‘Sorry…’ he began. ‘I guess…’
‘Oh shut up,’ Tash said with a grin before she tugged her dress off and let the pale-blue cotton fall to the floor. ‘I want you, Nick, how many times do I have to tell you?’
‘Just keep saying it and maybe it’ll eventually sink in,’ he said. ‘I guess that there’s part of me that still can’t believe that you want to be with me. I don’t deserve you.’
‘That’s got nothing to do with it. We’re drawn to each other, we always have been, but it just took a while for you to work it out,’ Tash said as she began undoing the small buttons on his shirt.
‘But why do you care? That’s what I can’t work out,’ he said as his hand covered hers and stilled it.
‘The heart wants what it wants.’
‘Tash?’
Slowly her eyes moved up to his. All that she had hoped for was now becoming a reality. It felt like this was the moment—the crux of all her ambitions and desires, and she knew that this would be a turning point in her life. That thought both scared and exhilarated her, and she felt her pulse begin to race as she finally said the words that she had wanted to say for so long.
‘I love you, Nick. There’s a part of me that always has.’
‘Jeez, I never…I mean, I never…I just thought you were being kind and feeling sorry for me.’
‘Yeah, you were a bit slow on the uptake,’ Tash said with a smile. ‘So this isn’t about sympathy or frustrated passion because neither of us has been with anyone else in a long time. It’s about what I feel for you and hopefully one day you might feel the same way. But we’re never going to know unless we take a chance on each other.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Say nothing,’ Tash breathed. ‘Just kiss me.’
He did and it was slow and measured and made Tash’s heart skip a beat. Somehow in the delicious haze Nick managed to lose his shirt, and for the first time Tash was able to feel his skin against hers. They were so close, touching, but Tash wanted more.
‘Tash, I want you more than you could know, but we might have to postpone this,’ he said against her ear. ‘I don’t have…anything with me…’
She gave a quick smile.
‘The emergency kit is in the top drawer.’
‘The what?’
‘Emergency kit. That’s what Bec calls it. She and Sally gifted me one a couple of months ago.’
The smile on Nick’s face grew.
‘Remind me to thank those two, will you?’
‘Not on your life—I would never hear the end of it,’ Tash said as she reached over and opened the drawer, taking out the small, bright-red bag.
‘What’s in there?’ Nick asked. ‘Matches and a flashlight?’
‘Not exactly. There’s a packet of condoms, some breath freshener and a mini bottle of perfume,’ Tash laughed as she emptied the contents on the bed. ‘Hang on, there are a couple of notes, as well.’
Nick picked one up and read.
‘To celebrate the end of a loooooong drought, there is a bottle of champagne hidden at the back of the airing cupboard in the laundry. Love, Bec & Sally.’
Tash felt her cheeks heat up.
‘Honestly, sometimes I don’t know how we can be friends.’
‘Because they come up with stuff like this,’ Nick said with a grin as he snatched up the next note. ‘This place does delivery—so you can get sustenance without leaving the bedroom (well, at least, without leaving the cottage) wink wink. There’s a hundred in the attached envelope, so dinner’s on us. Bec & Sally xxx.’
He handed her the envelope. Tash opened it up and sure enough there was a hundred-dollar bill and a menu tucked inside.
‘They’re kind of unbelievable, aren’t they?’ Tash said with a shake of her head.
‘I think that’s an understatement. Personally, I think I’ll be forever in their debt.’
‘Is that right?’
‘Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I plan to take them up on their kind gift,’ Nick said.
Tash started putting everything back in the bag.
‘Do you now?’
‘Ah-huh, and maybe don’t put all of that away in the bag. I reckon we could work our way through it.’ Nick caught her back into his arms.
Tash let the bag fall back on the bed—forgotten. His hands began to skim over her body, hesitating, pausing over the swell of her breasts. One hand closed over her breast and she wished that the thin layer of silk wasn’t there. He dropped a line of small kisses from her shoulder and back towards her ear before beginning to nuzzle the side of her neck. A warm, tingly feeling started to spread throughout her entire body.
Nick continued his trail of kisses down from her neck until he reached her breast. His hot breath hovered over her sensitive skin and gave her goosebumps. He hesitated and Tash sucked in a breath, waiting. Nick took the tip of her breast in his mouth, and Tash could feel the heat of his lips through the damp silk.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he murmured, before continuing his path downwards.
His strong hands glided over her hips, taking her underwear with them. Tash couldn’t think straight; all she could do was revel in the seductive sensation of Nick’s fingers. Her heart hammered as his hands travelled back over her calves and to her thighs. He parted her legs a little more and she expected the same tantalising exploration to continue, but she was wrong. Nick’s mouth closed over her and she could barely remember how to breathe.
‘Nick…’
He didn’t bother to reply, but continued kissing her until she flew.
Tash wrapped her arms around Nick as he inched his way back up her body, his warm skin sliding over hers. They held each other close for a moment, and Tash tried to get her breathing under control. He reached out and grabbed one of the little foil packets from the emergency kit. When he pulled away from her Tash felt the absence of his heat. She wanted to be near him, so close that she could breathe him in.
He slipped inside her and Tash closed her eyes and revelled in the feeling. Moving together, they merged and followed each other to the edge of the precipice and beyond.
Chapter 20
A couple of days later, Tash arrived at Winters Hill, which made Nick’s afternoon. All he wanted to do was spend as much time as he could with Tash but this turned out to be tricky as their working lives got in the way. If he had his way, they’d stay wrapped up in each other and never leave the bedroom but he guessed that was just a dream, and besides, Tabitha might have something to say about it.
Tash was leaning against him as they sat on the couch, eating some of The Gumnut’s legendary croissants. Their conversation had been as light as the pastry, but when it lulled, Nick knew something was up. For a brief moment, a wave of panic washed over him—and immediately he thought something was wrong. He sat up and gathered a little courage.
‘Tash, is something wrong? Is there something you wanted to tell me?’
She shook her head as she glanced up at him. ‘No,’ she said with a fleeting smile.
They were silent for a moment and then another. ‘Is there something you wanted to ask me?’
Tash shrugged. ‘Maybe, but I don’t know if I should.’
Nick gave her an encouraging smile. ‘Come on, spit it out.’
‘I suppose I want to ask you about the fire and what happened that day. You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry, I had no business asking.’ Tash said as she picked up and fiddled with the closest cushion.
Nick shook his head.
‘Of course you’d be curious. I suppose I should have said something sooner. It’s just I don’t like talking about it.’
‘Then don’t.’
‘If we’re taking this anywhere, you’ve got a right to know. No secrets, everything out in the open.’
‘But…’
‘It’s okay, Tash. I never talk about her and maybe that’s wrong. Sophie was more than her death. She was fun and always quick to laugh and loved strawberries
, rainstorms and her horses, Alfie and Queenie. You remember the fire that threatened the town six years ago?’ Nick said with a slight smile.
Tash nodded. ‘Yeah, it was close. I know that we were lucky the wind changed when it did. If it hadn’t, the fire front was heading straight for us.’
He took a breath before he continued. ‘The wind change saved the town, but it pushed the fire towards Winters Hill. We still had an escape route as the fire was coming up one side of the hill. The car was almost packed and we were about ready to go. I thought I had everything under control, but I didn’t realise just how fast a fire can travel. I was caught off guard. Part of me wanted to stay to see if I could save the house as it was so close to being finished, but I knew it was more important to get Sophie to safety. Anyway, I told her to get in the car and that I would only be a couple of minutes. I wanted to open the last couple of gates so the sheep at least had a chance of getting away. And I needed to open the stables and get the horses out. She wanted to do that, but I said no. The horses would be panicked and she was pregnant.’
‘You don’t have to go on, Nick.’
‘Yeah, I do.’
He was silent for a moment as he tried to gather himself.
‘I told her that if I wasn’t back in five minutes to drive down to the road and that I’d meet her there. I got one of the gates open and herded the sheep out. They all ran down the drive and towards the road. There was time to get the horses, but the wind had whipped up and pushed the fire along the north side of the hill faster than I thought possible. I ran towards the stable, but the flying embers had beaten me to it. The stable roof was already on fire, and as I ran forward I saw one of the horses gallop past me and down the track to the road below. That’s when I realised that Sophie was in the stables. As I reached the doorway, I saw Sophie near Queenie’s stall at the back. I screamed to her to get out, but the roof had already begun to collapse. Sophie ran towards me, but it was too late—the burning beams came down. The place was filled with fire and smoke and charred wood. If I close my eyes I can still see it—smell it. I dragged her out, but she was already…gone.’
‘I’m so sorry, Nick. What you went through…’
‘Was nothing compared to Sophie. I should have made sure that she was—’
‘You can’t blame yourself, Nick,’ Tash said as she reached out and took his hand. Her fingers skimmed over the old burns that puckered his skin—permanent reminders of the terrible day. ‘You didn’t start the fire, that awful firebug from over Maldon way did. Remember? The one who’s now in jail for arson and murder—he did this, not you. You weren’t responsible for your wife’s actions, either. I’m sure she thought she had time to get the horses, but it didn’t turn out that way. The whole thing is awful and tragic and unfair, but it wasn’t your fault.’
‘Yes, but…’
Tash shook her head and squeezed his hand.
‘No buts. You couldn’t have done anything more. You can mourn Sophie and rally at the injustice of losing your wife and unborn child because it’s a terrible thing. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you’ve gone through, but you have nothing to feel guilty about. You did everything you could.’ Tash tugged on his arm. ‘Come on.’
‘Where?’
‘I don’t know, but I reckon we could both do with some fresh air, followed by a decent cup of tea.’
Nick let her lead him out of the caravan and into the sunshine. They wandered hand in hand down through the garden and down towards the paddock. Leaning on the old rail fence, Nick pulled Tash in and hugged her. The sun warmed him and the cool breeze tugged gently at his hair. Looking out across his land, he saw that the green pastures were beginning to spread over the once dry countryside. The seasons had changed and a new cycle had begun. The thought made him smile—maybe it wasn’t just the land that had a renewal.
‘Feel better?’ Tash asked as she looked up at him.
‘Yeah,’ he nodded. ‘I do.’ It was the truth, Nick felt as if a great weight had been lifted off him.
‘I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.’
He gave her a light squeeze. ‘It’s time to put the past to rest. Our future is ahead of us, let’s not look behind anymore.’
Nick ran his hands down Tash’s back. His fingers lightly grazed her bare shoulders. He couldn’t remember ever touching anything so silky. His heart seemed to beat a little harder as he gently pulled her towards him. The faint scent of her perfume wrapped around him and drew him closer. There were flowers in its intoxicating mix and maybe roses, but also something deeper—warmer, woodier—that made him want to hold her close and breathe her in.
Her soft mouth opened as his lips touched hers, welcoming him. Everything about Tash felt right, as if they had always been waiting to get to this point. Their kiss deepened and Tash’s hands skimmed along his shoulders before spiking up into his hair.
He needed her in every way possible and it frightened him. Nick had never thought that he’d fall in love again—not like this, anyway. When he’d first met Sophie they’d both been barely out of their teens. Their love had been true and bright. But in a lot of ways they had both been a bit like kids trying to be adults; it had been hard and even though he liked to remember it differently, it hadn’t been a bed of roses. Sophie had been his first love, but Tash would be his last.
What he felt for Tash was…well…Hell, he couldn’t put it into words. Whatever it was, it seemed to come from deep within him.
Tash pulled away from the kiss and smiled. She took his hand, her warm fingers sliding over the old burns that puckered over his skin.
‘Come on, follow me.’
‘Where?’
‘Well, the bed’s this way.’
Nick grinned. Tash glanced over her shoulder, her eyes light with laughter.
‘I can see that you’re in a hurry,’ she said, ‘but we’re going to make love somewhere comfortable. You know, in an actual bed, instead of against a shed wall or the car.’
‘I didn’t realise it was a problem…’
‘It isn’t,’ she said as she pulled him towards the bedroom.
***
A couple of hours later Nick stood outside the caravan. He held up his hand and gave a wave as Tash drove past. He looked around and everything appeared a little brighter: the sky, the landscape…everything. Okay, maybe that was stupid, but it was how he felt. A cynic would say that he was just experiencing the afterglow of being loved-up, but it was more than that. For the first time, Nick could see a future, one in which he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want to push his luck, but he decided to be mildly optimistic, which was weird as up until this very moment he’d forgotten what that felt like. He began to smile. It was a bloody good feeling.
He watched as Tash’s little car bumped down the long track. But just as she almost reached the bottom, another car turned into the driveway and started up the hill. Tash had to pull over to let the white car pass.
It took Nick a few seconds to work out it was Pete Telford driving towards him. There came the familiar, sinking sensation in his stomach. God, that was so unfair, the poor bugger takes the time to come and say g’day, and all Nick could do was wish he hadn’t.
‘Hey, Peter,’ he said as the car came to a stop and Peter got out.
‘Hi yourself. I was just passing by and I thought I’d drop in.’
‘That was good of you. You want a cuppa or something?’
Peter smiled.
‘I reckon I could go a coffee.’
Nick nodded and headed back towards the caravan. Peter quickly fell into step with him.
‘So, how’s it all been going?’ Peter paused to scan the farm all the way to the caravan. ‘Looks like you’ve been busy. I don’t think I remember the old place ever looking this good. Hey, is that a new shearing shed?’
‘Yes. I put it in a few weeks ago. The old one was falling apart and I’ll need it if I’m going to increase the mob.’
‘You’re expanding Winters Hill?’
‘I’ve let the place run down. It’s high time that I did something about it.’
‘Sounds like you’re inspired.’ Peter stared at him for a moment. ‘So everything’s good?’
Nick opened his mouth to answer, but then closed it again. Everything was more than good. Not only had he found friends and a new life, but Tash was bringing his heart back to life. He glanced at Peter. Somehow he couldn’t say all this to him.
‘Yeah, things are okay.’
‘Glad to hear it. So, was that your girlfriend who I passed coming in here?’
‘No, she’s just a friend.’
Peter smiled, but it didn’t seem to reach his eyes.
‘Come on in. I can offer you mineral water, orange juice or a beer.’
‘A beer sounds good.’
Nick led him into the caravan and gave him a beer. He tried hard to find some common ground with Peter, but once the weather was exhausted, the conversation dwindled. There had been a few disruptions to the silence, like when Peter described his new tractor or how many bales of hay he managed to produce last season, but it only confirmed to Nick that all he had in common with Peter was Sophie. Relief washed over him when Peter finally stood up and announced that he’d better get going.
‘Give my love to the family,’ Nick said as he walked him back to his car.
‘Will do,’ Peter said and slid into the driver’s seat. ‘I know it’s been difficult for you, but don’t forget we’re still family. Give it a bit of time and then come out to our place again. Next time won’t be as traumatising, I promise.’
Nick nodded, but said nothing. Honestly, no matter what he felt for Sophie’s family he doubted that he could survive another visit. He blew out a breath as he watched the white car sail down the old dirt road towards the road at the bottom of the hill, glad that the whole thing was over.
***
The sun was going down by the time Nick made it back to the caravan. If he hadn’t been so damn tired he might have noticed that something was off.
White Gum Creek Page 20