Dude, is your mom a raging mad at us?”
“Where’s Aly?” Marshall asked concerned.
“Dude, sorry, game’s over.” I shrugged. “Kate caught us in the driveway and yeah, pretty much.” Feeling strange, I rambled on. “Uh, so yeah, I guess you can take the van and I’ll get it tomorrow.”
“My shit’s still at the hotel,” Bobby said and dropped his cig on the ground, stepping on it.
“I’m sure they’ll grab your things.” Marshall reassured him.
I stared bewildered at my lifelong friend and his new boyfriend.
***
As I shut my front door quietly, I heard Kate calling out my name from her bedroom. The flicker of the TV was the only thing lighting the way. Walking in, I was hit by the scent of her and clean sheets, the comfortable smell of home. It brought me back to when I was younger and would lay in bed with her to feel safe. A wave of guilt and remorse washed over me. I pushed the feelings down.
“I’m gonna go get my pain meds, be right back.” I announced as my mom got under the covers pulling them up to her chin.
Drained and anxious I popped the lid off the bottle and shook out one lone pill into my hand. I wondered how long it would take to work. I popped it into my mouth and swallowed it without water. I wanted to see Aly again as soon as possible and sent a text:
- HEY, THINGS R GONNA BE FINE. GONNA TALK TO KATE A BIT MORE. I’ll TEXT WHEN I’M DONE. WANT YOU NEXT TO ME.
She pinged back right away:
- OK, SEE YOU SOON.
It was nearly one in the morning. I felt like the life had been sucked out of me. The only constant was the pain in my hand. I stood in the doorway of my mother’s room, wondering if she’d fallen asleep. I walked in sitting on the bed next to her, kicking off my shoes. I didn’t want her to be mad at me. I wanted this whole thing to settle down, but it seemed to only be getting worse. What the fuck was gonna happen with my band? Now that Bobby professed his gayness and Mike was out? Would I have to look for two replacements? Bobby said unequivocally he didn’t want to leave the band, did that mean he would continue living a secret life? As much as I wanted to talk to my mother, I didn’t want to hear it from her either. I just wanted her happy and quiet.
I rested back on the pillow and instantly felt as if I sank three levels. An immediate relief to the constant pain I’d been feeling took hold. I was now floating, painless and relaxed.
“Man, those meds worked just like that,” I slurred out, surprised at the looseness of my tongue. “Geez, I’m so tired.”
“You need to sleep,” My mother said, patting and rubbing my arm. “We have much to work through, Jake. We’re still not done talking about what’s happened.” Hearing her sigh loudly, it echoed in waves through my brain. I felt paralyzed, like I couldn’t move even if I wanted to, as if I was encased in a plaster body cast. I felt so heavy. My eyelids felt like they had sand bags holding them shut.
Tomorrow would be a new day, a new attitude. I should get up and go to my room, I thought. I began wondering through the dark house toward my room. The hallway looked super long and distorted, like a funhouse. The lights were on in my room and shone brightly through the crack between the floor and the door. Did I leave my light on? I didn’t recall even going into my room. I squinted my eyes as I opened the door, expecting it to be shining brightly, instead the only thing on was the TV and Aly was sitting at the head of the bed wearing only her bra and panties, looking at me seductively.
My heart jumped and I felt an instant surge. Without a word I went for her, crawling up next to her kissing her neck. She sighed ardently, wrapping her arms around me pulling me onto her. I could barely breath. She smelled and tasted like sugar. She was so eager, without any hesitation and I couldn’t control myself. If she wanted me, I wouldn’t stop. She would belong to me one hundred percent. Rolling her on top of me, I removed her bra. The softness of her was nearly too much. She pressed into me, holding my face in her hands, kissing me hard and deep. This was unlike any other make out session we’d had. This was gonna be it.
I heard my phone ringing, the musical ringtone blaring loudly. Who the hell could be calling at this hour I wondered. My eyes sprung open, and it was daylight, shit. Lifting my head I realized I was in my mom’s room, in her bed, and thankfully, fully clothed. I quickly got up. What the hell? How long was I dreaming? Did my mom notice? I was mo
rtified and I jumped out of the bed looking around the corner into the bathroom, she wasn’t there. Walking slowing into the living room, I saw her in the kitchen, on the phone, as usual. I quickly went to my room and looked around and it hadn’t been disturbed since I left on tour. Clean clothes were piled in nice neat stacks on my bed. I walked over opening the back door and padded out to the patio looking up at Aly’s house. Taking my phone out of my back pocket, I clumsily dialed her number with my good hand.
“Hey,” she said groggily. “What happened? I fell asleep waiting for you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said in a low voice. “I took those meds and passed out talking to Kate.”
“Awe, how’s your hand?” she asked concerned.
“It aches.” I paused, holding back asking her what I really wanted to ask her. “Um, think you can come over?”
“Is your mom home?”
“Yeah, but come the back way, so she won’t know.”
“Um, I’ll try, give me five minutes.”
41
Jake
I stared at my neatly made bed, picturing rumpled sheets and Aly as she was in my dream. It was the most sexed out dream I’d ever had. All the pent up desire was getting to me. Distracted by the piles staring at me, I began putting my clothes away. It was just after ten a.m. and I wondered what ever happened to Bobby, but didn’t want to call him. Checking my other texts message, there were several from Dump and one from Rachel. I didn’t begin to read them, not wanting to feel bad or mad or any bullshit for that matter. It was all over for now. I had to search for a new rhythm guitarist. I decided to put the word out.
Aly arrived still in her PJ’s. She stuck her head in and leaned against the door looking like the girl next door that she was.
First Kiss (Heavy Influence) Page 29